Olga Lukina - Candidate of Medical Sciences, Consultant for the Personal Development of Leaders, Founder of the Institute of Psychotherapy and Coaching. The focus of her professional interests is the personality of the leader, his internal freedom and self-realization.
One of the main tasks is to define the category of the leader and identifying key problems, due to which the leader ceases to cope with everyday crises.
- Olga, nevertheless, first figure out the leadership category. What does this mean - to be the leader?
- Under the word "Leaders" I mean not just people who have achieved success with power or a state, and people endowed with the nature of a powerful life force using which they are able to influence other people and the course of events. Change the existing order of things to bear progress. These are people who in extreme situations do not fall into a stupor, but opposite, think and act faster and find a way out. These are people who are accustomed to the fact that they all turn out. Almost all of them have achieved significant success in their business and have already managed to prove themselves that they are able to cope with various trials and crises. In life, they rely only on themselves, in addition to it is used to helping others.
But some of them are the leaders of those who have forced themselves to be "the heroes of the day," without having this tendency of nature. This is the first category of leaders. They assumed the functions of the leader under pressure from circumstances. But, without cope with this task, they survived non-response in business as a fiasco of the whole life, and without realizing that it was not possible to build and develop something new, leading to people, to be responsible for their enterprise - these are not all the abilities. These "slaves" did not understand that they did not cope with the role of the leader not because they were bad, but because they were different. Their success was not here. Then the crisis comes. They do not feel any excitement, no desire to bring something to life through their activities. There is no desire to master new directions, that is, what natural leaders are usually feeling. The experience of such people is similar to a two-layer pie. The top layer is infinite fatigue and severity. A deeper layer is wines in front of me and anger.
Work with such people is extremely difficult. These people are usually very difficult and slowly coming to the realization that the family and family affair will not die if they stop living for them.
On the contrary, people who work in this business will have a new chance, new opportunities, if the head becomes one who will enjoy this and wants to move forward. And the leaders of the leaders will open the opportunity to remove severe and meaningless goods and choose what the meaning of his own life.
- Do you advise such people who occupy senior positions, stop working and do that they are more likely? And this is not risky? After all, you can lose yourself.
- Most recently, the statistics were identified, according to which the largest number of heart attacks in humans happen on the night of Monday on Sunday. This suggests that the person who happened to the heart attack is afraid after the weekend again to go to the unloved job, to take responsibility and the cargo that he is no longer under power. From my practice I see that people suffer from what they do if it does not bring joy, does not excite them.
Therefore, these people come to me for advice and say: "I have no strength, there is no desire to work, I no longer receive pleasure from work." Then we discuss, for what reason he went into a dead end, discuss the options, but the choice always remains for him.
- The question arises: Leadership is a special gift that is not given to everyone or something else?
- This is undoubtedly a special gift. Therefore, I want to tell about people who betrayed themselves and did not accept their gift of leadership. It can be said that these people received the leadership dar from nature, but for various reasons did not develop it. This happens often. People who betrayed their destination, to one degree or another seek external success. But the higher they rise in their success, the more material goods achieve, the sharper feel discomfort.
Not always people understand that it is. Sometimes it seems to them that discomfort is caused by the fact that they are not sufficiently appreciated at work, or by virtue of their authoritarianity, the boss does not give them enough freedom to realize. Sometimes they believe that they turned around the company in which they work. Some are looking for a cause in a family relationship - begin to convince themselves that this is due to a lack of love from partners. Sometimes it comes to divorces. But in fact they are unhappy with themselves. For not fighting for yourself for your gift. They preferred to adapt to the requirements.
- Is it possible to say that discontent of such people comes from the fact that there are a bunch of unrealized ambitions?
"Always spoke and I will say that ambitions are the claims of a person to life, the desire to achieve something, waiting from the life of more, and I do not see anything wrong with it. But when a person does not use his leadership gift, his ambitions turn into something painful, uncomfortable. You need to look for the reason why it happened. Why there are claims, and skills and habits to achieve the goal - no.
Such unrealized leaders is important to rely on their strengths, and this is one of the faces of emotional literacy, then you can put high planks and reach them.
- What problems arise in people who accepted the gift of leadership, developed him, achieved high results? What prevents them from being happy?
- The third type, the destructive leader is the people who have taken their gift of leadership and use it for destruction. This is definitely gifted, but the whole question in the direction of the vector of strength. These are people who landed a powerful leadership force, but from early childhood they encountered evil, violence, humiliation, deception. They not only survived, they became cunning, stronger. This type of leader reaches its external goals, because it is really strong, has a cunning, intelligence. Not always such a leader is aware of the destructiveness and evil of their actions. Often he believes that violence, humiliation was absolutely necessary. At the heart of their activities always lie aggressiveness, gravity, intimidation. But neither money, nor fame, nor the security give them the opportunity to feel calm. They are pursued by the shadows from the past, everywhere to see a betrayal, hypocrisy, disrespect. These people survived the most destructive blow as a child. Cracked the life platform itself, confidence in it.
They have long ceased to wait for something good. The depth of their lives leads the fear and the well-established thirst for revenge. From here, their motive of the desire for omnipotence is taken, victory at all costs, destruction on its path of all and all, and themselves. There are no examples of such leaders in our history. Literally a few years ago in Europe, in some large corporation there was a head that brought his employees to suicide, and he did not feel any guilt behind him. For him, people were spent material.
- To be honest, I would not work with such a person, too unpleasant to deal with such a type. As a professional, how do you enter in such cases?
- I absolutely do not want to be on the site of a psychotherapist working with the next "Hitler" and the customer arming with new knowledge and skills, initially without having dismissed in the deep mechanisms of his personality.
Not realizing himself, such a leader will use new opportunities to enhance the phenomenon evil inside itself. My human and professional responsibility is to prevent this.
Presenting the destructive leadership "from the inside", I begin to work with such clients, focusing their attention on the destructiveness and danger of their life paradigm for themselves and others. And we go further if they find the courage to change this paradigm.
- Is there any optimal type of leader who correctly leads people, does not bring anyone to suicide, enjoys love and respect for his employees, and he feels in his place. What should a person bother?
- There is. This is the creating leader. People who still as a child have accepted their ability to lead their way in life and implemented their gifts. They achieved apparent success, passed the test of status, money, possibilities. And about the middle of life came to their existential crisis. This is the crisis of responsibility and inner freedom. They want to leave something after themselves, their skills, a bright mark in life. But having achieved success, building what they wanted to build, they came out for their internal restrictions, their unconscious fears, the main of which was banned for happiness, prohibiting being themselves. Such people need to understand in time - what's the point in success, if you feel His hostage and do not feel happy? It is also important to convey to them that any resource has a limit and you need to stop working at the limit of your human capabilities. You need to learn to relax, switch, and it is possible if they begin to trust more to their employees, to learn how to properly delegate authority. Such a leader will become less problems if it enhances its own emotional literacy and get a powerful tool for understanding itself.
"It seems to me that almost everyone will agree that to receive from nature as a gift such quality as leadership is of great happiness.
- Be gifted in leadership and implement this gift - completely different things. A person can choose his gift or reject. If a person is able to reveal and realize his leadership, his life will become filled and meaningful, and the activity will bring deep satisfaction and joy. If a person refuses his gift, even unconsciously, or cannot realize him, he betrays himself. Then the gift of leadership becomes a curse, internal wine, which circumsides with suffering and loneliness.