Isikhungo "sodadewethu" sasungulwa ngonyaka we-1994 ngeqembu labesifazane ababona ukuthi abantu abasinda ebudlova badinga ukwesekwa okuthile kwezengqondo. Inhloko yesikhungo saseMokhova Maria ibhekele imibuzo.
- UMaria, uyini umsebenzi oyinhloko wesikhungo sakho, wenzani, uyakwazi ukwakha?
- Umsebenzi oyinhloko walesi sikhungo usiza abantu abasinda ekudlekeni ngokobulili. Sifuna ukuthi izisulu ziphinde ziphinde zibe nokholo ngamandla azo, isithunzi, zaqala ukuphatha izimpilo zazo futhi. Ochwepheshe besikhungo bahlinzeka ngosizo lwabakhululekile nolungaziwa kubantu, kungakhathalekile ubulili babo, ubudala, isikhundla senhlalo, inkolo. Sinamaqembu okusekela, udokotela wezengqondo, ummeli, usizo lwezenhlalo, izinhlelo zemfundo.
- Ake ungitshele ukuthi kungani nose ngowesifazane ohlala nomdlwenguli futhi omashiqela owenziwe ekhaya, ehlushwa iminyaka eminingi yobudlova? Mhlawumbe lokhu kungenxa ye-psyche noma isifiso esifushane sowesifazane salalela indoda?
- Uyabona, akunakwenzeka ukukuphendula ngokucacile kulo mbuzo, kepha ngizozama ukunikeza izibonelo. Isibonelo, kunemindeni ethi, ngemuva kwesehlukaniso, qhubeka uhlala ndawonye efulethini linye, ngoba athile athile ahlakaze, kepha akekho oshaya noma ngubani. Ngakho-ke abantu babhidlizwa abantu abahlakaniphile nabampucuko, abanenkulumo nganoma yiluphi udlame nobushiqela bomndeni. Kepha kunezimo lapho kufika sekwephuzile ebusuku umyeni odakiwe futhi uqala ukushaya umkakhe, futhi izingane ezincane zilala egumbini elilandelayo. Umbuzo uphakama: "Kufanele ugijime kuphi?" Ungena emaphoyiseni ukuthi abhale umyeni wakhe, futhi athi kuye: "Eka Nevidal. Indoda ishaya umkakhe. Yilapho ukubulawa - woza. " Futhi uthatha isitatimende, amaqabunga, agwinya izinyembezi ezithulile, ngoba uphoqelelwa ukuthi uphile ngandlela thile, ulethe izingane. Ngoba umama uthi: "Yebo, ukwenzani ukwenza indodakazi, kufanele ubekezelele. Unomndeni, wathatha imali ebanjiswayo, futhi uhola okujwayelekile, futhi uma uhlala wedwa nezingane, ngeke usinde. " Ngakho-ke, umbuzo, noma ngabe yonke into ihlelekile nekhanda kwabesifazane abakhuthazelela ubudlova, akulungile lapha.
- Ungaba kanjani kulesi simo. Yini umuntu wesifazane adinga ukuyenza?
- Abesifazane abaningi kakhulu, basinda okokuqala isenzo solaka, bafuna isizathu sokuthi kungani kufanele asolwe. Futhi lokhu kuhlaziya kubangetheleleke konke: nabazali bakhe, nabazali bendoda yakhe. Wonke umuntu ubandakanyeka enqubweni yalokho okufanele akwenze ukwenza umyeni wakhe angabe esashaya. Futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho ecabanga ukuthi ngeke ayithole namuhla, ngoba wasusa ifulethi, wadla isidlo sakusihlwa, walala ngesikhathi. Kepha kwenzeka njengalelohlaya: "Mfazi, vala ukukhanya, umfazi uvala ukukhanya. Ingabe uyakhonza amasiginali? " Iphuzu alikho hlobo luni lwe-psyche olunalo, kepha ukuthi umdlwenguli uzungeza amandla nokulawula umndeni wakhe. Ngenkathi ngeke sikuqonde ukuthi ukuguqula isisulu, asishintshi umdlwenguli, akukho lutho oluzoshintsha. Owesifazane kufanele aqonde ukuthi noma ngabe uziphatha kanjani, umyeni uzomfuna ukuzithoba kunoma iyiphi indlela. Uma engafiki isikhathi kochwepheshe, akekho ongamsiza.
- Isikhungo sakho sikwenzelani abesifazane abanjalo?
- Umhlaba wonke uxoxa ngombuzo wokuthi kungani ohlukunyezwa kufanele ahambe ekhaya. Udinga ukuthatha umdlwenguli futhi usebenze ngayo. Futhi-ke, ngokuya ngemiphumela yomsebenzi, nquma ukuthi uyayibuyisela yini emndenini noma cha. Futhi sivame ukubaleka izisulu nezingane, ngoba abadlwenguli bangabaqashi abanomthwalo wemfanelo, futhi umfazi uhlala nengane encane futhi akanamali yokuqasha indawo yokuhlala.
Kepha akudingekile ukukhohlwa ukuthi sinabesifazane abayizinkulungwane eziyi-16 abahlala ejele lePerm ngokubulala abayeni babo nabasebathandanayo. Izintatheli zaseMelika ezavakashela la majele, zezwa izindaba zethu ezinkulu ezivela emilonyeni yabesifazane. Inani elikhulu labesifazane abafihla beshaywa ngodokotela futhi bahlaziswe, bakhetha ukucushwa nokucasha, ngoba kuba namahloni, kungaphazamiseki ngenxa yoMphakathi phambi komakhelwane, osebenza nabo. Futhi-ke, lapho amandla ebekezelela awesasekho, abesifazane banele imimese, izimbazo, amapani ama-cast-iron futhi babulale abathembekile babo.
Futhi kwakudingeka kuhambe ngesikhathi ezikhungweni zenhlekelele, bhala izitatimende emaphoyiseni, thintana nezinhlangano zomphakathi, zisebenze nodlame lwezengqondo, ngoba ukwenziwa okwenziwe ngokobulili nodlame lwezocansi uhlelo lokuziphatha olukhula lude. Futhi kubalulekile ukuthi owesifazana aqonde luphi uhlelo ahlala kulo. Uma ushaywa, ulawulwa ngokuphelele, ukudlwengula, ukuhlazisa, kubalulekile ukukhulisa i-stereotype futhi uqonde ukuthi lokhu akudingeki kucele usizo lwendlu! Futhi lapho lesi simo sizokhula, kuzoba namandla isenzo sobudlova esilandelayo.
- Ngabe usebenza nezingane emindenini enjalo?
- Zonke izingane ezisindile nokubona udlame lwasekhaya, ngokungangabazeki, zidinga usizo. Lezi zibandakanyeke kochwepheshe bethu bezengqondo. Lapho zineminyaka eyi-10 - 12 ubudala, ziqinile ngenkuthalo nonina, owashaywa, bayazisola, bakhuluma ngothando lwabo. Eminyakeni engu-14 - 15, abafana sebevele bezama ukubhekana nobaba, kwathi ngeminyaka eyi-18 bamukela uPapa stereotype kanye nesimo sengqondo esifanayo, lapho le ndoda ihlala ishaya umuntu wesifazane. Futhi, izingane eziningi zinesifiso sokukhula kunalokho futhi ziziphindisele ebuhlotsheni babo ngomama, ngokuthobeka kwazo. Ukuziphatha kwabo kudinga ukulungiswa futhi, kukhulume ngokuvikelwa kwezingane, udinga ukuqala ukwenza lokhu. Imvamisa, ngaphandle kokuthola usizo, isisulu singakuthola ukuhlanekezela kwalowo muntu, okuzoyiholela endleleni yamacala. Umuntu omncane akakwazi ukubhekana nengcindezi, eyayihlamba kuye.
- Amantombazane amancane ngokuvamile awaqondi ukuthi ngubani, othanda uthando ngentshiseko, angahlukanisi umhawu kusuka ebusheni besikhathi esizayo futhi avale amehlo abo ekushishweni okuningi kwamadoda. Nikeza izeluleko, ungakuboli kanjani impilo yakho ngeTiran?
- Kwamantombazane amancane kukhona isivivinyo esikhethekile: bachaze ukuthi ngubani umfana wakho. Ngabe uzoqhubeka nokukufuna? Noma ngabe ufuna ukuqhubeka nokuphila nomuntu osetshenziselwa ukuxazulula izinkinga ngezibhakela. Uma umhawu we-pathological eqala, intukuthelo engenangqondo ngezikhathi ezihlukile ngaphambi kokuba ushade, waphakamisa isandla sakhe, kungenakuqhathaniswa nomuntu onjalo akunakwenzeka ukuxhuma isiphetho. Kuthiwa ngemuva kokuxabana ubulili obuhle. Kepha lapho amazinyo akho engqongqoshe, izimbambo ziphukile, zilimaze izinwele, zikholwe, ngeke uze ucansi. Ngemuva kwalokho uzoqala ukukushaya phambi kwezingane, uziphoqe izimpilo zabo. Lapho umdlwenguli esona phakade umdlwenguli.