"Ngifuna ingane, kepha ngesaba." Lawa magama kufanele azwe kaningi kunalokho engingathanda. Futhi bathi abesifazane babo abaneminyaka engaba ngu-30 ubudala, kuyo yonke impumelelo futhi bengaguquki. Kubukeka sengathi noma yiziphi izinhloso ezihambisana ne- "zinokuthile" noma "zibe ngumuntu" ngehlombe. Umsebenzi, amafulethi, imishini, ukuhamba nemicimbi, abangane, izinto zokuzilibazisa - kulula! Kepha izingane - cha! Kuyethusa ukulahla izimpilo eziphila, futhi zikushintshe kokuzuzisa okungabonakali kusuka kuma-diaper, ama-diaper, ukuhamba emapaki ngenqola kanye nengane ememeza kuyo.
Kepha lokhu akwenzeki kuwo wonke umuntu, izingane ezivela kakhulu zisazalwa, naphezu kokwesaba nokwesaba.
Manje yini le nto? Kuvela kanjani ukuthi intombazanyana encane ephefumulayo yesaba ngasikhathi sinye ukuba ngumama futhi angalokothi abe nguye?
I-Paradox yilokho ukulungela ukuba ngumama kuncike ezintweni eziningi, futhi ukulungela kaningi kusuka ekuvulekeni kwengaphakathi kamuva okujwayelekile komama.
Into enjalo ibizwa ngokuthi "i-neurosis yezenhlalo". Ngobudala nangesimo senhlalo, eminyakeni engama-30, kuyadingeka ukufuna ukuba nezingane noma vele ube ngumama okungenani ingane eyodwa. Isifiso sokuthi sicindezele lona wesifazane ukuba azikholise ukuthi ingane ilungile futhi yinhle, yize empeleni yesaba izingane! Noma kunalokho, yimaphi amadivaysi okuphila apholile okuzodingeka ahambe ayoba ngumama. Lapho efuna imvume yeNhlangano, owesifazane walwela ukungena "ngokujwayelekile", ecashile futhi ekhipha ukwesaba kwabo ukukhulelwa.
Ngaphezu kokubukwa komphakathi ngobudala obujwayelekile bokuba ngumama, kukhona nokwesaba okukhulelwe noma ukubeletha .. Ngezindlela eziningi, kuchazwa ngokuhlangenwe nakho kobuhlungu komuntu okuhambisana nezingane. Ngokuvamile, kuyadingeka ukuzwa mayelana nokukhishwa kwezisu okwakumele kwenziwe ebusheni lapho kwakungekho noyedwa, ongalulekwa ngalo ngokwamukelwa kwesinqumo esinjalo. Kuyo le minyaka, isifiso sokuba ngumama sivuthwa, kepha okuhlangenwe nakho kokugcina kubazisa intando yakhe. Ngempela "endaweni efanayo 'Owesifazane uyavuma:" Ngifuna ingane, kodwa ngiyesaba. "Ngemuva kwakho konke, kuzoletha isikhumbuzo sokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe nokuhlanya, ngokuvamile a Isipiliyoni sigcinwa imfihlo kwabathandekayo.
Ukwesaba ukuzalwa kwengane, ngokusho kwabelaphi bemindeni kanye nodokotela wezengqondo, nakho kudluliswa ngefa. Isipiliyoni sonke sobuhlungu, ukuhlupheka okuqoqiwe emkhakheni ongazi lutho emndenini kuvezwa emihlanyeni yabesifazane banamuhla ngokuzalwa kwezingane: ekukhaleni okubuhlungu, ukushaywa kabi noma imiphumela engenakulinganiswa kokuzalwa kwengane. Futhi naphezu kweqiniso lokuthi manje lisagada umama wezempilo kanye nengane yesikhathi esizayo, isipiliyoni sonke sezokwelapha, izidakamizwa ezisizayo, kanye nobudlelwano bezincwadi ezahlukahlukene, ukutholakala kwezincwadi ezahlukahlukene, naphezu kwawo wonke umuntu wesaba abesifazane kokuzizwa okuthile okungenangqondo ukhulelwe.
Futhi basabale "kodwa" mayelana nobuzali - "umyeni akafuni." Ehhovisi lesazi sezengqondo, kuvela ukuthi empeleni basaba bobabili. Ingane ibuye isivivinyo yikho konke okukhona kuma-pares. Futhi kaningi, ukuze unganyakazisi okusunguliwe, kepha ukulinganisela okunamahloni, lo mbhangqwana uyenqaba ukuzalwa kwezingane ngezikhathi ezingcono. Kodwa-ke, abashadikazi, ukuzalwa kwengane kusho ukuxhumana kwabo njengamadoda nabesifazane bempilo, okungenani iqhaza labazali. Futhi lesi yinhloso engathandeki, ngoba khona-ke ingatholakala ukuthi bobabili bazolahlekelwa omunye komunye nomhlangano nomlingani ofanelekile. Noma ukuzalwa kwengane kuzokwenza isiyaluyalu ezweni elipholile elipholile lokunamathiselwa okuqinile komunye nomunye. Mhlawumbe uma lokhu kusondelana bekufunwa futhi kudingekile, kodwa ngenhlanganisela kangangokuba konke izinsongo ezingaba khona kufanele kugcinwe kude, kufaka phakathi ukuzalwa kwengane. Uzocabanga ngakho, mhlawumbe wenzeke ukuthi uhlangane umbhangqwana, lapho umyeni nenkosikazi abahambi abahle kakhulu, ubuhlobo babo buqine ngokungenangqondo, noma kungenzeki ukwakha ubuhlobo nanoma ngubani omunye wabo - owesibili uzokwakha Qaphela konke. Indawo yesithathu ayinikeziwe nhlobo, lo mbhangqwana uvikele i-Mirka yabo. Ingane kuleli cala ingumhlaseli. Futhi ukuzalwa kwakhe kuzohlehliselwa ngokungazi, noma ngabe umbhangqwana kufanele afune kuye. Futhi ekuhlolweni kokukhulelwa, umucu owodwa kuphela ozokhanya.
Futhi lokhu kuyingxenye yokuhlangenwe nakho okuhambisana nomzali - ubude bomama kanye nobaba, okungaba yinde mayelana. Futhi ezingxoxweni zethiyori uqobo, izimpendulo azitholakali. Kepha ukuthola umbono ongajwayelekile, ngaphansi kwalapho ungazibheka khona kanye nesimo sakho sengqondo esihlokweni esingenakugwenywa, njengokukhetha, ukuthi ngabe ungumzali ...
UMaria Dyachkova, isazi sezengqondo, udokotela wezokwelapha umndeni kanye nokuqeqeshwa okuholayo kweSikhungo Sokukhulisa Ukukhula KwaMarika Khazin