Ndifuna umntwana, kodwa ndiyoyika. " La magama kufuneka ave rhoqo kunokuba ndingathanda. Kwaye bathetha abafazi babo malunga neminyaka engama-30, baphumelele kwaye bengaguquguquki. Ingabonakala ngathi ziphi na iinjongo ezinxulumene "nento" okanye "ibe" ngumntu "egxalabeni. Umsebenzi, amagumbi, oomatshini, ukuhamba kunye neminyhadala, abahlobo, izinto zokuzonwabisa- ngokulula! Kodwa abantwana - hayi! Iyothusa ukuba ibuyekelele ubomi obuphila, kwaye uyitshintshele kwi-therives engacacanga kwiidayari, iidayithi, ezihamba kwiipaki ezinenqwelwana kunye nomntwana ukukhwaza kuyo.
Kodwa oku akwenzeki wonke umntu, abantwana abavela kakhulu basazalwa, nangona besona noloyiko.
Ke yintoni into? Ipheka njani into yokuba intombazana encinci yentombazana encinci inoyike ngaxeshanye ukuba ngumama kwaye ungaze ube?
I-paradox kukuba ukulungela ukuba ngumama kuxhomekeke kwizinto ezininzi, kwaye rhoqo ukulungela umhlaba okhulelweyo kamva.
I-phenomenon enjalo ibizwa ngokuba yi "neurosis yentlalo". Ngokweminyaka yobudala kunye nenqanaba lentlalontle, kwiminyaka engama-30, kuyimfuneko ukufuna ukuba nabantwana okanye sele ube ngumama omnye umntu. Umnqweno wokuba ngokuhlelele umfazi ukuze aqiniseke ukuba umntwana ulungile kwaye umhle, nangona enyanisweni ayoyika abantwana! Okanye, ziziphi izixhobo zobomi ezipholileyo eziza kufuneka zibe ngumama. Ekuqhubekeni kwemvume yoMbutho, ibhinqa lizabalazela ukungena "iqhelekileyo", elifihlayo kwaye lityhalela uloyiko lwabo lokukhulelwa.
Ukongeza kwizimvo zesidlangalaleni kwiminyaka eqhelekileyo yokuba umama, kukho uloyiko lokukhulelwa okanye ukuzalwa. Ngeendlela ezininzi, kuchaziwe ngamava obuqu okunxulunyaniswa nabantwana. Njenga rhoqo, kubalulekile ukuva ngokukhupha isisu esimele senziwe kulutsha xa kwakungekho mntu, onokuthi aqiniseke ngayo malunga nokuthathwa kwesigqibo. Xa iminyaka, umnqweno wokuba ngumama, kodwa amava okugqibela anikela ukuthanda kwakhe. Ngokuqinisekileyo "kwindawo enye 'umntu ovumayo kuye:" Ndifuna umntwana, kodwa ndiyoyika. "Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukukhulelwa kuya kuzisa ityala lakhe kunye neentloni, rhoqo Amava agcinwa eyimfihlo evela kubathandekayo.
Ukoyikwa kokuzalwa komntwana, ngokutsho kweenyanga zoosapho kunye neengcali zengqondo, zitshintshelwa lifa. Lawo onke amava eentlungu, ukubandezeleka okuqokelelwe kwicandelo lentsapho engazi nto iboniswe kwiminqweno yabafazi bale mihla malunga nokuzalwa kwabantwana: Kwizikhalazo ezibuhlungu, imiphumo engoyiki yokuzala umntwana. Kwaye ngaphandle kwento yokuba ngoku malunga nomama wezempilo kunye nomntwana wexesha elizayo, amava onke amayeza, kunye namachiza angabalusi, kunye nolwalamano olupheleleyo loluntu, ukubakho kobomi, ngaphandle kokuba wonke umntu abe woyika abafazi kwezinye iimvakalelo ezingenangqondo zikhulelwe.
Ixhaphake "kodwa" ngobukho bobuzali- "umyeni akafuni." Kwiofisi yengqondo, kuyavela ukuba boyike bobabini. Umntwana ukwangumva lovavanyo ngabo bonke abakho kwimipu. Kwaye kaninzi, ukuze bangagungqi, kodwa ibhalansi ye-shaky, isibini siyala ukuzalwa kwabantwana kumaxesha angangcono. Ukanti hayi abantu abatshatileyo, ukuzalwa komntwana kuthetha ukunxibelelana kwabo njengamadoda nabafazi ebomini, ubuncinci kwindima yabazali. Kwaye eli linyathelo elingenathembaka kakhulu, kuba ke linokufunyanwa ukuba bobabini baya kuphulukana nentlanganiso kunye neqabane elifanelekileyo ngakumbi. Okanye ukuzalwa komntwana kuya kwenza isiphithiphithi kwiLizwe eliSokisiweyo leHlabathi linamathele enamandla omnye komnye. Mhlawumbi nje ukuba oku kusondelana nemfuno kwaye kuyafuneka, kodwa kwisibini esonakalisayo kangangokuba zonke izoyikiso kufuneka zigcinwe kumgama, kubandakanya ukuzalwa komntwana. Uza kucinga ngayo, mhlawumbi uyenzele isibini kunye nendoda nomyeni nenkosikazi bahle kakhulu, nokuba akukho nto ingenakuthelekiswa nanto ukwakha ubudlelwane kunye nomnye wabo Qaphela yonke into. Indawo yesithathu ayinikwanga konke konke, esi sibini sikhusela i-serka yabo. Umntwana kule meko ngumhlaseli. Kwaye ukuzalwa kwakhe kuya kuthiwa ngokungazi, nokuba isibini simele ukumfuna. Kwaye kuvavanyo lokukhulelwa, kuphela umtya omnye kuphela uya kukhanya.
Kwaye le yinxalenye yamava amava ahambelana nomzali-obabusapho notata wobabalo, olunokuba lude malunga. Kwaye kwincoko yethiyori ngokwakho, iimpendulo azifumaneki. Kodwa ukufumana umbono ongaqhelekanga, onokuthi ujonge phantsi kwakho kunye nesimo sakho sengqondo kwisihloko esingenakuphepheka, njengokhetho, nokuba ungumzali ...
UMaria Dyachkova, ugqirha wezengqondo, ugqirha wosapho kunye noqeqesho olukhokelayo kwiZiko loQeqsho loQhulelo loQeqesho lweMarika Khazin