Ndiyacinga, ukuba ubuza umbuzo kumadoda, izinto zezinto zonke zobuqhetseba zisebenzisa umntu obhinqileyo, iimpendulo zinokuba lukhulu. Kwaye eyona ithandwayo iya kuba "yinyosi."
Kodwa ukuba umbuzo ofanayo kukubuza abafazi, ke baninzi abaya kuphuma ngokombono ukuba le yingqumbo.
Abasetyhini baphumelele ngokungenabugcisa. Kunzima ukuba nengqumbo yabasetyhini ukumelana, ngakumbi xa le mvakalelo ibonisa ngokuqaqambileyo, ngeenyembezi.
Ndiyazibuza ukuba kutheni le nto yenzekile?
Ingqumbo, le yimvakalelo yokuba sifunda ngokukhawuleza. Umzekelo omkhulu wokucaphuka komntwana ubuso kunye nembeko yekanina, ootatomkhulu, ngokubanzi. Unyango oluzinzileyo lwamabango lubanga ukuba ukuthuka kunomsindo kuye. Oko kukuthi, umntwana unomsindo kwi intanda yakhe, kodwa kuyingozi ukubonisa oku imvakalelo, kuba oluchanekileyo kakhulu iya kuguqulelwa ukuthuka wakhe, abakhokeli, kufutshane uyikhuphe.
Unyango lwe-Gestalt lubanga ukuba ukuthuka ngumsindo, kukumiswa luthando. Ukuba asisoloko sizinqanda esidlangalaleni, kodwa kuphela kwiimeko apho usoyika ukuba abantu abasondeleyo nabathandekayo ekuphenduleni isibongozo somsindo baya kusiphulaphule.
Ukuba kunjalo, ingqumbo yenye yezona mvakalelo zidumileyo malunga nokuba uninzi lwabantu alunazi malunga nokuthetha, kwaye abanye babonisa. Kwinkcubeko yethu, abafazi banokukhubeka, kwaye amadoda anomsindo. Umsindo unxulunyaniswa nomsebenzi, ukupholisa intsimi yayo, kodwa ingqumbo yindawo edlulayo. Abafazi bavalelwa ngokwabo, becwangcisa incokooma ye-caustic nabantu babo aboni, bayapheliswa kunxibelelwano.
Kwaye kwinkcubeko yethu kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba uziphathe ngokungathi ungakhubeki. Ngakumbi abafazi ababalulekileyo: Mama, umfazi.
Utyekelo lwaBasetyhini lukhube, kwaye inkcubeko yenkcubeko-yokuziphatha ngendlela yokungakhubekisi mntu, yenza ukomeleza ngakumbi imvakalelo yokuhenda.
Ukuba siyakhutyekiswa, uninzi lwabo abangqongileyo luya kuziva ndinetyala ngezenzo okanye amagama abo. Ngapha koko, akunakwenzeka ukukhubeka! Ke ngoko, abafazi abaninzi basebenzisa isono njengesixhobo sabo siphambili ekunxibelelaneni neqabane labo. Ukuhlangula ityala lakho, indoda inokuqalisa ukwenza into efunwa ngumfazi, ukubonisa isimo sengqondo esikhethekileyo kuye, sinike izipho, siphucule ixesha lencoko naye. Enyanisweni sisixhobo esomeleleyo!
Nangona kunjalo, abathandi banokukhutyekiswa nokutsho ukuba akuyomfuneko ukuba ube nemihlali kunene kwinkcubeko edalwe. Ingqumbo yimvakalelo yokuba ngenxa yokuba senza ukuba senze impazamo malunga nendlela omnye umntu ekufuneka uziphethe ngayo. Ukuba ukulindelwa kwethu kungavumelani nenyani, kunye nendlela omnye umntu aphendula ngayo aze aziphethe ngayo, ke sisabela ngayo kwisikhubekiso. Ngamanye amagama, ukuthuka yimvakalelo ebonisa ngathi ngumahluko wokuqonda kwethu kunye nenyani. Endaweni yokufumanisa omnye umntu ngenene, siyamqhuba ngenkqubo yolindelo lwabo kwaye silwe noncedo lokuthuka, ukuze omnye ayeke ukuba liligorha lakhe. Ewe, leliphi ilizwe eliqolileyo eliya kuvuma kule nto?
Ke ngoko, abathandi banokuchazwa ukuba bathetha oku kulandelayo.
Ukuthuka, kwelinye icala, yimvakalelo, kunye nezinye iimvakalelo ezininzi zamava ethu. Ayinamsebenzi ukulwa naye. Ingqumbo iphakamisa ngokuzenzekelayo njengempendulo kulindelo olungafezekanga.
Sukuqaphela ukona kwakho! Kodwa kunokwenzeka ukuba uphonononge ukuba loluphi ulindelo lwethu olungekho ngqiqweni ukuba omnye umntu asikhale.
UMaria Dyachkova, ugqirha wezengqondo, ugqirha wosapho kunye noqeqesho olukhokelayo kwiZiko loQeqsho loQhulelo loQeqesho lweMarika Khazin