Umbuzo wokuthi uzojoyina ubudlelwano bezocansi ngaphandle kobudlelwano nezibopho zaphakade, wayehlala ukhathazekile ngocansi. Kodwa-ke, abesifazane kanye nabesilisa basondela kulokhu kwehlukile. Ngakho-ke, imvamisa le nketho ukuxhumana nento yokukhanuka kwabamele abamele isitezi esihle ayisebenzi. Ake sizame ukuthola ukuthi inkinga ilele kuphi?
Okokuqala, ngithanda ukukhumbula uchungechunge oludumile "ubulili edolobheni elikhulu". Amaqhawe amane anezindlela ezine ezihlukile zokuphila nangokobulili. Elinye lama-heroine akhanyayo uSamantha, ohlala emgomweni wokuthi "akekho engimfuna, ngilala, engifuna." Kuwo wonke lonke uchungechunge lwe-TV, impilo yakhe ikhonjiswa ukukhanya okuhle kakhulu. Uhlala kwikhoyili egcwele, wakha umsebenzi, uhola kahle futhi angahudula embhedeni wanoma yimuphi muhle edolobheni. Kungaba ngukuphila, kepha kuyiphupho. Kepha kungenzeka ngokoqobo?
Isazi sezengqondo u-Alena Al-Ase ukholelwa ukuthi ubulili ngaphandle kokuzibophezela empilweni yowesifazane kufanele abekhona ngezikhathi ezithile ezithile
Ngisho nanamuhla, naphezu kwayo yonke le nkululeko yezocansi, enabo bonke abantu abadala, umphakathi awukakulungeli ukuvumela amathuba afanayo nabesilisa nabesifazane. Kusivumele ukuthi siphathe izindiza, izinkampani zamazwe aphesheya futhi cishe wonke amazwekazi, kepha uyaqhubeka nokubeka uhlelo oluthile lobudlelwano. Ngakho-ke, owesifazane kulolu hlobo lobuhlobo ubhekene nobunzima obuthile. Isibonelo, lapho ucansi ngaphandle kokuzibophezela lunikeza umuntu, kuthathwe ngokujwayelekile futhi abanye bamukelekile, bathi, kuhle ukuthi owesilisa uxwayisa ngokubuka kusenesikhathi. Kepha lapho owesifazane ephikelela ocansini ngaphandle kwezibopho, kuphakama imibuzo ngokushesha: "Kungenzeka yini?", "Akukubi?" Ngeqiniso lokuthi ngisho nemithi sekuyisikhathi eside kufakazelwe ukuthi ukufutheka kwabesifazane akusizi ngalutho, futhi endabeni yamuva kusheshisa kuphela umvuthwandaba.
Le nto leyo yileyo mibono efana nokuthi "isimilo", "isimilo", "Ubumsulwa", "Ubumsulwa", Sisaxhumene nowesifazane. Kube nohlelo lwendabuko emphakathini, lapho ngowesifazane, njengasesimweni "sokwakheka kwezwi", sibhekele "ubumsulwa" kuzo zonke izinzwa. Kulandela kulolu hlelo ukuthi kufanele kube khona okuthembekile futhi kube nesizotha, ukugcina umndeni, thethelela umuntu wakho futhi umnakekele. Ngezindlela eziningi kuvela nge-biology. Umsebenzi wendoda ukuthuthukiswa kwezindawo ezintsha kanye nokusakazeka kwezinto zalo zofuzo, umsebenzi wowesifazane - ukudala induduzo nokuqina kwenzalo yawo. Konke lokhu kubekwe ngokwemvelo. Abesifazane abaningi abacabangi ubulili ngaphandle kothando nobudlelwano. Kaningi, ngezinsolo zokuthi "ubulili bezinza ucansi ngaphandle kokuzinikela", sivumelana kuphela nethemba lokuthola indoda ngobuhlobo nomshado. Futhi uma uzinika ngisho nazi ukuthi kungokobulili nje, namanje, ngemuva kwesikhashana, baboshelwe futhi bathandane. Lokhu kungumlingisi wesifazane. Kwenzeka ukuthi sivame ukwenqaba ukuzizwa sithi sinezidingo zeqiniso.
Ngingancoma ukwenza izinqumo, ukuncika emizweni nasezifiso zakho, hhayi ngombono wabanye. Impilo ingeyakho. Ungenzi lutho ngokungemthetho, ngakho-ke vumela ukuzikhethela komuntu. Ngokwami, ngikholwa ukuthi ubulili nobudlelwano yizidingo ngokuphelele, yize kunjalo, ngokufanele, kufanele zihlangane. Kepha ucansi ngaphandle kobuhlobo kungenzeka ngendlela efanayo nobudlelwano ngaphandle kobulili (akuvamile, kodwa futhi kuyatholakala).
Ukuya ocansini ngaphandle kobuhlobo empilweni yowesifazane kungenzeka kube khona, kodwa kwezinye izikhathi ezithile. Singaphikisana kakhulu ngangokunokwenzeka ngesihloko sokuthuthukiswa kwempucuko, kepha imvelo yethu, njengomthetho, ngaso sonke isikhathi sisiholele emgaqweni owufunayo. Into esemqoka ukuzilalela. Vele ufune ukugcizelela: Akufanele unikeze lokhu kuphela ngenxa yokwesaba lokho okuzokulahla ngayo. Nquma ngokwakho, okulungele wena. Ngijabule.