Before we continue to sleep, remember what we already were on the pages of this column: about the fact that we have the flows, processes and feelings of our family. We just think that everyone in itself. In fact, we are boiled in a soup called "Family unconscious". And even with the most frankly unpleasant Navar, even a devastating, part of us will strive for the relationship with this unconscious, as this is our source. This source helps us to perceive life and yourself in it, we want it or not. In psychology, this process is called marital loyalty. In addition, we are loyal not only to the family as a whole, and also see our special similarity with someone. Often loyalty can be found, noticing that we live like our mother, for example. We give birth as many children and at about the same age as she. Divide as she, learn, even sick the same as she. Sometimes loyalty is harder to detect, as it is from the opposite. Mom all life with one man - I'm a snobble hundred! Mom loves children and wants grandchildren, and I am Child-fries. Mom soft and kind, and I am a bitch. But if you look at, all this is simply the "shadow side of life" Mom. This is a confrontation with her lifestyle, with her beliefs and positions. And women are struggling with this not to detect themselves exactly like their mother.
And now sleep:
"Beautiful terrain, green hills, clean blue sky. I say mom:" Fly? " And we began to soar in the air, I enjoyed the scenery and peace. Stopped at the cliff. Behind the wide river, there was bad luck on the other shore, I felt something else, not that danger and realized that I did not want to there. I suggested my mother to go home. And she silently agreed. The house resembled the old noble, where they organized a holiday home. Passing through the halls, corridors and stairs, I saw a lot of people. Everything was calm, friendly, everyone was engaged in his work. But the rooms were busy. And here the words are born: "I got into the world of the dead." I felt that my mother was tired and no longer wants to look for my home, I took it on my hands. And again the search did not give anything, I was in confusion. At the same time, my mother on my hands decreased to the size of the child Also began to be impatient and even irritation. I was completely confused. How to get home? And then the young man gives a note, I try to read words, I do not understand what is written. He translates: "I'm I'm starting to repeat, rhythmically like slogan. I am with pain in my head and back.
Sleepy dream is beautiful as long as it is transparent. Mom is near, as a faithful companion, as the witness of the life of the dreams. At some stage, the dream discovers that her mother is "tired" to be near, and she herself is tired of looking for their place in life and a place for mom. There are no rooms in the house, and this is the house of the dead. Mom is tired, perhaps the place of mom has long been in the world of the dead. And the dreams tried to "revive" his mother - to carry her with himself. In fact, Mom is already waiting for her to let her go to their work, like other residents of the rooms in the world of the dead.
An interesting signal - as mom has become a child. Perhaps this reflects the attitude towards your mother in fact that by the end of life they changed the roles of a mother's daughter. This occurs, alas, quite often. Children become parents of their parents, starting to perform behavior that is typical when careing for a child: Entertain, patronize, love, pamper. It may be so unbelievable to see how fading the beloved parent, to distract himself and him from thoughts about fading, children are included on the full in entertainment and improving parents to "persuate" parents to stay with them.
Well, the finale of sleep is beautiful. In the note it is written: "I am me." There are such "prayers" in many psychotherapeutic approaches: "I am me, and I can only live for myself, only this opportunity I have." This means that, despite loyalty and contact with the family, I have a unique personal experience, I and only that part of life that belongs to me. No one else. And only I can determine how I live her. This is already philosophy, not even psychology. It seems so simple, but it is not so easy to execute. In the ways of family relations, we live for someone, for someone, in the name of someone, skipping the moment that my own life at that very moment becomes irrevocably shorter. And return, cancel or start first it will not work.
It seems that our dreamy said herself that she had only her life for sure and lives. This is truly sobering, healing and existential moment of her life, albeit in a dream. Now it's about how she embodies it in his life in reality.
And what dreams of you? Examples of your dreams send by mail: [email protected]. By the way, dreams are much easier to express if in a letter to the editor you will write preceding life circumstances, but most importantly - feelings and thoughts at the time of awakening from this dream.
Maria Dyachkova, PSYCHOLOGIST, Family therapist and leading trainings of personal growth Training center Marika Khazin