Ewe kunjalo, uninzi lwethu luzivila rhoqo kwaye lizivumele ngamanye amaxesha liphumle, enye into, ukuba imeko ye-hlegmatic ihamba, echaphazela onke amabakala obomi. Urhulumente xa sinokuba nefuthe le meko, kodwa asifuni, sibizwa ngokuba sisibindi. I-phenomenon yokwazi ukufunda ifundile yavulwa yingqondo yengqondo yaseMelika ye-Martin Seligman embindini wenkulungwane edluleyo.
Namhlanje, kule meko, abantu beli nani baphile: Ngokwemvelo, yonke le meko idlula ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, ekuphela kwento ebamanyanisa konke kukungabikho komnqweno wokutshintsha into ebomini bakhe, nokuba kuya kuba nzima ukubakho. Amabinzana oqhelekileyo onokuva kumntu "ongenakuzinceda":
- "Abanye babekwazi, kwaye andizukuphumelela."
- "Ngaba andikwazi ukujamelana nomthwalo onjalo."
- "Ndiziva ndibi."
- "Ndiyaphila njengoko".
Ngandlel 'ithile, ukungancedi okufundileyo kunxulunyaniswa nokuzithemba okuphantsi: Kubonakala ngathi ungumntu wokuba yonke impumelelo yakhe icocekile, kodwa intsilelo ngokupheleleyo kwisazela sakhe. Akumangalisi ukuba umgangatho wobomi kunye nendlela uncitshisiwe. Kodwa ngaba zikho iindlela zokunceda ukoyisa ukunqongophala kwento oza kuzabalazela? Siza kujonga ngakumbi.
Fumana unxibelelwano phakathi kwezenzo kunye neziphumo
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Qaphela ukuba kukho unxibelelwano phakathi kwezenzo kunye neziphumo
Njengoko besitshoyo, "umntu" ongenasiphelo "uqinisekile ukuba yonke impumelelo yakhe lithuba elihlekisayo. Oku akulunganga ngokupheleleyo. Zonke iintshukumo zethu zineziphumo-ezimbi nezilungileyo. Ngomsebenzi okhutheleyo, nangayiphi na imeko, uza kuza kwisiphumo esingcono kunokuba usebenza eninzi. Impumelelo ayinakwenzeka ukuba awunamandla. Ke ngoko, ngalo lonke ixesha ufikelela kwimiphumo emihle, hlaziya into oyenzileyo ukuba uphumelele. Ngokuthe ngcembe, ukwazi kwakho kuya kulungiswa ngumbono wokuba yonke izenzo zethu zinesiphumo, kwaye ayisoloko imbi.
Thatha ukusilela
Akuphoxekanga ngulowo ungenzi nto, into oyivayo uyivileyo ngaphezulu kwesinye. Kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba ngaphandle kokuwa awuyi kufikelela kwinjongo yakho, kuyinto eqhelekileyo kwaye iya kuhlala injalo. Eyona ndlela ilula yokuyeka ngakumbi izenzo, amaxhoba okusilela kokuqala. Ungavumeli ukuba uwele ngamava amabi- ubona injongo, ngoku kuya kufuneka uye emanqeni akhe amancinci, kodwa ungaguquki.
Cinga kakuhle
Ewe, siyazi ukuba le ngcinga izama ukudlulisela kuwe wonke umntu-umqeqeshi, kodwa kuyanceda lula ukufumana ukusilela kwaye kungami apho. Ewe kunjalo, ukuvula ukuqonda ngokunqakraza akunakwenzeka, kodwa unokutshintsha ngokuthe ngcembe izinto zakho eziqhelekileyo. Njengomsebenzi oluncedo, zama ukumisa iingcinga ezimbi ngalo lonke ixesha into ayikho kwicebo. Kungekudala, uya kuphawula ukuba kulula ukunyanga iimeko ezazicaphukisiwe kwaye zikhutshwa.