Abameli bezikolo ezahlukeneyo zengqondo kunye neendlela zokuhlangana, kodwa ngokuqinisekileyo: Zihlala zingamacandelo amathathu kuthi, iinxalenye zobuntu bethu. Sithetha ngomntwana, umzali kunye nabantu abadala. Batsho umntu onesidima, owonwabileyo ngulowo ukwiLada kunye nawo amathathu, amathathu, ngaphezu kokuphela komntu omdala. Kodwa, njengoko kubonisa ukuba, bade bazole kwaye bazolileyo nabanemilinganiselo yokuhambelana nale ndlela akukho lula. Ke indlela yokuvusa "ngobulumko"? Uya kuyinceda inkqubo yokuqalisa.
Ukuqalwa ligama elinye elinephulo eliziwa kakuhle ": ngokusekelwe kobabini uyilo - i-latin ye-latimu, oko kukuthi," uqala ". Imalunga nesiqalo-amanqanaba amatsha obomi-kwaye uza kuxutyushwa kwizinto zethu zanamhlanje. "Inokuba yintoni imfihlakalo okanye ingxaki apha?" -Ubuza. Kuyinyani, kuba sonke sizazi ezi zinto: Ukuzalwa, Wayefunda, watshata, umntwana wakhe wawuthwala, waluphele, wasweleka. Wonke umntu ufumana utshintsho ukusuka kwelinye inqanaba ukuya kwelinye, ukujamelana kakubi kwaye kuhamba ...
Awu, kodwa oku akusoloko kunjalo. Abanye bethu banamathele ebuntwaneni ixesha elide, bengakwazi ukufunda ukuthatha uxanduva. Abanye bawela kwezinye izinto ezigqithileyo kwaye abazali bazama ukulawula nganye yedwa (kwaye kubaluleke kakhulu - kunye nomnye umntu!) Isenzo somnye umntu! hayi uThixo, kwaye gcina yonke into ephantsi kolawulo ayiphumi). Asikhuli ngendlela yokwenene, yonke indlela yethu yokuhlala "intombazana", "umama", "utata" okanye "nyana". Ukuze ube ngamanye amaxesha ngala maziko, akukho nto iphosakeleyo. Khumbula nje ukuba ukhumbule ngokupheleleyo kukwakha ikamva lakho, yenza ukhetho, impazamo, qaphela le nto kwaye uqhubekise ' Ngaphandle kokuvavanya, ubambisa amathuba amaninzi kwaye ungahoyi amandla akho amakhulu. Kodwa ukutsho: "Ukucombulula!" -Ngalula, kodwa ukwenza ukuba akukho lula. Apha kunceda uncedo kwaye uza nolona lukhulu, oko kukuthi, inkqubo yenguqu yomntu ngamnye kwinqanaba elitsha lophuhliso.
Yima phambi kwam ...
Oko sicinga ukuba namhlanje sibonakala ngathi kukokuqala, oonozkhulu noonotomkhulu bangeke oko kubizwayo, kunye nobisi lukamama. Yaqalisa, emva koko yaqalisa. Eyokuqala neyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu enjalo yayikukubhaptiza (kwaye ngaphambili - intshayelelo yomnye, enye inkolo): Ngumntwana ozelwe ovela kwi-ndoda engaqondakaliyo yaba yindoda evakaliswayo, yangcwatywa kakhulu inqanaba elitsha wangcwatywa .
Abanye abantu banjalo bonke ubomi babo kwaye bahlala kwindima yabantwana
Ifoto: Pexols.com.com.
Sinolwazi olupheleleyo malunga nokuqalwa kwabantwana abakwishumi elivisayo, kwaye emva kwabantu abadala. Oku kubonakala kusongelelwa zonke iintsomi esiyaziyo. Khumbula nje: Ngamanye amaxesha iimvavanyo ezikrwada, zitsho ukuba zilungile kubuntwana babo ukuba ziphinde zibuyele kwindawo eyahlukileyo - indoda yabantu abadala kunye nayo yonke imitshato eyonwabileyo). Ezi bhonasi ziza kubo ngobunzima obukhulu, kwaye kungekuphela nje kuba kuza ixesha kwaye amagorha afezekisile inani elifanelekileyo leminyaka. Iyenzeka kwakhona ukuba abanye bokuqalisa akedluleli, kwaye, ewe, abanakuphila ngakumbi (le yintombazana nje eyaziwayo).
Oko sikufundayo malunga neencwadi kwenziwa ngookhokho bethu ngokwenyani, nakwezinye iindawo ngoku kwaye ngoku. Ngelixa impucuko yanamhlanje inika abemi bawo bencwadana yokundwendwela kwaye baxhobise ukuba bavote, izizwe zase-Afrika kunye namaMelika baqala abantwana babo ngoncedo olungaqhelekanga kwaye luphantse lube yimigaqo eyingozi. Kukholelwa ukuba, ukoyisa uloyiko kunye nentlungu, umntwana uqhubeka esiya kwinyathelo elilandelayo, "ukubulala" ngokwakhe akancedi ubuntwana obutsha, abantu abadala.
Nangona kunjalo, ayizizo zonke iziko kwinguqu ukusuka kwinqanaba ukuya kwinqanaba lalingathandeki kwaye libuhlungu. Ke, siyazi iziko le-slavic le-idiot (inguqu yamantombazana ukuya kwi-Girl) kunye ne-kalita (i-kalita (abakwishumi elivisayo bahlanganisana, bezibuza, beza kubakho, ekwabelwana ngayo ngokusondeleyo.
"Andazi ukuba kutheni, kodwa emva kokuba ndibhale nawe ndiziva ndingumfazi wokwenene!" -Ngambiywe uthintelo lwethu marusya. Wahlukana nomama, wakhula notata onothando, kodwa wayemhle kakhulu icebiso labasetyhini kunye ne-ceress kwaye ngenxa yoko wayehlala esabela kumnxeba wokuhlanganisa. Iintlanganiso zethu azifani kwiintombi eziqhelekileyo ezinamantombazana: Ukuhleba, iwayini encinci, ukubukela i-ficucud honoring ... umntu othile wambeka amabinzana, emva koko walala okanye walala. Kwilizwi, akukho nto ingaqhelekanga - kodwa kwi "marus" engafakwanga "yethuba lokuchitha loo thuba lokuchitha ngokuhlwa nonina kunye nabahlobo bakhe, i-bachelides ye-Psychotherapist. Oku kuyaqondakala, kuba yayingaguqulelwanga "ukusuka kwimeko yentombazana, ngaphandle kwento yokuba uMarusi wakhulisa oonyana abathathu, apho babengakhathalelanga khona imiphefumlo. Iintlanganiso ezinamantombazana amnceda ukuba "evuthwe" kwizihloko "uMama" kunye "nomfazi."
Iingcali zengqondo ziqinisekile: Namhlanje, ukungena ngesondo kunye nokuzalwa kwabantwana akusoloko "kuguqulela" umntu abe kwinqanaba elitsha. Ibiya kubonakala ngathi: Awuseyinkwenkwe, kodwa umyeni wam (kwaye uhlala enguyise), kuba unomfazi kunye nomntwana, kodwa thatha kwaye akhule - eyahluke ngokupheleleyo. Umbutho wethu, ukuhlangula ngokuvuthayo 'kwintsalela yexesha elidlulileyo "ngezithethe zayo kunye nezithethe zayo, zinqongophele ngamasiko kunye nezithethe. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukongeza kwintsingiselo yomlingo kunye nengcwele, ethi wonke umntu unelungelo lokunyamezela okanye angayikhumbuli isiko, inelinye ithuba ... Lulungiselela nje utshintsho olukhulu.
Kubonakala ngathi kulungiselela ngokuchanekileyo kwaye yeyona nto iphambili kwinkqubo ebalulekileyo yokuqalisa. Uyazi, andikulungelanga ukuba ndiba ngutata konke konke! -U-Oleg wakhalaza ngam ngandlela thile. Ndikunye nenkosikazi yakhe, babefuna umntwana ixesha elide, wazama, ukubaleka koogqirha, funda iincwadi ezininzi. Kodwa u-Oleg akazange wenzeke kweli bali kweli bali. Kamva naye wathetha ngale nto: "Ndindazi ngokupheleleyo ukuba banjani aba bantwana. Andizange ndigcine umntwana ezandleni. Ungaze uncede nabani na onabantwana. Nditsho nemidyari kunye neekhitshi azizange zikhathalelwe! Xa kwakusenzeka ukuba ngumzali, ndamangalelwa eTerra Ingenayo ngamehlo avalekileyo, kwaye oku kuya kuba yinzuzo yokuba liyinxalenye yayo. " Kwaye i-Oleg, ngelishwa, ayikwazanga ukuthetha ngayo ngomama notata, kuba inkedama.
Nokuba ubukho bomtshato kunye nabantwana akuqinisekisi ukuba. ukuba "dorosli" kwindima yomzali
Ifoto: Pexols.com.com.
Kaninzi kwenzeka nabazali abaphilayo. Ngenxa yobunzima bokunxibelelana nesizukulwana 'sootata "kwaye bengaphumeleli izithethe ezikhethekileyo, amadoda amancinci izolo namantombazana ahamba ngokoqobo ukuba aphile amanqanaba obomi. Ngethamsanqa, abanye bolu luxanduva bathabatha uluntu ukuba luphela: Sithetha kakuhle kwi-kindergarden kwaye emva koko umnxeba wokugqibela uyakhala kuthi, emva koko uye wasebenza. Kodwa ngamanye amaxesha iinkqubo zokuhlaliswa azinakuthelekiswa neenkqubo zoluntu, kwaye emva koko umfundi wezolo uye kwisimo se "MFAZWE kanaphakade" ngaphandle kokuzichaza umzuzu wokwenene. Masibone ukuba yintoni kwaye unganceda njani ukuba kwinqanaba elitsha.
Umntu womelele kwaye mkhulu
Indoda endala - ngubani kuwe? Ngokukhawuleza ndicinga ukuba ndingumntu onamandla, ndizolile kwaye ndinamandla, kulungile, ndomelele kwaye ndizinzile kakhulu. Vumelani, kulungile xa umntu ekhuselwe kwaye eziphatha. Kwaye hayi indlela yokulahlekelwa ngumcebisi! Kodwa kufuneka ufumane: kungekudala okanye kamva abadala bethu abakhulu nabanesilumko (abazali abaninzi bahlala kule ndima) bayayeka ukuziphathela. Kwaye ke ukuvela kwethu kuthatha lo mthwalo. Inoxanduva lobomi babo kwaye iqulethe eyona nto ikhulayo. Umntwana wethu ongaphakathi akacingi ngayo, ukubonakalisa indima yakhe kunye namaphupha ethu, vuye kwaye wothuke. Kodwa inxalenye yobomi bethu ayisosizathu impendulo ngokwayo; Ufuna ukulawula, hlula kwaye ajike abanye. Kuphela ubuntu obukhulayo ngokwenene onokwazi ukucwangcisa ngaphandle kwedrama kunye noxinzelelo kwaye wamkele imiphumo yezenzo zabo.
Ndibonakala ndide kum ukuba ndingu "Big"! Ndinemisebenzi emininzi kakhulu, imisebenzi emininzi yemihla ngemihla. Kwaye kutsha nje, ndiye ndaqonda ukuba zonke "ezenzo" zam "zimiliselo yezalamane zam kunye nabantu obathandayo abafuna uncedo lwam. Eli libali eliqhelekileyo: Rhoqo abantu abanoxanduva lwangaphandle nabaqokelelweyo banabazali "abalungileyo abalungileyo" ngabazali. " Bayakhusela kwaye benza, bekhusela kwaye bakhokele wonke umntu, ngaphandle kwawo. Isiphumo seli bali inye: Kungekudala unamandla, kwaye ubomi bakho buya kuba yinto ngaphandle kwenkxalabo malunga nommelwane. Iphi imeko enjalo ngaphandle kwedrama kunye nexhala!
Kukho eminye imizekelo. Umhlobo wam uChristina ngumzekelo obonakalayo womntwana osemzimbeni webhinqa elibantu abadala (ngaphandle kwabathathu). Ngokutsho kukaChristina, wonke umntu makamncede, kuba yena ngumama ongatshatanga, kwaye othathu! Ukuba uncedo alwenzi ukuba, zonke ezinokuthi zibalwe, iba netyala lokusilela kwakhe. Wonke umntu unyanzelekile ukuba angenele isikhundla sakhe, aqonde, axolele.
I kunye neChristina - abameli abaqaqambileyo abaqaqambileyo hayi kwisizwe esiqolileyo, esifuna ukuya kumgangatho "umntu omdala". Ikwaneminyaka eneminyaka kwaye kubudala, nakwiimpawu zangaphandle (abantwana, iikati, amadoda kunye nolunye ubomi). Kwaye njengathi, amawaka. Ke njani?
Okokuqala, qonda imeko yakho kunye nemeko yokwenene yemicimbi. Unokuba nguBawo Onako ongazange abe yindoda, umfazi ophantsi kweminyaka engamashumi amahlanu azama ukulawula ikamva labanye abantu, umfana omncinci kakhulu, ngaphambi kokuba lililizwe elitsha elimangalisayo. Inye kuphela into ebalulekileyo: Uyayiqonda le nto ngesizathu esithile awuyi "irhafu" ngobomi bakho.
Inyathelo elilandelayo kukuqonda ukuba ngaphandle kwezenzo ezithile akuyi kwenzeka kwiyona nto ifunekayo. Ayimangalisi loo nto kwimibutho yezentlalo yemveli inxulunyaniswa nentlungu yomzimba. Ke abazali bakhusela abantwana babo kwintlungu yokomoya, belungiselela ubomi obahlukileyo. Khumbula ukuba ihlala isenza somelele? Inyaniso yokuba iphantse yasiqhekeza kube kanye. Andinibongoze ukuba niphendukele ngokungxamisekileyo amasiko, kodwa ndikhathalele, ukuba ndingumntu omdala, yimfuneko ukuba nditshone ngemeko entle, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha ayibubuntwana kwaye ibuhlungu ngokwenene, kodwa yenzakalisa ngokwenene kwaye kunzima kakhulu, kodwa kunenzakala nje.
Okokuqala, kuyimfuneko ukuba uyeke abanye abantu kwimeko yabo yemicimbi. Ewe kunjalo, ukuba indalo ichaphazela ikamva lethu. Kodwa ungaqinisekanga ukuba bayenza ibali lakho! Ukuthatha isigqibo sokwenza yonke imihla. Mayibe incinci, ingenantsingiselo (eyokujonga) izenzo, ukhetho lwengubo, iindlela ozakuya emsebenzini, indlela, olungiselela ukulala. Funda kungekuphela nje ukwenza ukhetho, kodwa ukwamkela iziphumo zayo, ukuqonda umngcipheko onokubakho.
Zama ukusebenzisa inkululeko yezemali. Le yeyona nto ibaluleke kakhulu yokukhula. Ukucwangciswa kohlahlo-lwabiwo mali, ubomi, ngaphandle kwetyala kunye nemali mboleko ongakwaziyo ukuvala - uphawu lobuntu obuqolileyo.
Funda ukubala ngokwakho, ngelixa ungoyiki ukucela uncedo. Kwangelo xesha, siwushiya ngokukhawuleza umfanekiso we-Superchel: Kubhetele ukuba uyazi kakuhle into onokuyinyamezela nayiphi na imeko, kodwa uyaqonda ukuba uyathandabuza ukwenza oko .
Okokugqibela, faka izilangazelelo zakho kwisahluko. Okwangoku kukho amanqaku amabini abalulekileyo ekufuneka uvunyelwene ngayo. Okokuqala, umdla wakho kufuneka ukhonze ngokwakho. Ukuba "thumela" ngaba bazali okanye iqabane, inxenye "yabantwana" yakho yabantwana iyasebenza. Okwesibini, kubalulekile ukuba uqonde ukuba wenzeni indlela ofuna ngayo, kakhulu (!) Kunzima. Ithintela imvakalelo yomsebenzi kunye nemvakalelo yokuziva unetyala, esisilandela kwizithende kwaye siqhelekile ukuba abantu abakwiindawo "zabazali". Ukuze ufunde, kufuneka uziqhelise. Kukho ithuba lokwenza le ndlela oyifunayo? Sukucinga!
Enye yeendlela zokuqalisa ezinamandla ziqwalaselwa ... iinwele!
Ifoto: Pexols.com.com.
Ngaphambi kokutsiba
Kwaye yintoni ukuqalwa? Unantoni apha? Unxibelelwano ngqo: Ukuqalisa libali malunga noqeqesho, malunga nokuqokelelwa kunye nokufunyanwa kwemikhosi, malunga nokufumana amandla phezu kwakhe nobomi bakhe. Ngokucacileyo, emva kokuba amandla, namandla, babe ngabantu abadala - kuphela ngumbandela wexesha.
Ewe kunjalo, intetho ngoku ayihambi malunga nezithethe zemilingo kunye nezithethe, nto leyo, ngokoluvo lookhokho, kufanele ukuba zazikho inkwenkwe ukuba ijike inkwenkwe emfazini. Kodwa ngaphandle kwabo akunakwenzeka. Kubalulekile ukukhetha oko kuya kukusebenzela. Enye yeendlela zokuqalisa ezinamandla ziqwalaselwa ... iinwele! Ewe, ewe, uhambo oluqhelekileyo ukuya kumgcini weenwele. Ngaba awuzange uqaphele ukuba i-hairstyle entsha ikunika imvakalelo entsha ngokupheleleyo yakho, inika amathuba amatsha kunye neminqweno? Indlela yokusebenza yale "isiko" ilula: Uxolelwe ngexesha elidlulileyo, uxolelwe wonke umntu wakudala, othe waqulunqa kwaye ungenise kwizenzo ezazingalindelekanga ngaphambili, kwaye ngoku sele ulinde ikamva lakho. Kungenxa yoko le nto kubaluleke kakhulu ukuphulaphula iminqweno yabantwana kunye nolutsha olufuna ukuzama ukuzama ukuvavanywa: ukungabikho kwezinye iindlela zesiko ukuya kwisimo esitsha sokutshintsha komfanekiso - inguqulelo yokusebenza.
Enye into otyholwayo "umlingo", kwaye enyanisweni ufike kakhulu kwaye iyaqondakala indlela yokucocwa ". Khumbula ukuba ooyihlo bethu babulise ekuhlalweni. Apha umntu okhulelwe abantwana aze azale, balungiselela yonke imicimbi ebalulekileyo, nokuba ngumtshato okanye umngcwabo wezihlobo. Unexesha elingakanani ebhafini, kwi-sauna, ewe, ugobile kwigumbi lokuhlambela, kodwa kungabikho mntu ukrokra? Lungiselela olo suku.
Iintlanganiso ezibalulekileyo ngabantu abanengqondo efanayo. Sele etyikitywe i-bachelides inefuthe lonyango ngokwenene. Ukwimeko entle, ecaleni kwabo bakulungele ukunceda kwaye baphulaphule, "hamba umhlaba" kwaye uziva ubuhle bomzuzu - kwaye kubonakala ngathi iindibano zinika amandla kunye nomnqweno wokuphila.
Okokugqibela, kwabo bafuna ukuqalisa kuqala, zindlela ezilungileyo nezingaphezulu kakhulu (ngokuqinisekileyo, zikhumbule ukhuseleko!). Intombi yam yokukhanya ngandlela thile yazama ukuba uBunji -atsiba. Oku kukutsiba ukusuka kubude obuphezulu kwintambo ende yerabha, ukutsiba kwilingelo. I-Svetlana yathi yayiyeyona nto inqwenelekayo kwaye ilungileyo ebomini bakhe. Xa unobungozi yonke imingcipheko, eshiyekileyo yedwa enoloyiko, wakwazi ukuqalisa njengomntu okhulileyo, eshiya ukungakhathali komntwana osemva kwakhe.
Ngapha koko, ayibalulekanga kangako ukuba i-tite yakho yokuqalwa kwayo iya kuba. Amaxesha xa amasiko alawulwa kwaye ekhathalele wonke umntu, kwaye ngoku sinokukhetha oko kusilungele. Itheko langaphambi komtshato? Iikhosi zolutsha? Iholide kwilali ngaphandle kweefowuni kunye neelaptops? Ukuya kwiTibet? Thula okanye ulungise ngezandla zakho? Eyona nto iphambili kukuba indlela oyinyulele ikukhokele ngokwakho - eyomeleleyo, izolile kwaye iyakwazi ukulawula ubomi bakho.
Zincede - Njani?
Makhe siyibone le nxalenye yakho efuna ukhathalelo nothando. Xa sivuma ukuba sinomntu wokukhusela, umntu omdala uyaba makhulu ngakumbi.
Gcina umkhondo wokuba yeyiphi ithoni enxibelelana nayo ... ngokwabo. Khumbula ukuba yintoni nendlela ozithetha ngayo xa kukho ukungaphumeleli. Abasibhozo kwabalishumi kwi-US banikela ingxelo ngokwabo, ngokungathandabuzekiyo kwaye bagxeka. Ungavumeli ukuba isimo sengqondo sizenze (kude kuwe!). Thula kwaye uthambile.
Emva kokuzima, yeka ukuyenza nabanye. Ukukhangela ityala - uphawu lomntu ongacacanga, ozama ukutshintsha inxenye yoxanduva lwayo kwenye. Inyani ihlala iyinyani: Nokuba ufumanisa "ivili", ayizukukunceda ukwazi ukujongana nomsebenzi.
1. Mntwana . Kwizikolo ezahlukeneyo kunye neendlela ezahlukeneyo, ngeendlela ezahlukeneyo, le yinxalenye yakho enoxanduva lokuphupha, umnqweno, uvuye kwaye uyibone. Inxalenye yabantwana ikhokelwa yisenzi "ndiyafuna." Rhoqo yanelisa "uluhlu" lomntwana wangaphakathi.
2. Umzali. Iindidi zabazali ezifumanekayo kuthi zahlukile- zombini ezingqongqo, zigxeka, zilawula ukuqina kweempembelelo zabantwana bethu, kunye nobulumko, ukufumana, ukuxhasa. Isenzi somzali "siyimfuneko."
3. Umntu omdala. Okokugqibela, lowo ulungelelanisayo ngokuthe ngqo ubudlelwane babantwana bethu bangaphakathi nabazali kukudala kwaye ugxininisa, uphonononga amandla kunye nohlalutyo - umntu esikhulileyo ngaphakathi. Isenzi sayo "ndinako": Njengabantu abadala, siyazi kanye le nto bayakwazi, kwaye kungoko kungcono ukwala.