1 criterion: he is married
If your beloved is married, it is absolutely not necessary that his goal is a new family that he will create with you. It is possible that everything he wants is a pleasant and easy pastime with an attractive woman outside the usual home. Most often, a ardent man does everything possible so that you are next to him.
Of course, it is possible that his current marriage will disintegrated. But does he want to build relationships with you? Moreover, he will miss the rethinking of errors that led to the breakdown of the family, and will repeat them again and again. It is likely that this habitual scenario will be moved already at you, and then the final will be obvious.
That is why so often people join new marriages, and then surprised - where are the old rakes come from, who are bold on the forehead? And this is the effect of the most irrepreced negative scenarios of relationships. Since they had no new positive love scenarios.
"But there are exceptions!" - You will say. And you will be right. Just the likelihood of these "exceptions" is very small.
Tip: If a married man is cared for you, and he is not pretty you - this is one of the highest gifts of the universe (do not forget to thank her for it). Sigh with relief, turn around and stepping from him. And if there was still a spark between you still - run. Run until they fell in love, losing shoes, but not head! (Thank the universe on the road).
Having overhamed after run, look around: free, successful men will be enough for everyone. All this is the fiction that they went somewhere or disassembled them. They are! How to search for them and marry them, I tell my student. And then no geometry in the form of love triangles - only you and only he.
Yulia Lansk, an expert on the selection of an ideal pair for marriage
2 Criteria: Resort Roman
Of course, the resort novels have little in common with your real, real life. It is a holiday, completely different living conditions, relaxation, holiday every day. This is a rather short period of time, broken from your daily life, children, work. And the man on vacation is exactly in the same position.
Neither you nor the man you will meet do not correspond to this moment your natural roles. These are not at all the images that you usually have and are characteristic. And as soon as a pleasant fairy tale ends and you both are transferred to our usual state, in the conditions of the real life, all the masks will be reset.
Tip: On vacation, of course, you can meet a successful status person, with whom you will be able to build a happy family life. But in order to establish a serious relationship, you need to have a female mistress, and women-wife. This should manifest itself in everything - from an external image to behavior. Rest is a great time to meet new interesting people: find out, expand the circle of communication, exhaust communication skills, but do not fall in love immediately.
3 Criteria: Love on the Internet
Have you come across what they wrote a phrase that was incorrectly interpreted? Because she was taken with a completely different emotional color, what did you invested in it initially? Also, depending on the mood, you liked photos, your fantasy, you can create an image of the interlocutor, which is not. This person does not exist, he is Phantom. You yourself speculated what you have not seen and did not know.
If you tighten with the transition to real communication from online, it may be very painful. After all, you get used to the person who invented by you, who will actually be completely wrong.
Moreover, if you make friends on the network, for more than six months, it is only no more likely to meet meetings, most likely, this is a virtual novel that can be delayed for years and do not go into real relationships.
Tip: Use the network for dating, and not for long virtual love relationships in it. On the Internet, you can easily find your love, but strong relationships are already built in real life. To meet a worthy candidate on a dating site, you need to be able to properly compile a questionnaire, competently lead a conversation, to interest yourself and bring communication as quickly as possible to the first offline date.
Online communication is better to turn as quickly as possible.
Photo: pixabay.com/ru.
4 Criteria: Pathological dependencies
If your chosen one has bad habits in the form of alcohol abuse or some kind of prohibited drugs, you should not think that you can save it. "My love is capable of everything, I will heaile him!" - Woman thinks and ... mistakes. If you do not break these relationships, trying to save the sinking, you will soon just drown with him. It is a pity, but statistics says that.
Woman gets stuck in the role of a savory. It gradually becomes compatible, and this is already a psychological diagnosis. She is not even so much as the victim's role, as if he considers himself somewhere almighty. After all, he will disappear without her, the savory thinks, it means that she is a goddess here, and a man is completely in her power. This is a triangle carpman, a game of a savory, sacrifice and pursuer, and break out of it very and very difficult.
It is necessary to understand that a man is an adult sane person, and he must fully and fully respond to his actions. If the abyss wants - this is only his personal choice. You cannot take responsibility for another person.
Tip: It is better to initially not stop your choice on a man with pathological dependencies. But what to do if he "happened to happening"? It is understood that this is his personal choice (and not the misties of the fate of the villain) and then do its later. Final and correct.
5 Criteria: Love Dependence
This is a high degree of dependence of one of the partners from the other. She is also called addiction to another person. Sometimes it takes such scales that can be comparable to real obsession.
A man who put on the pedestal of another has an incredible need for him. He may not drink and not eat, only a cute was near. Catch any of his eyes, breathing. Washes, pulls the attention to himself to be ticking.
The person who is directed to this focus of love and passion, just sinks in it, suffocating. He tries to break these unbearable relationships that make hands and legs and depriving freedoms.
Tip: If you feel that you are with your head absorbs an obsession to the partner, remember that it can push it on the contrary. A person should not be the only meaning of your life, transfer your attention to other spheres. Including it is necessary to independently - work on oneself, above its value, significance, confidence and love for yourself, because happiness is in this beautiful balance.
Do not choose the role of the Savior - it gradually becomes compassionated
Photo: pixabay.com/ru.
6 Criterion: physical violence
If the assault was and, especially, repeated, most likely, it will never stop, but will repeat, repeat and repeat. It can begin with slap and landing, then more serious injuries will go.
You can not tolerate such things, justify a man who may even inspire you what exactly you brought him and deserve such a treatment. Our body is inviolable, no one has the right to bring physical suffering to us. But it is impossible to provoke, the most famous hands towards his partner.
Tip: If your pair has domestic violence, the relationship is most likely to break. People applying physical violence may change, but, unfortunately, this is rare. Already perched a certain feature.
7 Criterion: Sexual Incompatibility
Here we are not talking about first sexual experience with a new partner. Sometimes you need to get used to each other, reveal. But it happens really sexual incompatibility when people do not fit each other for temperament, their preferences. Most likely, over time, such an imbalance will only be exacerbated.
It happens that one person is gentle, romanticized in bed, and the second is quite active and rude. Or one must be more often and more, the second is quite less sufficient. Or someone requires role-playing games, and another is just funny and stupid.
Therefore, if you see that in the intimate sphere you do not combine and are not ready to look for compromises, you should understand that this can lead to a breaking of relations.
Tip: Try to find the root of evil (and it is always there, believe me). You may need to gain courage and discuss your experiences with a partner or seek help from an expert in the field of sex. If this is not a physical incompatibility, then a solution to the problem may be found.
Physical violence is unacceptable either with a male nor from the female side
Photo: pixabay.com/ru.
8 Criteria: lack of common interests
We are talking about cases when men and women have no common points of contact, they do not live uniting interests and do not set themselves similar purposes. Yes, now they have a passion, she brings them closer, but this will pass with time, and then what will remain at the once loving couple?
Only the general moments of living together I can become the basis and support for the further development of harmonious personal relations. If you want to be together, you must work on that these common contact points still appeared, and you would look in one direction, having a common vector of co-movement.
Otherwise you will not have a common basis for the future, and get a non-working scenario of relationships by the type "Swan, Cancer and Pike".
Tip: If you are a man of roads, try to find a sufficient number of points in contact with it. Common goals, interests, plans, rest bring and strengthen the Union.
9 Criteria: Relationship in the last place
This is an option when the relationship is at the very end of the list of life priorities. How to understand it? A man does not build joint plans for the future. He is in no hurry to acquaint you with friends and friends. You don't know anything about him, because he is very much talking about himself. In addition, we can say that it is not interested in your life.
You will not see any investment in yourself and your relationship. Does not spend time resources, does not invest emotionally. There is no care and care. He recalls your existence exclusively when he needs it when he is interested in this.
Your time leaves, and WHO and now there. In the first place he has work, parents, children from past marriages, personal hobbies. All anything, but not you.
Tip: Determine the reason: Watch and analyze. A man does not want a long-term relationship or relationship with you? In the second case, it is not necessary to change it, but himself. If a man is not ready for marriage in principle, think, are you ready to wait or forced, work on your relationship painstakingly and consistently? This will be the decision.
10 Criteria: big difference in age and status
It is believed that from the point of view of physiological health and psychology, the difference between spouses should not be more than 15 years. Otherwise, the chances of creating a harmonious family fall sharply. Why does this happen? One of the problems is difficulties in understanding and interaction between different generations.
In addition, an increase in the age interval leads to different risks from the health of partners. But despite this, now there is a certain trend towards the growth of such a difference. In recent years, the percentage of such marriages has grown noticeably. And, despite the risks, many men and women gained harmony in relationships and happiness in marriage.
But it is necessary to understand that not all pairs are capable of building such a family. It happens that all is well the first years, and then everything starts to crumble, as a card house.
Tip: Each person is individual, like any relationship in a pair. You should not put a cross if the partner was older (younger) for 15 years and 1 day. It is important here to understand with what problems you may encounter, and be able to decide. If you see that this is your native man, and it is perfectly suitable for you, then here you have already had a hindrance here. As for the social difference, the wise woman will be able to grow to a man and become his wife, everything is only in our hands.
Analyze your relationship, relying on these criteria.
Perhaps you already have to stop eating air locks and spend your time in vain? .. And maybe you will hear these calls in time and you can direct the relationship to the right direction.
I, Yulia Lansk, an expert on the selection of an ideal pair for marriage, I wish you to become a happy, beloved and desired woman for your man.