Kumbalwa kangangeminyaka embalwa edlulileyo, uqhawulo-mtshato lwalunqabile kakhulu. Ukuza kuthi ga ngoku, kuye kwaba yinto ebaluleke kakhulu, kwaye abafazi abaninzi bakhulisa abantwana yedwa. Nangona kunjalo, ubomi emva kokuqhawula umtshato akuphelanga, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi iyeza kumtshato wesibini. Ngomtshato wesibini - umyeni wesibini kwaye, ngotata wesibini omntwana ...
Ayiphumelanga ngaphandle kokutsho ukuba imbonakalo yomntu ngaphandle kosapho ayinakukwazi ukudlula. Ngakumbi ukuba kukho abantwana kolu ntsapho. Ewe kunjalo, kukho iintsapho apho olo tshintsho luqhubeka lungagungqi, kodwa oku akunamathamsanqa.
Uninzi lwalosapho olunye, kubonakala kukatata wakhe wamaqabane, ubuso obuninzi kakhulu benengxaki yeengxaki neengxabano, ezithi, zivele ziphakathi kotata kunye namaqabane amancinci, zibhala jfody.ru.
Ndingazithintela ezi ngxaki? Iresiphi yendalo yonke, ilungele naluphi na usapho, ngelishwa, ayikho. Nangona kunjalo, oogqirha bezengqondo bezintsapho abaninzi basanika iingcebiso ngokubanzi zokunceda ezigudileyo eli xesha lokufakelwa usapho.
INDLELA YOKUZIPHATHA NGOKUGQIBELA IINGXAKI ZOKUZIPHATHA NGENXAXHEBA NOKUMKANTSI, Uncedo lokumisela ubuhlobo kubo kwaye ufunde ukuthembana, ngoku iya kuxutyushwa.
Ewe kunjalo, ukuze usapho olutsha lube lomelele kwaye lube nobuhlobo, kuya kufuneka unamathisele unyamezelo kunye nemikhosi emininzi. Akukho nto inokwenzeka. Kodwa akunyanzelekanga ukuba kwenzeke ukuba imeko iya kusonjululwa ngokwayo, kwaye ifunwa kakhulu emntwaneni, nokuba yintoni enze izinto ezenzekileyo ukuxolelanisa. Kule meko, abantu abadala kuya kufuneka bathabathe bonke uxanduva ngento eyenzekayo, kuba banamava obomi, kwaye ubulumko buninzi kunalomntwana.
Ungubani?
Owona mbuzo wokuqala ufuna ukucaciswa kwasekuqaleni yindlela umntwana afanele ayinze ngayo kwilungu elitsha losapho. Rhoqo umfazi, ukukhokelwa ngumnqweno ngokukhawuleza okoko kufundisa umntwana kumyeni wakhe omtsha, yenza ukuba umbizele utata. Ngamanye amaxesha, umntwana akatshatanga ngumama aze aqalise ukutsalela utata wotyelelo phantse ngosuku lokuqala. Njengommiselo, ukuphuhliswa kweziganeko kudla ngokuqhelekileyo kwiimeko ezimbini: nokuba umntwana usemncinci kakhulu, kwaye uLizwi mamama makabe nenyaniso engaguqukiyo, okanye umntwana woyika kakhulu ukuba angazicombuli yona. Kwaye ukuba kwimeko yokuqala, njengommiselo, akukho ngxaki zikhethekileyo kubudlelwane botatakazi wesibini kunye nomntwana, emva koko kwimeko yesibini imeko imbi kakhulu. Uya kuthiwa ngu-upopu umntu ongomnye umntu, kodwa uyamthanda ngokunyaniseka umntwana akanakuphumelela. Ewe, akazukubandakanyeka ekuvuleni okuvulekileyo nomama nolweentanda-ntathu, kodwa nantsi into eza kwenzeka emphefumlweni, iya kuhlala imfihlelo yamaTywina aSixhenxe, ubhala uJlady.ru.
Kungenxa yoko le nto oogqirha bezengqondo banombono wabo ochazwe ngokucacileyo koku. Akukho kwimeko, musa ukunyanzela umntwana kuyo nayiphi na into, kwaye nangakumbi ukuze umntwana aqonde utata wakhe. Ngapha koko, kungenxa yoku ukuba umbize kwaye ubangele, unyanzela utata ukuba abizwa ngokuba ngumntu obalaseleyo kuye. Ngobulumko ngakumbi ukuze umntwana wongeze kumtshato wakhe ongubani. Kwelinye icala, kuya kuba lula kakhulu kumntwana ongayi kuziva njengomngcatshi kuYise osemva komgangatho, kwaye owesibini - isibongozo ogama lincinci kakhulu ngotata otshatileyo. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, ukwakheka kakhulu kuye - emva kwayo yonke loo nto, nguye kusapho lomnyelo, apho sele kukho imikhwa yakhe, indlela yakhe yobomi, umntwana ... kunye nendoda , nkqu neyona inovelwano kwaye inenkathalo, iya kufuna ixesha ukuba liqhele kuyo yonke into. Kodwa ukuba ngequbuliso aqalise ukunyanzelisa isicelo somntwana "utata", qiniseka ukuba uyathetha naye kwaye ucaciswe ukuba kubalulekile ukuba uphucule abantwana kunye neyeyakhe.
Isiphumo somongameli
Rhoqo ngokukholisa ngokwabo bala eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekuvelisweni kweengquzulwano phakathi kolwakhethe phakathi kotata wontandathu kunye nomntwana. Kwaye impazamo yokuqala efumanekayo ifuthe lomangalo. Akukho meko akwenzi mntwana, nto leyo isenokuba yinto engathandekiyo - musa ukubeka umntwana ngaphambi kokufezekiswa.
Rhoqo, ibhinqa lifihla ulwalamano lwayo emntwaneni, ngakumbi ukuba ukwiminyaka enzima yokufikisa, ngokukholelwa ngempazamo ukuba kuya kuba ngcono. Unotshe. Ngapha koko, kutheni le nyaniso ivela emntwaneni efihla? Kuba umama ukrokrela ukuba ukwenzeka kweengxabano ezahlukeneyo kunokwenzeka.
Kodwa kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba awuyi kuba nakho ukuphepha ukungqubana nakweyiphi na imeko- kungekudala, kuya kufuneka wazise umntwana ukuba, uhlala kunye. Nangona kunjalo, enye ingxaki ngakumbi yongezwa kuzo zonke ezi ngxaki - ezona ngqulelo inamandla kuwe ngenxa yakhe ifihlakeleyo kuye.
Ke ngoko, zama ukubeka umntwana owazi umtshato ngaphambi kwexesha. Nangona kunjalo, kunjalo, lonke ixesha lakhe, kwaye baqhelene nomntwana owutshelweyo, kunyanzelekile ukuba ubudlelwane bakho bubaluleke kakhulu, kwaye izicwangciso zichanekile kwaye zichongiwe. Ngaphandle koko, emva komzuzwana - okwesithathu ukuthandana, umntwana uyakuyeka ukuqonda okungenani kubaluleke kakhulu.
Kwaye ngaphezulu. Zama ukungahlehli le ncoko yexesha elingenammiselo, kuba ngaphambilana ubeka umntwana ongekho sesikweni kwaye uphendule yonke imibuzo yakhe, ixesha elininzi uya kuba nexesha lokuba ahambe nalo na.
Intlanganiso yokuqala
Ihlala yenzeka rhoqo ukuba lo mfazi ukhokelela kwiqabane lakhe iqabane lakhe, ngaphandle kokwazisa umntwana wakhe. Nangona kunjalo, musa ukulibala ukuba ukufumana ekuseni kwigumbi lokuhlambela okanye ekhitshini lomntu wangaphandle, umntwana unokufumana olona lungelo lwengqondo. Kusisidenge kakhulu ngethemba lokuba umntwana uya kuyiqonda yedwa. Ke ngoko, ukuqhelana okokuqala komntwana onotata ophambili kwinguqulelo efanelekileyo kufuneka kwenzeke kwindawo engathathi hlangothi, kwelona xesha lihlaziyiweyo.
"Kwintlanganiso yokuqala yotata wotyelelo kunye nomntwana, ukuhamba kwi-cafe okanye i-theatre, ukuhamba ngepaki, ipikniki yendalo okanye uhambo lokuya kwiindawo ezintsha. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, iimvakalelo eziye zahlangabezana nazo zisondele kakhulu ebantwini. Kubalulekile ukujonga indlela umntwana awasabela ngayo, mnike ukuba athethe nelungu lentsapho yakho lodwa, fumana indlela ehambelana ngayo, "i-psychologist veravna yevalovna ye-valevnalov ikholelwa.
Ngendlela, uninzi lwengqondo lubambelela kwinto yokuba iintlanganiso ezinjalo kufuneka zibe zibini - ezintathu. Kwaye emva koko ungamema umntu ukuba azivelele okanye akhwele. Ngapha koko, kule meko, ixesha lokutyelelwa kufuneka linyuswe ngokuthe ngcembe de umntwana aqhele ukuqhelanisa ngokutsha kutata ophambili.
"Kwenzeka ukuba ukuqhelana nelungu losapho elitsha lidlula ngokulula kwaye ngaphandle kweentlungu, kuwo onke amanye amanye amanye amatyala ukusombulula iingxaki ezivele zifanele ziphathwe ngayo yonke ingqumbo noxanduva. Kwiimeko ezinzima, kungcono ukuguqukela kwi-psychologisty eya kukunceda wena kunye nomntwana wakho wakhe ubudlelwane onomdla kusapho. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, i-Psychology - umntu wesayensi umntu kunye nemeko nganye kufuneka isebenze ngokucwangcisiweyo, kwizinto ezikhoyo, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu - "itsho iVera valentinovna.