Kutheni le nto amanye amantombazana engenakufumana iqabane? Nditsho ndilungile kwaye ndiphumelele? Awunakuvumelana nezimvo zethu zeengcali. Nje ukuba sixoxe ubudlelwane, emva koko iingcali zimbini - umzimba-we-psychotherapist, umqeqeshi ngenjongo ye-Ilya Baretsev kunye ne-RPT-Prepport-Port-Pentral Pentre, uMqeqeshi woPhuculo lwe-Irina Shekunova.
Irina: Kutshanje, ndiye ndaqala ukuqaphela ukuba kukho amantombazana amaninzi andingekela ekukhetheni iqabane. Umzekelo, kukho, masibize ngemeko, lena. U-Lenna udibana no-Oleg, uthanda indlela ajongeka ngayo ngendlela aziphethe ngayo, wayeyimmangalela ebhedini, kodwa kwangaxeshanye uyayithanda iVanya, eyaphula ngaphezulu konyaka odlulileyo. Kwaye nokuba i-oleg elungileyo kangakanani, ayinamvakalelo kuye, owu, ewe, ngandlel 'ithile ayinamdlanga kuye, ithetha ngenye into. Kwaye kukho i-Koya. I-Kohls ilumkile. I-Kohl ichwayitile. Kwaye uLena ngamanye amaxesha uyahlangana naye, evakalelwa yindlala yengqondo, engakwaziyo ukwanelisa u-Olegi.
Irina Shekunova - I-RPT-PERT-PORAPOSTE, UMQEQESHO WOPHUHLISO LOMFANEKISO
Ucinga ntoni, kutheni usenzeka kwaye kutheni kunzima kangaka ukudibanisa yonke into emntwini omnye? Ukusuka kubahlobo bam abangamadoda, ndeva ukuba banayo ingxaki efanayo nokhetho, kunye nathi, abafazi: nokuba yinkanuko enkulu okanye unxibelelwano olunomdla. Ucinga ukuba injani ixhunyiwe?
I-ITO: Kuluntu lwethu, kulisiko ukucinga ukuba amadoda zizidalwa ezigwebayo. Iimvakalelo kunye neemvakalelo-zebuthathaka yebuthathaka. Kwaye indlela eya entliziyweni yomntu ilele esiswini. Oko kukwaneliseka kweemfuno zomzimba, kunye nezesondo kubandakanya. Umfazi-ukupheka ekhitshini, ihenyukazi ebhedini. Sonke besiyiva kwenye indawo, ngandlela thile. Kwaye iimvakalelo zamadoda azinakwenzeka. Kwaye ke kwavela, engenakwenzeka - ifuna ngokwenene. Ke ngoko, amadoda afumana abafazi abakwenzayo iimvakalelo zabo, banelise ihiliwanga ehonjisiweyo. Emva koko bakhwaza ngovuyo kumanenekazi abo: "Yekani Tr ... b ingqondo!" Kodwa wazinyula. Gwenxa. Vala kwaye umamele! Sisoloko sikhetha amaqabane ngenxa yentsilelo, xa kukho into engekhoyo. Ngaphandle kokucinga kamva, ukuba naye (kunye naye) kuya kufuneka athethe ngento, ukubonisa abahlobo. Kwaye iingxaki kwezi ngxaki zentlalo zichaphazela ngqo ibhedi. Kodwa nje ukuba ukufumanisa ukuba umntu udibana nazo zonke iiparameter xa ihormones yabetha intloko. Mhlawumbi unohlobo okanye ucinga ngale nto?
Ilya Bearetsev - Isithili se-Psychotherapist, umqeqeshi wokuphunyezwa kwenjongo
Irina: Uyazi, kubonakala kum ukuba ukuphakama kwesakhono sokuziva kunye nokwazi ngeemfuno zabo eziyinyani, kokukhona kunokwenzeka ukuba ukhethe ukhetho olufanelekileyo. Ungawahlula njani i-Hormones, eqhelekile ngokupheleleyo kwaye yendalo xa sifumanisa ecaleni kwento ebonakalayo yesini esahlukileyo, kwiimfuno zabo zokwenyani? Kuyimfuneko ukuba uphendule ngokunyaniseka imibuzo: "Ndingubani?", "Ndifuna ntoni?". Kwaye ke impendulo yombuzo: "Ndingayifumana njani?" - Kukho ngokwakho. Ndidinga ixesha elininzi lokufunda indlela yokuqonda kwaye ndifunde ukwahlula iimpembelelo zakho zangaphakathi. Kwaye kungekuphela nje ngokwahlula kubo, kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu - ukubathemba. Ukuthembela kuye kukhokelela ekufundeni nasekuthatheni ukhetho alwenzekileyo, kunye nentembeko yeqabane. Kukuthini, luluvo lwakho, ukhetho lomntu luqala njani ekuhambeni koobani?
I-ITO: Dibana neempahla azizindaba. Ngokuchanekileyo, ngenkangeleko. Kwaye kukho umgaqo wokuba "ndikujonge, njengasesipili", okanye "ukugcwalisa" imfuzo yethu yemfuza.
Ndinempumlo ye-humpback? Kwaye ndikhangela umntu oqhelekileyo. Uninzi lokungenisa umntu obuhlungu. Kwaye ke abantwana bethu baya kusixelela ukuba sinkosi ngokusindisa ugqirha weplastiki. Ukuba awuyeki kwinani elikhulu lamacandelo okhetho lokuqala, yonke into inokuthi yenziwe lula kwi-vall "i-pullls - hayi ukutsala." Kwaye batsala ezo ziphoso zokuzalwa emzimbeni.
Masithi udibene naye. Kwaye uthile ngandlela thile wayithatha ipasigama kwikhowudi yakho yemfuza. Umzimba uthi: "Ewe." Esi sisitshixo sokuba uhambisa owona mzimba usandula ukutshata. Ngaphandle koko, hlala ekhaya. Ngoku ibalulekile: Ukunxibelelana ngokweemvakalelo kunye nokusondela. Kubonakala ngathi kuyandonwabisa kunye. Iimvakalelo zithi: "Ewe." Uthi: "Siye kum." "Yeka! Andinguye otyhafileyo! Ndikubone ngomso, mhlawumbi uMnu! "
Walibala ngentloko yakhe. Uye 'uthatha inxaxheba "kubudlelwane. Apha kunye nemibono ngekamva, kunye nokoyika ukuba yonke into iza kusebenza, "okokugqibela." Intloko ithi: "Hayi!" Amaziko akazange avume- ukhetho lwenzelwa. Kwaye sixela ibhinqa lomlingo eliqonda ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuyo kuwo onke amanqanaba.
Ebomini, abaninzi bayalibala ukuba banentloko, iimvakalelo kunye nomzimba, ukwenza ukhetho lwento enye. Ekuphela kwendlela yokuphuma kule ngxaki kukunikela ixesha lokuqonda ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kum ukwenza ukhetho olululo luya kwanelisa lonke iziko amathathu.