Kubonakala ngathi izolo kuphela ufunda iincwadi kunye, bafumana i-crafti ye-kindergarten kwaye baphinde baphinde benza imibongo kwi-matinee yonyaka omtsha. Kwaye namhlanje, intombi yakho iphumelele esikolweni, yangena kwiZiko kwaye ifumene umsebenzi wesingxungxo. Ngaba lixesha lokuba umyeke angene ekuqulunweni simahla? Kwaye ungawuqonda njani umzuzu xa ixesha lenkohliso lixesha lokuqalisa ukuhlala ngokwahlukeneyo? UAlina Delisse wabelana ngeengcinga zakhe ngale ngxaki kunye neendlela zesigqibo sayo.
Kutheni umntwana engafuni ukuhamba?
Rhoqo, ungayiva indlela imodeli yolwalamano phakathi kwabazali kunye nabantwana eNtshona zikhokelela ekubeni kube ngumzekelo oneminyaka eli-18 ubudala, umntwana uthathwa njengabadala kwaye kufuneka aphile ngokwahlukileyo. Ihlala yonwabile ukuyibona kwimibhiyozo yosapho kwaye ngeempelaveki, abazali abayeki ukuthanda, umntwana utshintsha indawo engahlali, uqala ukuze akhe ubomi bakhe kwaye enze izigqibo. Kodwa ubuhlobo bethu baseRussia bahlukile phesheya. Kwenzeka oko kangangokuba iminyaka yokuphila nabazali, ukufika kwiminyaka eqolileyo kwaye nokuba senze olona ntsapho ilungileyo. Ayisiyo indima yokugqibela koku idlalwa ziindleko eziphezulu zezindlu, nokuba kukuthenga okanye ukuqeshisa. Kananjalo, ingcali yobutsha esafundayo, okanye iphumelele kuphela kwiZiko, kunzima ukufunyanwa kwangoko ngomvuzo ophezulu. Kodwa indlela yokuba kwimeko, ukuba umntu okwishumi elivisayo unethamsanqa kwaye uzuza ngokwaneleyo, kwaye ke, unako ukuphila ngokwahlukileyo, kodwa kuyo yonke indlela itsala le ndlu yabazali? Khaqoqonda ukuba kutheni abantwana bengafuni ukuhamba phantsi kwephiko likaPope kunye nooms balula kakhulu: Bathanda nje ukuhlala ekhaya. Ngakumbi ukuba usapho lunobudlelwane obufudumeleyo, wonke umntu ungomnye nothando nentlonipho. "Kutheni le nto zonke ezi zinto?" - Cinga okwishumi elivisayo.
Ewe, kwaye abazali bahlala bengangxami ukuba bayeke umntwana emdala. Ukususela ebuntwaneni, bakha umntwana ngokuxhomekeka ngokupheleleyo kwizisombululo zabo. Abantwana ababekeni izakhono zokuzimela kunye nokuzilungiselela ekhaya. Abanayo imisebenzi ejikeleze indlu, abathathi nxaxheba ekwenzeni izigqibo, kodwa bonwabele kuphela zonke izibonelelo abanika abazali. Ngapha koko, abanye oomama nootata abanothando kunye nootata bamaxesha ngamaxesha baphoswa kwipokotho yabantwana abadala kwimali "kuzonwabisa". Ngaba iyazibuza ukuba umntwana okwishumi elivisayo akakhawulezi ukuvala ucango emva kwakhe?
Umbhali, ugqirha wezengqondo uAlina Dissis
Iinkonzo zonxibelelwano
Yafumana nini ixesha?
Ke leliphi ixesha elifanelekileyo lokuqalisa? UAlina Delisse ukholelwa ukuba kumntwana ngamnye ofikisayo ngeli xesha uyeza ngexesha lakhe. "Nditsho neengcali zengqondo ezidumileyo zehlabathi azinakuza kwimbono eqhelekileyo. Kuyimfuneko ukusombulula lo mbandela kunye, abazali nomntwana. Ukuba unyana okanye intombi ayikwazi ukuthatha isigqibo, thatha isisombululo esiqolileyo, ungangxami. Endaweni yoko, nceda udlule la mava ngelahleko encinci, kuba ngamandla akho ukudala yonke imiqathango yoku: ukulawula ukhetho lwengqondo, isixa sendawo yokuhlala, njalo njalo. Kwaye ungayigxeki imeko, musa ukoyikisa umntwana 'nge "Strashilki" malunga nokuba mdala. UAlina uthi: "Qonda ukuba imfuneko yenkululeko yelinye lamanqanaba ophuhliso oluqhelekileyo lomntu," utshilo uAlina.
Musa ukoyika ukuxoxa ngekamva kunye neti yakho.
Iqala njani imfundo yenkululeko? Emva kokufunyanwa komntwana, iZiko leMfundo eliPhakamileyo aliyi kuba ngamaxabiso aphambili ukuba baxoxe kunye nezicwangciso zakhe. Yintoni ebona ubomi bakhe obungakumbi? Izicwangciso zokugxila ngokupheleleyo ekufundeni okanye ziya kukhangela umsebenzi wesingxungxo kwiklasi yeklasi? Ngaba ifuna uncedo lwemali kwaye yeyiphi ivolumu? Ukuba akangeni eyunivesithi, kuya kwenzeka ntoni?
"Vumelani, mingakanani imizamo yokuba" uziphumezile "zilungele ukubonelela nokuhlawula umntwana okwishumi elivisayo. Kwaye iya kuba yintoni kanye kanye? Imfundo ehlawulelwayo, izifundo kunye nomhlohli okanye iikhosi zethutyana? -Cebisa umbhali. -Ukuba umntwana akafuni kufunda, lingakanani ixesha olilungeleyo ukuba liqulathe? Ngaba umntwana okwishumi elivisayo uza kuqala nini efuna umsebenzi? Leliphi inani lezinto ezibonakalayo elifunekayo okokuqala? Kwaye uya kuba negalelo nini kuhlahlo-lwabiwo mali losapho? Konke oku kubaluleke kakhulu, uNyana okanye intombi yakhe kufuneka ibe nemvakalelo enganyangekiyo yokuba, ngaphandle kothando nokhathalelo lwakho, kuya kufuneka aqale ukwenza izigqibo, kwaye ebaluleke kakhulu, aze abe phambi kooxanduva.