Sifuna ukuthanda amadoda, sithandwa, sibangela ukuncoma. Ngamanye amaxesha kubonakala-oku kuyakwenzeka, kwaye ndiya konwaba. Kodwa apha isizathu kunye nesiphumo zididekile. Okokuqala kufuneka uzithande, kungenjalo akukho nto izakwenzeka. Emva kwayo yonke loo nto, akukho mntu uya kusinika ubudlelwane obuhle kunawe.
Ukungazithandi kusenziwa ebuntwaneni. Okwangoku xa umntwana ebona umhlaba uphela emzali, ubudlelwane kunye nomzali luphawu lobudlelwane behlabathi kunye nesiseko sengqondo yabo. Kumde kwaye kubanda kakhulu abazali, ezona zinzima ukuzifumana zikhule. Sababo bonke abantwana kwaye siyikhumbule indlela ababaluleke ngayo kwaye efuna ukuviwa, evaliwe, exabisekile. Ukuze ukoyikeka kobumnyama akubangeli bunzima kubazali ukuze iinyembezi ngenxa yokuba amakhwenkwe akazange afezekiswe kukuncipha nasekukhuliseni. Sonke, ngaphandle kokukhetha, ufuna uthando lwabazali kunye ne-caress, ubuncinci ukuze ufumane uthando lothando.
Ukufudumala kwabazali, izincomo, ikratshi, inkxaso ngumhlaba wokuzithemba komntwana, isimo sakhe sengqondo ngaye, isimo sakhe sehlabathi. Apho umhlaba unomkhenkce okanye ungabikho kwaphela, akukho nto iya kukhula. Apho kwabakho kakhulu, ngokuzityebileyo, ngokutyeba umntwana umntwana okhulileyo owazi ngexabiso kwaye akukho namnye, oyena mntu unobuqhophololo kakhulu, akasayi kuphulukana naye ukholo lwakhe.
I-PSCHOLOLOGISISH I-ALENA AL-AS
Izizathu zokungafaniyo zinokuba ngandlela ithile. Umzekelo:
Ingqesho yabazali, ukudinwa kwabo, ukuluma ngokuchasene nale meko, ukumka emntwaneni, kumenze imvakalelo yokuphembelela, kungafuneki. Ndifuna ukuvala;
-Ukugculela abazali besini esahlukileyo behlala bebangela iingxaki ekwazi bona nakwisini;
- Umona kubantwana abancinci okanye umama, i-arsurst yokufudukela "omdala", ezikhulisa uloyiko kwindoda, ubutshaba nomntu omdala. Ukusuka apha kwaye "ndingu-18", umnqweno oqhubekayo ubonakala emncinci;
- Thelekisa abazali kunye nabantu abangabamelwane, apho bangcono khona, ubuhle, buhle ngakumbi. Le migangatho engahambelaniyo ibangela i-puberlated yasendle kwaye izama ukungqina, "Ngubani obonayo apha", okanye kwi-syndrome yenkuthazo, okanye engabikho kwinkuthazo ", kutheni le nto imbi?";
-I-hyperopya yabazali abukhokeleli kwinto elungileyo. Ukuhamba okukhulu, amancinci amancinci kukho amathuba okuphila ngokwabo, nangona aphile amagqabi anamava.
Nokuba yonke into ihamba kakuhle entsatsheni, abazali babenemfesane, banikela ingqalelo kwaye balandela i-round, kwaye siyabumba i-microclimotion yeNdlu, siyabulandela, kwaye oontanga bethu baphenjelelwa yigadi yethu, isikolo, emsebenzini.
Ulwalamano lokuqala, ukuzama ukwakha into ethile, ayisoloko ikhokelela kwimpumelelo kwaye ihlala iphelela ngentliziyo eyaphukileyo, ukuphoxeka kwaye isokola. Ngaphandle kwayo yonke le nto, kuya kufuneka uqonde ukuba nawaphi na amava kubalulekile kwaye uxabisekile, kuyafuneka ukuba ube ngumlingani wakho kunye nobuntu bakho kwaye ngubani na owaziyo amagxa akho.
Funda ukuzithanda kubalulekile kwaye ufuna nakuphi na ubudala. Ngo-20, ngo-40 nangaphezulu, ukwakha ubudlelwane kunye nabo ngegalelo elifanelekileyo kunye nomsebenzi oluncedo. Ngenxa yokuba akukho mdaniso wam, ndiyakuthanda, ngokuqinisekileyo ayiyi kuba ngumsebenzi, ubudlelwane, ayoyi kuba yile nto bayiphuphayo. Kuba ukungathandi ngokwabo kukuncamathela okhanyayo nombhalo "Andikufanelekeli kweli" kanye ebunzini.
Ungazithanda njani?
Xolela. Bazali ngenxa yokubanda kwabo, bazalwana ngenxa yokugculelwa, iintombi zokumpompa, uthando lokuqala lommese ngasemva. Hlala kwaye usebenze isiqendu ngasinye esithetha iintlungu. Kude, kodwa kuyasebenza. Ungalibali, unganyanisekanga, ungabuyi rhoqo ixesha engqondweni "kodwa ndiza", kodwa ndixole;
- Thatha umzimba wakho. Ngobunzima obukhulu, kunye neempazamo, kunye ne-hubber kwimpumlo okanye ngemilebe encinci, ukukhula okuphantsi okanye zezandla ezinkulu - nguwe. Ukuze uphumelele, unciphise ubunzima okanye ube yindawo yezemidlalo, kuya kufuneka uzithabathele ngokwakho ngoku, kwaye uvele kuthando ukuze uphuculwe, kwaye hayi kwinzondo kwaye ungakhathali.
Ukwamkelwa ngokutsha kunye nokuziphucula ubuxoki kwiinqwelomoya ezahlukeneyo: Ungaphuculwa ngokungapheliyo, kodwa awuzamkeli. Kwaye ungathatha kwaye ungafezekanga. Yiza esipilini kwaye uzenze ukhokele ngokuvakalayo. Isithembiso sokuncuma amaxesha ali-10 ngemini. "Ubudenge, andizange ndizinyanzele ukuba ndincume," ucinga ukuba isiqalo kuya kufuneka sikwenze ngohlobo "Kulungile hlobo luni lwento engento?" Kwaye fumana izizathu ezizezinye. Emva koko ungene uye kulo mkhwa;
-Chenga imvakalelo yokuziva unetyala. Thatha umthetho: "Yintoni egqithileyo, ihlala isemva." Ukurhoxisa okungapheliyo entloko, kwiincoko zolwakhiwo, ukudlala iimeko, i-fantasy ngesihloko: "Kuya kwenzeka ntoni ukuba ...". " Shiya ngaphambili.
Unelungelo lokwenza impazamo- le yinto eqhelekileyo. Akunyanzelekanga ukuba uzithethelele nabani na ngeempazamo zakho. Vumela ukuba ungafezekanga;
-Angazithelekise kwaye ungalindi uvavanyo lwabanye. Sukwenza into kuba umama (okanye omnye umntu) indumiso. Ewe, awuzange uyifumane ebuntwaneni, kodwa ngoku awukanyanzelekanga ukuba uguquke ngokulindeleka kwilindelo lokuvuma. Unokuba nobuchule okanye ngaphezulu kwesidenge, unethamsanqa okanye hayi kunaye umntu. Onke amabali abo, idatha yabo yoqobo kwaye akukho ziphelo zabantu zizalisayo;
-Chinga indumiso. Rhoqo, ukuncoma komfazi ukuqala: "Ewe, ewe, yilahleko, i-makep elungileyo." Ngaba wenza i-connent? Enkosi. Kunzima ukuba abantu baphume kwiqokobhe kwaye, ukuba uyadumisa, ukuba uyamthanda kwaye uthethe ngokwakhe wenze amanyathelo okuqala. "Musa ukubethe izandla" kwaye ungabonisi izikreqo zakho-banokuba nawe, uyazi ngayo, kodwa onokuqaphela.
Khumbula ukuba awunakufumana nantoni na kuba awuyonto, kodwa kuba namhlanje unethamsanqa. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba ayizukubuya ngomso. Zithande kwaye wamkele indlela inyani yokuba ufanele ubudlelwane obulungileyo, uthando kunye nokukhathalela