Kubonakala sengathi "ikhethini lensimbi" isikhathi eside lawa, kanyekanye naye, kanye nokwenqatshelwa kwenqatshelwe yizindikimba ezibucayi kangako njengocansi. Futhi lapha abesifazane sebevele bahlanekezelwe ngocansi nezintombi ezinezintombi e-cafe, ezijwayelekile futhi ... namadoda ngosuku lokuqala. Futhi kubukeka sengathi akukho lutho olusolwa ngalo - cabanga, ubulili! Benza konke, ngakho-ke kungani ungakhulumi ngakho? Kepha kuyisimo esinjalo sokusondelana ngokomzimba okungadlala ihlaya nawe - uzojabulisa ogibeni olufihliwe kahle, thola indlela ephumayo engeyona elula. Kuyiqiniso, uma ubudlelwano bakho nendoda bukhula isikhathi eside impela, futhi ukusondela okusondelene ku-pair yakho sekuvele kunjalo, khona-ke ungakhuluma ngocansi futhi unesidingo. Kepha uma nje uhlangana, abakakwazi ukuthola futhi banqobe omunye nomunye, ukuthinta isihloko socansi olungenzeki ngokwezigaba.
Ukusekela ingxoxo ethobekile ngokobulili ngosuku lokuqala noma lwesibili, ubeka engcupheni iqiniso lokuthi indoda ingaqala ukubona wena nhlobo njengoba ungathanda. Noma ngabe esigabeni sokuqala sokwakhiwa kobudlelwano, yena uqobo uqala isihloko socansi, khona-ke, owuthuthukisa ngokuzithandela, endabeni yemizuzwana, wayicisha inkosazana kwi-trophy ehlwelisiwe. Izingxoxo eziphathelene nocansi ziphendula kanjani ekhanda labesilisa, nokuthi zisabele kanjani kuzo ukuze zihlale zingaqondakali futhi zifisele kuye? Ngalesi ngikhona, uJulia Lansk, Uthando-Umqeqeshi No. 1 emhlabeni ukubona umklomelo we-American Idate Award Award, uzokhuluma esihlokweni sanamuhla.
UJulia Lansk
Khuluma ngocansi osondelene nobulili
Ngokweningi labesilisa, owesifazane ongenamkhawulo kanye nama-oscillations mayelana nezocansi alungele ngokuzenzakalelayo ukusondela okusondelene naye manje ...
Kungakho lona wesifazane engeke angagcini ngokuqala isihloko socansi nendoda, kodwa futhi asekele noma yiziphi izingxoxo ngakho ekuqaleni kokuthuthukiswa kobudlelwano. Ukuqaphela ukuthi le ndoda "iphishekela inhlabathi", izama ukuthola ingxoxo "ebabayo" nawe, zama ukudlulisa isihloko esiqondisweni esithe xaxa ". Isihloko socansi nendoda akufanele siphakanyiswe uze ube umbhangqwana futhi ungakhe ubudlelwano bokuthembela.
Kwenzekani uma uqhubeka ngenye indlela - vumela umuntu obala ukuthi akhulume nawe ngocansi? Uzothola ubudlelwano obuzosuselwa ikakhulu ekukhulumeni ngokomzimba noma kuyo yonke "i-adventure" yobusuku obubodwa. Yingakho ...
- Onke amadoda ayabanqoba;
- Ukulinda akuhambelani neqiniso;
- Akunasisusa sokwakha ubudlelwano.
Amadoda - Abanqobi
Ngokwemvelo, ngaphandle kokuhlukile, amadoda afuna ukunqoba - uma kungenjalo idolobha namazwe, khona-ke abesifazane abahle. Futhi esigabeni sokuqala sobudlelwano, basibona njengohlobo lwe-dessert olungathola futhi lubeke leli phuzu. Kungakho kungekho muntu obheka ngokushesha owakwakhe ikusasa kini nasoduki lokuzwa kwezwe. Esikhundleni salokho, uzoqala ukusikisela "ubuhle" obufunayo, ubizo ngocansi. Futhi, sesisekele isinyathelo sabesilisa, owesifazane uqobo, engafuni, uwela kumanethiwekhi obuqili. Futhi-ke - incane, ngoba, imvamisa, amasu amasu okukhohlisa asetshenziswa ngenkuthalo aze athole umphumela oyifunayo.
Ukunqoba inhliziyo yomuntu, ungaphuthumi - futhi futhi futhi ngeke ngikhulume ngocansi, noma ukusondela okusondele kakhulu ...
Wonke amadoda - abanqobi
Photo: Unsplisish.com.
Ukulinda akulona iqiniso
Imvamisa izingxoxo ezishisayo nendoda ephathelene nocansi kungenzeka zingacacisi okulindelwe. Ngesikhathi sokusondela okusondelene, izimo ezingezinhle zivame ukuvela. Hhayi ngesikhathi, ukukhanya okuthambekele, umusho ongafanele, ukunyakaza kwe-clemurier ... konke lokhu kungaba yisizathu sokuthi le ndoda 'ipholile phansi' futhi, okungenzeka ukuthi iya ekushoneni kwelanga.
Kwakungeke kube khona isimo esinjalo uma bobabili abalingani bekulungele ukuya ocansini. Lapho owesilisa nowesifazane baphuthuma "ukuthatha isikhundla esivundlile," futhi esikhundleni salokho, omunye nomunye uzosondela, ubudlelwane babo bokuqala obusondelene buqiniseka ngokwengeziwe. Ezimweni ezinjalo, abalingani bazizwa bengcono, ngoba inyunyana yabo isivele igcwele ukuzethemba nokuqonda.
Ukuntuleka kwesisusa sokuthuthukisa ubudlelwano
Izingxoxo zakuqala ngocansi futhi, ikakhulukazi, ukusondela ngaphambi kwesikhathi kuncishiswe isisusa somuntu. Kubukeka ngakuye ukuthi usevele wakuthola konke okuthakazelisa kakhulu kusuka ku- "Maliacle engahleliwe", ngakho-ke akunangqondo ukuba "ukuvule".
Inselelo yabesifazane - Khombisa amadoda umhlaba wakho wangaphakathi, okuvumela ukuthi wazi kangcono ngokwengqondo, hhayi imigomo yezocansi. Lokhu kuzodinga hhayi umhlangano owodwa futhi kukhulume nemiphefumulo, lapho azokwazi khona ukuqaphela - nansi, lokho kuphela, okuwukuphela kowesifazane engangifuna ...
Khumbula: Khuluma ngocansi kungenye yezinto zokuvuselelwa kwabesilisa ezingenakunqotshwa uma ufuna ukwakha ubuhlobo obungathi sína. Imibuzo mayelana nosayizi wesifuba, inzuzo yokukhetha ngokocansi, ukusondela kokugcina okusondelene nokunye ukufana okufanayo kufanele kugwenywe, ikakhulukazi uma usanda kuhlangana futhi ungakakwazi ukukwazi ukuthola omunye nomunye. Ungasabela kanjani kule mibuzo? Khuluma, unamahloni, wehlise amehlo akho noma umane ushintshe isihloko, ukumnika ukuqonda: awukakulungeli izingxoxo ezinjalo okwamanje.
Kuyinto yezehlakalo namahloni okuyimizwa esondelene nocansi. Ngasikhathi sinye, 'abayekethise' ngowesifazane, akwenzi kungabizi emehlweni endoda. Zama ukungakhombisi ukunganeliseki, ukuthukuthela futhi ujabule uhlobo lwakho: "Anginjalo." Ngakho-ke, uyazibeka engcupheni esesabisayo indoda, iphoqelele ngokuphelele ukuheha kwayo okungokwemvelo. Ukusabela okulungile emizameni yendoda okufanele ikhulume ngocansi kuzokwenza kube nentshisekelo enkulu kuwe nesifiso sokukunqoba. Enye yezinketho zokuphendula okulungile yindlela ethi "Shintsha" Yami "Yami".
Inqubo "switch"
Izincazelo zobuchwepheshe ukushintshanisa indoda ngobumnene ngengqikithi yezocansi kuya kwenye - enye indlela. Umsebenzi wakho ukuhola imicabango yakhe komunye umbhede, yenza ucabange ngomngane, ngaleyo ndlela ukhiphe ngokungazikhise emehlweni akhe kuya ezingeni elisha elifanele. Isibonelo, zama ukuwucisha esihlokweni esibuhlungu ku-Expressional ehlakaniphile kakhulu: "Yebo, unesifiso esikhulu sokuphikisana, a noma uSigmund Freud. Kepha ngiseduze naseJung. Ake ungitshele, ingabe uyifundile imisebenzi yaleli sefilosofi? "
Ungabambezeleka ngokuzikhandla ngesihloko sengxoxo. Ngombuzo oqondile wempendulo yesifundo sezocansi: "Yebo, lesi sihloko siyangijabulisa, futhi ngangizokukhuluma ngenjabulo. Kunjalo nje ngalokhu ngixhumana nabantu abakwazi kahle, hhayi ngaphambi kosuku lwesishiyagalombili. Ungalinda? "
Ngakho-ke ingxoxo ebukekayo izokwenza isivunguvungu semizwa yonke endodeni, emva kwakhe ufuna ukukunqoba futhi, yiqiniso, izolinda indlela eyisishiyagalombili.