Impilo akuyona amaholide omndeni kuphela kanye nezinhlelo zokuvelela, kepha namanje impilo, izingane, umsebenzi, ukwehluleka, ukukhathala, abantu abanobuthi.
Lokhu kuyiqiniso esiphila kulo futhi, sifuna noma cha, kepha kufanele sihlanganyele, sithathe futhi siyeke amandla amahle.
"I-" com "engabonakali, ehlanganisa amavoti, imizwa ecindezelekile, ukunganeliseki, okungabizi, ukuqongelela, kufinyelela i-apogee. Ngenxa yalokhu, ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi kukhula kube yinto yangaphandle - "ukuqhuma".
Ukungqubuzana kuyingozi ekuchumeni kobunye ubudlelwano nomndeni ikakhulukazi. Amandla okugcina ubukhona bangempela bese ukhetha endaweni enjalo yesitayela esifanele sokuxhumana kuyisihluthulelo sokulondolozwa kobudlelwano. Indlela ephuma engxabanweni ngokulahleka okuncane kobungqabavu nokulimala kuyi-psyche kanye nomsebenzi oqinile. Uma kunesidingo, ungaxhumana nomuntu njalo onguchwepheshe. Noma yikuphi ukungaqondani, ukungaboni ngaso linye kudingeka kuxazululwe engxoxweni, kubhekwe imingcele, ikhuluma ngokukhululekile futhi iqonde.
Futhi uma abalingani bekhetha ukungazinaki isikhundla nokuthula.
UMLAYEZO: "Ngiyezwa mina kuphela", "Ngizibeka ngaphandle kwalombhangqwana" kazakhi indawo enhle yokususa ukuxabana kwangaphandle kanye nokulahlekelwa kwangaphakathi kanye nokulahlekelwa amandla kanye nezinsizakusebenza.
Ngasikhathi sinye, umlingani uhola into eyodwa kuphela - hhayi ukunikeza "i-slack". Ubudlelwano buphenduka libe yibhalodohead yomzabalazo wamandla lapho kungenzeki ukukhombisa ubungozi bayo futhi wenze imvumelwano.
UMariana Veratax-Volskaya, isazi sezengqondo psychoanalystst.
Lapho kuholela khona? Usuvele uyaqonda.
Ukungaboni ngaso linye ku-pair akunakugwenywa. Ngamunye unohlelo lwayo lwamanani, izinkolelo, izici zomlingisi. Imfundo ephakathi nendawo, izinkambiso zenhlalo, izimo zabazali kanye nokulimala kokulimala kwengqondo, isipiliyoni esinqwabelene sihlehlisela ukufakwa ekuhlolweni kwethu okwenzekayo nokukhetha isinqumo.
Yini ebalulekile?
Embhangwini ophilile ngokwengqondo kufanele abe yithuba elikubili hhayi ukukhuluma kuphela, kodwa futhi nalo lizwakale, alizange lihlaselwe futhi lenqatshwe. Lapho-ke, ngeke kube nezingqinamba nemithetho yangaphakathi yokwenziwa kwengxoxo eyakhayo. Ukuthula ngeke kuphenduke ukuhlukunyezwa kwengqondo.
Uzakwethu okuthengiwe Ukusuka kolunye "udonga" lokuthula okucasulayo, kuvame ukungakwazi ukuxazulula umbuzo omkhulu ngokwabo - "Ingabe ukulungele ukuba yingxenye yombhangqwana?" Futhi kusukela kulokhu kuyacasula kakhulu.
Uphoqelekile ukuthi agcine ibanga. Inezinkinga futhi idala usongo. Isidingo esiyisisekelo sokuphepha, ukwesaba ukungaziwa nokungaqiniseki kobuchopho "izingxabano" futhi kukhipha isimo sengqondo somunye umlingani, siletha esigabeni esihle kakhulu kwi-neurosis.
Isikhundla: "Anginakho nawe, kepha hhayi ngokwahlukana" akukuvumeli ukuthi uzizwe ngokoqobo, ukuze uphile futhi ube ngomzuzu wamanje wesikhathi. Imizwa ye-vacuum, egcwele izinsolo, ukwesaba kanye nemibuzo akunikezi ngokweqiniso umlingani futhi ngokwanele ukuhlola isimo sayo nokuthi kwenzekani nxazonke.
Endaweni ukusho ukuthi lokhu kunesinye sezindlela zodlame lwezengqondo - gazlating. Umgomo wakhe ukuphoqa omunye ukungabaza ngokwanela kokubonwa kwakhe komhlaba, ngakho-ke ngenxa yalokho uqobo lwaso. Imiphumela iyaqondakala ... kudabukisa.
Kumele kwaziwe ukuthi ukuthula kungahlali kuze kube phakade. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukuthula kuvunyelwa "ukuqubuka" kwentukuthelo yokulunga - ukusabela kohlangothi 'ngezigcawu zemishado ezihlambalazayo kanye nokumangalela.
Ngani?
Eqinisweni, kungumzamo 'wokushaya udonga' lokuthula nganoma yiziphi izindleko. Hlukana nezikhali zakhe, umenze asabele - noma impendulo izoba yimbi.
Ngakho-ke, izindima zidlala ezimweni zabo: Isisulu sithatha imithetho yomdlalo obekelwe umhlukumezi. Ubudlelwano bugcina buphenduka "inkundla yempi" lapho abantu sebevele besezinhlangothini ezihlukile zemishado.
Inyunyana lapho umuntu ekhuluma khona, kanye nesibili esikhanyisiwe (asilaleli) siyayeka ukuthuthukisa! Le yindlela eyodwa.
Imvamisa, umlingani ovulekile ngokwengeziwe akamelana ne- "dompompless" futhi, "ekhathele," kushiya inkundla yempi - iya ekuphepheni komhlatshelo.
Ngeke sikhiphe ngokuphelele inketho yokuthi enye izoyicabanga, izofunda ukuvula, ukwenza ukuyekethisa. Ezimweni eziningi, lokhu akwenzeki. Indaba izophindwa 'njengetshe elibi "ebudlelwaneni obulandelayo. Uma evame ukunquma ukuthi futhi bangumbuzo omkhulu.