Okukhathazayo, okubuhlungu, okubangela ukuphelelwa yithemba, okunganikeli umphefumulo, kususa wonke amabutho, okubhubhisa - ngakho-ke kuchaza umuzwa womhawu, wonke umuntu owake wakuzwa. Izazi zezengqondo zithi, ekujuleni kwayo, umhawu kungaqhathaniswa nosizi lokulahlekelwa, ngomehluko owodwa kuphela: usizi lisaqhubeka. Ingabe unesikhwele? Sithola ukuthi kukusongela kanjani, noma ngabe kufanelekile yini ukubhekana nalomugqa wezinhlamvu nokuthi ungawuthatha kanjani phezulu phezu kwawo.
Kwenzeka ukuthi ngikhule phakathi kwezinkolelo eziwutshaliwe: "Shayela umhawu wakhe!", "Makube yinto fuck", "kusho unesikhwele - kusho ukuthi uyathanda." Futhi-ke, lokhu okuthandwa emcabangweni wami kwadonswa ngumhawu futhi omubi onomona, onganginiki imvelaphi, ngoba ungazenza ngaphandle kwezigcawu nezinsolo njengakuma-movie? Imibono yami yothando lokuthi kufanele ibe kanjani, yayifudunyezwa nezincwadi: i-heroine yenani elikhulu nelincane libangela umhawu ngokhetho lwabo olukhethiwe (khumbula okungenani i-olga larina), noma uhlushwa izinsolo ngokwazo.
Kusukela ebuntwaneni, sicabanga ukuthi uthando lwangempela lukhona ngesandla. Futhi, ngendlela, nathi sikuthola kusukela ebuntwaneni. Kuliqiniso, lapho benza izingane, sizokwehluleka futhi sihleke ngisho nokuhlekisa nge-spectrum yemizwa yengane yethu. Kubukeka sengathi imizwa yabantu abadala iyahluka - kepha eqinisweni, umhawu awukho iminyaka, futhi uhlobo lwalo lulodwa lwe-karapuza ononyaka owodwa ubudala, kanye nothando lwesikole, nakumyeni osekhulile.
Igama elifanele
Ngokumangazayo, odokotela bezengqondo, abanezengqondo bahlelwe futhi babiza umhawu, abakwazanga nakanjani ukuthi kuvelaphi, abawuphendulanga nalolo mbuzo, kusobala ukuthi abanamhawu (futhi abavumelani ukuthi kuyini lokhu, ekugcineni, lokho.
Iningi labaphenyi bemiphefumulo yabantu liyavuma ukuthi umhawu umuzwa oyinkimbinkimbi, ngokuyinhloko ehambisana nokwesaba ukulahlekelwa uthando, ukuqashelwa, isikhundla, ukuthonya. Ngokubambisana nokwesaba, kudlalwa indima enkulu ngokuthuka ("Ngincamela kothile!"), Intukuthelo nokomela impahla.
Uma sithatha lo mbono, kuba sobala: umhawu uyakwazi ukuzwa bonke abantu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngisho nezilwane ezincelisayo ziyajwayela lokhu "okuthandekayo". Ngikhumbula ukuthi kufanele ngiqede ikati elidala kanjani, uMfowethu waletha ikati elihle elimnandi. Ukuvela komncintiswano, kuyo yonke imindeni eyathunyelwa kuyo yonke imindeni, yashintsha i-mossi ukuba ingaziwa: ngasikhathi sinye yaba nothando ngendlela engajwayelekile, futhi enolaka futhi nakancane. Futhi uma "monster ngamehlo aluhlaza" kuthinta abafowabo abancane, bacabanga nje ukuthi kwenzani ngemiphefumulo yethu!
Umhawu uchazwa njengomuzwa okhathazayo, obuhlungu nowonakalisayo
Photo: Unsplisish.com.
Inkolelo ijwayelekile ukuthi umhawu yimiphumela yokulimala kwezingane, ngenxa yokuthi umuntu akazange abe nomuzwa wokuzikhulula; Kalula nje, esikhundleni sokuzithemba okwanele, wehliswa. Umuntu onjalo uhlala elindele ukuthi ashiywe umuntu nokuthile okungcono, ngoba akakufanele uthando noma ukwethembeka.
Lokhu kungenxa yalokhu: Ngempela, ngokwezibalo, iningi lama-jelies laphuma emindenini engasebenzi. Kepha, ngaphambili, futhi ubani ongeyena kulowo? Abazali abangajwayelekile (futhi uma unabazali, lokhu akusona isihlamba, kepha ukuqashelwa kwamaqiniso) akusebenzi ezinganeni zazo zokulimala okuthile, futhi okokuqala kwazo zonke izinzuzo zethu zihlupheke kubo. Okwesibili, noma ngabe ulungile ngokuzethemba (wena, ngokwesibonelo, uvukile kusuka kumama nobaba okwaziyo noma isikhathi eside wasebenza ngawe), awusoze wanikeza iziqinisekiso zokuthi awusoze wazi i-cocktail ejulile wokwesaba, intukuthelo nokungabaza.
Ngakho-ke, savumelana ngokuthi lowo mhawu ungomunye wabahle kakhulu, bese empeleni phakathi kwemizwa ejwayelekile yabantu esibhekene nayo ngandlela thile. Sinomona ngathi, umhawu ngathi. Kwenzeka ... ngokuzenzakalelayo! Ngeke sifaka, noma ngaphezulu ukucisha umzamo wayo okwazi noma "ukuqoqa" ukuthi ungaluleke kanjani indawo enhle ukweluleka.
Ngakho-ke, intombi yami, indalo enhle, yakhulisa emndenini oqinile wezinzalamizi futhi yajwayela ukunqanda izifiso zayo, yaphenduka i-fudia ngomzuzwana, uma umyeni wakhe ebambezelekile emsebenzini noma engazange athathe ifoni. "Ngeke ukholelwe ukuthi okuthile esibukweni kuchofoza - futhi konke kuthwala umgwaqo. Intukula, izinhlungu, ukuzwa ukuthi manje uyangikhalela, "kusho intombi.
Ngakho-ke, kusamele sicindezelwe ukwesaba, ukuhlupha kungabaza futhi kuhlukumeze abalingani bethu? Ngenhlanhla, kunamasu asebenzisa okungabhekwa futhi anciphise ubukhulu balokhu "kokuhlaselwa". Kuliqiniso, kubalulekile lapha ukuqonda ukuthi abakwazi ukwenza okuthile komunye umhawu.
Themba kepha qinisekisa
Iqiniso ngukuthi ososayensi bahlukanisa phakathi kwezinhlobo ezine zalo muzwa. Okujwayelekile futhi kuyaqondakala kuwo wonke umuntu - umhawu uyisimo, izimpande zakhe ezingekho ekuthambekeni kwakho ekubonakalisweni okufanele noma ukwesaba okungapheliyo futhi ungazithandi, kodwa esimweni esithile esithuthukisiwe ngenjongo yangempela.
Umona ngu:
Ukwesaba. Kuwo wonke ama-cocktail womhawu, ukwesaba umuzwa ovelele. Ngokwesaba kakhulu akukho lutho olubi: lokhu kuyisibonakaliso sokuhlanganisa wonke amabutho. Kepha ukuvivinya njalo kuyingozi futhi kuyingozi. Gqoka kuleli cala - isiqubulo sethu.
Intukuthelo. Ukwesaba kufakwa emizweni eyisisekelo enamandla - intukuthelo, ekhuluma ngokungezwani kokugakuka kokuba yinto yakho ngokwenzekayo. Ungathanda ukuthanda uma (ucabanga kanjani) ushintshela komunye umuntu? Intukuthelo idinga ukunikela indlela yokuphuma - ukushaya imicamelo ukukusiza.
Ukunuka. I-Gorky, edonsa, ekhetha amabutho ama-battus - inhlanganisela yosizi nokudabukisa ngokwawo, imizwa yokungabi nabulungisa okukhulu nokungalungile okwenzekayo. Lokhu kulimaza kakhulu yonke imizwa yemizwa, akunalo "emuva" ohlangothini.
U-Buddy Sasha wami omuhle, ezolile nokuhamba nge-phlegmacy phakathi kwethu, usanda kushaya yonke inkampani yakhe, ebeka intokazi yakhe isigaba sangempela: Ngabona ukuthi nge-Flirt evulekile ne-bartender yesikhungo lapho sabuthana khona. Nakhu, isizathu sangempela kakhulu sokuthukuthela nokwesaba nokuthuka kungakhuphuka ngaphakathi.
Kodwa-ke, kungani uhambe kude? Ingane yami ezokwamukela kuphela umhlaba wemizwa nemizwa, isivele yahlangana nezimo lapho umhawu kufaneleka. Uphatha ngokuzolile ngezinto ezibalulekile enkundleni yokudlala, kodwa kufanelekile ukungithinta noma ngubani owake wangithinta noma ngabe, uma ngikhuluma naye noma ngithathe isandla!) - Yonke into, yonke, indodana, Hlela, lapho okwesabekayo kuqagelwa: "Manje umama uzongithanda omunye umuntu!" Ngamagama, umhawu ucacile lapho uwela esimweni lapho kungokwemvelo ukwesaba ukuthi ubudlelwano kungenzeka bungaguqulwa ukuze kube ngcono.
Lolu hlobo lomhawu lujwayelekile kuwo wonke umuntu, futhi kaningi luyisibonakaliso ebudlelwaneni bokusungula. Kungani isimo esasisebenza njengomfutho womona? Mhlawumbe inyunyana yakho ibona kangcono kunezikhathi ezinhle kakhulu?
Uma uhlangabeze umhawu wesimo, kubalulekile ukwenza izinto ezimbili: phila ngokugcwele (ukukhala, ukukhathazeka, wabelane nabathandekayo bakho), noma ngabe isifiso sokukhuluma nomlingani Ukudla ongaphakathi ngaphakathi. Ukuphuma kwesikhathi kuzokunikeza ithuba lokuhlangana nawe, bese wehlisa umoya futhi wenze ukubuyekeza: Ngabe kukhona ngempela isizathu sokwesaba nenjabulo? Kwenzeke ngaphambili?
Kepha, mhlawumbe umbuzo oyinhloko ozozibuza ngawo wonke ama-jeep, ngokulandelayo: Ingabe kufanelekile ukukhuluma ngemizwa yabo ngento yomhawu? Iseluleko sethu asifani: kufanelekile! Sebenzisa "imiyalezo", ungahlaseli, ungahlaseli, khuluma ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho nangezici ezaziholele. "Akwaziwa, ukuthula nokusola kwababi kakhulu ngokwesaba futhi bangozini", "Bengingazi ukuthi ukuphi, futhi ngangikhathazeke kakhulu ngokuthi" - Mayelana Nale phrma ungamnisela umlingani wakho, Mtshele ngami.
Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi ngomhawu wesimo akudingi ukulwela ngandlela thile. Futhi yebo, lezi zibonakaliso ezibukhali zingahambisana nothando lwangempela. Kepha uma kungazelelwe umlingani wakho engekho umhawu, akukhulumi nakancane ngokunganakwa kwakhe! Kukhona phakathi kwethu laba bantu abajwayelekile - abantu abazithobayo ezinyaweni zabo, bathande bona nabanye ukuthi bakwazile ukuqeda ukwesaba kwabo ubuhlobo babo. Kuyinto enkulu impela, futhi imvamisa ukungabikho kwesicelo kuwe sokubuyisa sekwedlule isikhathi noma ukuhamba njalo nomngani omkhulu kuvinjelwe imizwa engokwemvelo yemvelo.
Kepha kunezikhathi lapho iziqephu ezizodwa zikhula ngokuya kaningi, futhi manje ukukhathazeka, ukwesaba, izinsolo, intukuthelo kanye nentukuthelo ngizibambe cishe ngaso sonke isikhathi: ngihlala njalo Ufuna ukushayela noma ukubhala umyeni wakho, thola ukuthi wenzani, ukuthinta isikhala sakhe inzalo, ukulawula ukunyakaza kwakhe noxhumana nabo. Phila ngesigqi esinjalo kunzima kakhulu - futhi kunjalo? Imvamisa umuntu ojwayelene nomhawu we-pathological (futhi lesi simo sibizwa nangokuthi), sibeka isiphambano ekuzijabuliseni kwaso kanye nokuzilibazisa, sigxile ngokuphelele entweni yothando lwayo kanye "nokungabaza" Uthando lwakhe.
Imizwa edinga ukulungiswa. Ngaso leso sikhathi, le nkinga ayikwazanga ukuxazulula le nkinga, ngoba umhawu we-pathological uyingxenye ebonakalayo kuphela yeqhwa yezinkinga zengqondo, umnyombo owesabekayo owesaba isizungu nobuhlungu bokwenqatshwa. Kokubili - okuhlangenwe nakho esihlangana ngaso ebuntwaneni, futhi futhi "bheka" isazi sengqondo sizosiza ngabo.
Lapha ngifuna ukukhumbula nge "ohlangothini oluthintekile" futhi ngikhulume ngalabo ababambisene naye onomona. Ngiphinde ngavakashela lolu hlangothi lwemivimbo: Ngase sesatshiswe izinsolo nangezikhalazo, i-donimali ngokulawulwa njalo, yandisa izwi, ibone kuzo zonke izinyathelo zami ezifihliwe inhloso kanye nesifiso "sokuziphatha kwabo" okungenamahloni ". Maye, alikho iphuzu ekuholeni ingxenye yesibili kuchwepheshe: ngaphandle kwesifiso sakhe, akukho lutho oluzovela onomona. Kepha akufanele uzenzele, ukhawulela oxhumana nabo nokunyakaza. Ngazama ukwenza kanjalo, kodwa kwacaca: Iqiniso ukuthi izimbangela zangempela zomhawu azikho ekuziphatheni kwami, kodwa ekulimaleni kwakhe kwengqondo. Enye into ekahle engiyiphathayo, u-Othello okhule ekhaya wathola izizathu zezigcawu nokunganeliseki.
Uhlobo lwesithathu lomhawu lubhekene: izinsolo mayelana nomlingani zincike kulokho ... wena ngokwakho ushintsha! Konke kulula: Ukubona ukuthi lokhu kungenzeka ngakolunye uhlangothi, uphethe ngokuthi kungahle kube nezindaba ezifanayo "ogwini olungalungile".
UMkhandlu Omkhulu: Uma ungumkhandlu, oxhumeka kakhulu, oxhumeka kakhulu noma obhekisiswe ukubuyekeza, uyazi ngezinkinga zami, kufanelekile ukuxhumana nodokotela wezengqondo noma i-psychotherapist
Photo: Unsplisish.com.
Uhlobo lwesine yilona okuthiwa ngumhawu, lapho izinsolo ezingapheli ebubini zaziyimodeli yomndeni, futhi abazali bashintshana ngempela ngaphandle kokufihla izingane zabo ezivela ezinganeni. Ukukhula, izingane ezinjalo azazi ukuthi kunesimo esihlukile, futhi zinomona njalo, kodwa hhayi ngokuqinile: imizwa enjalo ayilethi izinhlungu ezinkulu, kunalokho zibukeka njengokuvuthisa kwangemuva.
Izandla!
UMkhandlu Omkhulu: Uma ungumkhandlu we-pathological, oxhumeka kakhulu noma obhekisiswe ukubuyekezwa, uyazi ngezinkinga zami, kufanelekile ukuxhumana nodokotela wezengqondo noma i-psychotherapist. Kodwa ingabe kukhona uhlelo lokuzisiza, okulandelayo ongakuthola kalula ukuhlaselwa kokwesaba okukhulu nentukuthelo? Kunjalo!
Njenganoma ikuphi, isinyathelo sokuqala senziwa: wabona ukutholakala kwenkinga futhi wabona ukuthi ufuna ukuqeda. Njengomthetho, umnyombo wayo wokuthi awukwazi inani lakho lobuntu obuhlukile futhi uphoqelelwa ukuzithola usebudlelwaneni nomuntu. Njengokulindelekile, ngalesi simo, uzwa ukukhathazeka njalo: Kubonakala ngathi ukuthi noma yimuphi umthelela ovela ngaphandle ungosongo wangempela ebudlelwaneni, futhi ngeke kube khona ubuqotho kuwe.
Kuphakamisa igxathu lesibili lemvelo: Kufanele uphinde uthole umuzwa wenani lakho, okungeke uncike ebukhoneni noma ekungabikho komlingani wakho, ukwethembeka kwalo noma ukungathembeki kwayo. Futhi ukuze ugxile kuwe, udinga ukushintsha wonke umthombo onamandla kakhulu owusebenzisayo ekulawulweni, uphenyo, izinsolo kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho. Konke lesi sitoko sichotshozwa.
Njalo lapho ngizibona ngicabanga nge- "Object", ngathola udaba oluphuthumayo olungadingi ukufika. Ukuhlanza, ukugeza, ukuhlunga izinto - ngemuva kwenyanga yomkhuba onjalo, angigcinanga nje kuphela ukuthi ngifunde ukuqondisa kabusha, kodwa futhi ngihlele ngayo yonke amakhabethe namashalofu efulethini.
Imikhuba ephumelelayo yezokwelapha ezenziwe nge-psychoperapeutic ibalwa onodoli osontekile, ukudweba, ukumodela. Uma ukuhlaselwa komhawu okuthole emsebenzini futhi awukwazi ukubuyela kwangempela lapho inhloko idinga khona umbiko ngokushesha, hamba, yenza ama-squats akhe, yenze ama-squats, ahlele ukugijima okuncane ezungeze ihhovisi.
Isinyathelo sesithathu: Dala umbuthano wakho wezintshisekelo namacala lapho kuzobe khona into yomhawu wakho. Kubalulekile kuwe ukuthi uqaphele ukuthi "kukhona impilo eMars", noma kunalokho, impilo ngaphandle kokhethiweyo wakho, - futhi yinhle, iyathakazelisa futhi igcwele! Lokhu kuqonda akusho ukuthi udinga ukuhlukana ngokuphuthumayo. Ngokuphambene nalokho: Abalingani babo abagcina izintshisekelo zabo bavikele imingcele yabo futhi banesikhala esidumile somuntu, ubuhlobo buvumelana kakhulu, bujulile futhi buzinzile, kunomhawu obubi bomshado.
Ekugcineni, vumela imizwa yakho engemihle ibe! Umhawu ukhathazeke kakhulu, uthwebula sonke isidalwa sethu - kusho ukuthi kuyadingeka ukuyixosha kuphela engqondweni, kodwa futhi kusuka emzimbeni. Esikhathini imizuzu sekukaningi, wena ukudansa, umdanso, gxuma, ukugibela leli senhliziyo, zimemeza, nyakazisa izandla, ashaye umcamelo - ake ukungezwani futhi besabe uhambe. Ngokomthetho wokongiwa kwamandla, imizwa yokuphumula namandla "izofika" endaweni ekhululiwe.
Njengoba uBalzac ethi, ukungabaza okunomona hhayi kumlingani wakhe, kodwa ngokwakhe. Kubalulekile ukwazi ukwesaba kwakho, amandla nezinsizakusebenza. Ulwazi lwalo luyinqubo ehehayo ukwedlula umhawu odla ngaphakathi.