UTatyana Ogorodnikova - Uhloliswa lwesayensi yezengqondo, umsunguli weSikhungo Sokubonisana Komndeni, umbhali odumile, umbhali wencwadi ethi "Inkontileka Yomshado, Oye waba yincwadi efundekayo yeRussia ukuyohlola iphephandaba i-Times. Umbhali wencwadi ethi "Konke Ngobulili. Amaphesenti ayi-100 empumelelo. I-Encyclopedia of ubudlelwano bocansi. " Owesifazane webhizinisi ophumelele, umkhiqizi wamafilimu nemiculo "u-Sika uhambisana", "Mamma Mia", "amakati", kanye nonina wamadodakazi amathathu amahle ephendula imibuzo yombhali we-Amanhit mayelana nothando noMshado.
"UTatiana, ngizoqala ngombuzo ongemukelekayo kangaka: Ngabe uyakholelwa emshadweni nomehluko omkhulu eminyakeni yobudala?" Uma abesifazane beqhubeka ngokwengeziwe noma becace kakhulu, khona-ke indoda encane encane kakhulu kunalowo wesifazane iyadideka. Uyini umehluko eminyakeni yobudala kuleli cala, ukuze ungasoli imoto ohlangothini?
- Emshadweni - ngiyakholelwa. Othandweni - ngokubekezelela okukhulu. Ngikholwa ukuthi umlingisi omncane angathandana ngaphandle kwenkumbulo esithombeni sakhe - umlingisi onolwazi futhi odumile. Ngikholwa ukuthi ukuziqhenya kukamuntu osekhulile kuzokwaneliswa ngokuphelele lapho intombazane encane ivunywa othandweni. Ngikholwa ukuthi uthando oluningi lukhona, kepha hhayi ngobungako obunjalo njengoba sinalo. Uma kusuka emacaleni ayikhulu amabanga ethu asebekhulile - osemusha ukubona okwamanje, khona-ke izibalo ezinjalo ziyenelisa kakhulu noma zigculisekile. Ubuzelani. Yebo, ngoba iphethini engajwayelekile: Ngesizathu esithile umyeni ohlobene nobudala uhlala ungumuntu ovikelwe. Uma intombazane ithanda abahola impesheni, ake sithande ekhaya lasebekhulile.
Okufanayo kusebenza kwabesifazane. Kuliqiniso, kuchitshiyelwa ezingeni lokuhambisana ngokobulili nangokwezengqondo. Kukholelwa ukuthi ezingeni leHormonal lamadoda aneminyaka engu-25 ahlobana kahle nabesifazane abaneminyaka engama-40-45. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu abasha abaningi abalutholi ulimi olujwayelekile nontanga yabo. Ukusuka lapha - amacala othando ngamantombazane avuthiwe ngokwengeziwe. Kepha inani elikhulu lama-alphecthi asebenza ngempumelelo kule makethe, esebenzisa ukuphakama kwabesifazane, kanye nenombolo eyanele nekhwalithi yamadoda ethu. Ngokuqondene nobulukhuni beminyaka yabashadikazi, indoda - indoda, ngangenza iminyaka eyishumi. Kungumshado. Futhi uma impilo, njengoba abathi odokotela besho, nakanjani noma kunjalo, icala lokunambitha.
- Kwesinye isikhathi ukhuluma ngokubonisana kwakho mayelana nezikhathi ezikhanyayo zothando, nokuthi yiziphi izikhathi ezenziwa isikhathi eside? Okungukuthi, kungenzeka yini ukukhiqiza umuzwa wothando? Futhi uthando lunoma iyiphi insiza ephakeme?
- Phendula kafushane. Kepha ngizozama. Umyalo wokuqala uthandwa, futhi kuphela - njenge-A a eduze neyodwa. Ukulungele yini ukuhlala isikhathi eside, ubukeke kahle, ukuze ube mnandi, uphumule, wehlise ukugeza? Leyo yimfihlo! Sonke siyazifunela okufanayo - impilo, injabulo, uthando. Kuliqiniso, injabulo yawo wonke umuntu ihlukile, kepha akunandaba. Okufanayo futhi emcabangweni kufanele ube khona nomakhelwane. Futhi ngesikhathi sothando i-euphoria - okuphindwe kayikhulu. Okwenza abantu bakulungele ukuvula umhlaba, banikeze phansi, bathole inkanyezi esibhakabhakeni, begqoke ebhokisini nokunye. Kuliqiniso, lelo landlo lizibonakalisa, njengomthetho, kuphela ekuqaleni, esikhathini esibuhlungu sothando. Yebo, ngoba uthando luwukungalingani kwe-hormonal, ukwephulwa, ukugula, ukugula uma ufuna. Okungukuthi, abonile uthando njengoba okujwayelekile akuyona nhlobo. Okujwayelekile, kunalokho, izinsiza zakho, lapho wenza indoda kanye nabathandekayo bakho. Wamukela, waphambukisa, weza nemibono yakhe - yiba nesibopho. Ngaphandle kwalokho, kungani indoda endala yafika kuyo? Ukuqiniseka kwangaphakathi nokwaneliseka njengobuntu kungukuxhaswa okuyinhloko kobudlelwano besikhathi eside. Yini umlingani, ngubani, eZwini lokuqala lamaComrades noma izintombi, ushintsha umbono ngomuntu osondelene naye? Ukuze ukhiqize unomuzwa wokuthi cha, kuyadingeka ukuba uqine ngokomoya - yindlela yokuzama ukuba yi-yoga, ukuba sempilweni yangempela yokukhava.
Isisetshenziswa sokugcina sisesikhunjeni, othandweni, ekukhulekeleni. Lolu thando alunalo mcebo opholile. Isibonelo, abazali bayaqhubeka nokuthanda izingane zabo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, izinja namakati, sithanda impilo yabo yonke, ngakho-ke sibi kakhulu uthando phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane abatholana?
Yebo, ukubonakaliswa kothando ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuyashintsha, akuyena wonke umuntu ongasindisa imizwa yawo kuze kube sekupheleni kwezinsuku. Ukuze unganciphisi uthando usendleleni eya endulo, udinga nje ukuyeka kabusha umuntu omthandayo. Yize kunjalo, wabonakala empilweni yakho njengoba kwenzeka - ngokuphakanyiswa abanye abazali, nezinye izinhlobo zofuzo, ngesimo sazo. Kufanele kuqondwe ukuthi uma umlingani wakho ephendukela komunye umuntu, uzoyeka ukujabulisa wena.
- Lapha uthi uthando lwangempela luyisibopho. Kwabaningi, umthwalo wemfanelo unomuzwa womsebenzi. Manje-ke kungani umuzwa wecala nesikweletu kubulala isifiso esimnandi sendoda?
"Kungenzeka, ngoba le mizwa ibekelwe futhi yabeka kahle indlela emlonyeni wowesifazane owawufudumele, onethenda, ejabule futhi ethandekayo. Ngemuva kwakho konke, umehluko phakathi kwendoda nowesifazane awekho esakhiweni sobuchopho nobulili. Ukuzibonakalisa kowesifazane kungakapheli ekhaya, kwabesilisa ngaphandle. Udlulela ngalé komkhawulo futhi uphenduke inkosi, inhlonipho, ayabhekwa ukuthi, ubalulekile, kuyadingeka. Usanda kungena ekhaya - ungumkweletile waphakade nowohlali. Ingxenye eyodwa yobuchopho ifakiwe, evimba isifiso sobulili: Ungafuna kanjani ukuba nowesifazane kufanele njalo? Futhi uzodinga okuthile!
- Uma owesilisa ehamba, owesifazane angasindisa kanjani umshado, abuyise othandekayo wakhe emndenini wakhe, hhayi "yena?
- Angidingi ukusindisa umshado. Kuyadingeka ukuqonda ukuthi lo muntu ubaluleke kangakanani kuwe. Wenza iphutha noma ngonembeza wanquma ukuguqula impilo yakhe. Namuhla, isehlukaniso asisijwayelekile. Ngeshwa, sekuyisikhathi sokuthi sijwayele ukuthi amadoda afuna ukuphila izimpilo ezimbalwa. Kuliqiniso, kwabesifazane, kwesinye isikhathi kuyavela. Kepha uma unomthwalo wemfanelo wezingane emahlombe akho, ngeke ungadlali ngokukhethekile impilo, okokuqala udinga ukubeka izingane ezinyaweni zakho, eyodwa. Mhlawumbe lokhu kwesaba nokuncika kwezinto ezibonakalayo - futhi kunezizathu zokufisa 'ukubuyisa' umyeni emndenini. Uthando lapha?
Kepha uma kukhona uthando futhi kunokuqonda ukuthi umyeni obalekile ngukuthi - isiphetho sakho, okokuqala, siqonde ngokwakho, usukulungele ukumthethelela futhi uwuthathe. Vele, ukuthathwa kokuqala ukuphendula "Yebo." Kepha angisho ukuthi okujwayelekile ukuthethelela, kepha ukukhohlwa icala, hhayi ukwenza izikhalazo, ukuhlaziya amaphutha ami, kuzame ukuguqula okuthuthukile kakhulu ukuhambela onothando lwabantwana, ezolile, kuvulekile. Ngakho-ke wafuna ukuhlala nawe - owawukade uyakubo.
- Nezinga lenkululeko yendoda? Yini angayenza, kepha kungani kungenjalo? Iphi imingcele? Ungayilawula kanjani?
- Izinga lenkululeko yomuntu ngamunye linquma umuntu uqobo. Uma kubuthakathaka futhi kungaphansi kwethonya lemvelo noma amakopisha ngokuziphatha kwesithombe sakhe - izinga lenkululeko, futhi kunalokho, ngokuhlukile, ukuthembela kwalolu hlobo akunamkhawulo. Uzoziphatha njengemfashini, njengoba abangane babo bevuma, njengoba umphathi aziphatha noma aphumelele. Mhlawumbe, lo umbono wami, kepha ngikholwa ukuthi akekho ophelele: Kunezilingo eziningi, abantu babuthakathaka, bangabi nokholo lweqiniso, noma isijeziso sokujeziswa kobuthakathaka bomoya. Ngokunokwenzeka, amanye amaphutha ekuziphatheni ayamukelekile, kepha awenzi la maphutha esidlangalaleni, futhi nangaphezulu - imindeni. Kukufanelekela yini ukuzibeka endaweni yomkami futhi acabange ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi usenza into efanayo umuntu azohlangabezana nayo? Futhi, ngendlela, ukuvukela umbuso komkakhe kungenye yezinto eziqine kakhulu zamadoda kanye nokulahleka kukamama. Ngikholwe, abesifazane abayona ukucindezelwa okuncane. Vele ungenzi maqondana nento esondelene nayo engingeke ngiyithande maqondana nawe. Yileyo yonke imingcele.
Ukulawula namuhla kulula. AmaMelika aqhamuka ethandwa kangaka manje i-iPhone, abanikazi bawo abangayizwa ama-ruble angama-385, bona futhi bafunda konke okushiwoyo, bekwenza futhi babhala phansi ukulawula. Umbuzo - ingabe ngidinga? Yini ofuna ukuyifinyelela ngosizo lokulawula? Thola iqiniso? Ngikholwe, "abalawuli" bazobonakala kwi-SMS engenacala kakhulu lokho abafuna ukukubona ...
- Manje mhlawumbe umuntu kungcono ukungalawuli, kepha anikeze ukuqonda lokho okuthembela futhi kuvame ukusho ukuncoma? Amadoda adinga kangaki ukukhuluma izincomo? Futhi ngaluphi uhlobo? Ngabe zikhona izindlela zoqobo zokujabulisa isithandwa sakho?
- Owesilisa - Ithuluzi alinciphile kakhulu. Ukuthopha okuyisisekelo kokuziqhenya komlomo wowesifazane kusebenza kahle kakhulu. Isibonelo, uma ekhuluphele, njalo emtshela ukuthi ulahlekelwe isisindo, futhi unesithakazelo ukuthi waphumelela kanjani. Ngesibindi, bhalela ingqondo, ubuhle, ukuhlonishwa, ukupha, imibono ephakeme nokukhula okuphezulu, noma ngabe konke lokhu kungenjalo futhi kuvukile. Sebenzisa imishwana efana nokuthi "Ngaphandle kwakho, akekho onga- ...". Ungakhohlwa ukugcizelela ukuheha kwe-sexy yendoda yakho nje.
Futhi ungasebenzi izindlela - uthando futhi ungakhohlwa ukukhuluma ngakho. Futhi namanje - zama ukuzigcina usesimweni esihle ukuze aqonde ukuthi uzama yena.