OKUFANELE UKWENZE UKUZE UTHANDE NGEMVA KOMPHAKATHI WOMUNYE WOKWENZA KWAKHO?

Emikhuba yami ye-Psychotherapeutic, ngihlala ngithola inkinga yokukhaphela. Maye, namuhla, njengakuqala, ukuvukela umbuso komoya kuyinto evamile. Abekho abantu bezemidlalo abatshela ama-anecdotes, ukudubula ama-movie, bhala izincwadi ngalesi sihloko. Izizathu zoshintsho zingeze zihluke kakhulu - isifiso sokwehluka kocansi, ukunganeliseki okujwayelekile ngomshado, isifiso sokuzikhulisa, ukuziphindisela ngokuphendula ngokuvukelana okufanayo, ukungabi nenye indlela yokugcwalisa ubudlelwano kanye kanjalo. Futhi-ke, lapho abantu bebhekana nalomcimbi ongathandeki, umbuzo uvukile - yini okufanele uyenze ngokulandelayo? Ungayenza kanjani? Isaphulelo noma cha? Ukuvukela umbuso kungadala ubuhlungu obungabekezeleleki, ngoba lokhu kuyisimanga ebudlelwaneni, ngokuzethemba, ngokuzwa ubunye bakho. Lesi yinkinga, ukusinda okungekho lula kangako. Futhi into yokuqala okufanele yenziwe ukuvuma ukuthi ngikulesi simo esibucayi futhi ngidinga ukusekelwa nozwela. Yebo, yebo, mina, hhayi omunye umuntu. Usizo lungaxoxa nabathandekayo. Noma, kunalokho, ukuze alulame ngokushesha, umuthi omuhle kakhulu ungaba nesizungu. Omunye ulusizo uzoya enkundleni yemidlalo yeshashalazi noma ku-movie ukuhambisa. Amathuba okuzindla kakhulu, futhi wonke umuntu. Into esemqoka ukubona ukudabuka kwakho futhi uzisole ngendlela efanele.

Lapho-ke kubalulekile ukuzama ukubheka isimo ngaleyo ngxenye, ukuzihlukanisa nengqondo kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho. Akudingeki unganaki futhi ucindezele imizwa yakho, kepha akufanele ilandelwe ngokuphelele ngabo. Ukuthatha isikhundla sangaphandle esimweni salesi simo, kuzoba lula ukuqonda ukuthi ufunani ebudlelwaneni. Ungazama ukucabanga ukuthi ubudlelwano buphelile, futhi usinde lobu buhlungu. Iwusizo kuzokhumbula ukuthi yimiphi imigomo onayo emshadweni, okuletha injabulo ngokungafani nomlingani, futhi ucabange ukuthi ungaqhubeka nokuphila ngaphandle kwalobu budlelwano. Ukuqwashisa ukuthi awusakaza, kungaba ukwesekwa okukhulu ekubuyiselweni kwenyunyana yakho. Ngifuna ukugcizelela ukuthi asikhulumi ngesikhundla sokubonisa "hhayi kakhulu osidingayo," okusho ukuthi "Varnekisi kimi."

Futhi ekugcineni, into ebaluleke kakhulu (ngaphambi kokuthi ilungiselele) ukwenza inkhulumomphendvulwano evulekile nomlingani wayo. Xoxa ngokwenzeka ngokwenzeka ngaphakathi komshado, esishintshile kamuva nje, lokho obhekana nakho lokho okwenzekile ngokwenzekile, njengoba ubona imiphumela yalesi simo. Ngasikhathi sinye, zama ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile, ukugwema abagxeki kanye nokusolwa, bazokwenza umlingani azozivikela kuphela futhi ngeke asize ekuxazululeni inkinga.

Namanje wafunwa Xalisa ngalokho okungafanele ukwenze:

- Sesha ukwesekwa okuvela kumlingani. Ngeke akwazi ukukunika wena, ngoba yena uqobo ugcwele imizwa ephikisanayo;

- Landelela njalo lapho umyeni / insizwa yakho futhi wenzani. Futhi futhi zivame ukubuza ukuthi ucabangani. Lokhu kungaholela emphumeleni okungenhla, njengoba ubudlelwane buzotholwa njengezinhlathu ezinzima;

- Xoxa ngamaNuances of Turveason - Kuphi, lapho, kanye, le mininingwane kuzokhunjulwa isikhathi eside, kunzima ukukhohlwa, futhi iminyaka eminingi bazokulimaza.

Yebo, impendulo yendawo yonke yombuzo: "Yini okufanele uyenze manje?" ayikho. Kepha, senze umsebenzi ofanayo kuye, ukuze aphendule kuye futhi enze isinqumo kuzoba lula.

Imibhangqwana ehlukene ilandisa ngokuhlukile ekuvukeleni umbuso. Omunye umuntu kulula ukusinda wakhe, othile unzima ngokwengeziwe. Njengoba sengivele ngabhala kwesinye sezindatshana ezedlule, inhlekelele ingadilizwa ebudlelwaneni, futhi mhlawumbe nethuba lentuthuko. Kulesi simo, owesibili ancike ekutheni abalingani abahola phambili bazokwazi ukudingida kanjani ubudlelwano, babhekise ngokucophelela imizwa yomunye nomunye futhi bathembele kubo kulesi simo.