Ukuba ngumama esikhathini sethu ukujwayelekile. Ngaphezu kwalokho, lapho, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukahlukene, umamazela sekwephuze noma akwenzeki nhlobo, umfazi omncane uzokwazi ukugwema ukuzwelana futhi abhekise ukuthi "kukhona okungahambi kahle kuye". Ukuba ngumama kulungile futhi kufanele. Ngasikhathi sinye, umamazela uyingxenye kuphela yowesifazane. Umhlaba uyashintsha, futhi abesifazane abaningi ngokwengeziwe bayazi ukuthi ukukhubazeka kukhulu, kepha hhayi ingxenye yempilo eqeda amandla, engakwazi ukunxephezela amanye amaqembu awo. Noma ngabe kunalokho, lona wesifazane ubaleka ngokwengeziwe ekubandleni, lapho izingane zakhe zikhokhela khona lokhu kukhuthala. Izibonelo zaleso sisindo: Ngokwehluleka kukamama kwezemfundo, ezemidlalo, ubuqambi kusukela ekuseni kuze kube sebusuku, kufiphala kuma-mugs, ezikoleni nasezikhungweni. Konke okunomqondo omuhle wecala nokungakhokhi bakhula komama abamemezele ukukhuliswa kwezingane okuwukuphela kwencazelo yazo.
Kepha kungekudala, izingane ziyakhula zishiye abazali bazo, le yinqubo evamile yemvelo. Ngemuva kwalokho abazali, futhi umama ubhekene nenkinga eyengeziwe ebizwa ngokuthi yi- "Stend Nest Syndrome". Lesi yisiteji lapho abazali bethola ukuwa okunamandla kobunikazi babo obubizwa ngokuthi "Mina Mama". Futhi uma ngingeyena umama, njengoba wawuvame ukubala iminyaka eminingi, khona-ke ngingubani ke? Uma owesifazane azimisela ngokwawo ngokuba ngumama, aphilise impilo yakhe encazelweni elithile nezinhloso ezithile, lapho kwaba sekondendi, kanjani ukwakha futhi kuchaze impilo manje? Umbuzo onamandla kakhulu futhi othakazelisa kakhulu. Mayelana naleli phupho le-heroine yethu yanamuhla:
"Sinendodakazi yami endala kwelinye izwe, lihamba ngebhasi neqembu. Ngokuphazima kweso, umndeni uza eqenjini nengane encane, ungicela ukuba ngihlale naye. Ingane ingunyaka owodwa womzukulu wami, ngamnakekela ngentokozo. Ekugcineni, abazali bakhe beza, bathatha ingane, ngaqala ukubheka iqembu lami, indodakazi yami, kodwa angikwazi ukuthola muntu. Ngiyaqonda ukuthi baya esikhumulweni sezindiza, dlula ukubhaliswa ukuze ubuyele ekhaya. Ngidinga ukubathola, bamba. Ngizama ukumisa imoto, kepha akekho ovimba, ungikhungathekile kuphela emafasiteleni okudlula izimoto. Ngigijimisa umgwaqo omkhulu, ngandlela thile ngididekile ngokuphelele, ngiyaqonda ukuthi sengiphuzile ngendiza inhlekelele, anginaso isikhathi. Ubumnyama, buyasabisa kakhulu, futhi akekho noyedwa ongangilethela ukubuyela ekhaya. "
Iphupho lamaphupho ethu likhuluma naye ngokuthi angagxuma kalula endimeni "yezimbumbano." Le nkumbulo izoseduze kokuncane. Uyakuthanda nje lokho, asikho isidingo sokuveza umuntu futhi azame ukuba ngcono. Ingane, ikakhulukazi emincane - le yindoda encane ngaphandle kokulindelwe okuningi kuwe. Into esemqoka eceleni futhi inakekelwa. Ngakho-ke, kulula kakhulu ukususa zonke ezinye izindawo zokuphila futhi uzinikele ezinganeni. Kodwa-ke, iphupho lephupho alikho mayelana nale njabulo. Kukhombisa ukuthi le nkathi ilungiselelwe. Okungaba ngumama futhi ube ngugogo, njengasekuqaleni, uyingxenye yempilo. Ukuqamba lokhu, ungalahleka futhi ungabuyeli ekhaya, okungukuthi, kuwe, kwizinhloso zakho, amasu, imisebenzi. Ukulala kuphonsa ukuba zibambelele ngokwengeziwe, hhayi ngendima kagogo. Ukuze babambelele kuwe futhi bakwazi ukugcizelela okwakho, noma ngabe labo abazungezile babheka lokhu ngesihlamba. Isibonelo, ukuya, lapho izingane ezindala zicela ukuhlala nabazukulu. Mhlawumbe ukukhokha isikhathi se-suede kusuka ngesikhathi kuya emaphusheni, ahlehliswe ebhokisini elide: Ukukhokhela ukuhamba, ukuhlangana nabangane, yenza umsebenzi omusha.
Ngale ndlela, akekho owathi ukuthi kuzogonywa incenakali ngeqiniso lokuthi izingane zakhulela zashiya ikhaya labazali, zibiza izingane zazo futhi azivamisile ukubabiza. Kepha kucace kowesifazane ovuthiwe wemisebenzi yakhe yokuphila, okunamandla kuyakwazi ukuzibamba, okuphansi kuyodingeka ukuthi achotshozwe ngokuthi umuntu akekho yini.
Ngiyazibuza ukuthi uphupha ini? Thumela amaphupho akho nemibuzo nge-imeyili [email protected].
UMaria Dyachkova, isazi sezengqondo, udokotela wezokwelapha umndeni kanye nokuqeqeshwa okuholayo kweSikhungo Sokukhulisa Ukukhula KwaMarika Khazin