Umnqweno ongagungqiyo wokuba ugqibelele uhlala kwaye kuyo yonke into, umnqweno we-munic wento elungileyo, ukuxhomekeka ekudumleni nasekuvunyweni abanye abantu - konke oku kunesithukuthezi esibizwa ngokuba "ngumfundi obalaseleyo ebomini." Yintoni embi ukuba ikwazi ukujamelana nayo yonke imicimbi nge-Bang? Ngaba kuyingozi ngaphambi kokona kulungileyo? Kwaye kutheni le nto abo bazifumanayo bengamandla obunzima obugqwesileyo, rhoqo bajamelana nexhala kunye noxinzelelo?
I-syndrome egqwesileyo yenye yezona zinto zidumileyo ezikhankanya kwimeko kwaye ngaphandle kwabona bangazi kwaphela kwingqondo yabantu. Kwangelo xesha, le ngxaki ithathwa njengento engeyiyo, yaqhathane, njengemeko engasongelanga umgangatho wobomi. Isimo sengqondo esinjalo kwiingxaki zengqondo siziqhelanisa nengqondo yaseRussia: kunqabile ukuba ivume yona ukuba inengxaki yokudakumba (nje kuba ithathwa njengento efana nengqumbo ephezulu kunye nezandla). Yintoni oza kuyithetha malunga "nabafundi abagqwesileyo", ezibekho kubukho obugqibeleleyo ngaphandle kwethuba lokufumana uncedo. Sizamile ukuqonda ukuba umnqweno ogxothiweyo uya kuhlala 'ungowokuqala ", kunye nokuphuma kule meko ngelahleko encinci.
-Ngokolunye oochwephesha bengqondo, ukusuka kubunzima bomgwebi Abafazi bahlupheka kabini rhoqo kunamadoda. Ixhunyiwe nge-stereotypes eziyingozi 'elungileyo "kunye" ne "ufanele".
- Uloyiko - Nazi ezona zinto ziphambili zobomi ekuqaleni, kwaye ke umfundi obalaseleyo. Uloyiko lukhulisa iziphumo ezibi, ukuya kukhawulezisa kunye nokunyanzeliswa
Ukuphazamiseka.
- I-Agadoniya Eli ligama libonisa ukungakwazi ukonwabela nantoni na- kwaye uqhelene nabantu abanesifo esihle kakhulu sesyndrome. Ngalo lonke ixesha, bahlala phantsi kwemotto: "Awungekhe ungaqondi", kwaye ungabe nemihlali ngovavanyo.
Umbuzo wabantwana
Zikhula phi iinyawo zakho kwiNgcali? Kuyenzeka ukuba uqonde oku kwigama elivela kwigama: Ngalo lonke ixesha siqhele ukuqhelana neSifo seSifo seSikolo, ngexesha apho uvavanyo luqaliswa khona kuyo yonke indawo. Asingophawu kuphela kwidayari. Xa wayeneminyaka esixhenxe ubudala, umntu uza kwinqanaba elisebenzayo loluntu kunye nokujonga izinto eziphilileyo kuzo ngaphandle. Kwaye ngoku akanguye kuphela unyana owuthandayo kunye nomzukulwana othandekayo, kodwa umfundi ongenamsebenzi, indawo enkulu, umfundi ofunda naye.
Eli xesha lithatha bonke abantwana, kodwa kutheni umntu emshiya wekhephu, kwaye umntu othile wenza umthwalo wamathandabuzo kunye namathandabuzo? Yonke le nto kusapho kunye nokuphendula kwabadala ababalulekileyo kwiinguqu kubomi bomntwana. Ukuba uyawondlakalisa uHoligan kunye nosana olungaziwayo, onokuba nzima kubafundisi-ntsapho nakubazali bambonise uthando nokwamkelwa komntwana, ngaphandle kokufumana impumelelo, umnqweno obuhlungu ngenxa yokumdumisa. Kwixa elizayo, umntu akasayi kukhathazeka izimvo zabantu azibalulekanga kuye.
Umzali, oxhomekeke kuqikelelo lwekota nganye, olubalulekileyo kunye nokudlula ngokudlula, iiprojekthi zomnqweno wakhe wokuthanda umntwana wakhe
Ifoto: HARTAHH.USPUS.com.
Kodwa ukuba "wangena ebantwini" kwaye akamthandi umntu, kwaye emva kwale, abazali bakho babonisa zonke izimvo zabo, njengoko bekhathazekile kwaye bebhala. I-ALO, inani elihle lekhadi elihle liphantse lidluliselwe kude kuse kwisizukulwana esincinci. Umzali, oxhomekeke kuqikelelo lwexesha ngalinye, elibalulekileyo kwaye elidlulileyo elidlula, uqhutywa ngumnqweno wakhe wokuthanda umntwana wakhe (ngokuqinisekileyo ungazi). Kwaye ke indoda encinci ibona ukuba kubalulekile ukuba 'silungile' (Nokuba "ogqwesileyo"), ngokulungele umzali, kungenjalo ungaboni luthando okanye uphosakeleyo, ukuphoxeka okuqinileyo.
Umnqweno wokukholisa utata nomama unokubizwa ngokuba yindalo, kodwa enyanisweni ayinjalo. Ulwalamano lwendalo phakathi kwezihlobo zabadala nelasezantsi luthando kunye nokwamkelwa komntwana abengowomnye umntu, nantoni na eyenzekayo, ngakumbi kwilizwe "langaphandle". Umntwana ozinzileyo ngokwengqondo uyazi ukuba le mvakalelo, kuyavela, kuyafuneka ukuze ufumane into ethile yokuziphatha. Kodwa umntwana osulelwe kukuntsonkotha kobugqwetha, ufuna uthando oluhle kakhulu, ngokuchanekileyo, ukubonakaliswa kwayo) kwaye ukulungele ukuyifumana.
Ukuze ufezekise ngokwabo, abantwana banendlela ezimbini - indlela "elungileyo" nomntwana ombi "ombi. "Kulungile" ziya kudla ilifa ukuxhomekeka kwe-neurotic kwiimvavanyo zendalo esingqongileyo kwaye siza kuzama ukuba ngumntu wonke. "Ibi" iza kwenza ngokuchaseneyo, izama ukutsala umdla wokuziphatha kwe-hooligan kunye nokunikwa okuyingozi. Isangqa sobudlelwane savalwa: Kwiminqweno emfutshane eninzi, iminqweno egqithisileyo sele iwabekile lonke ixesha lokufumana indumiso kwaye iyakholiswa. KuBantwana bomntu onjalo, kwaye abazukulwana, nakwabazukulwana abakhulu, 'ubumbano "" obuhle "buya kuzibonakalisa phantse ngamandla eepesenti ezilikhulu.
Idayari ingqikelelo
Ke, sabuka iingcambu zentsomi. Uvela kumbuzo: Ngaba kufuneka ndisokola ngalo mhlaba konke konke? Yintoni embi ukuba ibe ngulowo ufuna ukulungela?
Masiqale ngento yokuba ukugqibelela yingcinga efikayo. Akukho nto imbi kwaye iyingozi kwi-psyche ukuzama ukufezekisa iplanga eliphakamileyo, eqonda ukuba kuthetha ntoni kuwe. Kule meko, uya kuzibonela usukelo kwaye uzame ukuyifezekisa. Onke amagqabaza abantu ababukele ukuba bakho, bangathatha okanye bangaqwalaseli. Uvavanyo lweqela lesithathu lukuphela kolwazi kuphela lokucamngca, kwaye ngamanye amaxesha isandi esingenanto. Uluvo lomntu ongeyonxalenye yesi "isangqa esiphakathi" asiyi kukuchukumisa.
Kodwa kwenzeka njani ukukhula kwesazisi somntu wonke ozama ukukholisa wonke umntu nomntu, usoyika "emehlweni omntu kwaye uzama ukuphoswa yimfezeko ngovavanyo lwayo? Abantu abanjalo kunqabile ukuba bathethe "hayi", boyika ukuphoxeka yinkosi, umhlobo, iqabane, umzali, umzali. Banikela ingqalelo enkulu kwindlela abajonga ngayo emehlweni eendawo ezihlala kuyo, bakha umfanekiso wabo ogqibeleleyo.
Ingxaki kukuba le "is yakho" iveza abanye, kodwa hayi "umfundi obalaseleyo". Akazi indlela yokuqonda, akazi kwaye esoyika eyakhe iminqweno, kunye nobunzima benza izigqibo. Izifundo zibonisile: Phakathi "abafundi ababalaseleyo" kukho iinkokeli ezimbalwa. Oku kuyaqondakala: Ukuze ubambe isikhundla esikhokelayo, kubalulekile ukuba sikhawuleze kwaye ngokucacileyo 'sizenze i-Bets ", ngamanye amaxesha singazikhathazi malunga nokuba ngubani kwaye yintoni eza kwenza ntoni ngawe. "Ukungalunganga" akunyamezeleki ukuba umntu okwilizwe elingonelisekanga zizodwa. Kungenxa yoko le nto athanda ukuba athabathe isikhundla somthamo othembekileyo, owomeleleyo nonobushushu.
Rhoqo, "abafundi abahle kakhulu" banengxaki ngokwesini. Kwaye apha izizathu zilale kumphezulu. Ubomi obusondeleyo buyindawo enganyamezeli izizathu kunye nemaski. Ngobomi bezesondo ophumelelayo, kuyafuneka ukuba uqonde iminqweno yakho kunye nokukwazi ukuthetha ngazo (njengokungathi "hayi"), ngaphandle koloyiko ngaphandle kolowo ukhubekisa.
Ke, ubomi babo bachitha iminyaka yabo balungileyo ekuqhubekeni "kwezihlanu" kwabanye, kuphela ezivela ecaleni kunokubonakala zigqibelele. Ngapha koko, yonke imihla abantu abaxhomekeke kubo kukusebenza nzima: ungayeki okanye uphumle. Unokubakhona kule ndlela nje, kodwa ixesha nje elincinci: kungekudala, kamva kuya kubakho ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo, uxinzelelo, mania.
Imfezeko - ingcinga ibaluleke kakhulu
Ifoto: HARTAHH.USPUS.com.
Ukungathobeli kweholide
Kuthekani ukuba ufumene ubunzima obugqwesileyo? Sikhokelwa ngumgaqo ophambili walo naluphi na unyango: Sisebenza ngesicelo. Oku kuthetha ukuba ukuba akukho mfuneko yokuba awutshitshisi, kwaye uyayazi into yakho yexesha elide, awufuni inxaxheba kuye, awufuni kusebenza naye, akukho mfuneko yakwenza oko.
Ihlukile ngokupheleleyo ukuba ukuqonda "ukuze ungaphili" uyanifumana kwaye ungavumi ukuya, kwaye ngenxa yempilo "yengqondo nezenyama nezenyama. Apha, ufuna indlela eqinileyo neqinileyo.
Into yokuqala, ukusuka kwinto ekufuneka uyilahle indlela yokubuyisela kwimeko yesiqhelo, kukucima uqikelelo. Nasiphi na. Kwidilesi yakho, kwizalamane kwaye kufutshane, oqhelene nabantu ongabaziyo. Njengoko sisazi, abafundi abagqwesileyo bangabadlali abahle kakhulu, ngoko ke zithathele ingqalelo. Ngokucacileyo nangokucacileyo "Isihluzo" intetho yakho kunye nengqondo yakho, ukuphosa zonke iintlobo zezigwebo eziqikelelweyo apho. Njengoko eyaziwayo, intetho ibhlukhwe phakathi kokuqonda kwaye inyani, ngoko mabakho "amazwi athi" Kulungile "," Wenze "kwaye ngenxa yoko ungavakali kwimilebe yakho.
Sikhumbula ukuba abantu abanesifo sesifo esihle balikhoboka lokudumisa, oko kuthetha ukuba kubalulekile ukuba ufumane le ndumiso, kodwa hayi kwabanye, kodwa ... kuwe! Kukho nolawulo olukhuselekileyo: Khetha ngokwakho izincomo ezingena uqikelelo. Qiniseka ukuba ubabhalele phantsi komzuzu onzima ukuze ukwazi ukutshicela kuluhlu lwakho lomlingo.
Elona nyathelo libalulekileyo lokuphilisa ukusuka kwi-strongs kukujonga emehlweni oloyiko lwakho kwaye uthathe. Yintoni imbeko yoyika? Ewe, "ezimbini"! Ebudeni, ezi "zisindileyo" azibalulekanga, kodwa ukuze ufumane isimilo esingalunganga - ukufa njengako, ke, yenza le nkqubo ilawulwa. Ngaba ungoyena mntu ulungileyo, kwaye wonke umsebenzi wasekhaya uqhelekile ukuba izitya zakho ziphezulu zemfezeko? Ukusinciphisa kakhulu isitya, kancinci, ngokokude ubesazi ukuba "kukho into engahambanga kakuhle." Ngaba ulungele intetho esidlangalaleni? Beka into engalunganga eyamkelweyo ngamagama ambalwa. Uya kubona ukuba iziqhulo zakho ezincinci zincinci kwaye akukho mntu unika ixabiso elikhulu elingafezekanga ngaphandle kwakho. Kubalulekile ukuba uve ngalo mzuzu wolawulo: Awunakuphela, kwaye isibhakabhaka asiyi kuwa emhlabeni, ukuba umntu uqaphele. Ziqhelanise noluhlobo olunjalo ngokusemandleni- kwaye uyakuqonda ukuba akuyomfuneko ukuba udlale uMnu.
Njengomthetho, abantu abanengxaki yobunzima obugqwesileyo, bahlala kwi-voltage yangasemva kunye noxinzelelo. Ke kufuneka ukhethe ukuziqhelanisa nokuphumla ezifanelekileyo kuwe. Kubalulekile ukuba ubakhuphele kwiiklasi apho unokufumana khona "uvavanyo" kwaye uqalise ukudumisa. Ke imidlalo yokhuphiswano, umzobo weqela okanye umdaniso, we-AK, ungabili. Kodwa ukubandakanya ukupeyinta yedwa kunye nawe, zama isandla sakho kwisangqa sakho sebhongo, tyelela ichibi ngaphambi kokuvalwa (ukungabhukuda okwethutyana!) - Iinketho ezifanelekileyo! Jonga umba ongenakubangela umnqweno wakho wokwenza kube ngcono kunabo bonke.
Okokugqibela, akukho mntu urhoxisiweyo we-psychotherapy, ehlangabezana ngempumelelo kunye nezinto ezikhoyo, ejongene nemvelaphi nokuphelisa ingcambu yobubi. Ingcali inokukubonelela ngeendlela ezininzi zezenzo, kubandakanya neqela. Umsebenzi weqela yindlela entle yokujonga ecaleni.