Ukuba ngumama ngexesha lethu yeyona nto iqhelekileyo. Ngaphezu koko, xa, ngenxa yezizathu ezahlukeneyo, ukuba lube lolokulala, ukuba akwenzeka konke, umfazi omncinci uya kuba nakho ukuphepha iimbono zovelwano kwaye nguloo nto iphosakeleyo kuye ". Ukuba ngunina kulungile kwaye kufanelekile. Kwangelo xesha, ukuba bube yinxalenye yokufezekiswa komfazi. Umhlaba uyatshintsha, kwaye uninzi lwabasetyhini bayazi ukuba imakhaya inkulu, kodwa ayisiyondawo yokuphila, engakwazi ukubuyekeza amanye amaqela awo. Ngokunjalo, kokukhona umfazi ophikisanayo, wabaleka wayakhe, kokukhona abantwana bakhe behlawula obungathanga. Imizekelo yelo xesha: ngenxa yokusilela kukamama kwezemfundo, ezemidlalo, ubuchule bokuhamba ebusuku, ukuphelisa iimgs, izikolo kunye namaziko. Zonke zinemvakalelo enkulu yokuziva unetyala kwaye zingabha intlawulo zikhule ngoomama abaye baxele ukukhuliswa kwabakhulizekileyo kubantwana ekuphela kwentsingiselo yobukho babo.
Kodwa kungekudala, abantwana bakhulile kwaye bashiye abazali babo, le yinkqubo eqhelekileyo yendalo. Ke abazali, kwaye umama ahlangabezana nengxaki ebizwa ngokuba "yi-syndrome eshiyekileyo". Eli linqanaba xa abazali bebona ukuwa okunamandla kubunini babo obubizwa ngokuba "ndinguma mama". Kwaye ukuba andingumama, njengoko wawusoloko ubalela iminyaka emininzi, ndingubani na ngelo xesha? Ukuba umfazi uzimisele ngomama, ophantsi kobomi bakhe kwintsingiselo ethile kunye neenjongo, xa kwaba sisibini, njani ukwakha ubomi ngoku? Owona mbuzo unamandla nonomdla kakhulu. Malunga neli phupha le-heroine yethu yanamhlanje:
"Sikunye nentombi yam yabantu abadala kweli nye ilizwe, behamba ngebhasi neqela. Ngequbuliso, usapho luyeza kwiqela nomntwana omncinci, ndicela ukuba ndihlale naye. Umntwana, iminyaka yam, ndamnyamekela ngovuyo. Ekugqibeleni, beza abazali bakhe, bamthabatha umntwana, ndakhangela iqela lam, ntombi yam, kodwa andifumani mntu. Ndiyaqonda ukuba baya kwisikhululo seenqwelomoya, bapasile ukubuyela ekhaya. Ndidinga ukubafumana, ndibamba. Ndizama ukumisa imoto, kodwa akukho mntu uyema, ndindigculela kwiifestile zemoto. Ndibaleka uhola wendlela, ngandlela thile ndididekile ngokupheleleyo, ndiyaqonda ukuba ndifikile ukuba ndifike kade ukubaleka, andinalo ixesha. I-Darks, iyothusa kakhulu, kwaye akukho namnye onokundizisa ukuze ndigoduke. "
Iphupha lamaphupha ethu lithetha naye malunga nendlela yokutsiba ngokulula kwindima ye "mimmies." Olu vuyo lube ne-encinci kuncinci. Uthanda nje oko, akukho sidingo sokubonisa umntu kwaye uzame ukuba ngcono. Mntwana, ngakumbi incinci- le yindoda encinci ngaphandle kokulindelwa kuwe. Into ephambili ecaleni kwaye ikhathalelwe. Ke ngoko, kulula kakhulu ukucima ezinye iinkalo zobomi kwaye uzinikele ngokupheleleyo kubantwana. Nangona kunjalo, iphupha lephupha alikho ngolu vuyo. Ibonisa ukuba eli xesha lilungiselelwe. Yintoni ukuba abe ngumama kwaye abe ngumakhulu, njengakwimeko yakhe, yinxalenye yobomi. Ukubonisa le nto, ungalahleka kwaye ungabuyeli ekhaya, oko kukuthi, ngokwakho, kwiinjongo zakho, izicwangciso, imisebenzi. Ukulala kuyayityhala ukuze ubambelele ngakumbi, kwaye hayi kwindima kagogo. Ukuzincama ngokwakho kukwakwazi ukunyanzelisa eyakho, kwanaxa abo bajikeleze oku ngengcikivo. Umzekelo, ukuya, xa abantwana abadala bacela ukuba bahlale nabazukulwana. Mhlawumbi ukuhlawula ixesha le-suede ukusuka kwixesha ukuya kumaphupha, ahlehliswa kwibhokisi ende: ukuba ahlawulele, adibane nabahlobo, adibane nabahlobo, ade afumane umsebenzi omtsha.
Ngendlela, akukho mntu uthe oko kuya kugonyelwa kwimbumbulu ngento yokuba abantwana bakhule kwaye bayishiya ikhaya labazali, babiza abantwana babo kwaye kunqabile ukuba babize abantwana babo. Kodwa ocanda kumfazi ovuthiweyo wemisebenzi yakhe yobomi, eyomeleleyo iyakwazi ukubamba, kuya kufuneka kutyunyuzelwe ukuba umntu akakho.
Ndiyazibuza ukuba uphupha ntoni? Thumela amaphupha akho kunye nemibuzo nge-imeyile [email protected].
UMaria Dyachkova, ugqirha wezengqondo, ugqirha wosapho kunye noqeqesho olukhokelayo kwiZiko loQeqsho loQhulelo loQeqesho lweMarika Khazin