I-Epigraph:
Umfula uqala nge-bitch eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka
Kahle, futhi ubungani buqala ngokumamatheka ...
(Kusuka ezingomeni zobuntwana bethu)
Ngikholwa ukuthi ngiyakholelwa kuzo zonke izilwane ...
Zonda abangane bomyeni wakho? Futhi yilokho kuphela ngoba kufanele uhlanganyele njalo isidakwa VASYA, khona-ke ibhizinisi lokuqhuma ibhodlela ebhodleleni lakho? Noma umfazi uPetya, owaphakade wakho oshiyelwe ama-bachers akho adume? Ungaphuthumi ukushayela ama-bastards entanyeni! Uyabona ukuthi indoda yakho ithululelwa kakhulu lapho uNareskov nabangane bakhe. Futhi akukuhlukumezi kude nasekhaya. Ngakho-ke, yenza sengathi uthemba ngokuphelele okhethiwe wakho: bathi, khuluma nobani, othandekayo, akukho lutho olubi kuwe ngeke ngisho ukuthi ungabuyisele emuva. umuntu uyagula. Kodwa-ke, khumbula: Kumele baphile kuphela ama-buddies alimazayo angenamaziyo endlini - bese edlula. Futhi akunambi kakhulu ukuhlupheka - ngenxa yesithandwa sakho. Futhi ngeke kusebenze ngaphandle kobungani besilisa!
Kepha ukuthola ukuthi ngubani ovela kuyingozi enkulu emndenini wakho wokuzwa, "isitha" kufanele sazi ubuso. Ngakho-ke, zithathe ngesandla futhi uhlangane nabangane bendoda yakho eduze. Bese ubakhomba ngokuya ngohlu olungezansi. Kuyo, uzothola izinga lengozi yazo zonke "isilwane" futhi, uma uthatha isinqumo sokuyixosha endaweni yakho yokuhlala ekhaya, ungavula i-Hunt kuyo yonke imithetho.
Umntwana
Hlobo luni lwesilo? Lolu uhlobo lokungasebenzi kahle, ukudoba abalandeli kanye nobhiya. Ngokunokwenzeka, kusebenza nendoda yakho kusukela umfundi noma izikhathi zesikole. Yize ayengazalwa emsebenzini. Konke akudingayo kusuka kumuntu othandekayo wakho ukuthi kwesinye isikhathi umenza ukuba abe yinkampani ekuhambeni emvelweni. Ngesikhathi esibandayo, isimemo sokwephula ikamu letende eduze kwe-reservoir lingahlukahluka kulokhu kugudluzwa ezweni elifudumele, ekugezeni idolobha noma kunoma yimuphi umcimbi okusho ukuphuza ubhiya.
Izimpawu zohlobo. Elk - empeleni, isilwane esingenangozi. Okuwukuphela kwe- "anmunt" ukuthi akakaze anikeze abangane bakhe ukuba abambe abathandekayo naye. Uma u-Elk ngokwakhe enomndeni, uyothanda angenise ezinganeni zakhe zokuvakasha (ikakhulukazi, owesilisa) kunengxenye ebizayo. U-Elked okholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi ezinye zokuzijabulisa zisungulwa kuphela amadoda. Amantombazane, ngombono wakhe, ayakwazi ukuwohloka i-klevel enhle kakhulu futhi ubuze kakhulu umlamuli omuhle kabhiya.
Izici zokuzingela okunengqondo. I-moose akudingekile ukuqothula izimpande, ngemuva kwakho konke, akusona isilwane. Kwanele ukumbulala okumbalwa kwezindawo zokudlela ukuze akhumbule - amanye amakhona avikelekile emadodeni akho angowakho, futhi anqatshelwe ngokwezigaba ukukhwela lapho. Isibonelo, uma i-Elk inikezela ngesithandwa sakho sokudoba ngqo ngosuku lwakho lokuzalwa noma ukugeza ngoDisemba 31, sibonisa ubunzima futhi singavumeli ukuba yindoda yakho. Uma okwakho beba izulu futhi babhekisele eqinisweni lokuthi "umsoco, bathi, umfazi waya ...", une-Trump Car Card - Sula izimpikiswano esikhundleni sesenzo sakho. Tshela isithandwa sakho ukuthi umthande kakhulu, yingakho ungafuni ukumbeka ezinsukwini ezibalulekile kuwe. Futhi ngokungabalulekanga kangako - kungani ungangivumeli ukuba ngihlesi nge-elk? Kuphephile ngokuphelele. Abesifazane abasenkampanini e-Elk abatholakali, ungaqiniseka. Yebo, nobhiya - nokho hhayi i-vodka. Futhi, uma unenhlanhla, khona-ke umyeni usabulewe ekhaya.
Inja
Hlobo luni lwesilo? Inja inikelwe kakhulu kumlingani wakho noma isoka lakho futhi ukuphendula ilinde ukusekelwa nosizo olufanayo. Njengomthetho, nomuntu okhethiwe, i-PSA ixhuma amabutho, ezemidlalo noma obunye ubungane obunesibindi. Inja isinqume kaningi umngani ezimweni ezinzima, futhi intando yakho iyamkhokhela okufanayo. Kwakunesikhathi lapho balala esikhwameni esisodwa sokulala (amakamelo, igumbi, iwadi) kanye nokwesokugcina ukuqhekeka ngokweqiniso kwengxenye. Inja ikholelwa ngobuqotho ukuthi kusukela ngesikhathi akukho okushintshile. Futhi uma omunye wabo "i-gorbushka" eyikhulu (ngesimo sendawo ethokomele eyenziwe ekhaya, ubuhle bokudla okumnandi), kungani ungabelani konke lokhu nomngane omkhulu?
Izimpawu zohlobo. Ngokuyinhloko, awukho umonakalo okhethekile we-PSA. Ngaphezu kwalokho, angacela ukusetshenziselwa noma yimuphi umzuzu noma bukhoma (uma kungokwethemba). Noma ubuze imali ezikweletini. Futhi othandekayo wakho akasoze amenqaba, ngokweqiniso, esimweni esinjalo, ama-pes awasoze enqaba. Ngaphezu kwalokho, "ama-rafs" ezinjeni zakhe ezithembekile Umuntu wakho ubhekene nobunzima: ubungane naye bungcwele. Futhi-ke, uma usizo olunobungane ludingeka kwenye indawo ezungeze umbuthano we-polar, othandekayo wakho, ngaphandle kokungabaza, uzokhumula ihange futhi uzokufuna ukunikela. Futhi uma ukucindezeleka kuzoqala impilo yakho yesatellite, akungabazi nokuthi inja izohlala endlini yakho futhi izonikelwa ku-brandy ngeshwa.
Izici zokuzingela okunengqondo. Ukuzama ukuxosha inja endlini - icala alinangqondo futhi liyingozi. Indoda yakho ingakhungathekiswa hhayi kumahlaya nakuwe amabili ukukhetha iPSA. Uma inja ibiseningi kakhulu, zama ukuyilayisha ngokweqile. Ukuyilayisha ngezicelo ezivelele kakhulu zosizo olunobungane nolwezezimali - futhi, ngemuva kwesithandwa sakho. Ungakhohlwa ukuxwayisa i-PSA ukuthi lokho okushoyo kuphakathi kwakho futhi umcela ukuthi angakuniki umyeni wakhe. Futhi ngizotshela ithoni elalihlelayo: Bathi, Owekho ngesizotha, ngeke neze athi, kodwa empeleni isikhathi eside ezikweletini njengasesilika (angathanda ukuboleka noma kuphi ( Kwi-sanatorium kungaba kuhle ukuhlela!), ngemisebenzi isizophuma (Thola indawo efudumele!) Yebo, nangesikhathi sesikhathi sokuxazulula okuthile ... awukwazi ukwesaba: inja ngeke inikeze wena. Uma inja yomyeni wakho empeleni ingeyona inja, kodwa i-freezer ne-gnitza, izodubula maduze izinduku - khona-ke uNkulunkulu wanganqikazi, umngani ngokwakhe uzomcela ngosizo. Yebo, uma umuntu wendoda yakho eyinja yangempela, ethembekile, uzokubuza ukuthi ungakusiza kanjani kangcono. Ukusuka emphefumulweni umbonge futhi ungazisoli ngombhoxo ekhaya lakho kuye - yini okufanele uyigibele isilo esihle?
Ingulube
Hlobo luni lwesilo? Ingulube inganamathela endodeni yakho noma kuphi - kokunye, esitolo nasenkambeni ejwayelekile. Lokhu kungukuthi nje isilwane esikwazi isikhashana esisesikhathini sakho kunazo zonke sokumemezela indoda yakho ngebhodlela le-vodka noma limeme ngaphandle kwakho emcimbini osolisayo. Ngasikhathi sinye, kuzo zonke izimangalo zakho, izingulube zizokhuluma ngawe kumuntu wesithathu, ngisho nasebusweni bakho: "Futhi kulimaza kangakanani kuwe? Konke lokhu kwethu makudlule ngawe! Noma usukunikeze ukuthi ungakwethembi? " Konke lokhu kubeka umuntu wakho ngendlela enonya - futhi, maqondana nengulube, nakuwe. Futhi ingulube idingekile kuphela! Ngemuva kwalokho, semukele okwesithathu, noma ukwelula izinto zakho ezinhle "Baba", wamshaya ehlombe futhi wazwelana naye: "Ungakhubeki, kepha uyancibilikisa intuthu yakho! Ta-ah-a-kaya bitch! "
Izimpawu zohlobo. Ingulube, njengomthetho, ayinhlanhla ebudlelwaneni nabesifazane. Noma ethola uhhafu, akuzona isikhathi eside. Ngakho-ke, uyacasula kakhulu lapho othile ehamba kahle. Ukuqonda ukuthi othandweni, uzophumelela kakade, ingulube ithanda ukudidanisa inhlangano yalokho obaba bomndeni futhi ibabeke abafazi. Lokhu kukhulekele ukuziphindisela okuthile ngobuqotho bakhe.
Izici zokuzingela okunengqondo. Kusuka enjabeni kuyadingeka ukuqeda ngokungapheli - uma kungenjalo ngeke kunikeze kuze kube kubhubhisa umndeni wakho. Indlela elula futhi enobuntu yokuheha isicucu sengulube ukuqala nge-lover yakho ngokudlala ingulube, bese uyicindezela ngaphansi kwetafula ledolo. Into esemqoka ukuthi izingulube zikholelwa ukuthi uphefumula ukungalingani kuye. Ngemuva kwalokho ngokungabazeki uzoqala ukubonisa izimpawu zokuphendula ukunaka kwakho - ngokuzumayo okungenani nawe, ekugcineni, "Break"? Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukushaya umngani kumngane - upholile kakhulu futhi upussy! I-Pepper Flirting, vele, ungasusi esweni lakho lesisu. Mhlawumbe uzobuza umbuzo oqondile wobungani, lapho azokhukhuleka khona, "Bonke abesifazane bayiziwula, futhi okwakho kungubuwula wonke umuntu!" Yebo, uma wena, ecaleni eligcwalisile, tshela umyeni wakho, ukuthi izingulube zidonsa kanjani izincomo ezithophayo kanye namacebo wokuthi "wayezokwenze ujabule, ngokungafani nabanye ..." Nakhu abanye ubungani.
IHANSI
Hlobo luni lwesilo? I-Goose yinyoni ekhuphukile enjalo ehlale inezimpumelelo zakho ngaphambi kwabesilisa bakho, kancane kancane zikhuthaze ukuba zibe yizo zonke izihlukaniso ezingabazisayo. Imvamisa, goose indiza kubampofu emsebenzini noma "welula" kusuka ekude, okusindwa yizakhiwo zobuntwana. Isibonelo, i-goose kufoni yakho epholile ephathekayo, kusudi ebizayo kanye namadayimane cufflinks naphakathi kwecala lithi: "Yebo, udoti - uwine ekhasino! Funa, ngizokutshela ukuthi ukubheja kulungile kuphi? ". Noma kwimibala ukupenda ukuthengwa kwemoto entsha noma i-cottage, echaza: "Yebo, abafana babolekile abagunyaziwe, izimo ze-chic - cabanga, nhlobo awukwazi ukunikela. Nikeza ifoni? " Izinketho zingenzeka uma ngabe i-goose yakho ye-goose ivela kumkhakha owodwa ochwepheshe. Ngemuva kwalokho ama-jaose jacket angabukeka kanjena: "Yebo, ngine-dissertation, ngicabangele ephaketheni lakho. Ama-Dellections: Ngangingu-Ivan Ivanovich Knyama Futhi iqiniso lokuthi isikhathi eside futhi lafaka ngokuqinile u-Ivan Ivanovich ngokushesha lixosha abasebenzi abamlethela utshwala, futhi intombi yakudala uMariya u-Ivanna ubhala impilo "yokuziphatha okubi", i-gose ayinandaba. Esikhundleni salokho, kudingeka nje ukuthi abe nguye - ukuthi umyeni wakho uhlala phansi esigodini. Ngemuva kokufaka umlingani ku-adventure, i-goose uqobo uqobo, njengomthetho, uyoma emanzini. Futhi-ke ingakhathalela kalula ngawe ngamagama athi: "Hhayi-ke, loch ingeyakho! Kufanele sazi ukuthi ngubani okufanele ahlanganyele nobani impilo yakho! " Futhi ngasikhathi sinye, kungcolisa izimpaphe zaKhe, ukuthi kusobala impela - impilo kumele ihlotshaniswe naye! Akunzima ukuqagela ukuthi yini ehambisa uGusem: Lokhu kungumona webhanali kanye nobuntu bokuzalwa. Kepha njengoba engaboni futhi akaziqondi umngani wakhe - okungukuthi, umyeni wakho uyimfihlakalo.
Izimpawu zohlobo. I-Goose idla izakhiwo ezipholile: waphupha konke impilo yakhe engcono kunawo wonke umuntu, kodwa akuzange kukwazile kuye. Futhi uyahlupheka kuye ngezinga elinjalo, ukuthi uyakwazi ngisho nokushiya umuntu othile kusuka kothile noma ama-cufflinks (kanye ne-blonde enhle!) - Uma kuphela "ukungcola" phambi komngane. I-Guseu iyithonya elifushane impela, umuzwa wokuthi kulokhu okwesibili kuwukuphola kwayo kuphela amaqanda. Futhi kusukela ekujuleni komphefumlo, i-goose isabona ukuthi empilweni inephutha, khona-ke izama ukwehlisa ukudakwa okuphumelelayo.
Izici zokuzingela okunengqondo. Vele, i-goose kungcono ukuba nayo etafuleni eline-apula esembokweni ngaphandle kwetafula njengomngane. Kepha ukugibela, udle le nyoni, kufanele uyibambe. Kulokhu, ukukhiqizwa kufanele kuqhutshwe kahle ngokusebenzisa ubuthakathaka bayo. Isicelo sosizo lwe-goose akuwokwethusa: Ngeke anikeze imali ngemali, kepha nansi izeluleko "eziwusizo" - sicela njalo! Akunjalo ungavumeli othandekayo ukulandela amathiphu we-goose, futhi ngisho nesikhathi eside kuzodingeka athole imiphumela. Indlela efakazelwe kakhulu "ye-Antgusin" ukusetha zijule kakhulu kunangaphambili. Umzuzwana we-Uluchi futhi utshele uGusu "Emthekweni" mayelana nempumelelo yesidlo sendoda yakho ebhizinisini, ekuqothulweni, njengoba ocansini ngokulingana akwenzi, nomboniso womuntu omusha we-mink, othandekayo wakhe (uma ungenayo IT, ungaba yi-guss futhi umbonge intombi). Lapha uzobona, i-legs goose eningi endlini yakho ngeke ibe!