Ukufuna isiphephelo esiphephile futhi esinokwethenjelwa kuzo zonke izinzwa kuzohlala kuyingxenye yempilo kithi: noma ngabe kuyindlu engokomzimba, abantu abanomqondo ofanayo nabangane, owakwabo umuntu, owakwabo, umuntu wabo, owakwabo, owakwabo umuntu, owakwabo, owake waba abangane abaseduze. Sizohlala silwela ukuthola indawo empilweni, ebingenazinsongo kakhulu. Omunye u-Abraham Masu uthe ngenkathi isidingo sokuphepha ngeke saneliseke, umuntu akakwazi ukwenza lutho, akanandaba nokukhula ngokomoya nokusesha, ukwenziwa kwakhe kulo msebenzi.
Kwakhiwa iMatrimonial Therapy yanamuhla yokuthi ubuhlobo obuseduze yithebhu ephephile nenokuthula kithi. Kuwukuthula kwayo nokuphepha kuwo okusisiza ukuba sime ngokuqinile emilenzeni empilweni futhi sisebenzise imisebenzi yaso ebalulekile.
Futhi lapha iphupho le-heroine yethu libonisa ukuthi lifuna isiphephelo esiphephile empilweni: "Ngangena ebhasini, emgwaqweni ebusuku, ngiya ekhaya. Udadewethu omdala usebhasini. Futhi amabhokisi ebhasi avela endleleni futhi agibele enye ebizayo, esedlule ekhaya. Ngiyathukuthela, kodwa ngitshelwe ukuthi manje indlela enjalo. Esikhathini esilandelayo, ibhasi liyama, isixuku sabantu, eLangeni lasemgwaqweni. Angiqondi lutho. Kungani kwakukhona ubusuku, futhi nansi usuku. Ngichaza ukuthi ilanga lapha alikakwazi ukuya kulo. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi indlu yami ayikude nalesi simo, kepha kuyesabisa ukuqhubeka nobumnyama. Ngizohamba ngiyolala udadewethu. Futhi ngasikhathi sinye ngifuna ukuya ekhaya. Umshayeli uphakamise ukuthi angihambise ekhaya ngemuva kokuphela kwendlela. Ngavuma futhi ngithule.
Leli phupho laliqonda kanjena: Ngaphenduka impilo yami eqophelweni lomhlaba, kepha nakhu okujwayelekile, nomunye umuntu, ngizizwa ngididekile futhi ngizama ukubuyela esimweni esijwayelekile, noma ebumnyameni, yize kuyesabeka futhi. "
Vele, ukuhumusha kwalo kubalulekile. Kukhombisa ukufuna ukukhanya, mhlawumbe isimo sengqondo esisemthethweni, esithembekile ngaye nomndeni wakhe, dadewethu. Futhi ubuthongo bukhombisa izindlela zalo zokubhekana ne-alamu. Kwenza izindlela ezijwayelekile: ukuzama ukubuyela endlini yakhe yokufanelana, endaweni ethembekile. Okokuqala, le yindlela ejwayelekile: Yiya ekhaya ubusuku. Ngemuva kwalokho funa usizo kudadewethu (lala kuye). Imvamisa, ukuze sibhekane ne-alamu, sikhetha indlela yokuba khona kothile oseduze. Eduze, ukuthula kwabo nokuzola kusikhonza ngokwesekwa, ngoba kunzima ngathi ukuthi sizithobe ngokwethuka nezikhathi eziphazamisayo.
Ekugcineni, uthulisa iqiniso lokuthi liza endlini ngebhasi, lidlula izindima endaweni engaziwa ebusuku. Ngamanye amagama, ngephupho, amaphupho ethu afunda ukuncoma nokuthambisa, alawule futhi asebenzise ukwesaba nokukhathazeka kwawo.
Leli khono lingaba nawo wonke umuntu, kepha ngokuqondile lincike ekutheni salithoba kanjani ebuntwaneni: noma ngabe bayithatha yini ngesikhathi sokukhala noma balale.
Ucwaningo lwakamuva lukhombisile ukuthi kuze kube yilapho iminyaka ethile, izingane azikwazi ukuzithoba, ngoba izinqubo zokuxoxa zibusa izinqubo zokubopha. Badinga ukufundisa ngokucophelela balale futhi balale. Kodwa-ke, lolu lwazi alwenziwa khona kubazali besimanje. Ngenkathi imfundiso iholela ekutheni akunakwenzeka ukufundisa ezinye izingane zesifuba ezandleni, akunakwenzeka ukuba kudale "isikhathi sencwadi". Ngeshwa, abanakekeli kuleli paradigm abazi ukuthi izingane zibhekene nengcindezi enkulu, azikwazi ukuzithoba. Kufanele bahlale munye kwesokukholelwa nokwesaba kwabo nokwesaba, bamhlalisa ngezifo zezingane futhi bakholelwe eqinisweni lokuthi akekho onokwethenjelwa eduze. Kamuva, kuhamba phambili, amashumishumi eminyaka, umalume wabadala nomalumekazi abadala abakwazi ukubhekana nokukhathazeka kwabo nokwethuka. Ngakho-ke, izindlela ezipholisayo zivame kakhulu.
Kodwa-ke, iphupho lethu manje lifunda ukukwenza ngokwakho - mayelana naleli phupho. Futhi impumelelo kuye ngale ndlela.
Futhi amaphupho akho? Thumela amaphupho akho nemibuzo nge-imeyili [email protected].
UMaria Dyachkova, isazi sezengqondo, udokotela wezokwelapha umndeni kanye nokuqeqeshwa okuholayo kweSikhungo Sokukhulisa Ukukhula KwaMarika Khazin