Kukholakala ukuthi izwe elingaphakathi elijulile lihlala libaluleke kakhulu kunokubukeka okuhle. Kodwa-ke, abesilisa nabesifazane, kuyavela, ngezindlela ezihlukile zihumusha lesi sahlulelo. I-Tsert-Psychotherapist, umqeqeshi ngenhloso yenhloso ye-Ilya BearetSetv kanye ne-RPT-Therapist, umqeqeshi wokuthuthuka kwabesifazane u-Irina Shekunov phikisana ngokubaluleka kokuthobela isithombe nokuqukethwe.
Irina : Ilya, sawubona. Namuhla ngithanda ukukhuluma nawe ngobufazi. Namuhla kuyisihloko esithandwa kakhulu, futhi omagazini abaningi besifazane, izincwadi, imibukiso yethelevishini ihlala ikhuluma ngokuthi owesifazane kufanele abe yini. Isibonelo, i-classic ukuthi owesifazane kufanele abe ngumama ekhaya, indlovukazi emphakathini kanye nesifebe embhedeni. Sengivele ngithule ngesithombe sangaphandle, okuthi, ngokusho komamagazini abaningi, owesifazane kufanele alunge. Ngifuna ukuzwa umbono wakho njengamadoda kanye nodokotela wezengqondo, kulokhu. Ingabe kubalulekile isithombe?
Ilya : Ungayelapha ngazo zonke izindlela, kepha siphila eminyakeni yezithombe. Instagram in umkhuba. Noma yimuphi umakethi uzokutshela ukuthi isithombe sithengisa ngaphezu kombhalo. Njengoba abantu abavela esitashini esisemthethweni ezingutsheni bathuthela kumuntu ngamunye, kwakukhona umehluko ombalwa phakathi kwezwe elingaphakathi lomuntu nokubonakaliswa kwangaphandle. Ungabona ukuthi umuntu ubukeka kanjani, futhi okuningi okufanele akuqonde ekuqaleni kokubona. Hhayi ngokuchuma kwakhe - kwakunzima nje - futhi nangendlela azizwa ngayo ngaphakathi. Ngicabanga ukuthi manje isithombe sibaluleke kakhulu. Akunandaba noma ngabe bakukhuthaza kanjani abameli bezincwadi kanye nokujula, indoda yesimanje ibona isithombe bese iqonda ngokushesha, "njengokuthi" noma cha "." Safundiswa ukubona ukungahambelani esithombeni nasezweni elingaphakathi. Ngamunye wethu uchwepheshe omncane obonakalayo. Ngabe ucabanga ngenye indlela?
Irina : Ngilapha, mhlawumbe, angivumelani nawe. Ukuzindla namandla kwangaphakathi kubaluleke kakhulu kunengaphandle. Zama ukukhumbula amacala empilweni yakho lapho ujwayelane nentombazane, futhi kubukeka sengathi konke kuhamba kahle kuyo - izinwele ezigcinwe kahle, isikhumba esihlanzekile, isitayela esihle sezingubo. Konke okukuyo kuhlangana namazinga, kepha ngasikhathi sinye okuphindayo. Futhi awukwazi ngisho nokuqonda ngqo okuzama ukuthola izaba nemizwa yakho, kepha awukwazi. Kukangaki ngizwe ngentombi yami emnyama yokuthi amadoda ajwayelekile ahlambalaze ngezikhathi ezithile ephelele. Ngasikhathi sinye, isisindo sentombazane sasijwayelekile, noma noma ngaphansi nje kwalokho.
Imfihlo ukuthi ebuntwaneni ngempela wayenezinkinga ezincane ngesisindo, ezazihamba zedwa ngemuva kobusha. Futhi umuzwa wokuthi ngeke alimaze ukwehlisa isisindo, ashiye endaweni ethile ekujuziseni. Ucabanga ukuthi yini esakaza abanye ngokungazi? Kwesokudla. Iqiniso lokuthi wayengeke alimaze ukulahlekelwa amakhilogremu ambalwa. Futhi ezungeze mane usabele esithembisweni sakhe. Ngokuphambene, mhlawumbe ubonile ukuthi kunamantombazane aqhele kakhulu emazingeni obuhle, futhi ngasikhathi sinye anokuzethemba, ubulili kanye ne-charm, ngokushesha, emandleni e-char yakhe, futhi eduze kwawo Intombazane enjalo ifuna ukuba njalo. Lapho intombazane izizwa ikhanga, izozwakala kuyo, noma ngabe ibukeka kanjani.
Ilya : Kepha mina - konke kukodwa. Uma umuntu nganoma yisiphi isizathu ebukeka sengathi uyazizwa, uhlala engxabanweni ethile. Futhi kunezindlela zokukhetha, ukuthi zenziwa kanjani ngale ngxabano. Noma ukuba nguyena engizama ukubonakala (ngokwesibonelo, imenenja efanelekile ngenaliti, amahora angama-24 athintana). Noma uphonsa ukubukeka kwakho bese uthola i-buzz evela kulokho engiyikho ngempela (ngokwesibonelo, i-hippie). Cishe uye ekuyekethiseni kwangaphakathi: "Yize ngizizwa nginephutha, kepha abanye bayazi ngakho ngokuzikhethela" (iningi lesintu). Kepha iqiniso ngukuthi, njengoba ubona kahle, amandla angaphakathi awadli. Usazothola indlela yokuphuma. Hhayi isipho sentombazane esivame ukuguqula izinwele zezinwele lapho zihlukana nabafana. Konke kuxhunyiwe. Futhi ukubukeka kwethu kungathinta isimo sangaphakathi, okuphambene nalokho. Kubukeka kimi kunzima ukusho ukuthi kulesi simo kubaluleke kakhulu.
Irina : Ngiyakuqonda, u-Ilya. Futhi, ngokuvamile, ngiyavuma. Akuwona wonke umuntu onalokhu kuvumelana. Futhi abaningi bahlukunyezwa ngokungqubuzana kwesembozo nokuqukethwe. Futhi ukufisa ngokweqile kwesithombe kungaqinisa kuphela ukungqubuzana kwangaphakathi nangaphandle. Ngakho-ke, ngizokweluleka abafundi ukuthi baqale ngokuhle kakhulu ukuzwa umzimba wakho nezidingo zako, ukubona ukuthi kwenzekani ngabo, futhi ngokushesha nje kunokuqonda ukuthi empeleni engingakuqalwa ngokwenza isithombe sangaphandle esifanele ziveze kangcono. Kunomkhuba omuhle wokuzindla nokuxilonga kwalokhu. Yima uqonde, uzizwe izinyawo zomhlaba, ake ucabange, kungathi izinyawo zakho zingena kuzo, njengezimpande zezihlahla. Shayela ngokujulile, gxila kuwo wonke umoya nokukhipha. Zizwe okwenzeka emzimbeni. Ngemuva kwalokho, lapho ukuxhumana nomzimba kuyabuyiselwa, athi engqondweni "Mina" futhi ubona ukuthi yisiphi isithombe esivela ekuqaphekeni kwakho? Yiziphi imizwa emzimbeni ephakama kusukela kulomfanekiso? Kungenzeka yini ukumthanda? Yenza lo mkhuba nsuku zonke, imizuzu emi-3-4, futhi ngaso sonke isikhathi lapho konke kungcono futhi kungcono ukuqonda okwenzekayo ezweni lakho elingaphakathi.