Eli binzana, ngokucacileyo nangokukhutshelwe kakhulu, nina bazeka abafazi. Uninzi lweentombi esikolweni, eyunivesithi noogxa bakho emsebenzini kweli xesha sele zibanjwe yintsapho, abantwana. Iifoto zeqela lomtshato, inkosikazi encinci eyonwabileyo, amanyathelo okuqala abantwana akazange abeke iewebhusayithi zentlalo kuphela elivila kuphela okanye umfazi ogxothiweyo.
Kwaye makwenze izinto ezitsha ezitsha ezithi ngo-30 konke kuqala, bathi eli xesha kukwakha umsebenzi, ukuzibandakanya kubo, ukonwaba, yonke into iphezu komphefumlo. Abasetyhini abazelwe ngo-1980 bangena kwinkcubeko eyahlukileyo ngokupheleleyo. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, ekungekho mthombo wamajelo osebenzayo, kukho imidlalo kwintombazana kamama, kunye nemibono emininzi yesihloko "santa barbara". Amantombazana aloo maxesha azi kakuhle ukuba ayayiqonda imilinganiselo yosapho ngaphezu kwabanye.
Ukufikelela kwiminyaka engama-30 yedwa, i-alamu yabafazi abanjalo ifikelela kwiiphezulu eziphakamileyo. I-Psychology ibiza la mava "ye-neurosis yentlalo." Oko kukuthi, umfazi usengqondo ngokwengqondo akanakulunga ekudaleni ubudlelwane, usapho kunye nokuzalwa kwabantwana, kodwa isakhelo soluntu esigxile ekungagqibekanga, bamxelela ukuba into engaqhelekanga.
Uloyiko lokuba 'luhlobo' olunesiphene 'lukhathalele ukusombulula lo mbandela nangayiphi na indleko. Ihlala isebenza njengenkonzo embi. Ngomsindo onyukayo, ibhinqa liza kulwalamano ngenxa yokuba kufanelekile ukuba "ubeke uphawu" lokuba ulungile. Inzame nganye engaphumelelanga iba yi-fiasco ebuhlungu, ngenxa yoko ukuqiniseka kuyakhula ngakumbi ukuba "kukho into engalunganga kum", nayo yonke into intsha. Ke isangqa savalwa.
Endaweni yokukhula ngokwenene kwaye ilungiselele ubomi bosapho, abafazi baphazanyiswa kukungqina ukuba baqhelekile. Ubungqina obu buhlala bubhekiswa koomama okanye kootata, ngamanye amaxesha - amaqabane athile, iintsapho eziphelileyo. Nangona kunjalo, ezi nzame azithwali luxolo nokulungela ubomi bosapho. Kwezi nzame, umfazi uba nzulu ngakumbi, elumkele, edandathekile. Akukho ubudlelwane obunempilo apha.
Rhoqo ukungabikho kwendlela eqinileyo ngohlobo lwentsebenziswano yosapho kufanelekile ngomsebenzi ophumelelayo kunye nobuchule bezezimali. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, akunakwenzeka ukuba uzive ulahlekile kuyo yonke indawo. Ke ngoko, unokuhlala dibana nebhinqa eliselula elinomsebenzi omangalisayo, ivolomoya kunye namabhongo, kodwa ngokungakwazi konke ukwakha ubudlelwane bakho.
Ungayichaza njani "i-neurosis yentlalo" kwesi sihloko? Ewe, ilula kakhulu:
-Ukuba uqengqeleka ngengcinga yokuba sele unayo iminyaka emininzi, kwaye akukho zintsapho nabantwana;
-Ukuba uxinekile ngomsebenzi ophumelelayo kumatheko kunye nokuphumelela kwaye udibana kwaye uthandaze ubomi bakho buqu buza kubuzwa;
-Ukuba ufunda ngokufihlakeleyo kwi-ofisi yokuchumisa;
-Ukuba ukhathazekile, ukumamela abahlobo bakho baxoxe kubayeni bakho okanye abantwana, emva koko sele kwenzekile kuwe (ngoku sele ku-25, masithi);
-Ukuba ukwenziwa ngokuqinileyo ixhala kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba lokuba inkosana yakho ingenzi kwaye ayifiki, unokubeka ngokukhuselekileyo esi sifo silula.
Kodwa inqaku alinakukwazi ukunikela ingqalelo kwiincoko kunye nokuhleba kwendalo esingqongileyo. Nokuba uzifundisa ukungazihoyi iziqhulo ngomtshato, ke kwabasetyhini abajolise kwiinqobo zentsapho, ukucaphukisa kunye noxinzelelo akuyi kuya ndawo. Ngamanye amagama, ndifuna ukudala usapho, kodwa kwesi sihlokoloko kukho ubunzima obuninzi kakhulu, iintlungu kunye nokuphelelwa lithemba, ekulula ukunikela ingqalelo kuyo kwaye ukungachukumisi inxeba kwakhona.
Uninzi lwabantu basetyhini ababhenele kwesi sibhengezo kulwimi lwengqondo kunye nonyango, bafumanisa ngenxa yomsebenzi ongumxholo wosapho kunye nobudlelwane "obugqityiweyo". Iqokelele intlungu eninzi, yoyika, ingqumbo. Njengomthetho, wenziwa kwiintsapho ezikwiintsapho eziqhelekileyo apho kwaba bafazi bakhula. Ukujonga abazali bakho, bafikelela kwisigqibo sokuba kulunge ngakumbi kunoko. Okanye ukuba ayiyi kusebenza, kwaye akukho mntu uza kundibeka endaweni yam uthando lwentsapho yam.
Inyathelo ngenyathelo, ukutyhila imisonto yexesha elidlulileyo nelikhoyo, ukufumana isikhundla esiqolileyo, inani elikhulu labafazi abasadibana neqela elifanelekileyo kwaye beze neentsapho, bazalelwe abantwana. Ngakumbi kuba basazibeka esichengeni sokuvuma ukuba bafuna inkxaso ukusombulula lo mbandela ungxamisekileyo.
Ngeli xesha ...
Phesheya, ayisiyonto yesiko ukubabala umntu obhinqileyo ukuya kuthi ga kwiminyaka engama-30. Kukho intembelo yokuba emva njengama-30 kuphela ixesha eliqala xa indoda nomfazi kufuneka bacinge ngokudala usapho, kwaye ingcinga enemiqathango "igqityiwe kwiminyaka engama-40. Kwaye ubungqina bale nto buninzi phakathi kweenkwenkwezi zeHollywood. Umzekelo, umlinganiso odumileyo penelope Cruz utshatele i-Actor yeSpanish eneminyaka engama-41 ubudala iJavier kwiminyaka engama-36 ubudala, i-Edardo Dinded You Carprio kwiminyaka yakhe engama-33 ayikaze itshatile. Chasile i-Theron - iminyaka engama-38, akazange atshate, kodwa ngoku umosigi ubonakala uzama kwindima yomtshakazi: Ngokweengxelo zosasazo, inkanyezi sele ilungiselela umtshato ngeSean Penn. I-Colombie Mulber Shakira yafumana ukonwaba kwakhe kuphela kwiminyaka engama-33 ubudala - ngokuchanekileyo kule minyaka le i-Gerard yaqalisa ukudibana nonyana wakhe. Kuyinyani, esi sibini asikayi kona ubuhlobo bayo - uShakira ukholelwa ukuba isitampu kwipasipoti ayinamsebenzi.
UMaria Zmvuskova, ugqirha wengqondo, ugqirha wonyango losapho kunye noqeqesho olukhokelayo kwiZiko loQeqesho loQeqesho loQeqeshe leMarika Khazina