Ihlazo-indlela ... kancinci kwesi sandi! Kubonakala ngathi le mvakalelo ayizange ijonge kuthi ixesha elide, abantu abadala abazithembayo abayaziyo ukuba ayingabo bonke, kakhulu. Kubonakala ngathi uhlala kwindawo ekude yokuhlala njengohlobo lwamava entsomi, engalawuli kangako. Okanye unesikhuni?
Abanye bethu abazange bawavile amabinzana athi: "Kulungile, ungabi nazintloni", ungabizi, ngoku, ngabazali bakhe, ootitshala, ootitshala! Ngokudibeneyo ngala mazwi, isiza sangena kuthi, sicaca okanye sicace, uloyiko kunye nomoyiki wokukhanya. Babeqhagamshelwe ukudideka kwenqanaba lezinto: I-ANAED-Ngaba ifana? Yintoni endifanele ndiyenze ngoku ukuba ndive ukuyilungisa into endiyenzileyo? Oku kudideka kwavela kuba indlela yokuhlazeka ayiqhelekanga kumntwana, ayizalwa kunye naye, ayinayo i-organic ukuba inokubonakaliswa, imvelaphi. Khawufane ucinge: uphila nje, yenza into oyifunayo, kwaye ngequbuliso uya kuxhoma umntu onentsingiselo, omkhulu kwaye ungqumbo, unyamezelo kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela kunye nokunyamezela nokunyamezela. Umfanekiso owothusayo, akunjalo? Kodwa ukuba yonke into enxulumene nentloni ingathandekiyo (jonga ukuba mangaphi amagama apeyintiweyo esisebenzisayo kulo mhlathi omncinci!) Kutheni le nto ihlazo elingaziwayo nelingazizi?
Ekuqaleni, ihlazo lasebenza njengenjongo elungileyo: ukunqanda i-gust yethu ephantsi, ukufundisa ubuntu kuthi
Ifoto: HARTAHH.USPUS.com.
Ngaphandle kwamaNgqina
Ihlazo-lamkelwe imvakalelo. Akunakuchazwa ukuba uninzi lwabaphengululi babandakanyeka kwimibuzo enxulumene neentloni, uninzi lwabaphandi, ukusuka kwi-Aristotle eDarwin, i-freud kunye ne-ofma. Kuzo zonke iintlobo zeethiyori kunye ne-hypothesis, kukho enye esele ihambile kwi-Axiom ye-Axiom: Namhlanje siyayazi ngokuqinisekileyo ukuba siziintloni kukuba sinemvakalelo yokuba sinamaNgqina. Kunye nam sinokuziva sinetyala, ixhala okanye usizi, kodwa iya kuba neentloni kuluntu kuphela. Ngapha koko, luluntu - kuqala ebusweni bukaMama notata, ke, njengoko bekhula, kwaye abanye abantu abadala bayadibana - "baxhonywa" ihlazo.
Ngokwesiqhelo, le mvakalelo yenziwa ebantwaneni iminyaka emihlanu, kwaye, njengoko sele sibhale, okokuqala, sinxulunyaniswa nomzimba kunye nokubonakaliswa kwayo. Ngendlela, abantu abaninzi baphawula ukuba ihlazo, ngokwahlukileyo kwityala, ivakalelwa nje kwinqanaba lomzimba - ngamava asemzimbeni ngakumbi kunezinye iimvakalelo. Igazi elinamathele kwizihlabo zethu, unkqonkqoza etempileni - kwaye apha sele sibomvu kwiingcambu zeenwele, zilungele ukuwela emhlabeni. Amava anzulu, abuhlungu, otyebileyo, okokuqala ukufumana ixesha lesikolo langaphambi kwesikolo. Abantwana baqala ukuqonda isini sabo, sele besazi malunga noxinzelelo lwamantombazana namakhwenkwe, jonga indlela abazali abafihla ngayo, begcina kwigumbi lokuhlambela. Bayifunda le ndlela, baqonda ukuba ngenxa yesizathu esithile kubalulekile ukufihla amalungu omzimba wakho, ungazibekeli uphononongo lomntu wonke. Eli lixesha elibaluleke kakhulu apho iinkosi kunye nootata bahlala bephukile "i-psyche yabantwana, umdla wazo wemvelo kwindawo esenyongweni. Iziphumo zinokuba lusizi: Abo babenenzelwa njengomntwana ukuze bazifunde, bahlala beneengxaki ezahlukeneyo kwinqanaba lesondo, ekungakwazini ukuphazamiseka kwezesondo kunye nokuphambuka. Ndandinomhlobo obukholelwe ngokunyaniseka ukuba ukusondela kweso sisondeleyo, kubi, kubi, nomsebenzi otshatileyo, kwaye umsebenzi omtshato ucinge ngokuchanekileyo njengetyala, inkonzo ethile. Ngaphezu koko: Wayengakwazi ukudlulisela iimviwo zonyango, kukhanya ezindlebeni xa umntu wayenomda wokuyeka amahlaya "ngezantsi kwebhanti". Kuyimfuneko ukuthi ubudlelwane bakhe nabafazi bakhe babebuhlungu kakhulu kwaye baphelelwa ngamandla. Xa umntu eqhele ukuqhekeka ekubeni agqibe kwelokuba aguqukele kwingcali, iguqula iinkcukacha ezinomdla: Kubhekiswa ukuba nayiphi na imibuzo ", ukuba uMama noMakhulu baye banqanda inkwenkwe kwaye basohlwaya inkwenkwe Ukuba waphula imithetho yosapho.
Ke njani? Ngaba ngokwenene yindoda engenazintloni (nangaphambi kweminyaka ethile bonke abantwana abanjalo kwaye akukho mida kunye nezithintelo? Ungayidinga, kodwa ngobunono, ngononophelo kwaye ngaphandle kogwebo. Kwiminyaka emihlanu ukuya kwemithandathu, uSiphalo wakho kufuneka abe nohlobo oluthile lwentsimi, indawo ekhuselekileyo- kwaye kufuneka uchaze ukuba akukho sihloniso sodwa kunye nawe, kodwa ungoyiki, kodwa musa ukwenza izinto ezithile, Kuba ayifanelekanga.
Indlela yokugubungela
Ke ...
1. Iiwayile. Uhlala edlula eneentloni, kwaye asikwazi ukwahlula omnye komnye. Kodwa oku kubalulekile. Uphawu lwetyala - akakushiyi yedwa kunye naye, ngelixa ihlazo yimvakalelo yoluntu.
2. Uloyiko. Esinye isalamane esisondeleyo sinomhlaza. Siyoyika ukuhlazeka, sisoyika ukuba siya kubanjwa ngento ehlazo, soyika ukufumana iingxaki kunye neentloni. Konke oku kunxulumene nokoyika ngenxa yokungakhathalelwa kwaye soyike ukuba, njengathi, siyaliwe.
3. Ulwaneliseko. Okothusayo kukuba, abanye banemvakalelo yokuzonwabisa ngokunzulu xa befumana ihlazo. Iingcali zengqondo zikubiza ngokuba kukuphambuka, kwaye abantu abafuna ukuba neentloni bandakanya abantu abanokuziphatha okuphambili.
Kodwa ukuba yonke into ibilula kakhulu! Ngaba ukhe waqaphela ukuba abantu abahlukileyo baneentloni ngezinto ezahlukeneyo? Konke kuba abazali bethu abanjalo abanjalo basasaza izimvo zabo. Ke, ebuntwaneni bam, ndandingakhathalelwanga umzimba wam, kodwa ndihleka kakhulu, kwaye ngokubanzi kwakungeyomfuneko ukuba ndibonise ulonwabo nangokosapho lwangamkelwanga. "Ngaba awunazintloni zokuhleka kangaka?" Ndandindisa. Ekuqaleni kwakungekho caco ngokucacileyo into ephunyeziweyo abadala, kodwa ngokuthe ngcembe ndaqala ukuqaphela ukuba "ukuhleka" kuluntu akunamsebenzi, kwaye lowo uziphatha "njengehashe Zigubungele, nemfelene yakhe. Kodwa intombi yam ineentloni ukuba nengqumbo kwaye inomsindo - umakhulu wakhe wayesoloko efaka intombazana ukuba ayibhuqa isiponji, ibeka imilenze yakhe kwaye ikhuphe imilenze. Intombazana ecocekileyo yatshabalalisa ngokuziphatha ngeemvakalelo ezingalunganga (ezihlangabezana nathi ngamnye wethu!). Ngenxa yoko, ebudaleni, akanakulwa kwaye akanamzi, avutha ngehlazo xa ingqumbo ilungisa inyuka. Kutshanje, umntu osebenza naye waphawula ibhaso lakhe- ngendikutshitshisa yonke into embizeni (kwaye ngubani ongekhe?). Kodwa wanikwa iinyembezi kuphela, emva koko iinyanga ezimbalwa (!) Kwakukuhlazisa iinyanga ezininzi, kuba ngaphakathi wayenomsindo.
Ekuqaleni, ihlazo lasebenza njengenjongo elungileyo: ukunqanda amandla ethu aphantsi, ukufundisa umntu kuthi. Ke, uphando luthi umntwana onobukhulu obufutshane akhula ekuphuhlisweni. Ummangalelwa wendalo kuthi sisitshixo kwinto yokuba siza kuzama ukulandela imigangatho yokuziphatha kunye nokufakwa. Igama eliphambili apha "yindalo", kodwa, ye-AK, uluhlu lwento engavumelekanga (hayi ngenxa yokuba iyingozi okanye ingamkelekanga kakhulu) inokuba ixesha elide kwaye ingamkelekanga. Le misebenzi, emva koko singene kubudala, ukubandezeleka kwi-Taboos engaqhelekanga esasifune ukuba abazali bethu bakwazi ukusilawula kwiimpawu zethu eziqhubekayo. Ewe, inyani yindlela yokuziphatha okubi "okanye inomsindo? Ukubonakaliswa kweemvakalelo zabantwana akunakuvavanywa nje ukusuka kwindawo yokujonga isimilo. Asinakuzithanda ezi zibonakaliso-kule meko, umsebenzi kukufundisa isizukulwana esincinci ukuba siziveze ngathi ukuba "unobuhlobo", oko kukuthi, indlela eyamkelekileyo nekhuselekileyo. Xa umntwana ebetha umama, unokubhenela kwihlazo kunye nesazela, kwaye umsondeze endaweni yokulwa neenyawo zam okanye ubetha umqamelo, wangcangcazela. Kodwa rhoqo 'inamathela' umntwana ngomsindo, enye yeemvakalelo ezisisiseko, ekufuneka ufunde ukuphila, musa.
Eyona ndawo ixhaphakileyo, apho amabhinqa anyikimayo anyikima khona, isahlala isikhundla sabo
Ifoto: HARTAHH.USPUS.com.
Kumnqweno wokuLungela
Ukongeza kubazali abanegalelo ekumiselweni kwendalo yethu, i-hypetrophyrophysity, siphantsi kwempembelelo yemvelaphi yoluntu isenzo esithile seMigaqo. Amagqabi owomeleleyo: Lowo wazi ukuba uthembekile kwimikhwa yakhe kwaye wema, wakwazi ukufumanisa ukuba yintoni ebangela ukuba uvuyo, hayi "ngaphandle kwesebe lezazela. Abanye baphumza - kwaye bona, lonto, u-Awu, uninzi olugqibeleleyo-ulinde ugqatso lwemvumelwano lwentlalo. Into ongayi kuyenza ukuphepha imvakalelo yehlazo, kuba inikela ngenene ngenyameko.
Eyona ndawo ixhaphakileyo ngayo abafazi bale mihla bahlunguzela isimo sabo. Ukwahlukana, ngaphandle kwabantwana, ngaphandle kweqabane? Kuyabonakala ukuba, kukho into engalunganga kuwe. Kuba ndineentloni, ukuba ndihlale, ndonwabele ukukhetha nokulololo, yini na? Kwaye nokuba uthatha isigqibo "Ingxaki", uphume umtshato kwaye uzala abantwana abatshatileyo, awukhuselekanga kulo lonke - iliso loluntu. Ngoku baneentloni ngoku ukuba yindoda kunye nonina. "Ngaba ukondla umntwana ngeMacarona?" -Imangalisiwe i-eyerows eqinileyo, ndacela umhlobo wam wakutshanje. Emva koko kwalandela ibali malunga nokuba ngumzali wokwenene (kwaye yintoni engakokwenene?) Luhlobo luni lonyana wam mna noNano, ndimnika i-pasta yesidlo sangokuhlwa. Kwesi sibengo, ndiye ndayiva idanino edayiweyo "indlela ongenazintloni ngayo!". Ndakhawuleza ndaba neentloni, kancinane, ndakhawuleza ndathabatha ezandleni zam, ndakhumbula ukuba ndingumdala, ndingaqonda ukuba uneentloni.
Amadoda aneentlungu zabo. Sele siyibhale malunga nendlela amakhwenkwe avela ebuntwaneni abekekile kwimbono yokuba iinyembezi zendoda - ihlazo lokwenyani. Ukongeza kwinto yokuba abathobeliyo bengavumelekanga ukukhala, abanakuba yimbi kwaye bafumane abafazi abancinci. Kwaye ukuba iqabane lakho alikulungelanga ukuqaqamba (oko akunandaba, kuba le nto yayidiniwe, i-Lee igula yagula) - yonke into, unokuthi atyeke ephila umzuzu.
Imfundo, umdla, ezomzimba - ngaphezulu ngaphandle kwengxelo yokungena: Ukuba awukafundanga uPlato noHegel, awunakuthathwa njengomntu wokwenene? Ndikhethe umsebenzi wokusebenza, ndaye ndagqiba kwelokuba ndingasuki njengemfundo ephezulu - kuthetha umntu osisiyatha engenabulumko kwaye amfutshane ngaphandle kwamabhongo. Ndikhethe umsebenzi wokukhulisa abantwana, ayinakufane nayo nantoni na, yabaleka yalala. Uthando kakhulu ukongeza kunye nokubonakala. Kwisifo seSlangs sanamhlanje, iqashiso liye lavela (ukusuka kwisenzi sesiNgesi ukuya kuhlazo - "ihlazo"). Iqaqambile kakhulu, iqaqambile okanye, ngokuchaseneyo, ichani, inxibe i-skirt ezimfutshane, awuyinxibi ipinki ngokubanzi, sukuzithoba kwi-hairsterser ... umntu osukela iimfuno zoluntu ukuba Jonga ngolu hlobo loluntu oludingayo, unokuzizisa ekufundeni.
Ukubetha kuyaliwe kunye nokuboniswa kwethu, kusenza singafuneki, singafikeleli iplanga elisekwe luluntu. Ixesha elide ndizama ukubonakala ngathi ndibone. Umama wayefuna ukuba ndithwale iimpahla kwaye ndingumfazi. Omnye wentanda wabona umlindo wendlu ongumzekelo kum, omnye wayefuna ukuba ndisebenze ngokwasemzopolitiko. Ngalo lonke ixesha ndingakhange ndithethelelene nolindelo lomntu, nditsho ndingabalungelanga umsebenzi, ngokungazi ukuba ndipheke isidlo sangokuhlwa kwezitya ezintathu, ngamanye amaxesha bendinemikhosi yokuthumela yonke Abo bazama ukundenza into ekuqondeni kwabo, kuhambo olude nolunomdla.
Uninzi lwethu sifumana iimvakalelo ezingalunganga, siziva singazihluphi, inkangeleko yethu, hayi kuba benza into engamkelekanga, kodwa ngenxa yokuba abayifezekisi ithemba lomntu. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele okwenzekayo, kunye nokwahlula ingqolowa kumceli mngeni. Ngaphandle kokuzama ukumba, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha uncedo lweengcali, musa ukwenza. Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba iziphumo zomsebenzi wakho ziya kuba yimvakalelo yenkululeko namandla. Emva kokuba usete kwakhona ihlazo lobuxoki, umhlaba ongapheliyo ovavanyo kunye novavanyo luya kuvulwa.
Sukuzama ukukhululeka kuye wonke umntu
Ifoto: HARTAHH.USPUS.com.
Inyala kuwe…
... ukwenza kancinci. Umbutho usichaza: eyona mali, kokukhona uyiyo. Vuka, ayifani! Impilo-ntle yezinto eziphathekayo sisixhobo kuphela, kwaye sineentloni ukuba umvuzo wakho uphantsi kunaleyo yabahlobo. Zama ukungqinga iindawo eziya kuzokuza kukuhlazisa, umbuzo olula: "Kutheni le nto ndineentloni?"
... musa ukuzama ukunciphisa umzimba. Asithethi malunga namatyala xa umntu enesifo esilukhulayo - emva koko imeko yakhe yomzimba ichaphazela impilo. Kodwa ukuba sithetha nge-chilograms "eyongezelelweyo", unokuthetha ngokukhuselekileyo kubacebisi ukuba bazenze ngokwakho, kodwa hayi ngawe.
... ukhetha iintlobo ezithile zesondo. Ukuba abahlobo bakho kunye nabathandekayo bazama ukuzisa kubomi bakho obusondeleyo, bakhumbuze ukuba akukho mntu usecaleni lakho ebhedini yakho. Ngokwemvelo, sithetha ngokukodwa malunga noko kuvunyelwe ngumthetho!
... Ungafundi / ubukele / utyelelo lweekhosi zokuzikhusela. Ufuna ukwenza konke oku? Zenzele wena, kodwa ungacebise abanye!
Zibuyisele
Ngokwahlukileyo njengemvakalelo ebuhlungu yehlazo lobuxoki. Ngaphandle komahluko, ehlabathini okwangoku, kukho izimvo ngokubanzi malunga nokulungileyo nokubi, ngobulungisa, inceba kunye nenkohliso. Ukuba uphela uphela kwezi nqanaba kwaye uwele umgca, imvakalelo yehlazo yinto yendalo kwaye iyimfuneko. Ngamanye amaxesha, kunokwenzeka ukuba utyelwe kumava obuxoki.
Ukuba usondele kakhulu, uphendula ngobunono, kodwa ngokuzithemba. Buza umntu ozama ukukufunda okanye wenze ukuba neentloni, kutheni kufanele kwenzeke? Zihlule kumntu omthandayo, chitha ubizwa ngokuba yisahlukana: "Mamela, Mama (Tata, umntakwethu, kwaye andizenzi nayiphi na into yokuziphatha, Ungasebenzisi nabani na ukuba enze njalo. Ndiyaqonda ukuba awuyithandi, kodwa andinakwenza nto kuwe. "
Ukuba "ihlazo!" Uyadanduluka kwabanye abantu, musa ukudidanisa ukuba ubonise ubundlongondlongo kunye nokungqongqo (khumbula ukuba ubundlobongela abusoloko bubrhabaxa). Vumela inkalipho kunye namandla amandla makunike ukuqonda ukuba le ntlaselo ingena kwintsimi yakho kwaye izame ukukuqhekeza. Sukuzama ukukhululeka kuye wonke umntu!