"Umama nencazelo yempilo." Leli igama elinye lamanoveli adume kakhulu we-psychotherapist enegama lomhlaba u-Irvina Yala. Futhi igama lakhe alingcono kunelesihloko sendatshana yanamuhla nokulala.
Mhlawumbe ayisakho umthetho we-psychotherapeapeutic ongenayo ngaphandle kokuthinta lesi sihloko. Futhi ngokuqinisekile sonke isikhathi sesibili siphela ngezindaba ze- "Mayelana Mama".
Umama, siyakufuna noma cha, kwenza umnikelo omkhulu kusuka ohlangothini lwezinto eziphilayo nezengqondo kulabo esiyikho. I-Psychoanalysis ihlola amaklayenti isihloko sobudlelwano bento, lapho into ebaluleke kakhulu ngumama. Noma yimuphi umama: Unothando lokuthuthumela, ukukhathalela, ubucayi, unomusa noma obandayo, olungatholakali, lungekho. Umama, obeka ingane yakhe ngesandla esinamandla, noma umama owazinikela emseni wesiphetho esiyinselele futhi angagcina indinganiso yokuphila yengane yakhe. Umama, lapho ungafuthelana khona, noma umama, okungekho emthethweni futhi okunesisindo, ukuthi ungaletha kanjani ...
Akunandaba ukuthi kuphole kanjani, sizokhuluma ngomama.
Futhi lokhu kusesihlalweni njengabahlaziyi besihlalo mayelanamama abangacatshangwa. Empilweni, kuyilapho umama uyaphila, futhi kukhona ukuxhumana nalo, ukuxhumana kuyavela ngokwenqubo ekhethekile, okwanele ngama-stereotypes amaningi athi "mama ungcwele", "mama kumele athande."
Ukulala amaphupho ethu namuhla mayelana nokuthi kudingekile kanjani kumama wami, kepha akunakwenzeka ngokuya ngonengqondo yangaphakathi.
"Leli phupho beliphupha iminyaka eminingana, libuyela ekuhlukahlukani okuhlukile, kodwa ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokuphela okufanayo.
Ngiya ngikhetha umama emzini wakhe nasezokuthutha ngihlala nami, endlini yami. Kubukeka sengathi mdala, futhi ngakho-ke kuyadingeka ukuthi ngikwazi ukumnakekela. Sihleli esitimeleni, esitimeleni noma kwezinye izinto zokuhamba, silinde ukuhamba. Kwelinye lamaphupho, siqala ukuhambisa bese siphuthuma ezindleleni ezisele. Kwelinye iphupho, isitimela asihambi ndawo. Ephusheni lesithathu, sivakashela ojayelana ngomjaho oshiywe ekugcineni. "
Ukunakekela umama wakudala, isilinganiso salokhu okukhathalela kakhulu akufanele sibe umsebenzi, kepha ukukhethwa kwenkululeko yokuzikhethela
Photo: Pixabay.com/Ru.
Emaphulweni alokhu, uSnoviditsa uveze ukuthi la maphupho aqala ukuphupha kusukela lapho umama okhulile wasala yedwa kwelinye idolobha, futhi kunezinkulumo ezivilaphayo ngokuthi kwakudingeka ukuthi athathe futhi aphile ndawonye.
Impela ubopha ikhanda lokho, bathi, Yebo, kuyadingeka. Kepha iphupho likaSnovidice libonisa ukuthi impilo kanye noMama iyisiphetho sokuthi lo mthamo awunazo amathemba, yize ene- "Right" yamaphuzu okubukwa awukwazi ukwehluka.
Ezingxoxweni zangaphakathi zamaphupho, uzitshela ukuthi wayengakulungele ukuphila okunjalo, lokho, naphezu kokwethembeka komqondo, akukho ithuba lokuqalisa kwakhe ngempumelelo.
Angifuni ukuhoxisa imodeli ethile efanayo empikiswaneni yokuthi ngabe kuyadingeka yini ukunakekela umama wakudala. Izimo zempilo zinephethini eyingqayizivele, ngoba yonke iminwe yomunwe ihlukile. Kwesinye isikhathi isipiliyoni esihlangene sokuphila nomzali asinikezi amandla nhlobo, kodwa sisusa ezinhlangothini zombili: ezinganeni nakubazali. Ngokuphila okuningi okuhlukile, okubuhlungu, okumunyu kuyaqongelelwa. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, imizwa yokuba necala nokudumazeka. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, isithwathwa, intukuthelo, ukuthi impilo ehlanganayo imane ifakazele lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho futhi ikusonge ngamandla amasha kwabezindaba.
Iphupho lamaphupho ethu lithi ngesinye isikhathi nonina, "Mamina" - kuyabonakala kuye. Nginomama, kuhle lapho ukuxhumana ngesimo se-ultrasters yezenhlalo, ukungabaza kanye nemfundiso buthaka. Bese unakekela umama osemdala, isilinganiso salokhu ukunakekelwa kakhulu akusona umsebenzi, kepha ukukhetha kwenkululeko yokuzikhethela.
Ngiphupha ukuthi umbuzo oxazululwa ngokuphila nomama wayengeke abukeke njengesitimela, kodwa njengemoto, ngemuva kwesondo lokuqondisa elihlala kulo. Kumgibeli wesitimela esibambisweni nje: Kuhamba lapho indlela ibekwa khona ngejubane lapho umshayeli alethwe khona. Emotweni, umshayeli ulawula isimo. Futhi lokhu kusho ukuthi umshayeli uzonquma ukuthi, ngasiphi isivinini, futhi azoya kuyo.
Sifisela amaphupho ethu ukuthi ahlale phansi "ngemuva kwesondo" kulolu daba.
Ngiyazibuza ukuthi uphupha ini? Izibonelo zamaphupho akho athumela ngeposi: [email protected]. Ngendlela, amaphupho kulula kakhulu ukuwaveza uma encwadini eya kumhleli uzobhala izimo zokuphila okwandulelayo, kepha okubaluleke kakhulu - imizwa nemizwa ngesikhathi sokuvuka kuleli phupho.
UMaria Dyachkova, isazi sezengqondo, udokotela wezokwelapha umndeni kanye nokuqeqeshwa okuholayo kweSikhungo Sokukhulisa Ukukhula KwaMarika Khazin