Do you think that you are a fault, which has not reached anything to the age of "forty plus"? Relationships do not fold, career is not laid, business does not develop? Everything disappeared, are you late and do not fix anything? Do not rush. It is very possible that you are just the "man of the second half of life." It is so called people whose life blooms in adulthood. As the heroine of the film "Moscow does not believe in tears", after forty life just begins. At this time, the people of the second half of life successfully get married, develop a business and get good income, discover new talents and abilities and give birth to children.
Kim Catroll all his life was an actress, beautiful and ambitious. Alas, the roles were getting frankly passing. By forty years, she lost hope of success - in Hollywood, the women of her age by this time had already completed his career.
Joan Rowling dedicated her youth to care for a seriously sick mother, then rashly married his home tyrant, and thirty with one embarrassment of a child for a tiny social allowance and seriously thought about suicide.
Vera Wong 17 years worked as the editor of the fashion department in the "Vogue", and, in general, was pleased with his life - a good decent career, albeit without a "light", compensated for the lack of personal life in forty.
You know what happened next. Kim received the role of Samantha in "Sex in the Big City". Joan wrote Harry Potter. Faith fell in love and decided herself to come up with a wedding dress herself. It was only the beginning - for each of them.
Accident? Not at all. There are a lot of such people "late ignition". Bright, active, enthusiastic - they refute traditional ideas about what it should be achieved and what should be completed to a certain age. However, these traditional performances today are already outdated. Psychologists and sociologists state: there is no longer old age - no word of such nor the concept. The sad usual scheme "youth - maturity - old age" is no longer relevant, now we are talking about two halves of life, each of which is interesting and saturated in its own way.
Streotypes of the survival. For you, everyone has already been planned - when to finish the university, get married, give birth to a child, to achieve career success ... You like our best to meet expectations. But it is impossible to argue, it is impossible to argue, and time runs too fast. And one day you freeze at the turn, for which, according to your ideas, begins "descent from the mountain." At 40, 45, 50, you look back and with bitterness state: you tried very much, but I did not have time and could hardly be able to.
And here it makes sense to ask himself calmly: what exactly, actually, I did not have time? And - Can I somehow do it somehow? Or - Does I really want this today?
Everyone did not manage to anyone else and should not be greedy. But you have experience, and the ability to be grateful to him - a sign of mature wisdom. If any niche of your life is not yet busy, it does not mean that you are "twin", it means that you just solved other tasks. And now you can return to unfinished - learn the language, get married or give birth to a child (by the way, one of my client, making an excellent career, aged five children at the age of 42!).
Do not come true dreams? Let after forty you do not dance the main ballet party on the stage of the professional theater, but does it mean that it is necessary to turn away from poentes, rubing tears? Perhaps an unfulfilled professional dream may well be implemented at the amateur level. Of course, something really do not have time and not able to be objectively. But this "Something" does not exhaust all life. Zaky - and you will find a new goal.
The lack of noticeable success in the main spheres of life is not necessarily a sign of immaturity. Perhaps you are the type of "accelerating locomotive", all this time only stuck speed. There is such a term: "Hungry role." This is what a person certainly needs to be done, and he feels it all the creature. It is impossible to ignore this, and the second half of life is the time for the "hungry role."
Kim Catherol experienced the strongest need for acting, and in twenty years of training to this was added troubled skill. Joan Rowling came up with the adventures of Harry Potter to any free minute, leaving the imaginary world, thought out to the smallest detail. Vera Wong dreamed of how to marry, and imagined the perfect wedding dress from which her brilliant career of a fashion designer began. In fact, you just need to allow yourself to deal with the fact that you are truly important, and an amazing way for this will have both strength and resources. You know, as they say: "In 25 genius can be any. In 50 for this you already need to do something. "
Are you ready for this? And anyway somewhere inside the worm of doubt and anxiety move. What will people say? Will health allow? And can I afford it? What are you older, the more fears. You never know what psychologists say, you never know how they are spectacularly disposed of their second half of the life "Stars" - where are they and where are we? You won't go against old age, it causally lies around the corner. You perceive the digit "50" as "Zero" on the roulette - the conventional date of the end.
The well-known foundations here are definitely there. Pure physiology: At this age, the extinction of reproductive functions automatically translates the woman in the rank of not interesting for men. It was difficult to adopt our great-grandmother, it is difficult for us now - it is not so easy to cancel generation memory. And if you take any famous classic work - in order to grab the head: all these "forty-male old women" and "Ladies of Balzakovsky age" (at thirty years!) ... Stop. It's time to remember, "what, cute, we have thousands of thousands in the yard." Did you never know what was there before? Previously, people died from appendicitis and a banal cold, and the average life expectancy was Monsterly Mala. What is the point of looking at the stereotypes of the past?
Today the woman has a choice. It can take natural aging, and can take advantage of the achievements of medicine and overgrow age changes for years. Maybe in horror chain, believing that all the main stages of women's life "Girl - a girl - a woman", and the last - "old woman" remained ahead. And it may realize that the signs of this stage are not wrinkles and increasing weakness, but the status, experience, internal freedom and new interaction opportunities with the world. All our fears, in fact, originate in outdated myths.
Myth first. Soon I will not be healthy and strong, my mind will make up and my body.
- Health and forces do not end automatically on the figure, for example, "50". They will decline exactly when you yourself assign a cut-off, for which you have the right to fatigue and illness, and when you perceive life as an emulsion marathon.
So here. Health and Forces remain with you for a long time, when the rest line from the "heavy everyday life" moved into consciousness as far away as possible when the work is a fascinating journey to study their capabilities, and not just the source of the income and the catorga that needs to be left. Health and forces with you when you start to save and multiply them before the "50" tries when your body is not an inexhaustible resource, but an object of your attention, love and care. They are added when you have an idea of the head and make it elements in your everyday life when you do not forget to feed and develop your intellectual baggage.
Myth second. I will not be so attractive as before.
Actually: Yes, you will not. But there is also good news: today it is fashionable to be natural and well-groomed at its age, maturity in all its manifestations (sexual, personal, professional) has become one of the most attractive features of a modern man. The number of fitness studios, programs for correction of the figure and weight, proposals from cosmetic companies are huge: everyone can find a way to change in itself what is not like, and continue to walk through life in consent.
Myth Third. I have no need to follow myself, it will come down. I am no more interesting for anyone, my time is gone.
Actually: All of you congratulate you with the "Round Date", wish all sorts of benefits, give anti-aging cream ... You smile, thank, and the wave of anger rises in the soul. Everything seems fake: young easy to congratulate, they still do not understand, the chief is smiling, and tomorrow will change on a young specialist, she still doesn't look like that ... Own anxiety generates suspicion and anger that absorb the inner resource and time, selecting them Such useful actions as zoom and adequate plans for the future. Moreover, the fear and anger sometimes have a paralyzing action: since I am old, now I will not do anything with me, and I will "come out" down to expect attacks of age, diseases, wrinkles ...
Meanwhile, whatever your character, the lifeless or dull, the rule of life "Each action / inaction has consequences" it will not cancel, which means there is always a choice. You can listen to those who claim that sport, active lifestyle and competent care for themselves raise the tone and prolong the full life, follow their advice and get their bonus. And you can talk tragically that "All this nonsense does not cancel death," stop watching himself and collapse in anticipation of the end. Anyone at a certain age is familiar with a sharp feeling of resentment and annoyance for life: "My desires are so young, why does the body bring so?!". And the output from the problem is there in the same place, where and the entrance: Take the body.
Do you feel a lack of motivation? Look around: someone inspires the achievements of other people (look for interesting interviews and blogs, and maybe there is a person in your immediate environment that meets your life on your questions?), Someone is good books and movies (remember soft humor Larisa Rubalazskaya : "I'm worse than yesterday, but better than I will"). Look for your motivator - and return yourself the joy of full life.
Myth fourth. I am worse now than it was. That's when I was young, it was beautiful. And now…
Actually: We all have the idealization of the past. But in this case it turns into an excuse of his own laziness: they say that it was - do not return, so what to try. But let's think about what I would like to return. Was there anything rainbow? Successful mature people who have asked if they want to return to their twenty, they answered "no!". But, it would seem, there were all the advantages - youth, the strength and flexibility of the body, attractive appearance, the chain of the mind and optimistic hopes ... And yet a mature person chooses accumulated knowledge, awarded experience and freedom that he gives. And the past ... Well, we do not renounce him at all, on the contrary. Just take from it and transfer to the present ability to dream and build plans, believe and love life.
Myth fifth. Every time, our elder - and enough ... It is necessary to behave decently - in the framework of a quiet measured life.
Actually: Social stereotypes prescribe us only a few of the roles of roles. Mom and grandmother - in the family. Mistress-daccizer, endlessly occupied by preservation. Housewife and nurse. As a last resort, it is permissible to walk with friends at the exhibitions and to the conservatory ... But stereotypes are existing to break them. Regarding the right to your own active second half of life.
Of course, all your life roles of the "senior" - Mom, Grandma, mother-in-law, mother-in-law, - will remain with you. But even on this field, you can choose which mom and grandmother you will be a cozy zoom or a young and active eldest friend.
Having released children in adulthood, the field of their own lives should be seeded by the seeds of new hobbies, the ideas of career promotion or changes in the field of activity, leisure plans. At the same time, the more new people you let in your life, the greater the crop we will collect in the form of a circle of communication, which means that the emergence of new interests and plans. However, perhaps you just want to be alone with you, with books, creativity and your own home ... The main thing is to maintain balance in relations with others. You are still the main character of your life, and not the performer of the role of the second plan in someone else.
"Stars" and the most ordinary people living with us next to us every day show what bright and complete can be the second half of life. If you decide, if you affect yourself. But here, do not rush to do the newly necessary goal in the framework of the new stereotype. The true value of this time is that you should not have anything to anyone. In order to feel like a man of the second half of life, it is not necessary to rush to the feats - to climb on the rocks, put on pointes or sculpt pots. The point is not in acts worthy perpetuating in the blog and confirming your stay in trend. The main thing - it is to realize that there is still a lot of time ahead, but in stock at the same time - the advantages of experience that will allow calmly and measured, without a rush and rush to finally achieve everything.
You worked a lot, you survived a lot. And you know who you are now? You are Cinderella, finally hitting the ball. Let it later expected. But your ball is here. You deserve. Dance!