Kutshanje, ndifumana iileta zabafundi ndicela isicelo sokucacisa ukutyhilwa kwamaphupha malunga nabathandi basemva koko okanye amadoda. Ubudlelwane baphela, ngamanye amaxesha ukuya kwiminyaka eyadlulayo, kwaye imiphumo ihleli.
Amaphupha ethu azama ukujamelana nezi ziphumo, nangona uninzi lwezihloko zamabhinqa lindibuza ukuba ukuba umntu osisithandi sakhe sokuphupha, mhlawumbi kuthetha ukuba ndisayithanda?
Akunjalo. Iphupha lethu yindlela eya kumava esimanyeneyo, siqhagamshelwe. Xa ubudlelwane busiphelo, inyani yokutshada iphazamisekile kuthi ukuba ngoku kufuneka sizithwale la mava kuphela. Ngoncedo lwamaphupha, sinceda thina "dop", sisasaze amandla kunye nezixhobo ngendlela entsha.
Umzekelo, nantsi ileta evela kumfazi obhalela ngenoveli, esele iphelile, kodwa imiphumo yayisaqhubeka nayo, yasala.
"Andigqibanga ukuba nditsho ixesha elide ukuba yonke into iphelile phakathi kwethu ukuba siphuhliswe. Yayiyilungele kwaye yahlala, nokuba bendicinga ngokuthembekileyo. Kodwa ngenye imini ndalibazisa. Iintsuku ezimbalwa eziguqula ubomi bam! Ngokucacileyo ndaye ndabona ukuba andifuni ukuba abantwana banabo, kuba abantwana baya kuqhagamshelana nathi ngonaphakade. Ixhala lavela lokuba lilo, andizange ndikhulelwe, kodwa ndenzakalisiwe yinyaniso yokuba ezi ntsuku zimbalwa andifuni umntwana. Mna! Ndihlala abantwana kwaye ndihlala ndifuna eyam. Kwaye ngequbuliso ndabona ukuba andifuni nokuzinxibelelanisa nale ndoda. Sahlukana, kabukhali, sikrokrela, andizange ndizisole. Kwaye emva kweminyaka emininzi, ndiphupha amaphupha endiza kuncinwa, endiza kuzala kuye umntwana. Kwaye nditsho kumyeni wam, ndithetha ngokukhululeka. Ephupheni, umfanekiso wesithandi sam sangaphambili uyaPhakamisa. Kwaye ngesizathu esithile ndifudumele kakhulu, nangona ebomini bam andizange ndicinge ngayo iminyaka eliqela, phambi kokuba ndikhunjulwe, kwaye ndimnyama nje, ndibumnyama bobomi bam. "
Mhlawumbi, iphupha libonisa ukuba usazama ukujamelana nomcimbi onzima kuye. Ngenxa yetyala lokulibaziseka, wafumanisa ukuba inzonzobila iphakathi kwabo, ukunqongophala kwamathemba okwakhiwa abenzele ubudlelwane kunye nabo ngelo xesha. Kwaye ngaloo mzuzu ubuqhophololo bakhe bawa ngaye, ngaye, malunga nokuba banokwenzeka, malunga nekamva. Kwaye ngokungathi uzama ukuthi ebuthongweni bakhe, ukuba yonke into yenze injalo, ngoku yonke into ifanele ukuba ibe: Usapho, abantwana. Ke ngoku, xa yonke into ilungile, inokujonga ngobushushu kwixesha lakhe elidlulileyo. Ngoku akoyiki ngekamva, kodwa uzinzile. Kwaye xa kwaba yinyandeka ngakumbi, inokufikela ukuba uyikhumbule loo micimbi yokuthambisa, ukuqonda, nokuba buhlungu kakhulu, ngoncedo oluya kuba luqhubeka lube nolwalamano lwendalo nolukholweni. Ewe, iimvavanyo ezinjalo zikwimpilo yomntu wonke. Kwaye olona xesha libuhlungu ngamanye amaxesha lube lolona shivel ngekamva ukuba bayayenza.
Okanye nanku umzekelo. Eli bhinqa alizange lidlule kulo uqhawulo mtshato lubuhlungu. Phantse nakuphi na uqhawulo-mtshato, yayihamba nenani elikhulu leemfihlo ezahlukeneyo, inyaniso ebuhlungu, ekugqibeleni yatsho enye kwenye, izigqibo ezininzi ezithathiweyo, ukwakha ubomi bepropathi kunye nokwakha ubomi obahlukileyo komnye nomnye.
Kwaye iphupha lakhe li: "Ndizikhethela indlu ethembekileyo. Ndijonge indawo yokuhlala kwindlu ekhethekileyo, eyakhohlisayo. Ndiza kubhiyozela ukhetho olungathembekanga kunye nolindileyo. Ndijonge kuphela ukuba yintoni ethembekileyo kwaye ixesha elide. Ndifumanise, ndiyacebisa, ireferensi. Amagumbi, apho abamelwane batshintsha rhoqo kwiminyaka emi-4, musa ukubandingandi. Ndibukele izindlu ngononophelo kwaye ixesha elide.
Eli phupha lingaphandle kwe-metapyors elinzima libonisa ukuba iphupha likhangela indlela yokwenza isiseko esomeleleyo. Mhlawumbi i-4 inambatho 4 idlala ixabiso. Mhlawumbi kakhulu wayetshatile, kwaye eli nani ayisiyondawo ngokusesikweni imanyano, kodwa ngexesha apho imanyano yayiyixhasa ngokwenene.
Ephupheni, ukhangela kwaye kudala isiseko esithembekileyo, kungengenxa yomnye umntu, kodwa sakha inkxaso kuye.
Ndiyazibuza ukuba uphupha ntoni? Imizekelo yamaphupha akho ethunyelwa ngeposi: [email protected]. Ngendlela, amaphupha kulula kakhulu ukuveza ukuba kwileta eya kumhleli uya kubhala iimeko ezingaphambili zobomi, kodwa okona kubaluleke kakhulu - iimvakalelo kunye neengcinga zelixesha lokuvuka kweli phupha.
UMaria Dyachkova, ugqirha wezengqondo, ugqirha wosapho kunye noqeqesho olukhokelayo kwiZiko loQeqsho loQhulelo loQeqesho lweMarika Khazin