Siqhele olo thando luvela ngokwalo kwaye akufuneki benze nawuphi na umzamo wokugcina le mvakalelo. Kwaye nangona kunjalo, ngamanye amaxesha asikhathazeki kubudlelwane. Yintoni kanye kanye uthando lokwenene, oluzisa ulonwabo nolwaneliseko?
Uthando yimvakalelo emangalisayo kwaye, ukongeza, lo ngowona mthombo uphambili wengqondo yethu. Ukusuka ekungabikho nto ukungakwazi ukuyifumana, sifumana olona nyango lukhulu. Ungafunda njani ukuthanda?
Njengenyathelo lokuqala, kubalulekile ukunxibelelana nale mvakalelo ngokwakho. Le yindawo yokuqala ukuze ndimthande ngokwenene omnye umntu. Ngaphandle koko, iya 'kuqinisa "ingqalelo" ingqalelo kubudlelwane, umnqweno ongapheliyo wokufumana. Ilinde iqabane lento angazange alinike yona.
Ungayenza njani le nto ngokwenene, engaqeqeshelwa kwi-narcissism kunye ne-evocescesm? Okokuqala, ukuze ube nenceba. Rhoqo, owona mgwebi ungqongqo ungaphakathi kwethu, kwaye le nxalenye ibaluleke kakhulu ekwakugwebayo, ngokuthelekisa, ukuthintela kunye nezixhobo. Ukuba mna andizinikeli ndizukiswa kwaye ndincothule, ndibalinde ukuba ndibalinde kwabanye, ukuba andizibali izipho, ixesha, ndilidlelane neqabane endingabi nalo bazifumane. Kwindlela yothando, kubalulekile ukubona zonke "iidragoni" ezilambileyo "kwaye zindle. Ke, ngamnye kuthi unamandla okutshintshiselana ngamandla asempilweni kwisibini, esazi ukuba ayinike kakuhle ngaphandle kwemfuno yokubawa okanye ukhuphe uthando lomnye umntu.
Inqaku lesibini lokuqala ekukhuleni kolonwabo kulwalamano kukuba abekho nothando kungekuphela njengabaluvo, kodwa nendawo yesenzo. Uthando yisenzi, kwaye kuthetha indawo yesenzo. Xa Ugcino Yothando Njengoko kwisigaba sokuqala kobudlelwane, iqonga, nto imnandi kangaka ukuthatha ngenxa yothando ngenxa ezizitho iimvakalelo kunye isiqalo esithile hormone, kwenzeka xa ubushushu ithathwa ngakumbi, bezolile, urhulumente olunzulu yecandelo. Okwangoku, amanyathelo abalulekile ngokubhekisele kwenye. Izenzo, amaqabane amnandi nawaqondakalayo, ngoobani "ulwimi olude". Sonke sifunda ngokwahlukileyo isenzo sothando malunga nomntu wakho. Kumntu, kubaluleke kakhulu ukubona izijekulo zenkxalabo, emntwini oveza amazwi enkxaso, kumntu obalulekileyo onokuchitha ixesha kunye kwaye ube kwi-compound yomdla. Rhoqo, sithetha ukuba ukubonisa uthando kwiqabane kukwenza into efanayo endingathanda ukuyibona ngokunxulumene nawe. Umzekelo, phatha, kwaye iqabane libalulekile ukuva amagama okuncoma kunye nenkxaso. Sinika izipho, kwaye iqabane livakalelwa lithandwa xa izinto anomdla kuye.
Oku kuthetha oku kulandelayo kukubona "amaxesha onyaka" ezahlukeneyo zothando. Kwi-Psychology, utshintsho lwamaxesha onyaka yenye yezona ndlela zibalulekileyo zokukhulisa. Ke, njengoko sithanda ukutshintsha kwamaxesha, sinokwazisa amanqanaba ohlukeneyo ubudlelwane. Amaxesha "aMfusa" afudumeleyo kwaye angangoyiki kwaye angavumeli "kubanda". "Ubusika" bobudlelwane, njengenxalenye yomjikelo, njengoko ixesha lokubanda nelikhohlakeleyo - lihlala lithuba elihle lokuzalwa kwexesha elitsha leemvakalelo, ukuphuculwa kwentwasahlobo kwisibini. Nditsho nokwamkelwa kwexesha elingamkelwa ixesha, imvume yokuba yenziwe ngokudibeneyo yinxalenye yayo. Kwaye, ngokuchasene noko, ndilinde ingqumbo engapheliyo yeemvakalelo kunye neepeyinti, umfanekiso ofanelekileyo unciphisa kakhulu amathuba okuphuma "ebusika" kwisixhobo esitsha.
Enye inqaku elibalulekileyo kunye nelitye endleleni eya endleleni yokuthanda yintlungu elona cala lichasene nembasa. Ukuba sihlala phantsi kwintlungu, siyayazi, asazi ukuba siphile njani, siguqukele kwintlekele enkulu, ngoko sizivalela kuthando, siba yiplasitikithi. Ukuba uthethe iintlungu ezinyanisekileyo "Ungaze", emva koko uzivale ngokuzenzekelayo eluthandweni. Ukukwazi ukuphila iintlungu, musa ukuyithatha kwimeko yengxaki kunye nedrama - ubugcisa obukhulu bomphefumlo wamabhinqa. Oku kwenza ukuba kwenzeke ukuba kuthatha ubomi obukhulu kwaye kuyahluka, ukubonakaliswa kwabantu abazehlule ngokubi nokulungileyo, abamnyama nomhlophe, kwaye baphila. "Ewe, ndikulungele ukuthanda, kwaye ndiyazi ukuba isenokwenzakaliswa, kodwa ndikhetha ukuba ndiphile kwaye ndizive, kunokuba ndifihle kuyo yonke into kwaye ndinesivumelwano sangaphakathi.
Kwaye ekugqibeleni, isitshixo esibaluleke ngakumbi kuluthando lobugcisa kukubona ubungqina babo ngokuboniswa kweqabane. Ubudlelwane sisipili esinyanisekayo. Kuyo ukuba sibona amanqaku abo okukhula. Le yindlela umphefumlo wethu. Eyona ndawo iphambili yokucaphuka kwiqabane lethu ihlala iyinyani yokuba andizithanga. Eli lithuba lokubona indawo oyiyo ukukhula, ukuguqula.
Uthando Luyatshintsha iindlela kunye neepropathi, ukuzabalazela ukungabikho komntu kunye nokwamkelwa komntwana, kunye nabantu abakhetha indlela yokuphuhlisa amandla abo okuthanda, ukufumana ubuhle obumangalisayo kunye nokungcamla ebomini.