Umbuzo wokuba ujoyine ubudlelwane bezesondo ngaphandle kobudlelwane obugqwesileyo kunye nezibophelelo, uhlala unexhala malunga nokubini zesini. Nangona kunjalo, abafazi kunye namadoda asondela oku kwahlukile. Ke ngoko, ihlala le ndlela yokunxibelelana nento yenkanuko kubameli bomgangatho oncomekayo awusebenzi. Masizame ukubona ukuba yintoni ingxaki?
Okokuqala, ndingathanda ukukhumbula uthotho oludumileyo "kwisini esikhulu". Amaqhawene amane ziindlela ezine ezahlukeneyo ebomini kunye nezesondo. Elinye lamagorha aqaqambileyo nguSamantha, ohlala kumgaqo-siseko we "Akukho mntu ndimfunayo, ndilale, endifuna ngaye." Kuwo onke amaTyaka eTV, ubomi bakhe buboniswa ngokukhanya okuhle kakhulu. Uhlala kwi-coil epheleleyo, eyakha umsebenzi, wafumana kakuhle kwaye unokutsala ebhedini yayo nayiphi na into entle esixekweni. Ibingabonakaliyo, kodwa iphupha. Kodwa ngaba kunokwenzeka?
Ingcali yengqondo I-Alena al-Ase ikholelwa ukuba isondo ngaphandle kokuzibophelela kubomi bomfazi kufanele kubekho ngamaxesha athile kuphela
Nanamhlanje, ngaphandle kwayo yonke loo nto inkululeko yesini, enomntu wonke okhulileyo, uluntu alunakulungelanga ukuvumela amathuba amadoda nabafazi. Ivumele ukuba silawule inqwelomoya, iMibutho yamaHlakani kunye namazwekazi onke kunye nelizwe liphela, kodwa iyaqhubeka nokubeka inkqubo ethile yobudlelwane. Ke ngoko, umfazi olo hlobo lobudlelwane ujongene nobunzima obuthile. Umzekelo, xa isini ngaphandle kokuzibophelela sinika indoda, siyabonwa ngokufuthi kwaye sinokwamkela, bathi, kulungile ukuba indoda ilumkisa ngokungabikho kombono kwangaphambili. Kodwa xa ibhinqa linyanzelisa ngesondo ngaphandle koxanduva, kuvela ngokukhawuleza imibuzo kwakhona: "Ngaba kunokwenzeka?", "Ayiziphathi kakubi?" Ngenyani yokuba iyeza kudala iqinisekisiwe ukuba ukungabinamsebenzi akuyonto iluncedo, kwaye kwiminyaka yeminyaka yeminyaka ihamba kuphela intaba.
Into kukuba loo mabi "ngokuziphatha", "isimilo", "ubunyulu", sisanxulumana nomntu obhinqileyo. Kwakukho iprogram yendabuko eluntwini, apho kumfazi, njengakwi "umgcini wentliziyo", unoxanduva "lokucoceka" kuzo zonke iimvakalelo. Ilandela kule nkqubo ukuba inyaniseke kwaye ithobe, ukuze igcine usapho, yimxelele umntu kwaye umkhathalele. Ngeendlela ezininzi zivela kwi-biology. Umsebenzi wendoda luphuhliso lwemimandla emitsha kunye nokusasazeka kwezinto zabo zemfuza, umsebenzi womfazi-ukudala ukuthuthuzelwa kunye nokuzinza kwinzala yalo. Konke oku kubekwe ngokwemvelo. Abafazi abaninzi abacingi ngesondo ngaphandle kothando kunye nobudlelwane. Rhoqo, ngenxa yokutyhola "ngokwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kokuzibophelela", siyavumelana kuphela ngethemba lokufumana umntu ngobudlelwane nangomtshato. Kwaye ukuba uzinike wazi ukuba sisabelana ngesondo nje, emva kwethutyana, babotshelelwe kwaye bathandana. Obu bunzima bokubamba. Kwenzeka ukuba sisoloko singavumi ukuziva kunye neemfuno eziyinyani.
Ndingacebisa ukuba ndenze izigqibo, ndithembele kwiimvakalelo kunye neminqweno yakho, kwaye hayi kwizimvo zabanye. Ubomi ngowakho. Awukwenzeli nantoni na engekho mthethweni, ngoko ke makhe sikhethe. Ngokwam, ndiyakholelwa ukuba izesondo kunye nobudlelwane ziimfuno ezahlukeneyo, nangona kunjalo, kunjalo, ngenjongo, kufuneka bahambe kunye. Kodwa ngesondo ngaphandle kobudlelwane kunokwenzeka ngendlela efanayo nolwalamano ngaphandle kwesondo (kunqabile, kodwa ifunyenwe).
Ukwabelana ngesondo ngaphandle kobudlelwane kubomi bomfazi kunokubakho, kodwa kuphela ngamanye amaxesha ezithile. Sinokuphikisana kangangoko kunokwenzeka kwisihloko sophuhliso lwempucuko, kodwa ngokwemvelo, njengomthetho, sisoloko sisikhokelela kwindlela enqwenelekayo. Eyona nto iphambili kukumamela. Ndifuna nje ukugxininisa: Akufanelanga ukunikezela kuphela ngenxa yokoyika ukuba umntu uza kukugweba. Zenze isigqibo ngokwakho, kulungile kuwe. Ndonwabile.