I-Epigraph:
Umlambo uqala nge-bitch eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka
Ewe, kwaye ubuhlobo buqala ngoncumo ...
(kwiiNgoma zoBuntwana bethu)
Ndiyakholelwa ukuba ndiyakholelwa kwisilwanyana ngasinye ...
Bancome ii-buddies zomyeni wakho? Yiyo yonke loo nto ngenxa yokuba kufuneka uxhase i-vasanard vasana, ishishini lokuqhushumba kwibhotile yakho? Okanye i-gerika petaste, yangaseld yangena engaphesheya kwi-Bachers engathandekiyo? Sukukhawuleza ukuqhuba ii-bastards entanyeni! Uyabona ukuba indoda yakho igalelwe kakhulu xa unguNareskov nabahlobo bakhe. Kwaye ayikhathali kude nekhaya konke konke. Ke ngoko, yenza ngathi uthembele ngokupheleleyo umnyuli wakho: bathi, Thetha nomntu ofuna, sithandwa, akukho nto imbi kuwe, kwaye sicinga ngokususa indlela yokukhupha Indoda ingamandla. Nangona kunjalo, khumbula: Kuphela ngabahlobo abaziingozi kuphela kufuneka baphile kwiNdlu - emva koko badlepha. Kwaye ayingoyiki kakhulu kuya kufuneka ukubandezeleka, ngenxa yentanda yakho. Kwaye ayizukusebenza ngaphandle kobuhlobo bobudoda!
Kodwa ukufumanisa ukuba ngubani onobungozi obuyingozi ngakumbi usapho lwakho, "utshaba" lumele lubukhangele ubuso. Ke ngoko, zithabatheleni kwaye uzidibanise amaqabane omntu wakho kufutshane. Emva koko uzichonge ngokwalo luhlu lungezantsi. Kuyo, uyakufumana isidanga sengozi yento nganye "yerhamncwa" kwaye, ukuba uthatha isigqibo sokuyiqhuba kwivenkile yakho yasekhaya, unokuvula ukuzingela kuyo yonke imithetho.
Elk
Luhlobo luni lwerhamncwa? Olu luhlobo lokungasebenzi kakuhle, ukuloba kwa-fan kunye nebhiya. Eyona nto inokwenzeka, isebenza nendoda yakho kuba umfundi okanye amaxesha esikolo. Nangona wayezalwe emsebenzini. Konke akufunayo kwintanda yakho yenu kukuba ngamanye amaxesha amenza abe yinkampani ekuhambeni kwendalo. Ngexesha lokubandayo, isimemo sokwaphula inkampu yentente kufutshane nendawo yokugcina amanzi ingahluka kwi-subgent kwilizwe elishushu, ukuya kwibhafini yedolophu okanye nasiphi na isiganeko esibonisa ukusela ibhiya.
Iimpawu zohlobo. I-ELK-eyona nto ibalulekileyo, isilwanyana esingenabungozi. Ukuphela komoya kuphela kukuba akaze abonelele abahlobo bakhe ukuba babambelele kuye. Ukuba i-elk ngokwakhe inosapho, kuya kuphinda athabathe abantwana bakhe ababazayo (ubukhulu becala, oyindoda) kunokuba babize ngexabiso eliphantsi. Ngokunyaniseka kukholelwa ukuba ezinye iindlela zokuzonwabisa ziqaqanjelwa ngabantu. Amanenekazi, ayakwazi ukonakalisa eyona kleve ibalaseleyo kunye netyhefu eyona nto ilungileyo ibhiya.
Iimpawu zokuzingela okunengqondo. I-moose ayinyanzelekanga ukuba itshabalalise ingcambu, emva kwayo yonke loo nto, akangomntu. Kwanele ukumbambe isibini seecawe ukuze ukhumbule, amanyeko akhuselekileyo akhuselekileyo kuwe, kwaye kuvinjelwe ukhwela apho. Umzekelo, ukuba i-elk inika intanda yakho yokuloba ngokuthe ngqo kumhla wokuzalwa okanye kwindawo yokuhlambela ngoDisemba 31, sibonisa ubunzima kwaye singayivumi indoda yakho. Ukuba yeyakho iyodwa ivela kwinyaniso yokuba "i-moose, zithi, umfazi wahamba ...", unekhadi eliphambili le-Trump- iimpikiswano ezicacileyo zenza isenzo sakho. Xelela intanda yakho ukuba umthanda kakhulu, kwaye yiyo loo nto ungafuni ukumhlukanisa ukuya kwiintsuku ezibalulekileyo kuwe. Kwaye akukho nto ibaluleke kakhulu- kutheni ungavumeli ukuba ndiye kwi-ELK? Ikhuselekile ngokupheleleyo. Abasetyhini kwinkampani ye-elk ayifumaneki, unokuqiniseka. Ewe, kunye nebhiya- nangona kunjalo hayi i-vodka. Kwaye, ukuba unethamsanqa, emva koko indoda ibulewe ekhaya.
Inja
Luhlobo luni lwerhamncwa? Inja ichitha kakhulu kwiqabane lakho okanye isoka lakho kwaye ukuphendula ilinde inkxaso kunye noncedo olunjalo. Njengommiselo, kunye nokhetho lwakho, i-PSA iqhagamshela umkhosi, ezemidlalo okanye nakuphi na ubuhlobo obungaphantsi. Inja inqumle umhlobo kwiimeko ezinzima, kwaye oyithandayo wamhlawula. Kwakukho ixesha apho babelala ebhegini enye yokulala (igumbi, igumbi, lewadi) kunye nefreyimu yokugqibela eyahlulwe ngokunyaniseka. Inja ikholelwa ngokunyaniseka ekubeni lelo xesha alitshintshile. Kwaye ukuba omnye wabo "uGorbushka" rubker (ngohlobo lwendawo enamakhaya asekhaya, ubuhle kunye nokutya okumnandi), kutheni ungabelani ngayo yonke le nto?
Iimpawu zohlobo. Ngokomgaqo, akukho monakalo ukhethekileyo kwi-PSA. Ukongeza, unokucela into echithwe kulo naliphi na ixesha okanye iphile (ukuba ayingasesi). Okanye ubuze imali kwityala. Kwaye umntu esimthandayo akasayi kuze agodule: emva kwayo yonke loo nto, kwimeko enjalo, i-pus ayinakuze inqamle. Ukongeza, "ii-rags" kwinja yakhe ethembekileyo umntu wakho ahlangabezana nobunzima: Ubuhlobo kunye naye yingcwele. Kwaye ke, ukuba uncedo lobuhlobo luyafuneka kwenye indawo ejikeleze isangqa se polar, intanda yakho, ngaphandle kokuthandabuza, uya kuyisusa i-ankile, iya kufuna ukuyifaka. Kwaye ukuba uxinzelelo luya kuqala ubomi bakho baseSatellite, ungathandabuzi, inja iya kuhlala endlwini yakho kwaye izakunikezelwa kwi-brandy engathandekiyo.
Iimpawu zokuzingela okunengqondo. Ukuzama ukuqhuba inja kwiNdlu, ityala alinangqondo kwaye liyingozi. Indoda yakho inokukhubekisa hayi ehlehleni nakuwe amabini ukuba akhethe i-psa. Ukuba inja yayisekuninzi kakhulu, zama ukuyigcwalisa. Ukuyifaka kwezona zicelo zibalaseleyo zoncedo oluhlobo noluncedo lwezemali - kwaye, ngasemva oyithandayo. Ungalibali ukulumkisa i-PA ukuba yonke into oyithethayo iphakathi kwakho kwaye umcele ukuba akunike umyeni wakhe. Kwaye ndiza kuxelela ithoni elusizi: bathi, umntu wakho ukuthozama, awusoze uthi, kodwa enyanisweni ixesha elide kumatyala njengakwizilimbo (bengakuthandi naphi na ( Kwi-sanatorium kuya kuba kuhle ukulungiselela ukucwangcisa!), imisebenzi sele iza kudlula (Fumana indawo efudumeleyo!) Ewe, kwaye kunye nezezindlu, kwaye ungabi koyika: inja ayizukunika wena. Ukuba inja yomyeni wakho inyani kwaye ayisiyonja kwaphela, kodwa i-freezer ne-Gnitza, uya kuzitola kungekudala, umhlobo ngokwakhe uya kumcela malunga noncedo. Ewe, ukuba indoda yendoda yakho yinja yokwenene, ethembekileyo, uya kukubuza ukuba ungakunceda njani. Ukusuka emphefumlweni uyambulela kuye kwaye ungazisoli kwi-rugi ekhayeni lakho - kukhwele ntoni irhamncwa elilungileyo?
Ihagu
Luhlobo luni lwerhamncwa? Ingulube inokunamathela kwindoda yakho naphi na - kwezinye, kwivenkile nakwinkampani eqhelekileyo. Oku nje ukuba isilwanyana esinokwazi okwethutyana kweyona mzuzu ingapheliyo sokubhengeza indoda yakho ngebhotile yevodka okanye imeme ngaphandle kwakho kwisiganeko esikrokrelweyo. Kwangelo xesha, kuwo onke amabango akho, iihagu ziya kuthetha ngawe kumntu wesithathu, nokuba ziphambi kwakho, "kwaye yintoni eyona nto iyenzakalisayo kuwe? Zonke izinto zethu ziyekeni ngaphaya kwakho! Okanye ngaba sele usinikile ukuba ungakuthembeli? " Konke oku kumisela indoda yakho ngendlela engeyiyo - kwaye, ngokunxulumene nehagu, nakuwe. Kwaye ihagu iyodwa! Emva koko, esamkele okwesithathu, okanye wolula izinto zakho ezimangalisayo "Babha", wammbeka egxalabeni lakhe kwaye wamnika inkathazo: "Musa ukutyeshelwa umsi wakho! I-TA-AH-A-Kaya bitch! "
Iimpawu zohlobo. Ingulube, njengomgaqo, awunathamsanqa kubudlelwane kunye nabasetyhini. Nokuba ufumana isiqingatha, angabikho ixesha elide. Ke ngoko, iyacaphukisa kakhulu xa umntu elungile. Ukuqonda ukuba eluthandweni, uya kuphumelela ukuba apheshelwe, ihagu iphela ukudida uMbutho wootata wootata kwaye babubeke nxamnye nabafazi. Oku kubekwe kuwe ukuze impindezelo ethile ngengqibelelo yakhe.
Iimpawu zokuzingela okunengqondo. Ukusuka kwihagu kubalulekile ukuba ungavumi ukuba ungahlukani-ngenye indlela engayi kwabela kude kutshabalalise usapho lwakho. Eyona ndlela ilula kunye neqinisekileyo yokugcina umgibe wehagu kufuneka iqale nge-lover yakho idlala ngehagu, emva koko imbethe phantsi kwetafile yedolo. Into ephambili kukuba iihagu zikholelwa ukuba ukuphefumla okungalingani kuye. Ke ngokungathandabuzekiyo uya kuqalisa ukubonisa ukuba akukho zimpawu zokuphendula kuwe- ngequbuliso okungenani nawe, ekugqibeleni, "waphula"? Ukongeza, ukubetha umhlobo ovela kumhlobo - upholile kakhulu kwaye pussy! I-Pepper idlala i-Pepper, ngokuqinisekileyo, ayithathi iliso lakho lesisu. Mhlawumbi uya kubuza umbuzo onyanisekileyo, uya kuhlunguzela ukuba akamthandi osithandayo: "Bonke abantu abafazi abazizidenge, kwaye nawo ababudenge bonke!" Ewe, ukuba kunjalo, namehlo aphelileyo, xelela umyeni wakho, xelela umyeni wakho, indlela iihagu ezityumkileyo ukuba "ungakonwabisi ukuba wonwabile, ngokungafaniyo nabanye ..." Nabuhlobo.
IGUSI
Luhlobo luni lwerhamncwa? I-Goose yintaka enjalo ehlala iqukethe impumelelo yakho phambi kwamadoda akho, imkhuthaza ngokuthe ngcembe kubo bonke ulwalamano oluhle. Ihlala ihleli, i-goose ibhabha kumsebenzi osemsebenzini okanye "zolula" ukusuka kude, zinomthwalo ngenxa yobuntwana. Umzekelo, i-goose ikwiselfowuni yakho epholileyo, kwi-caflinks ebiza isuti kunye ne-rade yedayimani kwaye phakathi kwetyala ithi: "Ewe, inkunkuma kwiKhasino! Funa, ndiza kukuxelela ukuba ziphi izinto ezilungileyo? ". Okanye kwimibala yokuthengwa kwemoto entsha okanye i-cottage, echaza: "Ewe, aba bantu bangamagunya agunyazisiweyo, cinga, konke awukwazi ukuyeka. Nika ifowuni? Ukhetho lunokwenzeka ukuba umncinci kwaye i-goose ivela kwelinye ilizwe. Ke iibhokhwe zegoose zinokubonakala ngolu hlobo: "Ewe, ndinendawo yokususa, cinga epokothweni yakho. Izityholo: bendinguIvan Ivanovich U-Ivanyayaka watsho, kwaye uMary Ivanna wajonga ngokuvakalayo entanyeni. " Kwaye inyani yokuba ixesha elide kunye ne-Ivan ye-Ivan Ivanovich igxotha abasebenzi abamzisela utywala, kwaye intombi endala i-Ivanna ibhala ubomi "kukungakhathali. Endaweni yoko, ufuna kuphela loo kuye - ukuba umyeni wakho aqhubeke phantsi kwimouddle. Emva kokufaka iqabane le-adventure, i-goose ngokwayo, njengommiselo, womile emanzini. Kwaye ke inokukhathazeka ngokulula ngawe ngamagama: "Ewe, i-loch yeyakho! Kufuneka sazi ukuba ngubani oza kudibanisa nabo ubomi bakho! " Kwaye kwangaxeshanye, ingabambisa iintsiba zakhe, ukuba icace gca - ubomi kufuneka bunxulunyaniswa naye! Akunzima ukuqikelela ukuba yintoni eshukuma i-Gusem: Lo ngumona-mani omona kunye nentsingiselo yokuzalwa. Kodwa nje ukungaboni kwaye akawuqondi umhlobo wakhe, oko kukuthi, umyeni wakho uyimfihlakalo.
Iimpawu zohlobo. I-Goose iyayityanda i-Soothed Serviess: Wayephupha ngalo lonke ubomi bakhe, ungcono kunabo bonke abantu, kodwa akazange akwazi kuye. Kwaye unesifo esikuyo ukuya kuthi ga ngoku, ukuba kuyakwazi nokushiya umntu othile komnye umntu okanye i-cufflinks (kunye nokuba yi-blonde entle (kwaye ingcolile "phambi komhlobo. UGuseu sisiphumo esifutshane, imvakalelo yokuba kule yesibini yipholile i-Eggs kuphela. Kwaye ukusukela enzonzobileni komphefumlo, i-goose isayiqonda ukuba ebomini iphosakele, emva koko izama ukutyibilika kunxila kakhulu.
Iimpawu zokuzingela okunengqondo. Ewe kunjalo, i-goose ibhetele ukuba netafile ene-Apple kwi-AFS ngaphezulu kwetafile njengomhlobo. Kodwa yilolo kwaye utye le ntaka, kufuneka uyibambe kuqala. Kule, imveliso kufuneka iqhutywa ngokufanelekileyo ngokusebenzisa ubuthathaka bayo. Isicelo soncedo lwe-goose asizukukoyikisa: Akayi kunika imali ngemali, kodwa nantsi ingcebiso "- hlala" nceda! Akukho meko ungavumeli ukuba intanda ithande iingcebiso, kwaye ixesha elide kuya kufuneka inciphise imiphumo. Eyona ndlela iqinisekileyo ye "Antgasin" kukuzibekela nkqu nakulo. Umzuzwana u-Utuching umzuzwana kwaye uxelele i-Gusu "emfihlakalweni" malunga nempumelelo yendoda yakho kwishishini, histing, njengoko unesifo se-mink alinganayo, ukuba awunayo Ewe, ungayi-guss kwaye umnikezele intombi). Apha uza kubona, imilenze ye-goose ingekumbi endlwini yakho ayiyi kuba njalo!