Amahloni - Kanjani ... okuncane kulo msindo! Kubukeka sengathi lo muzwa awukaze ube ngathi isikhathi eside, abantu abadala abazethembayo abazi ngabo uma kungenjalo bonke, kakhulu. Kubukeka sengathi wahlala ndawo ndawo ebuntwaneni obukude njengohlobo lokuhlangenwe nakho olunganekwane, okungabusi phezu kwangempela. Noma usakweleta?
Abanye bethu bebengezwa imishwana: "Yebo, awunamahloni kanjani"? Ngokubambisana nalawa magama, i-armarser yeza kithi, ingabonakali noma isobala, ukwesaba nokukhanya kwesaba. Babexhumene nokudideka okuyisisekelo: Kuyanamahloni - kufana? Yini okufanele ngiyenze manje ukuze ngithole ukuthi ngingalungisa kanjani lokho engikwenzile? Lokhu kudideka kwavela ngoba umuzwa wehlazo awujwayele ingane, akazalwa enaye, ayinayo i-organic uma ingavezwa, imvelaphi. Cabanga: Uphila nje, yenza okuthile okufunayo, futhi kungazelelwe uzolengisa umuntu onenjongo, omkhulu futhi owesabekayo futhi ngentukuthelo, ukudumazeka nokukhuthazela kusikisela. Isithombe esabekayo, kunjalo? Kepha uma konke okuhambisana namahloni kungathandeki kangako (Bona ukuthi mangaki amagama amabi apendwe esiwasebenzise kulesi sigaba esincane!) Kungani kudingeka amahloni angenalwazi futhi angaziwa?
Ekuqaleni, ihlazo lalisebenza njengenhloso enhle: ukunqanda ama-gust ethu aphansi, ukufundisa ubuntu kithi
Photo: Unsplisish.com.
Ngaphandle kofakazi
Amahloni - avumile umuzwa. Akunakushiwo ukuthi abaningi abacwaningi babeganwe yimibuzo ehlobene nehlazo, abacwaningi abaningi kakhulu, abavela ku-Aristotle kuya eDarwin, Freud nase-Ofma. Kuzo zonke izinhlobo zemibono kanye ne-hypothesis, kunenye esele yathuthela ekunciphiseni i-axiom: Namuhla siyazi kahle umuzwa owethulwe ngofakazi. Kanye nami singazizwa sinecala, ukukhathazeka noma ukudabuka, kepha kuzoba namahloni kuphela emphakathini. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngumphakathi - okokuqala lapho ubhekene nomama nobaba, lapho-ke, njengoba bekhula, futhi abanye abantu abadala baxhunyiwe - "Hangs" ihlazo.
Imvamisa, lo muzwa wakhelwa ezinganeni iminyaka emihlanu, futhi, njengoba sesibhalile, okokuqala, kuhlotshaniswa nomzimba kanye nokubonakaliswa kwalo. Ngendlela, abaningi baphawula lelo hlazo, ngokungafani necala, lizwakala nje ezingeni lomzimba - kungokuhlangenwe nakho komzimba okwedlula eminye imizwa. Igazi linamathele ezihlathini zethu, ungqongqoza emathempelini - futhi lapha sesivele sibomvu ezimpandeni zezinwele, zilungele ukuwela emhlabathini. Okuhlangenwe nakho okukhulu, okubuhlungu, okucebile okokuqala ngqa ukuthola isikhathi sangaphambi kwesikole. Izingane ziqala ukubona ubulili bazo, vele zazi ngokuhlukahluka kwamantombazane nabafana, bheka ukuthi abazali bakufihla kanjani ubunqunu, ukugcina indlu yokugezela. Bafunda lokhu kuziphatha, ukuqonda ukuthi ngasizathu simbe kubalulekile ukufihla izingxenye zomzimba wakho, hhayi ukuba uzibeke ekubuyekezweni kwawo wonke umuntu. Lesi yisikhathi esibaluleke kakhulu lapho omama nobaba bavame "ukuphula" i-psyche yezingane, intshisekelo yabo yemvelo ku-Interonite Sphere. Imiphumela ingadabukisa: Labo ababenokwakhiwa ngenkuthalo njengengane yokuzifunda uqobo, imvamisa babe nezinkinga ezahlukene emkhakheni wezocansi, ngokuhluleka ukujabulela ukuphazamiseka okukhulu kwezocansi nokuphambuka. Benginomngane wakho owakholelwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi ukusondela okusondelene kunguMthetho ongcolile nokubi, futhi umsebenzi oshadile wabonakala ngokunembile njengesikweletu, inkonzo ethile. Ngaphezu kwalokho: Akakwazanga ukudlula izivivinyo zezokwelashwa, akhanya ezindlebeni lapho othile enesibindi sokuvumela amahlaya "ngaphansi kwebhande". Kuyadingeka ukusho ukuthi ubuhlobo bakhe nabesifazane bakhe badabuke kakhulu futhi baphela ngokubikezelwa. Lapho ekugcineni ojwayele ukunquma ukuphendukela kuchwepheshe, kwavela imininingwane ethokozisayo: Kuvela ukuthi noma yimiphi imibuzo "ngakho", umama nogogo bayenqatshelwe emkhayeni futhi bawujezisa ngokuqinile umfana Uma ephula imithetho yomndeni.
Ngakho-ke ungaba kanjani? Ingabe empeleni yindoda encane engenamahloni (futhi ngaphambi kwenkathi ethile zonke izingane zinjalo futhi azikho imingcele kanye nokuvinjwa? Ungadinga futhi udinga, kepha ngobumnene, ngokucophelela futhi ngaphandle kokulahlwa. Iminyaka emihlanu kuya kwayisithupha, i-Silos Yakho kufanele vele inalo uhlobo oluthile lwensimu, indawo ephephile yakho - futhi udinga ukuchaza ukuthi akukho hlazo, kepha abonakale emphakathini, Njengoba zingalungile.
Ukumboza inqubo
Ngakho ...
1. Amawayini. Imvamisa ihambisana nehlazo, futhi asikwazi ukuhlukanisa omunye komunye. Kepha lokhu kubalulekile. Sayina necala - akakushiyi wedwa, kuyize ihlazo umuzwa womphakathi.
2. Ukwesaba. Esinye isihlobo esiseduze sinamahloni. Sesaba ihlazo, siyasaba ukuthi sizobanjwa okuthile okuhlazisayo, wesaba ukuzwa izingqinamba namahloni. Konke lokhu kuhlobene nokwesaba ukwenqatshwa nokwesaba ukuthi thina, njengathi sinjalo, senqatshiwe.
3. Ukwaneliseka. Ngokumangazayo, abanye banomuzwa wokuzijabulisa okujulile lapho bebhekene namahloni. Ochwepheshe bezengqondo bakubiza ngokuthi ukuphambuka, futhi abantu abafuna ukuba namahloni bafaka phakathi abantu ngokuziphatha okuphambukayo.
Kepha uma konke kube lula kangako! Uke wabona ukuthi abantu abehlukene banamahloni ngezinto ezihlukile? Konke ngoba abazali bethu abanjalo abanjalo basakaza imibono yabo. Ngakho-ke, ebuntwaneni bami, ngangingafinyelelwa ngokuphelele emzimbeni wami, kodwa ngahlekwa kakhulu, futhi ngokugcwele kwakungedingekile ukuveza injabulo nokuvuleka komndeni wethu akwamukelwanga. "Awunamahloni yini ukuhleka kakhulu?" - Ngiqinisile. Ekuqaleni bekungacaci ukuthi yini abadala abayiswa, kodwa kancane kancane ngaqala ukubona ukuthi kuvela "ekuhlekeni" emphakathini akwamukeleki futhi kunqatshelwe ukuthi kungukuphela kwehhashi ", izimbobo ngokwazo nezenjabulo zaphakade. Kepha intombi yami inamahloni okuthukuthela futhi ithukuthele - ugogo wakhe uhlala embele intombazane ngenxa yokwehla kwesiponji, ibeka imilenze yamemeza. Ngokwe-nto ntombi wacekela phansi ngokoqobo ngokuziphatha ngemizwa engemihle (ebhekana nalowo kithi!). Ngenxa yalokho, lapho ebudala, angeke alwe futhi angavali, futhi akahambi, evutha nehlazo lapho kuvuleka ngokulungile. Muva nje, uzakwabo uzakwakhe ubonise umklomelo wakhe - ngabe ngifiphaza i-negative yonke endaweni yentombi (futhi ngubani ongeke?). Kepha wanikezwa izinyembezi kuphela, kwathi-ke izinyanga ezimbalwa (!) Kwakuhlazo izinyanga ezimbalwa, ngoba ngaphakathi wayevutha ukufutheka.
Ekuqaleni, ihlazo lalisebenza njengenhloso enhle: ukunqanda ama-gust ethu aphansi, ukufundisa umuntu kithi. Ngakho-ke, ucwaningo luthi ingane ukunqatshelwa kwe-atrofied iqina ekuthuthukisweni. Ummangalelwa wemvelo kithi uyisihluthulelo seqiniso lokuthi sizozama ukulandela izindinganiso zokuziphatha nokufakwa. Igama elingukhiye lapha "lingokwemvelo", kepha, maye, uhlu lwenqatshelwe (hhayi ngoba luyingozi noma lungamukeleki yiningi) lungahle lube lude futhi lube yinkimbinkimbi. Lawa ma-quirks, khona-ke sithatha iminyaka eyazi, sihlushwa ama-taboos angaziwa ake adinga abazali bethu ukuba basilawule ekubonisweni kwethu okuqhubekayo. Iqiniso indlela 'ehleka' ngokungemthetho 'noma uthukuthele kanjani? Ukubonakaliswa kwemizwa yezingane kumane nje akunakuhlolwa kusuka endaweni yokubukwa kokuziphatha. Ngeke sikuthande - kulokhu, kulokhu, umsebenzi ukufundisa isizukulwane esincane ukuba siziveze ngokuthi "eco-friendly", okungukuthi, indlela eyamukelekayo nephephile. Lapho ingane ishaya umama, ungakhanga amahloni nonembeza, futhi umnikeze yena esikhundleni sokulwa ukucwila ngezinyawo zami noma ukushaya umcamelo, washaya. Kepha njalo "ukunamathela" ingane ngentukuthelo, enye yemizwa eyisisekelo, okudingeka nje ukuyifunda ukuze uphile, ungazenzi.
Iphuzu elijwayelekile kakhulu, lapho abesifazane banamuhla benyakazise khona, basaqhubeka nesimo sabo
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Esifisweni sokuhle
Ngaphandle kwabazali abafaka isandla ekwakhekeni kwethu okungeyona eyemvelo, i-hyperetrophydedingness yethu, singaphansi kwethonya lomphakathi langemuva lapho kusebenza khona izimo ezithile. Izimfanelo eziqine kakhulu: Lowo owaziyo uthembekile emikhubeni yakhe futhi wema, wakwazi ukuthola ukuthi yini ejabulisa injabulo, wafunda ukuthi "cha" ngaphandle kwegatsha lenembeza. Okunye - futhi bona, lokho, lokho, maye, iningi labaningi - elinde umncintiswano wokuvunywa kwezenhlalo. OKUFANELE UKWENZE UKUVIKELA Umuzwa wehlazo, ngoba ukhulula ngempela ukungaphatheki kahle ngokomzimba nangokwengqondo.
Iphuzu elivame kakhulu lapho abesifazane banamuhla abazamazama ngalo isesimweni sabo. Uhlukanisile, ngaphandle kwezingane, ngaphandle komlingani? Ngokusobala, kukhona okungahambi kahle kuwe. Okwami, kuba namahloni okuphila, ukujabulela ukukhetha kwami nesizungu - yikuphi okungenangqondo? Futhi noma ngabe unquma "inkinga", uphuma ushade futhi ubelethe izingane ezimbalwa, awuvikelekile kukho konke - ukubona iso lomphakathi elibona konke. Manje unamahloni okungeyena umfazi ofanele noMama. "Ukondla ingane nge-macarona?" - Amashiya aqonde aqonde, ngangibuza umngani wamuva nje. Ngemuva kwalokho wayilandela le ndaba yokuthi yini umzali wangempela okufanele (futhi engingabi ngokoqobo?) Futhi hlobo luni lokulimala endodaneni yami nginana, ngimnikela kuye ngepasta lesidlo sakusihlwa. Kulesi sibababuli, ngemvamisa ngizwe ukudumazeka kukaMamimo "ukuthi ungenamahloni kanjani!". Nokho, ngaba namahloni okwesikhashana, okwesikhashana; ngangizithatha ngokushesha ezandleni zami, ngakhumbula ukuthi ngingumuntu osemdala, ngingathola ukuthi unehlazo lapho unohlazo.
Amadoda anobuhlungu babo. Sesivele sibhale ngokuthi abafana abavela kanjani ebuntwaneni bebekwa khona umbono wokuthi izinyembezi zendoda - ihlazo langempela. Ngaphezu kweqiniso lokuthi amanenekazi anqatshelwe ukukhala, awakwazi ukuncipha futhi athole abesifazane abancane. Futhi uma umlingani wakho engakulungele ukusondela (akunandaba, ngasiphi isizathu - ngabe kukhathele, i-handrite Lee yagula) - konke, ungasho ukuthi maduze nje azidlale ephila, ehlangabezana nalokhu isikhashana.
Imfundo, izintshisekelo, ezondecwebe - okuningi ngaphandle kwezitatimende zokuhlwitha: Uma ungazange ufunde uPlato noHegel, awunakubhekwa njengomuntu wangempela? Ngikhethe umsebenzi osebenzayo, nganquma ukungajahi njengemfundo ephakeme - kusho umuntu oyisiphukuphuku nowokubona okufushane ngaphandle kwezifiso. Ngikhethe umsebenzi wokukhulisa izingane - nje akunamandla okuthola lutho, ngakho-ke wabaleka kubaba ngumama. Uthando kakhulu ukwengeza nokubukeka. Kuma-slang wanamuhla, igama elithi shyymes lavela ngisho nalo (elivela esenzalweni sesiNgisi libe ngamahloni - ngokoqobo "ihlazo"). Ubukhulu obukhulu kakhulu, obukhanya kakhulu noma, kunalokho, ngokungafani, bagqoke iziketi ezimfushane, awugqoki iziketi ngokujwayelekile, sidwetshwe ngombala opinki, umuntu ophishekela izidingo zomphakathi Kubukeka ngathi lo mphakathi okudingayo, ungazilethela ukukhathala okunovalo.
I-Syyming iyasiphika futhi ukuboniswa kwethu, kusenza singafuneki, singafinyeleli epulangwe eliphakeme elisungulwe umphakathi. Isikhathi eside ngazama ukubukeka njengabanye ukungibona. Umama wayefuna ngempela ukuba ngithwale izingubo futhi ngabesifazane. Omunye wabathandekayo wabona umfazi wasendlini oyisibonelo kimi, omunye wafuna ukuba ngikhuthele kwezepolitiki. Njalo lapho bengingathetheleli okulindelwe, ngabunjwe - ngokungafundi uhlobo lomsebenzi, ngokungazi ukuthi ngingakupheka kanjani isidlo sakusihlwa sezitsha ezintathu, yini lapho ngizama ukuthumela konke ukuthumela engqondweni Labo abazama ukungenza ngenze okuthile ekuqondeni kwabo, ohambweni olude noluhehayo.
Imvamisa sithola imizwa engemihle, sizwa ukungafaneleki ngawo, ukubonakala kwethu, hhayi ngoba benza okuthile abangamukeleki, kepha ngenxa yokuthi abahlangabezana nokulindelwe kothile. Kubalulekile ukubona okwenzekayo, nokuhlukanisa okusanhlamvu kwinselelo. Ngaphandle kokuzibamba, futhi kwesinye isikhathi usizo kochwepheshe, angenzi. Izindaba ezimnandi ukuthi umphumela womsebenzi wakho ngokwakho uzoba umuzwa wenkululeko namandla. Ngemuva kokusetha kabusha i-FALSE CHISH SHACKLE, izwe elingapheli lamakhono nokuhlolwa kuzovuleka.
Ungazami ukuthokozela wonke umuntu
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Waze wasa…
... ukwenza okuncane. Umphakathi usibalalela: imali ethe xaxa, kulapho ukhona. Vuka, akunjalo! Ukuphila kahle okubonakalayo kuyithuluzi kuphela, futhi namahloni ukuthi iholo lakho liphansi kunalokho kwabangani - Ukuziphatha okubekiwe. Zama ukuvimbela indawo ezungezile ezokwazi ukuhlaza wena, umbuzo olula: "Kungani kufanele ngibe namahloni?"
... ungalwela ukunciphisa umzimba. Asikhulumi ngamacala lapho umuntu ehlupheka ukukhuluphala - khona-ke isimo sakhe somzimba sithinta ngqo impilo. Kepha uma sikhuluma ngamakhilogremu "angeziwe", ungabhekisa kwabanye abeluleki ukuze ukwenze ngokwakho, kodwa hhayi nguwe.
... khetha izinhlobo ezithile zocansi. Uma abangane bakho nabathandekayo bakho bezama ukuletha empilweni yakho eseduze, babakhumbuze ukuthi akekho noyedwa embhedeni wakho embhedeni wakho. Ngokwemvelo, sikhuluma kuphela ngalokho okuvunyelwe ngumthetho!
... Musa ukufunda / ukubuka / vakashela izifundo ekuzithuthukisweni. Ufuna ukwenza konke lokhu? Zenze, kepha ungaluleki abanye!
Zibuze
Kwanele ngendlela ehlukile njengomuzwa obuhlungu wehlazo yamanga. Naphezu komehluko wethu, emhlabeni njengamanje kunemibono ejwayelekile mayelana nokuhle nokubi, ngobulungiswa, isihe kanye nesimo. Uma uphuma ngokucacile kulezi zinhlaka futhi uwele umugqa, umuzwa wehlazo ungokwemvelo futhi uyadingeka. Kwezinye izimo, kungenzeka ukuthi udonswa okuhlangenwe nakho kwamanga.
Uma ubunjiwe eduze, usabele ngobumnene, kepha ngokuzethemba. Buza umuntu ozama ukukufunda noma ukwenza amahloni, kungani kufanele kwenzeke? Zihlukanise nomuntu esimthandayo, usebenzise lokho okubizwa ngokuthi ukuhlukaniswa: "Lalelani, mama (Dad, Mfowethu, ngingowami, futhi angenzi noma yiluphi ubugebengu, angiyenzi lutho lokuziphatha okubi noma ngecala, mina UNGAYENZI noma ngubani ukwenza kanjalo. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi kungenzeka ungayithandi, kepha angikwazi ukungenza lutho ngawe. "
Uma "Ihlazo!" Umemeza kubantu banye abantu, ungadidanisi ukukhombisa ulaka nobulukhuni (khumbula ukuthi ulaka aluhlali lushubile). Masibe nesibindi namandla aqine ukukunikeza ukuqonda ukuthi lezi zikhuthazo zingena endaweni yakho futhi zizama ukuziqhekeza. Ungazami ukuthokozela wonke umuntu!