Kuluntu lwanamhlanje, zininzi iindlela zokunceda umntu obhinqileyo ukuba akhulelwe kwaye abe ngumama: ulwazi, ezonyango, ezengqondo kunye nabanye.
Ewe, kwaye ufakelo loluntu luqala ukusebenza kwinkxaso yabasetyhini. Kwiibhodi zeebhodi kunye neeposta, ukuba ngoku unyaka wosapho, ubuntwana, ekuqinisekiseni ukuba ivele entlokweni kangangokuba umfazi okokuqala.
Nangona kunjalo, akukho tyala iimeko xa ukhulelwe akunakwenzeka. Ukuba umntu obhinqileyo wenza yonke into ukuba abe ngumama, emva koko, iindlela zonyango ezahlukeneyo, amaziko okuvelisa kwakhona, uphando malunga nokukwazi ukukhulelwa kunye nokusebenzisa isixhobo. Ukuthandwa kukufumana amaziko e-EOC.
Kwaye kunye nemimangaliso yonyango lwale mihla, isiganeko esilindelwe ixesha elide asinakufika. Kwaye ukuba yenzekile, ngokukhawuleza kwaye iphele kabuhlungu.
Asiyi kuthobela kwimiba yezonyango, kuba ufunda eli nqaku ndingayibhali njengamayeza.
Makhe siqwalasele iindlela ezininzi zokhetho lwezizathu ezinzulu ezikunzima kuzo umama. Kwaye abancinci abafazi bazi ngabo, abomeleleyo bazama ukujamelana nengxaki kuphela, kokukhona i-dood imizamo yabo.
I-neurosis yokuqala, i-neurosis. Oku kuthelekiswa ngokwakho ngendalo esingqongileyo. Oku ku- "ukunceda" inethiwekhi zentlalo. Bonke abantu abafunda nabo sele bemnye, okanye nabantwana ababini, kwaye umntu usenokungakuqondi nokuba umama ovela ngaphakathi. Elo bhinqa elinjalo lijolise kumbono woluntu, kuba emehlweni "esidlangalaleni" lizama ukuba "ngolungelelwano." Uzama ukuba nomntwana, akanamdla kule, kodwa endaweni yoko, ngenxa yokhenkotha. "I-30-32-33-35-35-35 Kudala sele ilixesha. Kodwa umzimba wakhe ulumkile kwaye unyanisekile ekuqinisekeni kwakhe ukuba kubalulekile ukuba ube ngumama ngoku, kuba ayinagalelo ekukhulelweni kwanombono wonyango. Ukulungela ukuba ngutata kuvuthwa, njengoko kamva emzimbeni kuya kuthoba umntwana. Kwaye indlela emnandi yona yandulela lo msebenzi xa le ntokazi idlula amanqanaba athile: Ukulwa ngokwakho abafazi, inzondelelo kunye nomsebenzi kunye nokuvuma ukunikezela kwaye uqhubeke nobudlelwane ebantwaneni. Ngale ndlela ngumntu, ngenxa yoko akunakwenzeka ukuba ithethe ngeminyaka engama-30 umfazi ngamnye makadlule. Okokuqala, kuxhomekeka kumfazi othile, imbali ethile, ikamva lakhe, ubuchule bokuziqonda ngokwabo kunye nomsebenzi wabo wasetyhini.
Okwesibini, ukuthembeka. Le yenye yeemfuno ezisisiseko zabantu ngokubanzi, kwaye nangakumbi amabhinqa alungiselela ukufihla. Kwimisebenzi yam, bekukho iimeko xa abantu basetyhini beza kuthetha ngento "yokwenza nam ukuba ningumama," kwaye ngenxa yoko, kwavela ukuba baphile namadoda angakwaziyo ukuthemba. Umzimba wabo watyhekwa ngu-Adrenaline, kuba abayeni babo basela, babetha, baguquke okanye baphile ngokuthenga kwabafazi babo. Imeko ibonwa ngokwemvethi ngumfazi ongakhuselekanga kwinzala, kwaye ke ukhule. Amaxesha amaninzi abo bafazi abo bathethelela amadoda abo, kodwa indalo yabafazi abalumkileyo kuthi inzima ukukhohlisa. Imvelaphi yeHormonial ekhuthaza ukuba inguqulwe emzimbeni xa umfazi wanelisekile, ukhuselwe kwaye wanelisekile yindlela ekhathalela ngayo iqabane lakhe. Ewe kunjalo, zininzi iimeko ngokuchasene nale ngxelo xa ukukhulelwa kuza ngokuchaseneyo nayo. Nangona kunjalo, sithetha ngezizathu eziqhelekileyo, kutheni usemzini umntwana olindelekileyo awusebenzi.
Okwesithathu, iimeko zentsapho kunye nempembelelo yelifa labasetyhini. Kuya kubonakala ngathi indlela yokundichaphazela ngayo indlela amabhinqa ahlala ngayo kwaye azala abantwana izizukulwana ezidlulileyo? Kwaye apha zizinto zabo ezonwabileyo okanye ngelishwa? Nangona kunjalo, zininzi izifundo ezibonisa ukuba libali leqela lethu lebhinqa lisichaphazela.
Olona nyango ludumileyo u-Anselylin Schiphisberberberger kwiSifundo sakhe "
Umzekelo, ukusweleka komntwana okanye umama ngokuzalwa komntwana, ilahleko ebuhlungu kunye nokuhlukana nabantwana, amaxesha aphindwe kabini kwiintombi zabo bakwaziyo oku. Kunzima ukuphendula lo mbuzo: "Inzeka njani le nto?" okanye "Kutheni?". Kukho kuphela izibalo ezinobunzima bokukhulelwa zinokuba yimeko efana ne-generic.
Okanye ngokuchaseneyo, "ubomi bonke babantwana" yincwadi yentsapho. Kwaye izizukulwane ezininzi ubomi babazali zaphela kwaza kwavela abantwana. Bayeka ukuzihlala ngokwabo, unxibelelwano lwalulahlekile phakathi kwamaqabane, wonke umntu wabingelelwa ngumntwana okhulayo. Rhoqo uva kubafazi abakhule kwiintsapho ezithi "umntwana sisiphelo sobomi bam ndiyamthanda." Kwaye nangayo yonke imizamo yokukhulelwa, ukukhulelwa akuveli, kuba umfazi utsala ukuqala kwesi "isiphelo."
Ngokubanzi, isihloko sibanzi kangangokuba akunakwenzeka ukuba sibhale inqaku, kodwa iphicotho lokwenyani kuphononongo lwezizathu zengqondo zobunzima. Qiniseka ukuba uyaqhubeka nokuthetha ngayo, kunjalo?
UMaria Dyachkova, ugqirha wezengqondo, ugqirha wosapho kunye noqeqesho olukhokelayo kwiZiko loQeqsho loQhulelo loQeqesho lweMarika Khazin