U-Olga Lukina - ukhetho lwesayensi yezokwelapha, umeluleki wentuthuko yomuntu siqu yabaholi, umsunguli weSikhungo Se-Psychotherapy and Coaching. Ukugxila kwezintshisekelo zakhe zobuchwepheshe ubuntu bomholi, inkululeko yakhe yangaphakathi nokuzibona.
Eminye yemisebenzi esemqoka ukuchaza isigaba salo mholi nokukhomba izinkinga ezibalulekile, ngenxa yokuthi umholi uyeka ukubhekana nezinkinga zansuku zonke.
- U-Olga, noma kunjalo, qala ukuthola isigaba sobuholi. Kusho ukuthini lokhu - ukuba ngumholi?
- Ngaphansi kwegama elithi "abaholi" angisho nje ukuthi abantu abazuze impumelelo ngamandla noma isimo, futhi abantu banikezwe uhlobo lobuphofu obunamandla bokuphila besebenzisa abanye abantu kanye nenkambo yemicimbi. Shintsha ukuhleleka okukhona kwezinto ukuze uthuthuke. Lawa ngabantu abasezimweni ezedlulele abaweli emfanekisweni, kepha baphambene, cabanga futhi benze ngokushesha futhi bathole indlela yokuphuma. Lawa ngabantu abajwayele eqinisweni lokuthi bonke bavela. Cishe bonke babo bazuze impumelelo enkulu ebhizinisini labo futhi sesikwazile ukuzibonakalisa ukuthi bayakwazi ukubhekana nezilingo nezinkinga ezahlukahlukene. Empilweni, bathembela bona kuphela, ngaphezu kwawo basetshenziselwa ukusiza abanye.
Kepha abanye babo bangabaholi balabo abaye baphoqa ukuthi babe "ngamaqhawe osuku," ngaphandle kokuthambekela kwemvelo. Lesi isigaba sokuqala sabaholi. Bacabanga ngemisebenzi yomholi ngaphansi kwengcindezi evela ezimeni. Kepha, ngaphandle kokubhekana nalo msebenzi, basinda ekuphenduleni ebhizinisini njenge-fiasco yempilo yonke, futhi ngaphandle kokubona ukuthi akunakwenzeka ukwakha futhi bathuthukise abantu abasha, okuholela ekutheni babe necala lebhizinisi labo - laba akuwona wonke amakhono. Lezi "zinceku" bezingaqondi ukuthi azizange zibhekane nendima yomholi hhayi ngoba zazimbi, kodwa ngoba zazihlukile. Impumelelo yabo ibingekho lapha. Lapho-ke le nkinga iza. Abazizwa benenjabulo, asikho isifiso sokuletha okuthile empilweni yabo. Akunasifiso sokuqashelwa izinkomba ezintsha, okungukuthi, ukuthi yibaphi abaholi bemvelo abavame ukuzizwa. Ukuhlangenwe nakho kwalabo bantu abanjalo kufana nophayi ongezansi ezimbili. Isendlalelo esiphezulu sinokukhathala okungenamkhawulo kanye nobunzima. Isendlalelo esijulile yi-Wines phambi kwami nentukuthelo.
Sebenza nabantu abanjalo kunzima kakhulu. Lababantu bavame ukuba nzima kakhulu futhi kancane kancane bezokuthola ukuqaphela ukuthi umndeni kanye nomndeni abathandanga ngeke bafe uma beyeka ukubaphilela.
Ngokuphambene nalokho, abantu abasebenza kuleli bhizinisi bayoba nethuba elisha, amathuba amasha, uma ikhanda liba umuntu ozokujabulela lokhu futhi afuna ukuqhubekela phambili. Futhi abaholi babaholi bayovula ithuba lokususa izimpahla ezinzima nezingenamqondo futhi bakhethe okushiwo impilo yakhe.
- Ngabe weluleka abantu abanjalo abathatha izikhundla eziphezulu, bayeke ukusebenza futhi benze ukuthi kungenzeka bakhulu? Futhi lokhu akuyona ingozi? Ngemuva kwakho konke, ungalahlekelwa wena.
- Okusemva kakhulu, izibalo zikhonjwe, ngokusho ukuthi inani elikhulu lokuhlaselwa yinhliziyo liyenzeka ngobusuku beMsombuluko ngeSonto. Lokhu kusikisela ukuthi umuntu owenzeke ekuhlaselweni kwenhliziyo uyasaba ngemuva kwempelasonto futhi ukuya emsebenzini ongathandwa, ukuthatha umthwalo wemfanelo kanye nemithwalo engasekho ngaphansi kwamandla. Ngokwenziwa kwami ngibona ukuthi abantu bahlupheka ngalokho abakwenzayo uma kungalethi injabulo, akubajabulisi.
Ngakho-ke, laba bantu beza kimi ukuthola izeluleko futhi bathi: "Anginawo amandla, asikho isifiso sokusebenza, angisakutholi injabulo ngomsebenzi." Ngemuva kwalokho siyaxoxa, ngasiphi isizathu angena ekupheleni okufile, axoxe ngezinketho, kepha ukukhetha kuhlala kumi kuye.
- Kuphakama umbuzo: Ubuholi buyisipho esikhethekile esinganikezwa wonke umuntu noma okunye?
- Lokhu ngokungangabazeki kuyisipho esikhethekile. Ngakho-ke, ngifuna ukutshela ngabantu abazikhaphela futhi abakwamukelanga isipho sabo sobuholi. Kungashiwo ukuthi laba bantu bathola ubuholi be-dar kusuka emvelweni, kodwa ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukene akuzange kuthuthukise. Lokhu kwenzeka kaningi. Abantu abakhaphela indawo abaya kuyo, ngezinga elithile noma elinye bafuna impumelelo yangaphandle. Kepha aphezulu akhuphuka empumelelweni yawo, izimpahla ezibonakalayo ziyafinyelela, ubukhali bazizwa kabi.
Hlalani njalo abantu baqonda ukuthi kunjalo. Kwesinye isikhathi kubukeka ngabo ukuthi ukungakhululeki kubangelwa iqiniso lokuthi abuswanga ngokwanele emsebenzini, noma ngenxa yokugunyazwa kwabo, umphathi akabaniki inkululeko eyanele yokubona. Kwesinye isikhathi bayakholelwa ukuthi baphenduka inkampani abasebenza kuyo. Abanye bafuna imbangela ebudlelwaneni bomndeni - qala ukuzikholisa ukuthi lokhu kungenxa yokuntuleka kothando oluvela kubalingani. Kwesinye isikhathi kuza ecaleni. Kepha eqinisweni abajabule ngabo. Ngokungazinikeli ngesipho sakho. Bancamela ukuzivumelanisa nezidingo.
- Kungenzeka yini ukusho ukuthi ukunganeliseki kwalabo bantu abanjalo kuvela eqinisweni lokuthi kunenqwaba yezifiso ezingafinyeleleki?
"Ngaso sonke isikhathi sakhuluma futhi ngizothi ngithi izifiso zingesona esithi umuntu aphile, isifiso sokufeza okuthile, elindele impilo kakhudlwana, futhi angiboni lutho olungalungile ngalo. Kepha lapho umuntu engasebenzisi isipho sakhe sobuholi, izifiso zakhe ziphenduka into ebuhlungu, engakhululekile. Udinga ukubheka isizathu esenzeke. Kungani kunezimangalo, namakhono nemikhuba yokufeza inhloso - cha.
Abaholi abanjalo abangahleliwe kubalulekile ukuncika ngamandla abo, futhi lokhu kungenye yobuso bokubhala ngokomzwelo, khona-ke ungabeka amapulangwe aphezulu futhi uwafinyelele.
- Iziphi izinkinga eziphakama kubantu ezamukela isipho sobuholi, samdalile, sathola imiphumela ephezulu? Yini ebavimba ukuthi bajabule?
- Uhlobo lwesithathu, umholi obhubhisayo yibantu abathathe isipho sabo sobuholi futhi balisebenzisele ukubhujiswa. Lokhu nakanjani kunesiphiwo, kepha umbuzo wonke osendleleni yeVector yamandla. Lawa ngabantu abafihla ubuholi obunamandla, kepha kusukela ebuntwaneni bahlangana nobubi, udlame, ukuthobeka. Abagcinanga ngokuphila nje, baba nobuqili, baba namandla. Lolu hlobo lomholi lufinyelela izinhloso zalo zangaphandle, ngoba luqinile impela, lunobuqili, ubuhlakani. Hhayi ngaso sonke isikhathi umholi onjalo uyazi ngokubhujiswa nobubi bezenzo zabo. Imvamisa ukholelwa ukuthi ubudlova, ukuthotshiswa kwakudingeka impela. Enhliziyweni yemisebenzi yabo ihlala ilala ubusa, amandla adonsela phansi, ukusatshiswa. Kodwa noma imali, noma udumo, noma ukuphepha noma ukuphepha abanikeze ithuba lokuzola. Baphishelwa amathunzi avela esikhathini esedlule, yonke indawo ukuze abone ukubekelwa, ubuzenzisi, ukungahloniphi. Lababantu basinda ekushayweni okubhubhisayo kakhulu esemncane. Uphuke ipulatifomu yempilo uqobo, ukuzethemba kukho.
Sekuyisikhathi eside esephelile ukulinda okuthile okuhle. Ukujula kwezimpilo zabo kuholela ukwesaba nokwelulwa kokulungiselela kahle ukuziphindisela. Ukusuka lapha, kuthathwa isisusa sesifiso sabo sokufisa, ukunqoba ngazo zonke izindleko, ukubhujiswa ngendlela yazo konke nakho konke, nangawo. Azikho izibonelo zabaholi abanjalo emlandweni wethu. Eminyakeni embalwa edlule eYurophu, kwenhlangano ethile enkulu kwakukhona ikhanda elenza abasebenzi bakhe bazibulale, futhi akazange azwe icala ngemuva kwakhe. Ngaye, abantu bachitha izinto.
- Ukuba qotho, ngeke ngikwazi ukusebenza nomuntu onjalo, kungathandeki kakhulu ukubhekana nohlobo olunjalo. Njengochwepheshe, ungena kanjani ezimweni ezinjalo?
- Angifuni impela ukuba sendaweni ye-psychotherapist esebenza nge "Hitler" elandelayo kanye neKhasimende elinamakhasimende ngolwazi olusha namakhono, ekuqaleni ngaphandle kokuxosha ezinhlanganweni ezijulile zobuntu bakhe.
Ukungazivezi, umholi onjalo uzosebenzisa amathuba amasha okuthuthukisa ububi ngaphakathi uqobo. Isibopho sami somuntu nesingcweti ukuvikela lokhu.
Kwethula ubuholi obubhubhisayo "kusuka ngaphakathi", ngiqala ukusebenza namakhasimende anjalo, ngigxile ekuqothulweni kwabo ekubhujisweni nasengozini yempilo yabo yokuphila kwabo nabanye. Futhi siyaqhubeka uma sithola isibindi sokushintsha leli paradigm.
- Ngabe lukhona uhlobo oluphelele lomholi ohola kahle abantu, angethathi muntu ukuba azibulale, ajabulele uthando nokuhlonipha abasebenzi bakhe, futhi uzizwa usendaweni yakhe. Yini umuntu okufanele ayikhathaze?
- Nakhu. Lona ngumholi odala. Abantu abaseseyingane bemukele amandla abo okuholela indlela yabo empilweni futhi basebenzisa izipho zabo. Bazuze impumelelo ebonakalayo, badlula ukuhlolwa kwesimo, imali, amathuba. Futhi cishe maphakathi nempilo kwaqhamuka enkingeni yabo ekhona. Lesi yinhlekelele yemfanelo nenkululeko yangaphakathi. Bafuna ukushiya okuthile ngemuva kwabo, ikhono labo, ithrekhi ekhanyayo empilweni. Kepha esethole impumelelo, yakha lokho ababefuna ukuyakha, bathola imingcele yabo yangaphakathi, ukwesaba kwabo okungazi lutho, okuyinhloko kwalo kwakuvinjelwe injabulo, kwenqatshelwa ukuba ngokwabo. Abantu abanjalo kudingeka baqonde ngokuhamba kwesikhathi - liyini iphuzu empumelelweni, uma uzwa ukuphatha kwakhe futhi ungazizwa ujabule? Kubalulekile futhi ukuthi udlulise kubo ukuthi noma yimuphi umthombo unomkhawulo futhi udinga ukuyeka ukusebenza kahle kwamakhono akho abantu. Udinga ukufunda ukuphumula, ukushintsha, futhi kungenzeka uma beqala ukwethemba okwengeziwe kubasebenzi babo, ukuze bafunde ukuthi badlulise kahle kanjani igunya. Umholi onjalo uzoba yizinkinga ezingezinhle uma uthuthukisa ulwazi lwayo olungokomzwelo futhi uthole ithuluzi elinamandla lokuziqonda uqobo.
"Kubukeka kimi ukuthi cishe wonke umuntu uzovuma ukuthi ukuthola kusuka emvelweni njengesipho esinjalo njengoba ubuholi buyinjabulo enkulu.
- Yiba nesiphiwo ebuholini bese usebenzisa lesi sipho - izinto ezihluke ngokuphelele. Umuntu angazikhethela isipho noma ukwenqaba kwakhe. Uma umuntu ekwazi ukwembula futhi abone ubuholi bakhe, impilo yakhe izogcwala futhi inenjongo, futhi umsebenzi uzoletha ukwaneliseka okujulile nenjabulo. Uma umuntu enqaba isipho sakhe, ngisho noma engazi, noma angakwazi ukubona, uzikhandla. Lapho-ke isipho sobuholi siba yisiqalekiso, iwayini langaphakathi, elisondelana nokuhlupheka nesizungu.