Tumenyereye ko urukundo ruvukana ubwacyo kandi ntirukeneye kugira imbaraga zo gukomeza iyi myumvire. Kandi nyamara, rimwe na rimwe ntitwishimiye umubano. Nukuri urukundo nyarwo rugomba kuba, ruzana umunezero no kunyurwa?
Urukundo nibyiyumvo byiza kandi, byongeyeho, iyi niyo mpamvu nyamukuru ya psyche yacu. Bitabishoboka kubibona, turimo duhura nibibazo byinshi. Nigute ushobora kwiga gukunda?
Nkintambwe yambere, birakenewe guhuza nibi byiyumvo kuri wewe. Iki nicyo rwose intangiriro kugirango ukunde rwose undi muntu. Bitabaye ibyo, "bizaba" kwigoza "mu mibanire, icyifuzo kidahagije cyo kwakira. Gutegereza umufatanyabikorwa kubyo atigeze yitanga.
Nigute wabikora mubyukuri, ntabwo azunguruka muri Narcissism na Egontrism? Mbere ya byose, kugirango uhinduke imbabazi. Akenshi, umucamanza ukomeye muri twe, kandi nikihe gice kitoneyeho guhora yamaganwa, agereranya nibibuza nibikoresho. Niba nanjye ubwanjye ntanze guhimbaza no gushima, nzabategereza umururumba wabandi, niba ntaratanga impano, imbaraga, nzabona amakosa ku isi, umufatanyabikorwa n'abo nabakunzi ntabikora Mubone. Mu nzira y'urukundo, ni ngombwa kubona "dranons zose" kandi ikabagaburira. Rero, buri wese muri twe ashoboye guhanahana imbaraga muburyo bwiza, azi kubitanga neza adakeneye gucungura cyangwa kurarikira undi muntu.
Intangiriro ya kabiri mubushobozi bwo kwishima mubucuti ni ukurera urukundo ntabwo ari ahantu h'ibyiyumvo gusa, ahubwo no ahantu hakorwa. Urukundo ninshinga, kandi bivuze agace k'igikorwa. Iyo euphoria yurukundo nkigiciro cya mbere cyimibanire, icyiciro, cyiza cyane gufata urukundo kubera inyamaswa yibyiyumvo nimiturire idasanzwe, ibaho mugihe ubushyuhe butuje, butuje kandi bwimbitse y'ikigo. Kuri iki cyiciro, ibikorwa byingenzi kubijyanye nundi. Ibikorwa, abafatanyabikorwa bawe beza kandi bafatika, ni "ururimi rurerure". Twese turasoma muburyo bwurukundo kubyerekeye umuntu wawe. Ku muntu, ni ngombwa cyane kubona ibimenyetso bihangayikishije, kumuntu - umva amagambo yinkunga, kumuntu ufite akamaro kanini kumarana umwanya kandi ukaba uri mu nyungu. Akenshi, turashaka kuvuga ko kwerekana urukundo dukunda umufatanyabikorwa ni ugukora ikintu kimwe ndashaka kubona mubijyanye nawe wenyine. Kurugero, witondere, kandi umufatanyabikorwa ni ngombwa kumva amagambo yo kwishima no gushyigikirwa. Dutanga impano, kandi umufatanyabikorwa yumva akundwa mugihe inyungu ze zamusangiye.
Akamaro gakurikira ni ukubona "ibihe" bitandukanye by'urukundo. Muri psychologiya, impinduka yibihe nimwe mubyiciro byingenzi byo gukura. Rero, mugihe twishimira impinduka zigihe, dushobora gushima ibyiciro bitandukanye byimibanire. Kubaho neza "ubushyuhe" kandi ntutinye kandi ntukinesha "imbeho". "Imbeho" yimibanire, nkigice cyinzitizi nikibazo - burigihe ni amahirwe akomeye yo kuvuka kwibyiyumvoshya, kuzamura amasoko. Ndetse no kurera igihe nk'iki, uruhushya rwo koroshya cyane igice cyacyo. Kandi, mu buryo bunyuranye, utegereje ingeso zidashira, ishusho nziza igabanya cyane amahirwe yo kuva mu "gihe cy'itumba" mu buryo bushya.
Indi ngingo y'ingenzi n'ibuye mu nzira igana ku bushobozi bwo gukunda ari ububabare bukaba uruhande rutandukanye rw'umudate. Niba twiyeguriye ububabare, irinde, ntituzi kubaho, guhindukirira ibyago byinshi byubuzima, noneho twiyegereza urukundo, tuba parastike. Niba wavuze ububabare buvuye ku mutima "nta na rimwe", noneho uhita wirukana mu rukundo. Kugirango ubashe kubaho ububabare, ntubifate muburyo bwibibazo nikinamico - ubuhanzi bukomeye bwumutima wumukobwa. Ibi bituma bishoboka gufata ubuzima bwibintu binini kandi bitandukanye, kwigaragaza kwabantu ntibigabanya ibibi kandi byiza, umukara n'umweru, kandi byera kandi bizima. Ati: "Nibyo, niteguye gukunda, kandi nzi ko bishobora kubabaza, ariko nahisemo kuba muzima no kumva ko ndi muzima kandi nkabyumva, aho kwishimira ibintu byose." Iki nikintu gikomeye.
Hanyuma, kimwe nurufunguzo rwingenzi kurukundo rwurukundo ni ukubona ibitekerezo byabo mubigaragaza. Umubano ni indorerwamo idasanzwe. Ni muri yo tubona ingingo zabo zo gukura. Uku nuburyo ubugingo bwacu butera imbere. Ingingo y'ingenzi yo kurakara muri mugenzi wacu ihora kuba ntabitse. Numwanya wo kubona agace kawe, guhinduka.
Urukundo ruhindura imiterere n'imiterere, guharanira kurega bidasubirwaho no kurerwa, nabantu bahitamo inzira yiterambere ryubushobozi bwabo bwo gukunda, kubona ububiko budasanzwe bwubwiza nuburyohe bwubuzima.