Many of us went in childhood only by sidewalks, not advancing the clefts between them, we went to the side of the black cat and a woman with an empty bucket ... Children's superstitions are over, but sometimes strange habits remain in adulthood.
Check whether the door is locked 10 times.
It is obsessively monitor that the car is on alarm, although it is obvious.
The inability to fall asleep while in the sink dirty plate.
The growing sense of anxiety, if you forgot the phone at home and there is no possibility to quickly view social networks.
And even famous selfie! Need to shoot yourself, food and drinks, the color of the new nail polish, and then lay it out in Instagram.
All this is strange habits and rituals who are woven into our life completely unnoticed. But it's not so easy to get rid of them. With a forced refusal of these rituals, the alarm and fears are becoming quite strong and even intolerable. The thing is that such rituals allow you to structure our lives. In psychology, this is called obsessive state syndrome. We do something with obsessive constancy, because it makes our life defined, simple. But in fact, we are experiencing fear before life is unpredictable and uncontrolled.
People who are painfully experiencing such fear, the desire to create clear life programs, to build plans for a far-reaching future, all obey the control and a certain sequence of actions. A sharp and spontaneous change of action causes shocks and attacks of anxiety, anger and panic.
It is impossible to fight with such feelings. It is also impossible for logical arguments to dissuade a person not to check for a hundred times, whether the iron is turned off or whether the front door is closed. In the case when the alarm is strong, it is absolutely not amenable to managing our consciousness.
Researchers in the field of disturbing disorders suggest that such symptoms are not at all talking about human abnormality. They simply indicate strong fear and anxiety that are not realized. These feelings, of course, are not directly related to the subjects of anxiety, they relate to any field of life in which the sense of control is lost. For example, fear of aging and fading, loss of sexuality and attractiveness, inability to be a good parent for their children.
Often obsessive habits are a symptom of an old psychic injury, as a result of which a person comes to unconscious conclusion that the world is dangerous, and you can wait for the blow at any time. Therefore, rituals and habits are a way to cope with their fears, with a feeling of loss of control and constant threat from outside.
It is impossible to get rid of fears and tune in to the best when all our unconscious is filled with this experience. The best way to reduce the alarm is to start watching it and talk about your fears. This will make feelings less sharp and excavating, gain support among your surroundings. You can also try to determine what other areas of your life are permeated with fear. What urgent questions that require solutions cause panic and anxiety. Awareness is the key to healing and real liberation from rituals and habits.
Maria Dyachkova (Zemskova), Psychologist, Family Therapist and Leading Training Personal Growth of the Mary Khazin Training Center