Parents are always worried about their children, no matter how many years have not happened. But little about the life of the child causes so many questions and excitement as a period of growing up. It is worth recognizing an obvious fact: few of the parents are ready for the difficulties that arise in communicating with the teenager.
The situation is complicated by the fact that every adult - and himself in the past teenager, and remembers how difficult to be a teenager when it seems that the parents do not understand you when it seems that all their words and advice do not help, but only interfere. Paradox: We know how difficult it is to be a teenager, but we can not help your teenage children anyway. We do not know how.
Often you can hear tips: Whether to your child, perceive it as equal, and everything will be fine. But in practice, these tips are poorly applicable and will be honest, it is not always working. First, the parent and child is originally not at an equal position, and this is natural. Secondly, how to be friends with a teenage child, if every your word does he perceive in the bayonets? Is there a way out? There is.
The first thing that is important to remember to each parent is about his main task - to prepare a child for adult, independent life. To successfully cope with this task, it is much more important to be an insightful, wise mentor than a friend. Few children need friendship of parents, but what they really need is in moral landing, in mentoring, in authority. Parent in relation to the child always stands in position a little top, it is important to use this position with the mind.
Never decide anything and do not talk to the child if you are annoyed or be angry with it. If in this minute you feel that you can not rationally respond to the words or actions of a teenage child, take a pause. Do not assess the words and acts of the child as the words and actions of an adult. Teenagers often lack not only consciousness, but also banal education, education, and this lack, often determines their behavior. Think what is missing to your child.
Spend more time together
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In communication with the teenager it is very important to hear him. A teenager no longer considers himself a child and wants to be treated with respect to him. It is important that the parent is the most affordable for adults, and the communion itself was safe for a teenager. This does not mean that mom and dad should listen to the child in all and agree with him. Parents must enable the child to safely speak, give confidence that he will be heard. First, thus you will be aware of many things that you worry your child, and secondly, expressing out loud, the child will get the opportunity to hear himself. To think in secret any idea and talk about it out loud - two big differences. Often, "leaving for light", the idea is no longer so attractive, and the child understands it himself.
A big problem for parents often becomes recognition of the fact that the child may have the right not to devote the parents in all its thoughts and affairs. It seems that it is only a bit of weakening control, as a teenager will immediately do something wrong. But sooner or later, each of us has to learn from their mistakes, and it is not clear to protect from this child. You will have to give a certain freedom to teenage. The most important role in this stage will be played by the upbringing and those moral guidelines that you have managed to give your child. Want a teenager to be responsible, honest, kind, cheerful? Be such an example, promote the values that you want to invest in your child.
One of the most important problems of adolescents is uncertainty. Do not get on the side of those who accumulate the merits and the qualities of your son or daughter, believe me, in their lives and without you there will be many such people. Accent your attention on positive moments. This does not mean that you need to praise the child about and without, it means that your child should know about his strengths. You must tell him about them.
Be realists. Yes, you are a parent, no one knows your child as you know. But this does not mean that you know everything and know the best. Hell admit your mistakes, it's a good experience for you, and for your teenager. What really is worth waiting from yourself and from others, so it is progress, not perfection.
Appreciate the time spent with the children, and try to regularly arrange family events. Even if now your teen without enthusiasm relates to joint campaigns to cinema or cooking Sunday dinner, be sure: in the future he will certainly appreciate it and will be grateful to you. Your time is the best gift you can make your children. And try not to lose sense of humor. Sometimes a joke is the best cure for stress.