To deal with the rules of a good rest we are helping stories from the life of vacationers and a family psychologist Denis Tokar.
Shilo on soap
Manager of the insurance company Katya Sh. It has long dreamed of seeing Italy. Having waited for a weekly vacation with holidays, she immediately bought a cherished sightseeing tour. The program was dense: seven days - seven cities. Every day the rise at 6 am, collecting a suitcase and loading bus. Development at least for a minute - outrage from the rest of the group of tourists. A few hours on the way, then all day on the legs. And late in the evening - unloading the suitcase and accommodation for the night at the hotel of the next city. It was physically very hard, but Katya tried nothing to miss anything: he visited all galleries and museums, inspected all the sights and visited all the excursions. And I also managed to run shopping in every city and buy gifts to yourself, family and colleagues. Katya was very pleased and full of impressions, but on the way back in the plane it became bad - the pressure jumped and the heart began to sleep. Once at home, she called a doctor. The doctor put her diagnosis of "overwork" and advised to take a week of hospital. Alas, from the work of Katya could leave exactly a week, and this week has already passed. I had to work through strength, swallowed pills and dreaming ... on vacation!
Why do we do that? It is believed that the change of the situation contributes to a good rest. This is true: responding to environmental change, our brain switches from the usual schemes and pictures to new, starts working in a different mode, which in itself is already freeing us from the "Everything has gotten" syndrome. Moreover, most of us, alas, lives in the mode of infinite traffic "Work - House - work". And even our weekend becomes similar to each other as "Surk Days". And if you are determined and rushed from the row of the middle strip somewhere into European capitals or African savannahs, you will already not succeed on Saturday's habit of spending the whole apartment, and visit the hypermarket and the grocery market on Sunday. However, hunting for Lviv, and admiring the treasures of world culture, it is important not to overdo it and not change "awl to soap."
Work on errors. The main mistake is in principle to forget that the vacation is needed for rest. If you are tired at home from the usual "ant syndrome" (work, wrapping, remove, walk - but what is my duties!), Then on long trips it is very easy to touch up from the "tourist syndrome" - to see, visit, take pictures ... But how do you think - when will I still find in these edges? We must not miss anything - this is my duty of a cultural person! As a result, you have photos of all monuments of medieval architecture or portraits of all Lviv Savannah - and you ourselves fall in a hotel room or in the reed bungalow. Is it necessary to say that in the native office you return with "Stallowed about the attractions of the legs" and healthy fatigue honestly fulfilling a person? And even with undermined health - as in the case of Katya. Your dream is only one - accommodate somewhere horizontally, motionless and in silence. Because in your ears, the risk of numerous guides and bleeding of exotic animals still intrusively ringing. And now to them to heap joined the opposite voice of the chef and the disgusting muttering of colleagues.
Wedge Wedge
Accountant Anatoly M. dedicated to vacation to the construction of a country house. For the first few days, he was very happy: before that, his hands did not reach the family "long-term", and so dreamed of everyone from the soul, with their own hands! Anatoly's wife also rejoiced: the employed owner went fast! But after a week, the households Anatolia did not become joy: first, the head of the family, while the roof was the roof, since the solar strike ... And then she backed up his back, tanic bricks. I had to urgently turn the construction and translate the "builder" to the beddown, where he spent the rest of the holiday. It is clear that the mood and well-being of the vacationer was hopelessly spoiled.
Why do we do that? It is the opinion that the best rest is a change of activity. If you usually do mental labor, it is best to relax and respond to the physical work. Conversely: if you normally stand at the machine, it is useful to write a toromik-other memoir on vacation. There is a rational grain in it: switching your attention and efforts from one type of activity to another, we can get the desired relax ... Unless, when trying to embroider a wedge with a wedge, we do not cross it - forgive us for the pun! For example, barely escaped due to the office table, we start with excitement to make repairs in the apartment. Or rebuild the country house. Or decide other everyday problems. And we do it with enthusiasm until we get into fact - there is no strength! Next can follow a sharp transition to another extreme: they burn everything in a blue flame, I will not do anything at all! In the most launched cases, an excessive diligence on the "second front" can even lead to depression: I don't want to do everything and I want anything.
Work on errors. Of course, all accumulated urgent cases also require our attention. Very often, we are simply vital to do everything and immediately, and in several places. But it is important to understand - this is not a rest. This is also a job, only another. Therefore, try not to "interfere with the cutlets and flies": if you are going to be a multi-page, then at least give yourself a report: you are not on vacation, you are on the adjacent plot. This means that for real rest you will need a separate time.
Full out
The personal assistant to the head of Anna S. had not only to explain with the boss for his protracted lack of in the workplace, but also to use medical insurance. Resting in Turkey, during a picnic on nature, with an abundance of alcohol Anya, argued with friends, which jumps down on the "Tarzanka" down the cliff. There was a bottle of champagne on Konou and, that was much more important for Ani, the attention of a pretty young man. The girl jumped and ... broke her leg! As a result, she had to extend his vacation for a week - and he did not hold it on the beach, and lying in the resort Lazarut. Yes, and the return ticket had to change - at his own expense, of course.
Why do we do that? Many believe: to relax well - you need to completely turn off the brains. Get out what is called, in full "out." And in something they need to be recognized, right. Not a gift with them, the yoga is solidarity, which are famous for their ability to complete relaxation: by their conviction, it is possible to achieve peace of rest, only throwing out absolutely all thoughts from the head. In addition, it is convenient: you can turn off the head at least at home, even in the resort, even in your own garden ... However, it is here that ambush lies. How calmly resting "without a tower", not risking to please in some unpleasant situation, in which they usually fall, removing your head?
Work on errors. Having dedicated to extreme holidays, we are absolutely hung on water skiing or surf, we melt along the river, cigarette with a parachute and plunge on the bottom ... Resting on the satisfying system "all inclusive", and sometimes just in the home "guest marathon", we turn into one A large and gefle stomach, which thoughtlessly and continuously stuffed with a calorie meal and strong drinks. Doring to shopping, we will extremally empty the wallet, and joining the resort fitness and spas - we kill on simulators, we melt in the solarium and decompose the procedures for atoms at all in a row. And how otherwise: after all, our head is in deserved vacation! And about the body that takes a blow to herself, at this moment you have a completely nothing to think. But the body is soon to work again! And how it will ask, will return there, if you completely deprived of his capacity?
Dancing with a sofa
Boris D. advertising agent was only one cherished desire - calm. It can be understood: Boris's work is associated with constant movements around the city, endless negotiations and constant communication with different people. Having left the long-awaited vacation, the advertising agent decided not to go anywhere, but to stay at home, in silence and rest. The first day Boris slept as killed. In the next couple of days, he could no longer fall asleep, but still honestly lay on the sofa, I looked at the holes of the TV and the ceiling, even I ordered food to the house ... What was his surprise, when by the end of the week - instead of the desired restoration of forces and mental lifting Recreation broke radiculitis and aggravated the ulcer of the stomach. To his honor, Boris immediately corrected, the benefit was able to walk all 28 days, put on the schedule. For the remaining time, the vacationer has rushed to the country's country sanatorium.
Why do we do that? It is known that full physical relaxation contributes to a full-fledged holiday. However, try a week to lie still on the sofa - and you will make sure that they do not rest at all! In addition, you will probably overcome insomnia. Joke Lee: a whole day to lie down, and then also sleep! And here is a healthy and strong dream - just the basic condition for the rest for our body. The theorem "sofa + TV = rest", alas, until no one has proven. Proven just inverse: immobility for a person is not the norm. And may cause aggravation of chronic ailments - as happened to Boris. And the effective restoration of spiritual and physical forces contributes to the competent alternation of optimal physical activity with periods of physical relaxation.
Work on errors. Indicating sofa exercises, we completely forget that only units (and those yoga) are capable of complete, rejuvenating and reviving about life, and the status of Michael Jackson, allowing himself to rest in the oxygen chamber, and we have not yet predetermined. With its own amateurant lying without a movement, we can earn ourselves only that bad mood, sleep disruption and numbness of the limbs. And then also breakdown.
Hunt for change ... cute!
When the relationship with her husband became completely unbearable, Olya K. took a vacation at work at his own expense and waved to Greece. She is so tired of family scandals, which could no longer and did not want to understand why the spouse constantly "saws". Before the hot loved one, the husband became so annoying Olya that she did not want to not only enter his position, but even could not even see him. Yes, he has difficulties at work. And she, being a professional actress, often absent evenings and cannot fully engage in the economy and child. Yes, instead it makes his mother, which, apparently, drips his son to the brains ... But how is it all tired! Olya met a compatriot in the Greek resort, for several years younger than himself. A stormy resort novel broke out between them. The young man was so fun and careless that Olya had forgotten with him next to him, except entertainment. Sex they also had a squeezed ... But, oddly enough, by the end of the holidays, Olya missed her husband. And that even more strange - I experienced the desire to talk to him in souls. Perhaps pleasant frivolity and cloudless cheerfulness of the resort beloved brought a lady for the idea that almost every man will come to lovers, but there is no life in satellites. Anyway, with the lover they broke up with friends, and returning home, Olya quickly established relations with his spouse. According to her own recognition, she seemed to have a second breath, and the situation in the family stopped seeing such hopeless.
Why do we do that? Treason - the word in itself is unpleasant and is considered to be dishonest. "The resort novel" sounds much more preferable. Moreover, no one generation of men and women clearly proved: like poison in small doses there may be a medicine and marital infidelity (without far-reaching consequences) may once be needed both. Sexologists confirm: both at the exemplary couple, and the most passionate lovers once inevitably comes the moment when the heat of feelings is not the same, and the relationship becomes smooth and boring. We can do anything: so conceived by nature. And some psychologists do not even deny the benefit of the "episodic polygamy" - so according to scientificly called a periodic instruction of the horns.
Work on errors. Some are humble with inevitable mutual cooling and continue to live together on the principle of "Friendly Union based on mutual non-intervention." Others - those that are more active - the old connections are ruthlessly roasted and the heads are thrown into the Out of new passions. But there is a third way - to competently refresh the existing relationships. Here you will come in handy a resort novel. However, it is pushing on vacation adventures, it is important to clearly understand what you actually achieve. If you want to just rip the existing family, the big mind is not necessary here - are going and leave. While the subtle task of "artificial respiration" for a feast of the adolescence of a marital love requires much more skill. After all, treason does not always mean betraying a loved one, tons of noodles on once beloved ears, hurried sex in someone else's territory, and then long and tedious notice of traces. And as a logical end is an inevitable failure, mutual insults, throwing dishes in the head, court, divorce and maiden name. Do not consider the provocation, but if you choose the hero of your resort novel, keep all the safety rules and find the strength not to get carried away, but simply have a good time, your summer adventure will not lead to the final discontinuity, and to the second breath in your former marriage or Love Union.
How to enter the resort novel and get out of it
(5 safety regulations in order to avoid crushing consequences):
one. Try to choose a person decent, who, in case of anything, will not pursue or blackmail. How to do it? First, take a look at a new acquaintance, talk to them and listen to your intuition. If your chosen one or chosen seems to you aggressive, dissatisfied with life or mercenary, do not bind at all. Also avoid those who do not hide their hopes to make a serious long-term relationship with you.
2. At the very beginning, in order to interest the potential partner, you can behave as you pleased. Relax while you are absolutely nothing to reproach. Flirt is not yet treason. But it is he who brings us a maximum of pleasant emotions. Extend your flirt without moving to sex - as much as your vacation allows. Let there be compliments and languid views, pleasant surprises and romantic dinners, promising gestures and foggy hints. You will not regret: this game is worth the candle and shakes both sides equally. The main thing is nothing gross, offensive, straight or vulgar.
3. Of course, the nightingale fables are not fed, and long you will not be filled with one glances and sighs. Now your main task is to get a maximum of pleasure at a minimum risk. Try to protect yourself not only physically, but also morally. Frankly discuss with partner protection issues, and in no case hide your real family status. It is better to play open in the open, so that then no one has bitter disappointments. If possible, get rid of the fault complex: convince yourself that everything is happening - oddly enough it sounds - you need to strengthen your existing marriage.
four. During the resort novel, try not to remember every second of your permanent partner left at home, and not to make comparisons - nor in his favor, nor the opposite. Fully open the fresh emotions and new impressions. Remember: All this idea needs you to gain peace forces to resolve relationships waiting for you at home. Therefore, your task is to be maximally recharged from your resort visor's positive emotions, shake and get rid of the negative accumulated by the time of vacation. Perceive your momentary passion as a pleasant addition to rest - but no more. Imagine, for example, that your current hobby is the resort spa procedure, the original fitness technique or the massage interior service. Let the fact that your partner will appreciate you as much - because you immediately agreed that there are no far-reaching plans between you and can not be. And your legal satellite of life is a person for whom you can and need to fight, because the family is not built overnight. And it is emerging most often not in the moments of sweet idleness, but by large emotional labor, and two people immediately. And the results of such labor should appreciate and protect.
five. And so, nothing left before the departure. Now is the time to turn your mental look at the one who is waiting for you at home. Get ready for the meeting, and customize yourself on a date the most joyful and stormy. What still is the temptation to love the resort passion for the rest of his life? Then think about the second: it is here a cloudless sky, the blue sea and white sand, and there, houses - tedious life, eternal problems and an eight-hour working day. And remember that we are there next to the old as the world scenario of married betrayal? Correctly: Sea Lies, Double Life, Searches for empty apartments, cottages or renting hotel rooms. Family scandals, tears, justification, followed by divorce and (if lucky) Building a family with a new partner ... In which mutual cooling will also come later. Do you all need it? Then rather thank your resort passion for your pleasure, gently kiss the cheek and ... forget forever! If you take into account item number 1, you will certainly meet the understanding of the other side and you will be satisfied with each other. And if you take into account points 3 and 4, then, most likely, the ardent novel awaits you at home ... with your own legitimate half! Just do not forget immediately upon arrival to pass all the tests for sex infections - so, just in case.
Goulai by phase!
This is an axiom, proven by doctors and psychologists, although many of us do not know her. According to human biorhythms and the peculiarities of the climate of our country, the organisms of all of us are operated without exception according to certain seasonal phases.
Start of September - mid-February: Phase of high activity. During this period, you are at the peak of the form and is able to work much and effectively (provided that, of course, that in the summer you managed to rest and you did not care for fresh fruit vegetables).
Mid-February - End of March: Hard period. The body requires a passage, and if there is such an opportunity, it is better to take a piece of vacation.
End of March - beginning of July: phase of normal activity. Feats are not foreseen, but your body is able to function consistently in normal operating mode.
Mid-July - end of August: The period of natural recession. It, of course, may not be if, for example, in June, you managed to relax perfectly. But normally, in the last month of summer, most of us the body requires stopping and refueling with rest.