Noma yimuphi umama uyazi ukuthi ingane ikhululekile kakhulu futhi kulula ukulala embhedeni wabazali: Ngenkathi kukhona ingane impela, uzizwa esondelene, ngakho-ke kulula ukuzwa izinkinga, ukugula kanye nobusuku.
Kepha usuku luzofika nini, noma kunalokho, ubusuku lapho ingane kungcono ukulala ngokwakho?
Ngisho nasendabeni yawo wonke amaphupho amabi afanayo, izingxabano nezifo?
Ungasabela kanjani umama wakho lapho indodana yakhe endala icela ukulala naye. Ngabe uyihlo kufanele asabele esicelweni esifanayo sendodakazi? Vuma, ekhanda lami, imicabango emnyama kakhulu ivela, hhayi nakancane ngokunakekelwa kwabazali.
Kwenqatshelwe emiphakathini eminingi isihloko se-incest asikhohliswayo eqinisweni. Akaxoxiswanga, kepha empucukweni yanamuhla, ngeshwa, kuvamile. Ukuzithoba kubhekwa njengokobulili phakathi kwezihlobo eziseduzane egatsheni eliphansi noma elibheke phezulu: phakathi kwezingane nabazali, phakathi kwezingane emndenini owodwa. Kodwa-ke, ngenkathi kusesiko laseRussia, igama elithi "ukuhlukunyezwa" elaziwa entshonalanga lalisanda - lokho, ukusetshenziswa. Ngokuqondile ukuxhumana ngocansi kungenzeka kungabikho, kepha umuntu usetshenziselwa imicabango yabo futhi aziphathe naye, ngokusekelwe kule mbono.
Isibonelo, emndenini, lapho kudala khona umama nobaba behamba ibangana, indodakazi encane ingathatha indawo kababa wowesifazane amthandayo. Mhlawumbe ngeke amthinte ngomunwe, kepha azogqoka, adabule, ageze ngokuncoma futhi aqaphe ngomhawu izinsimbi zawo. Ngokuvamile, ziziphatha njengomyeni wendodakazi yakhe. Noma umama angazama kwiNdodana yezingubo ezintsha, ngeke wazi ukuthi uzokudelela umnyango wendlu yokugezela, ulinde isimbali ngoMashi 8, dumisa indodana yakho ngezandla eziqinile kanye nehlombe leduna elithembekile, elihlala likhona. Yize kungabhekana nalo msebenzi kumyeni wakhe uqobo.
Ngendlela, izingane emindenini enjalo zivame ukubona kahle ukuthi maqondana nabo nabazali baziphatha banentshisekelo kakhulu. Akunakwenzeka ukuthi umfana atshele abangane bakhe ukuthi umama wakhe uhlola amasheya naye, futhi intombazane ngeke isho izintombi zayo ukuthi ubaba azi ngosayizi welineni lakhe. Ngokweqiniso qaphela ukuthi ibanga phakathi kwabo nabazali bayaphulwa. Futhi kungcono ukuthula ngakho, ngoba uma kungenjalo ungathotshiswa futhi uhlukaniswe phakathi kwabangane bakho.
Ubudala be-Psychology bokwata iminyaka engu-9 kuya ku-12 eminyakeni yobudala bentsha. Okusho ukuthi, ingane ivuselela ngokomzimba, ngokwengqondo, ilungiselela ukuqhuma kwama-hormonal kanye nentshisekelo ebukhali emkhakheni wezocansi. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuzimela ngokuphelele kubazali sekuvele kukhula kulo nyaka: izintshisekelo zalo, izigqi zokuphila, abangane, ukuthambekela kanye nokuzilibazisa, amathalenta abo, imidlalo ayithandayo.
Sekuvele kunomqondo wemingcele yayo, indawo eseduze lapho ungaqhubeka khona esimemweni. Kungakho umngane oyedwa udlale kuphela esikoleni, kanti omunye angamenyelwa ekhaya. Abanye bomuntu abavela ezihlotsheni abamba, futhi othile udlula. Futhi umbhede wakho uyindawo yokuphumula ngokuphelele nokuzenzela wena. Sekela ingane yakho ekwakhekeni kwalezi zinqubo kuwumsebenzi wabazali. Kepha abaningi hhayi ngaphambi kwalokho. Izingane ziba yindlela yokuthi zikhohlisene, ukuziphindisela kanye nenkulumo yokungathandi.
Kwenzekile ukuzwa ukuthi umama uyolala nendodana yakhe, futhi umyeni wakhe wayenendawo yokuhlala egumbini lokuphumula. Le yincazelo ehlelekile, kepha empeleni kuyindlela yabokuthi abazali bayisho komunye nomunye ukuthi bakhohliwe komunye nomunye. Ngasikhathi sinye, umama agcizelela ukuthi amadoda akhe ayaqhubeka nokuthanda futhi awudinge. Futhi kwangathi lo muntu angaba yindodana yakhe. Vele, konke lokhu akuyona inhloso embi. Izenzo ezinjalo nezinhloso zabo akuvamile zamukelwa.
Kuyiqiniso, emindenini yezingane ezisencane kanye nezingane ezincane zesikole, uhlobo lokuziphatha lunjalo ukumuka kwabazali ekusokeni kobulili. Futhi iphuzu lapha alilona iphutha lomyeni wakhe noma umfazi wakhe. Bobabili bakhetha uhlobo olunjalo lwebanga, bebhala ukungabaza kwabo ezinkingeni zokulala ezinganeni.
Lokhu kwenzeka kaningi emindenini emangale yinganekwane yokuthi "konke impilo yezingane." Ngemuva kwalokho ungavala amehlo akho futhi "ugcine" izingane kusuka kumaphupho amabi uye kwezinye izici zokuhlala ndawonye ekugcineni kwesikhungo. Kwenzeka futhi emindenini ekholelwa enganekwane "Sinobungane." Lapho-ke azikho izimfihlo phakathi kwamalungu omndeni, kodwa, ngaphezu kwemingcele yomuntu siqu. Ngakho-ke, yilowo nalowo udlala izindima eziningi kuwo wonke umuntu. Indodana ithathe uBaba, indodakazi - umama, njll.
Kuyafaneleka ukusho ukuthi kunzima ukuthi izingane ziphazamise le ndlela yokuziphatha. Bona, njengesixhumanisi esisengozini enkulu kunazo zonke, bavumelanisa nezidingo zomndeni ukuze balondoloze ukulinganisela okunamahloni phakathi kwabazali. Uma indodana kaNdodana noMama izosindisa umndeni emahlangeni wabazali, ukubheja nokuhlukana, izolungisa. Indodakazi nayo izosindisa "uyise ngokukhungatheka kumkakhe.
Ngakho-ke, abazali abakhathazekile ngale nkinga kufanele banqume ukuthi bafuna ukusebenzisa izingane zabo ukuze bazinze ubudlelwano emndenini? Into enzima kakhulu kulokhu akukhona ukuzama ukufihla ngemuva kwezimpikiswano zokulunga ukuthi konke kwenziwa kuphela ngezinhloso zezingane.
Isimo esilimazayo sezingane ezinjalo ezivuthiwe kuzoba umuzwa ongenakwenzeka wokuzihlazisa bona kanye nomuzwa womsebenzi, abazobanika abazali impilo yabo yonke.
UMaria Dyachkova, isazi sezengqondo, udokotela wezokwelapha umndeni kanye nokuqeqeshwa okuholayo kweSikhungo Sokukhulisa Ukukhula KwaMarika Khazin