The term "Gaslight" appeared recently, but you or your friends probably came across this phenomenon, albeit not in the most running form. The essence of Gazlating, which is one of the manifestations of psychological violence, is to convince the victim in its own inadequacy, distorting real facts and events. Yes, not to all situations apply this method, perhaps your friend really can't remember how he lent you to pay. Gaslighting as a method of manipulation is often used by one of the partners in a family or just in love with a pair, thus holding a person next.
Gaslighting was born after the release of the game Gas Light ("Gas Light"). The plot of the film is spinning around a couple: a husband, trying to hide his criminal affairs, prohibits his wife to communicate with other people, holds her all the time. It includes light in the attic, as a result of which all the light in the house fades. When a woman talks about his suspicions, the husband accuses her to lie, because of which the heroine gradually goes crazy.
Gaslight - a favorite way of manipulation of abusers in a pair
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Gaslighting is a favorite way to manipulate the abusers in a pair, thereby they control a suspect of a suspect. Phrases "You react too strangely", "What are you talking about?", "When it was, going to go wrong?" - Permanent satellites of these couples. As a result, a person feels guilty for his own feelings and, in extreme cases, he needs the help of psychiatrists. This technique is like to enjoy maliciously, which for all suspicions of the partner react is extremely surprised, trying to point out its inadequacy.
Using the Gas Lighting method, a person is trying to distort the reality of another person, confused facts or in general, the denying events that occurred in reality. The abuser or denies what is happening ("there was no such"), or gives a negative assessment of the opinion of the opponent ("calm down and do not react so"), or indicates the inadequacy of what is happening ("is it generally normal that you react so much?").
There are several situations that will make you understand that you are dealing with an absurr that is trying to control you:
1. These people know how to master
And do it professionally. All this is done in order to make doubts about you and then "process" you as you like.
2. They begin to deny the facts.
Even if you heard information with our own ears from this very man, you can remember the date and time when it happened, your interlocutor will persevere to pretend that such a situation in principle was impossible and, since you insist, it means that you are something not this way. If such a situation is repeated from time to times, you already start doubting your adequacy.
The more people begin to doubt you, the better the Gaslight-Acuser will feel.
Photo: pixabay.com/ru.
3. They know perfectly well about your weaknesses.
If you are proud of a scientific degree, the absurr will surely remind you of more than once that it was not worth it to do, your efforts were wasted. Also presented "on a saucer" a list of your negative qualities you can and not possess.
4. Abusers act gradually
They never completed the started at a time. Their actions are thought out and planned - this is a distinctive feature of gaslighting. It all starts with a small, with comments, which then develop into serious accusations.
5. Everything they say dispelled with their actions
Here is a very important point: watch what is happening, and not for what you are told. Their words do not carry any benefit or harm.
6. They change tactics
If earlier they unobtrusively fit you, they now changed the anger to grace, thereby rubbing you in trust even more. They start you like, you will gradually forget past resentments. But here they achieved the desired effect: you doubt that they somehow treated you.
7. They find associates
Surprisingly, they very quickly establish contacts with people who theoretically can support them. In the absence of the Abuzer himself, their acquaintances will "replace them", fully supporting the position of the Gasladira. I have not been able to figure out who is right, and who is to blame, you will take back to the Genlary, and in this, in fact, was his goal.
You already begin to doubt your adequacy
Photo: pixabay.com/ru.
8. They will convince everyone around that you are inadequate
The more people begin to doubt you, the better the Gaslight-Abuser will feel. And even if he ever starts to show aggression towards you, people will still believe him, not you, since the manipulator has perfectly "processed" the audience.
Knowing all these techniques, it will be easier for you to recognize a potential abuser and stop these relationships in their reign.