Intombazane ngayinye ngemuva kweminyaka engama-25 iqala ukwesaba lo mbuzo: Kungani ungashadanga? Awusoze wazi ukuthi 'uzofika kuye' ngokuzayo futhi azaba njani ukuthi izaba zokuqhamuka nesikhundla sayo esinesizungu. Futhi ngokufana nalokhu, endaweni ethile ekujuleni komphefumlo, ukuvuthwa okuphikelelayo okuphikelelayo nokungabaza okuhle ukuze kube nokungabaza ngokujwayelekile kwabanye abantu. Kepha kwesinye isikhathi akulula ukuphendula lo mbuzo ngokwakho. Manje kungani ungashadanga?
Iminyaka engama-23-28 - isikhathi esisebenza kakhulu, esivelele kunazo zonke empilweni nabafana, namantombazane. Futhi uma insizwa ngalesi sikhathi ijwayelekile, ukwakhiwa okusebenzayo komsebenzi, ukuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano kanye nokuzenzela, intombazane, ngesizathu esingenakuqondakala, abaningi basabona umama ongaba khona ekujuleni kobudala bokuzala. Sonke singakuhle ukujwayela umbono wokuthi intombazane eyenza ukukhetha esikhundleni somsebenzi wayo ijwayelekile emphakathini wanamuhla. Ukwakha impilo yakho, ukuncika kuphela kuwe ukuzizwa uzethemba kungakhathalekile ukuthi umuntu unawe noma cha, - uphawu lobuntu obuvuthiwe nobuqinile. Futhi lokhu kuyimbangela enesisindo esanele ukuze ungashadi.
Omunye wacabanga ukuthi umphakathi wethu wawukude ukujwayela kuyo yonke: umshado - hhayi ukuphela kwentombazane yanamuhla. Ubuwula obukhulu bacabanga ukuthi eminyakeni engama-30 owesifazane kungenzeka angashadi kuphela ngoba "akekho othathayo." Ngokuphambene nalokho, izibalo zesehlukaniso zibonisa ukuthi imindeni eyenziwe ngonembeza, eneminyaka engama-30 "ihlala isikhathi eside, ejabule. Kubandakanya ngoba abaningi kule minyaka bashada okwesibili, banikezwe amaphutha ezedlule futhi abanezinsana ezimbalwa nezibonelo zokuziphatha, benethemba lokuziphatha.
Leyo enye impendulo embuzweni othi "Kungani ungashadanga?" Ngoba sehlukanisile. Futhi kudalula enye inkinga enkulu yomphakathi wethu: Intsha ayazi ukuthi ingakha kanjani ubudlelwano emndenini. Uma umshado udlalwa ngabazali, uma abazali behlinzeka ngezindlu kanye "nesinkwa", kuvela ubunzima obukhulu lapho kunesidingo sokwenza okuthile ngokwabo noma ukwenza ikhambi lakho. Amawayini alokhu awatholakali kwabasanda kushada kuphela, kodwa, kaningi, kubazali abangaxazululwa isikhathi eside ukuyeka indodana noma indodakazi.
Ihadi elihehayo: Abantu abashade, babheka emehlweni omphakathi abakhanga ngokwengeziwe, baphumelela kakhudlwana ezinhlelweni zomuntu siqu kunokuzungeza isizungu, noma ngabe umshado uwela ngaphandle! Uma unemfundo, sebenza, ubukeka kahle, kepha uwedwa - unephutha. Uma ushadile futhi uhlukanisile - unenhlanhla encane. Kodwa-ke, isehlukaniso, hhayi umyeni, kufanele ilinganiswe ukwehluleka okukhulu kwempilo. Abantu abaningi abakwazi ukululama ngemuva kwalokhu kwehluleka isikhathi eside.
Konke lokhu kusitshelani? Ukuthi isizungu akusona isigwebo, hhayi ukuxilongwa hhayi ukwehluleka. Thatha isikhathi sokuba nesizungu sami engqondweni, khona-ke uzokhunjulwa lapho ushada.