Iingcali zengqondo zihlala zijamelene nezikhalazo zabazali malunga nento yokuba unyana wabo omkhulu okanye intombi yakhe isakwazi kuthatha uxanduva: Iyaqhubeka neya kubazali bayo, nangona ilixesha lokwenza usapho lwakho, alinamdla kuyo nantoni na. Kutheni iqhubeka, kwaye ngubani omele tyala? Masizame ukufumanisa.
Masikhumbule indlela ebingaphambi (ifanelekile, ukuba ungakwiminyaka engama-40 ngoku): Bazali bahambe, abantwana bachitha ixesha elininzi kwiiyadi zabo okanye abatyelele abahlobo. Ngokubanzi, abazali banobomi obunye, ebantwaneni. Kwixesha laseSoviet, bekukho ukusinda ngokomgangatho ophambili, ukufuna umntu ophakathi ophakathi ochithe lonke ixesha lakhe ngokwenza imali kunye nokufumana izigqibo zabantwana bokuqhubeka nemfundo. Njengoko usiqondayo, abantu abadala babengenaxesha lokunikela ingqalelo kumbutho wengqondo kunye neengxaki zengqondo zabantwana. Akumangalisi ukuba abo bantwana baphumelele kakhulu, amaxesha ngamaxesha ukuya kwi-psychologist, asokolayo ekoyikeni isizungu kunye nokungaqondi, nto leyo yahlala kuyo.
Vumela umntwana ukuba akhethe isifundo somphefumlo
Ifoto: Pixabay.com/ru.
Uninzi alunakubaxolela abazali abathi, ngokutsho kwabantwana, abazange banikele ingqalelo kakhulu kubo ngendlela abathanda ngayo. Ke ngoko, bakhulisa abantwana babo phantsi kwesiqubulo, "ubuntwana babo buya kwahluka." Inomngcipheko wayo apha, emva kwayo yonke into, ukufuna ukunika abantwana bakho ukuba baphiliswe, sinokuwela intonga "- kwaye apha umntwana akhule.
Akukho mntu uthi kuyimfuneko ukugcina uCudo kwi-cudo kwingqongqo, kodwa nokubonakala kuyingozi ngengozi, kwanokuqala kwakhe, ngenxa yokuba umntu ongulutsha uya kuba nobunzima obubalulekileyo emhlabeni.
Ngokutsho kwezinye zengqondo, kubalulekile ukuba ungabi ngumama ofanelekileyo, kodwa ulungile. Ingaba ithetha ntoni? Chaza.
Ulutsha luya kuhlala lulinde uncedo lwakho
Ifoto: Pixabay.com/ru.
Xa umntu efikelela iminyaka elishumi elivisayo, indalo inikezela ngokwahlukeneyo kubazali, ukuqala kobomi babantu abadala, nangona kunjalo, abazali banamhlanje badala imeko "yeGreenOule" kangangokuba umntu okwishumi elivisayo akawuboni umbono wengqondo. Ukwenzela ntoni? Umama uya kuhlala elungiselela, iisoyikiso, imivimbo, iya kuphosa imali. Ukuba uthe wadlula ngaphaya kwemida yendlu, kuya kubakho ubomi obubi, obungangangabo, apho kuya kuba yedwa.
Isisombululo esifanelekileyo kule meko injalo iya kuba kukudala iimeko zomntwana wakho omdala ofuna ukuzishukumisela. Kwaye asithethi ngeendlela zobundlobongela, masibe ngumzali ongonakazi: ngamanye amaxesha ungapheki, cela ukuba enze umntwana wakho, ungavumeli imali ukuba ikwazi ukufumana umvuzo. Kancinci uya kusuka kwindawo efileyo, kwaye yena ufuna ukwahlukana nawe.
Enye ingxaki iba sisiko eligqithisileyo, eliqala ngobuntwana: Ukulandela uqikelelo olulungileyo kunye nempumelelo kwimisebenzi eyahlukeneyo, abazali abayi kuthengwa kwimivuzo yesisa yabo. Ngenxa yoko, umntwana sele esuka kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi ayazi ukuba umzali (kwaye kwikamva kunye neqabane) uya kuhlala ebonelela, ukuze wonke umnqweno uya kurhoxisa nantoni na. Oko kukuthi, ukuzama ukudibanisa umntwana ukuba afeze, abazali benza okubi ngakumbi.
Umntwana kufuneka afunde ukuthatha uxanduva, umzekelo, afumane umsebenzi ngokuzimeleyo
Ifoto: Pixabay.com/ru.
Kwenziwe ntoni? Okokuqala, musa ukungxama ukoyisa zonke ii-verices. Nika umntwana ixesha lokuthatha isigqibo sokuba yeyiphi eyona nto inomdla kuye kwaye ufuna ukwenza ntoni. Inzala yendalo iya kunika iziphumo ezininzi, njengoko umntwana uya kuba linyathelo. Kwixa elizayo, akayi kuba nenkuthazo yokulinda abazali, umzekelo, phosa inguqulelo nomsebenzi, kuba umkhwa wokufunda uya kuphuhliswa sele kuphuhliswa.
Ukhathalelo lwabantwana bakho, xhasa imizamo yabo kwaye ungayinyanzeli iminqweno yakho engeyiyo. Kula matyala kuphela umntwana akhulise imvakalelo yoxanduva lobomi babo.