We are accustomed that love arises by itself and do not need to make any effort to maintain this feeling. And nevertheless, sometimes we are unhappy in the relationship. What exactly should true love be, which brings happiness and satisfaction?
Love is a wonderful feeling and, in addition, this is the main resource of our psyche. From the impossibility of getting it, we are experiencing the largest stresses. How to learn to love?
As a first step, it is necessary to connect with this feeling towards yourself. This is exactly the starting point in order to really love another person. Otherwise, it will be "tightening" attention in relationships, an insatiable desire to receive. Waiting from the partner of what he did not give himself.
How to do this truly, not rolling into narcissism and egocentrism? First of all, to become a merciful. Often, the most strict judge is within us, and it is this critical part that constantly condemns, compares, prohibits and devices. If I myself do not give myself praise and compliments, I will greedily wait for them from others, if I did not give myself gifts, time, resources, then I will find fault to the world, a partner and loved ones that I do not get them. On the path of love, it is important to see all the "hungry dragons" and feed them. So, each of us becomes capable of a healthy energy exchange in a pair, knows how to give it beautifully without the greedy need to redeem or pull out the love of another person.
The second starting point in the ability to be happy in the relationship is the adoption of love not only as the areas of feelings, but also the area of action. Love is a verb, and it means the area of action. When the Euphoria of Love As the first phase of relations, the stage, which is so sweet to take for love because of the beast of feelings and a special hormonal background, occurs when the heat is replaced by a more even, quiet and deep state of the compound. At this stage, actions are important with respect to the other. Actions, pleasant and understandable partners, who are his "Long language". We are all differently reading the actions of love regarding your person. For someone, it is most important to see the gestures of concerns, for someone - hear words of support, for someone incredibly important to spend time together and be in the compound of interest. Often, we mean that to show love for a partner is to do the same thing that I would like to see in relation to yourself. For example, take care, and the partner is important to hear the words of admiration and support. We give gifts, and the partner feels loved when his interests shared with him.
The following importance is to see the various "seasons" of love. In psychology, the change of seasons is one of the most important growth metaphors. So, as we admire the change of seasons, we can admire various stages of relationships. Vividly live "warm" times and not be afraid and not to dramatize "cold". "Winter" of relations, as part of a cycle, as the time of the cold and crisis - is always a great opportunity for the birth of a new turn of feelings, a spring upgrade in a pair. Even the adoption of such a period, permission to be significantly facilitated by its passage. And, on the contrary, waiting for the endless rust of emotions and paints, the idealistic picture significantly reduces the chances of getting out of the "winter" in the new resource.
Another important point and the stone on the way to the ability to love is a pain that is the opposite side of the medal. If we close ourselves from pain, avoid it, we do not know how to live, turn into a great tragedy of life, then we close themselves from love, becoming plasticine. If you said sincere pain "Never", then you automatically closed yourself from love. To be able to live pain, do not take it into the state of trouble and drama - the great art of the female soul. This makes it possible to take the lives of big and varying, manifestations of people do not divide on bad and good, black and white, and bulk and alive. "Yes, I am ready to love, and I know that it may be hurt, but I choose to be alive and feel, rather than hiding from everything and deal." This is an important inner manifestation.
And finally, one more important key to art love is to see their reflection in the manifestations of the partner. Relationship is an incredibly honest mirror. It is in it that we see their points of growth. This is how our soul is developing. The main point of irritation in our partner is always the fact that I did not take in myself. This is an opportunity to see your own growth area, transform.
Love changes its forms and properties, striving for unconditional and adoption, and people who choose the path of development of their ability to love, get an incredible stock of beauty and taste of life.