Emphakathini wethu, akusona ngokwesiko ukuthi ukhulume ngokufa, kube sengathi lokhu kuyinto eyihlazo futhi engeyona eyemvelo. Mayelana nokufa komuntu okuyisimanga womuntu, kubonakala sengathi, akazange aphile, kubonakala sengathi akakhumbuli nakancane. Kepha ukulahlekelwa yingane engakazalwa, futhi ngesikhathi esincane, futhi ngesikhathi sokubeletha kuwukuhlukumezeka ngokweqile kwengqondo okudinga ukunakwa nokujikeleza ngokucophelela. Ngoba ukulahleka. Kodwa-ke, ngisho nabasebenzi bezokwelapha emtholampilo noma esibhedlela somama asona njalo ukulungele ukuhlinzeka ngowesifazane ngokusekelwa okudingekayo. Maye, mina ngilahlekelwe yingane ngesikhathi sokubeletha. Futhi ngatshelwa ngokoqobo lokhu okulandelayo: "Lutho, ngonyaka sizokuza kithi futhi, sizale." Abashongo ngenxa yesihluku noma ubuqili, kodwa ngoba akekho ofundise ukuthi ezimweni ezinjalo kufanelekile ukukhuluma, kepha kungani kungenjalo. Ukushiswa kobungcweti kuyenzeka futhi.
Nokuthi uzothini?
Yini ebhekana nowesifazane olahlekelwe yingane? Kunenkulumo enjalo - lapho abazali befa, okwedlule kwethu kuya, nalapho ingane ifa ikusasa. Ukulahleka kwengane ukuwa kwezwe labesifazane. Umama ohlulekile uzizwa ephelelwa yithemba, usizi, ukuthulula. Wayesekhombe isimo sakhe esisha, umama, wabikezela impilo yakhe ngamaqiniso amasha, wayefuna ukuthethelela amathemba omyeni wakhe nomndeni wakhe, kepha leli zwe elisha labhujiswa. Okokugcina lokhu kulahleka okungokomfanekiso, ngoba imvelo ayibonanga into ongasayina ngayo, futhi wayekhona! Futhi ukuthi kuzohlala kanjani lolu zilu lwalu kuncike ekusekelweni kwabathandekayo kanye nalombhalo wabasebenzi bezokwelapha. Into ebaluleke kakhulu ukunika owesifazane ukuba asinde, ukuze aphile ngokomoya, akhumbule izigaba ezine zosizi.
1. Ukuphikwa. Umsebenzi wesigaba sokuqala sosizi ukwamukelwa kwenkathazo. Kuyadingeka ukubona ukuthi kwenzeke.
2. Ubuthi nentukuthelo. Lokhu kusesha ukuphendula imibuzo kanye necala. Umsebenzi ukuzungeza indoda esondelene ngemfudumalo nokunakwa, gcina kusuka ezenzweni ezibhubhisayo.
3. Ukudideka nokuhlupheka . Umuzwa wokuthi konke kwawa. Ngeke kube khona impilo yakudala, ngeke ibe khona mntwana, ngeke kube nenjabulo. Futhi, kungabonakala sengathi isekela ibinzana elithi "umncane, zizale wena" libangela ukulimala okukhulu kakhulu. Lesi sisho sincishisiwe. Isinyathelo sokuhlupheka kudinga ukusinda, inhloso yaso ukuthola izinsiza zokwakhiwa kwekusasa.
4. Ukuhlelwa kabusha kwempilo.
Isikhathi sesigaba ngasinye ngokwahlukana nosizi singefani ngokujwayelekile. Kuya ngezici zengqondo ngazinye, nasesikhathini sokukhulelwa. Sihlala sibuza umfazi: "Kwakuwukukhulelwa noma kwakuyingane?". Uma ezililela - lesi ngesimo esisodwa, futhi uma ingane yakho ingenye. Izigaba azinalo ukwahlukana kwesikhashana okucacile. Uma ukulahleka kwenzeka esikhathini samasonto ama-2-3 - Ukubuyiselwa kwengqondo kuthatha cishe izinyanga eziyisithupha. Uma lokhu kuzalwa ngakwengane, lona wesifazane wambona, khona-ke okungenani iminyaka eyodwa nesigamu.
Yini engenziwanga
1. Okokuqala kwakho konke, akudingekile ukunganaki ukulahleka kwe-perinatal. Ekuqaleni kungahle kubonakale sengathi ukunakekelwa kwamaqiniso ngokusebenzisa izidakamizwa ze-psychotropic yisisombululo esilula. Kepha ngeke kuvume ukusinda zonke izigaba zosizi ezidingekayo ukuze impilo ejabulayo izofika.
2. Abantu abaningi bacabanga ukuthi ngemuva kokulahleka kwengane, kufanele ukhulelwe futhi futhi yini ongaba ngumama ojabulayo. Kepha lokhu akwenzeki. Ngoba ingane entsha iza ukubuya ilahlekile. Kepha umuntu ngamunye unendaba yawo, isikhathi sakhe sokufika emndenini. Ochwepheshe bezengqondo basanconywa ukubekezelela ikhefu phakathi kokufa kwengane yokuqala nokuzalwa kwelandelayo okulandelayo kufanele kudlule eyodwa nesigamu noma iminyaka emibili noma iminyaka emibili.
3. Ukufuna ukusola. Kwenzeka kaningi ukuthi esimweni sosizi, owesifazane uphonsa wonke amabutho ngokufuna ukusolwa. Uyakwazimangalela: Kungani uhambe uphumule, kungani angizange ngiphumule, futhi okuphambene nalokho kwasebenza kakhulu, njll. Kungamsola umyeni wakhe, umzali, odokotela. Eqinisweni, lesi yisigaba sesibili - ukulangazelela nentukuthelo. Futhi abathandekayo abaningi abathandekayo bayacasuka, kufanelekile ukuqondisisa, kulungile impela. Kepha kuyadingeka ukuqonda ukuthi kuyisigaba sosizi oluphilayo. Nikeza umuntu wesifazane ukuba adlule ngokulahleka okuncane.
4. Yenza sengathi akwenzekanga lutho. Ngokwesiko, kwenzeka ukuthi asikwazi ukwamukela nokuqonda izinhlungu zomunye umuntu - kuyesabeka kakhulu. Kepha ukusho amazwi okuzwela "Ngiyaxolisa ukuthi kwenzeka," "Ngizwelana nosizi lwakho," "Ngingakusiza kanjani manje?" Noma nje buthule futhi ngokuqiniseka sekuseduze, ukugoqa okubaluleke kakhulu. Sebenzisa isitayela sokukhuluma esilula. Ngokuqinile nangokuthula ulalele, phendula imibuzo ngokweqiniso.
Ungafihli imizwa yabo, uzwela oluqotho, uzwela lusiza ukubhekana nokulimala.
Okubi kakhulu okungashiwo kulesi simo: "Isikhathi siphilisa", "uNkulunkulu wanikela, uNkulunkulu wathatha," "Kuhle ukuthi wafa uze ufise."
Yini ukulwela
Ukunyusa kukhanya kakhulu ngakho-ke okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo nokujulile okuhlangenwe nakho empilweni yowesifazane. Ukulahleka kwengane umbhangqwana kusho ukuthi ubudlelwano babo abakwazanga ukufinyelela ezingeni elisha lentuthuko, futhi akulula ukwamukela. Khumbula lokhu, lapho ngokuzayo uzoba nentshisekelo yokuthi kungani abantu bengenamntwana. Ngemizamo ejwayelekile engenakubekezeleleka noma engaphumelelanga ye-ECO, ukuphishekela ukukhulelwa kungaphenduka umjaho, anciphise izinjabulo ezimbalwa zokuxhumana nomunye nocansi. Ngasikhathi sinye, ukuzethemba kuwela kakhulu - kungani umuntu evele, futhi asinawo, "lo mbhangqwana uyadideka? Kepha namhlanje ochwepheshe bavele abafundisa abafundisa ama-obstetrician-gynecologists ukuhlinzeka ukusekelwa kwengqondo ekubhalweni kwezengqondo, kubandakanya nomphumela wabo obuhlungu. Kubalulekile ukulwa nokushiswa kwe-professional of ozimele, futhi kuyathakazelisa, lokhu kuyabonakala kusukela ohlangothini kuphela, umuntu uqobo akakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi washisa, ngoba ukushiswa kuhlotshaniswa nokuthuthuka komuntu.
Isihloko esikhethekile usizi lwesilisa. Ngakho-ke indoda kufanele ingakhali, kepha lokhu akusho ukuthi akahlambi imizwa yakhe futhi angahlupheki. Ngakho-ke, abesilisa ngababili abalahlekelwe yi-perinatal bavame ukushiya amakhanda basebenze, bahlukaniswe ngokomoya emkani wakhe. Futhi ukukhuluma, kuyadingeka ukukhuluma ngolwazi lwakho.
Ungavumela kanjani futhi ukuvumela ukuhamba
Kuyadingeka ukuvumela yonke ingane ukuba ibe kule mpilo. Ngokuthile afika kukho, noma ngabe akazalwanga noma aphile amahora ambalwa kuphela. Kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kuye: Yebo, ubukhona empilweni yami, ngiyakukhumbula.
Kunamasiko "okukhishwa", asebenza kahle lapho owesifazane esebhalwe phansi. Ungenza ibhokisi lapho ubeka khona into ehambisana nokukhulelwa - ingahle ibe yi-ultrasound noma ukuhlaziywa kwe-HGG. Ungatshala isihlahla egcekeni, wenze indiza ugijime esibhakabhakeni. Owesifazane othile esisebenze kuwo, wathola inkanyezi esibhakabhakeni wathi le yindodana yakhe. I-psyche yowesifazane yanelisekile ngokuvumelana nezimo futhi isikhathi ngokwakhe ingazilungiselela impilo eyengeziwe. Futhi emphefumulweni kukhona ishalofu kanye nokuba ngumama wehlulekile.