Kwiminyaka yobudala ndidubule igumbi elinommelwane, ibhinqa elidala kunam kangangeminyaka engama-20, eliye lathanda ukwenza iimephu zetarot. Elinye igumbi ladutyulwa ngenye intombazana, i-peer yam enencasa enkulu ye-silicone kunye nelemile eyandisiweyo yeHalorone, eyayihlala iceliwe ukuba ihlawule emadodeni yakhe. Yayinengxaki yobudlelwane kwaoko ngamadoda amabini atshatileyo kwaye emva kokuba iiseshoni zokwahlula-hlula zilungelelanise imiboniso yesaqhwithi kwifowuni, umphumo wokuba i-vefume okanye ezantsi emhlophe. Ithamsanqa elithetha nge-teller lancoma intombazana ukuba inesibindi kunye nesimo esomeleleyo, emva koko babhiyozela uloyiso, besela ekhitshini.
Ummelwane wakholelwa ngokunyaniseka kubunyani bezinto zakhe eziqikelekileyo kwaye bezibuza rhoqo. Ngengxelo ethile ndaphawula ukuba sele egqibile ukutyhileka kwisiqingatha seyure, kukho into eyayiya kuhla, ivale amehlo, ihlema ngempumlo yakhe. Wayekholelwa kwiindawo ezininzi ezamkelayo kwaye wanyanzela abanye ukuba bakholelwe kuzo. Umzekelo, mna nabanye abamelwane sasingavumelekanga ngokungqongqo ukuba semka kwitafile engenanto kunye nesosi, kwaye kwakuyimfuneko ukubeka ecaleni. Inkunkuma inokuthathwa kuphela kusasa okanye ngexesha lasemini. Nge-chandeliers ngokuhlekisayo baxhobisa i-Prenties ebomvu - kuba nayo imali.
Umfanekiso wommelwane wam kunye nabantu abavakalayo kwi-psychologlogy ibizwa ngokuba "kukucinga komlingo." Ukucinga komlingo abukholo kwimikhosi engaqondakaliyo njengokuba, yezahlulo okanye ukuqiniseka ngokukholwa kwabaphambukeli. Ukucinga komlingo kukuzama ngokuchanekileyo ukulawula iziganeko ezizimeleyo kuwe ngezithethe ezithile, ukuthotyelwa kwe-taboos okanye iingcinga. Umntu unokuqonda ngokungafaniyo ngenxa yokuba ingayilawuli imeko yezoqoqosho kweli lizwe, kwaye abanye abantu kurhulumente, kodwa ngenxa yomyeni wakhe (inkosikazi) kuhambo lweshishini konke konke, abahlali belandela ngengqondo Iliso ngoncedo lomgangatho wamakhadi kwaye uligcine kwi-leash, enza amasitheliso abophayo. Ingcinga elula yokuba ukuba awukwazi ukuyilawula le meko - ungachithi iintlungu zakho kuyo, ngesizathu esithile senzeki.
Iingcambu zendlela yokucinga yomlingo zilele ebuntwaneni. Umntwana kwi-cot yomntwana ubeka ngokuvakalayo kakhulu ukuze abaleke umama aze andle. Ke ngoko, umntwana usenziwa yimvakalelo yobuntu, kuba iminqweno yakhe yenziwa, kufanelekile ukuba ucinge ngazo. Ngokwesiqhelo, emva kweminyaka emithathu, umntwana uqalisa ukuqonda ukuba ayisiyiyo yonke into kweli lizwe ilawulwa yingqondo yakhe ukuba kukho ezinye izinto afanele ukuba azilinganisele okanye azinikele kuzo. Ngelishwa, abaninzi bexesha elikhulileyo banamathele kwimvakalelo yokuba ngumanyano, bazama "ukulawula indalo, ngelixa iSaritars iguqukile."
Ugqirha wezengqondo yaseMelika ngo-Julian Rotter ngo-1954 wazisa umxholo onjalo njengoluhlu lolawulo. Lo tus of Cortus ubizwa ngokuba luthando lomntu ukuba achaze uxanduva ngempumelelo yabo okanye ukusilela izinto zangaphakathi okanye zangaphandle. Kukholelwa ukuba i-tuctus ingaphakathi, kokukhona umntu oqolileyo. Kodwa ngaba sinako uxanduva lwayo yonke into eyenzekayo kuthi? Ewe Hayi! Asinaxanduva lokuhlanganisana i-avanche yeentaba, kwipolitiki yasemkhosini ehlabathini, kwaye neengcinga zeqabane lawo.
Ithandwa kwi-blogger yenethiwekhi kunye nengqondo yengqondo marina, ibhala phantsi kwendalo ivelela ichaza umxholo othi: "Indawo elungileyo yolawulo yindawo ekwakuvumela ukuba ithathele ingqalelo ingqalelo yakho, ngakumbi kwimida yempembelelo. Yonke ingqalelo-kumda wempembelelo. "
Oko kukuthi, kufuneka uzibuze- kwaye ndinokuphembelela ntoni? Emva koko ndiphendule ngokwam - oko kukuthi. Kwaye wenza imicimbi yakho ngaphandle kokutshiza.
Asinokwazi ngokuqinisekileyo kwenzeka ngomso kwaye sifunde ezinye iingcinga zabanye abantu, kodwa sinokwenza into exhomekeke kuthi-cinga ngenyanga, cinga ngenyanga, cinga ubudlelwane obuhle kunye nomntu osithandayo, ojikelezileyo Inkathalo yakhe kunye nothando ngaphandle kwamathandabuzo ngokungeyomfuneko ngokunyaniseka kunye nezinto ezifunekayo. Yonke le nto yeyona nto yokwenene esinokulawula kakuhle ngaphandle kokuqina kweyona nto incinci.