Mbere yuko dusinzira, ibuka ibyo tumaze kuba kumpapuro ziyi nkingi: kubyerekeye kuba dufite ibitereko, inzira n'umuryango wacu. Turatekereza gusa ko abantu bose ubwayo. Mubyukuri, twatetse mumasupu twitwa "umuryango utagira ubwenge". Ndetse nubwo hamwe na Navar idashimishije cyane, ndetse no kubangiza, igice cyacu kizaharanira umubano nibitagira ubwenge, nkuko ibi ari isoko yacu. Iyi soko idufasha kumenya ubuzima kandi ubwawe muri yo, turabishaka cyangwa tutabishaka. Muri psychologiya, iyi nzira yitwa ubudahemuka bwabashakanye. Byongeye kandi, turi abizerwa ntabwo turi mu miryango muri rusange, kandi tukabona isano rwihariye numuntu. Akenshi usanga ubudahemuka burashobora kuboneka, kubona ko tubaho nka mama. Tubyara nkabana benshi kandi hafi yimyaka. Mugabanye igihe we, wige, ndetse urwaye kimwe na we. Rimwe na rimwe, ubudahemuka buragoye kubimenya, nkuko bikomoka mubinyuranye. Mama ubuzima bwose hamwe numuntu umwe - Ndi ijana! Mama akunda abana kandi ashaka abuzukuru, kandi ndi ifiriti y'abana. Mama yoroshye kandi agwa neza, kandi ndi igituba. Ariko nureba, ibi byose ni "igicucu cyubuzima" mama. Ibi ni guhangana nubuzima bwe, imyizerere ye nimyanya. Kandi abagore barwana nibi ntibabimenya neza nka nyina.
Noneho gusinzira:
"Ubutaka bwiza, imisozi miremire, isuku ikirere cyubururu. Ndavuga mama ati:" Furuka? " Twatangiye kurekura mu kirere, nishimiye ibyiza n'amahoro. Yahagaze ku rutare. Inyuma y'uruzi rugari, hari amahirwe ku rundi ruhande, ntabwo nigeze mbona ko ntabishaka Kuriyo. Nasabye mama gutaha. Arabyemera bucece. Inzu yasaga n'inzu, kosenya, nkoma, byose byari bituje, Nshuti, abantu bose bagize uruhare mu mirimo ye. Ariko ibyumba byari bihuze. Kandi hano amagambo yavutse: "Nagiye mu isi y'abapfuye." Numvaga mama ananiwe kandi ntagishaka gushaka urugo rwanjye, Nabifashe mu ntoki. Kandi na none ubushakashatsi ntacyo yatanze, nari mu rujijo. Muri icyo gihe, nari mu maboko yanjye na we wagabanutse ko ntanze kutihangana ndetse no kurakara. Nari umushyitsi rwose Urujijo. Nigute wagera murugo? Hanyuma umusore atanga inyandiko, ndagerageza gusoma amagambo, sinumva ibyanditswe. Yahinduye ati: "Ndimo ndatangira gusubiramo, inva nziza. Ndi umubabaro mumutwe wanjye ninyuma.
Inzozi zisinziriye ni nziza igihe cyose aricyo gifatika. Mama ari hafi, nk'abagenzi wizerwa, nkumutangabuhamya wubuzima bwinzozi. Mubyiciro runaka, inzozi zivumbuye ko nyina "ananiwe" kuba hafi, kandi na we ubwe arambiwe gushaka umwanya wabo mubuzima n'ahantu Mama. Nta cyumba kiri mu nzu, kandi iyi ni yo nzu y'abapfuye. Mama ararushye, ahari aho abamamara kuva kera babayeho mwisi y abapfuye. Kandi inzozi zagerageje "kubyutsa" nyina - kumutwara wenyine. Mubyukuri, Mama yamaze kumutegereza ngo areke ajye mu kazi kabo, kimwe n'abandi baturage b'ibyumba ku isi y'abapfuye.
Ikimenyetso gishimishije - nkuko mama yabaye umwana. Ahari ibi birerekana imyifatire kuri nyoko mubyukuri kugirango ubuzima bwubuzima bwahinduye inshingano z'umukobwa wa nyina. Ibi bibaho, ishyano, akenshi. Abana bahinduka ababyeyi b'ababyeyi babo, batangira gukora imyitwarire isanzwe mugihe wita ku mwana: kwinezeza, gukunda, urukundo, gutobora. Birashobora gushidikanya kugirango turebe uburyo ashira umubyeyi ukundwa, arirangaza na we mubitekerezo bijyanye no kwidagadura no kuzamura abantu "kwemeza ababyeyi" kubana kugirango bakomeze nabo.
Nibyiza, kurangiza ibitotsi ni byiza. Mu nyandiko byanditswe ngo: "Ndi njye." Hariho "amasengesho" muri psychotherapeutic yegeranye: "Ndi njye, kandi ndashobora gusa kuba wenyine, aya mahirwe mfite." Ibi bivuze ko, nubwo ari ubudahemuka no guhura numuryango, mfite uburambe budasanzwe, njye kandi gusa muri njye mubuzima bwanjye. Nta wundi. Kandi gusa ndashobora kumenya uko mbaho. Ibi bimaze kuba filozofiya, ntabwo na psychologiya. Birasa nkaho byoroshye, ariko ntabwo byoroshye gukora. Mu nzira z'umubano wumuryango, tubaho kumuntu, kumuntu, mwizina ryumuntu, gusiba mugihe ubuzima bwanjye kuriwo umwanya nyine bihinduka bidasubirwaho. Hanyuma ugaruke, guhagarika cyangwa utangire mbere ntabwo bizakora.
Bigaragara ko inzozi zacu zavuze ko yari afite ubuzima bwe kubwibyo kandi akabaho. Ibi rwose biratangaje, gukira kandi bibaho mubuzima bwe, nubwo mu nzozi. Noneho ni uburyo ashushanya mubuzima bwe mubyukuri.
Kandi ni izihe nzorora? Ingero z'inzozi zawe zohereza na Mail: [email protected]. By the way, inzozi zoroshye cyane kwerekana niba mu ibaruwa yandikiwe umwanditsi uzandika ibintu bibanziriza ubuzima, ariko ingenzi cyane - ibyiyumvo n'ibitekerezo mugihe cyo gukanguka kuva kuriyi nzozi.
Maria Dyachkova, umuganga wa psychologue, umuvuzi wumuryango, amahugurwa yambere yibikorwa byimikurire yimyidagaduro Marika Khazin