Abazali bahlala bekhathazekile ngabantwana babo, nokuba iminyaka mingaphi yenzekile. Kodwa kancinci malunga nobomi bomntwana obangela imibuzo emininzi kangaka kunye nemincili njengexesha lokukhula. Kufanelekile ukuqonda inyani ebonakalayo: Bambalwa abazali abalungele ubunzima obuvela ekunxibelelaneni nomntwana okwishumi elivisayo.
Le meko iyinkimbinking 'ingqalelo yokuba wonke umntu ovuthiweyo - kwaye ngokwakhe okwishumi elivisayo, aze akhumbule indlela ekubonakala ukuba kuya kubonakala ukuba onke amazwi neengcebiso zabo azincedi, kodwa iphazamisa kuphela. I-Paradox: Siyazi indlela ekunzima ngayo ukuba ngumntwana ofikisayo, kodwa asinakubanceda njani abantwana bakho okwishumi elivisayo. Asazi ukuba njani.
Rhoqo unokuva iingcebiso: nokuba umntwana wakho, uyayibona njengelinganayo, kwaye yonke into izakulunga. Kodwa ngokuziqhelanisa, ezi ngcebiso azisebenzi kakuhle kwaye ziya kunyaniseka, ayisoloko isebenza. Okokuqala, umzali kunye nomntwana yinto engekho kwindawo elinganayo, kwaye le yindalo. Okwesibini, ungabahlobo njani nomntwana ofikisayo, ukuba lonke igama lakho abonayo kwi-bayonets? Ngaba ikhona indlela yokuphuma? Nantsi lapho.
Into yokuqala ebalulekileyo ekufuneka ikhumbule ukuba ngumzali ngamnye imalunga nomsebenzi wakhe ophambili - ukulungiselela umntwana umntu omdala, ubomi obuzimeleyo. Ukujamelana ngempumelelo ngalo msebenzi, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuba ngumcebisi onengqondo, onobulumko kunabahlobo. Bambalwa abantwana abafuna ubuhlobo babazali, kodwa oko bakufunayo kukufika ngokuziphatha, ekwiqela, eGunyeni. Umzali ngokunxulumene nomntwana uhlala ema endaweni engaphezulu, kubalulekile ukusebenzisa esi sikhundla ngengqondo.
Ungaze uthathe isigqibo kwanto kwaye ungathethi nomntwana ukuba uyacaphuka okanye unomsindo kuyo. Ukuba kule ngcaciso imfutshane uziva ngathi awunakuphendula ngokungqongqo kumagama okanye ngezenzo zomntwana okwishumi elivisayo, thatha ikhefu. Sukuvavanya amagama kunye nezenzo zomntwana njengamagama kunye nezenzo zomdala. Ulutsha luhlala lungazi nje kuphela, kodwa nemfundo yasebanweni, imfundo, kunye noku kungabikho, zihlala zibonisa indlela abaziphethe ngayo. Cinga ukuba yintoni engekhoyo kumntwana wakho.
Chitha ixesha elininzi kunye
Ifoto: HARTAHH.USPUS.com.
Ukunxibelelana nomntwana okwishumi elivisayo kubaluleke kakhulu ukumva. Umntwana ofikisayo awunyamezeli umntwana kwaye ufuna ukuphathwa kuye. Kubalulekile ukuba umzali efikeleleke kakhulu kubantu abadala, kwaye umthendeleko ngokwawo wawukhuselekile kumntwana ofikisayo. Oku akuthethi ukuba uMama notata mabamamele umntwana ngabo bonke kwaye bavumelane naye. Abazali kufuneka benze ukuba umntwana athethe ngokukhuselekileyo, athobele ukuba uya kuviwa. Okokuqala, ngaloo ndlela uya kuba uyazi izinto ezininzi ozikhathazayo umntwana wakho, kwaye okwesibini, uvakalisa ngokuvakalayo, umntwana uya kufumana ithuba lokuziva. Ukucinga ngokufihlakeleyo nayiphi na ingcinga kwaye uthethe ngayo malunga ne-dismahluko omkhulu. Rhoqo, "ukushiya ukukhanya", umbono awusabonakali kangaka, kwaye umntwana uyayiqonda ngokwakhe.
Ingxaki enkulu yokuba abazali bahlala beqonda ukuba umntwana unokuba nelungelo lokunganikeli abazali kuzo zonke iingcinga nemicimbi yayo. Kubonakala ngathi kuyinto ebuthathaka kakhulu, njengoko umntu okwishumi elivisayo uya kwenza into engalunganga. Kodwa kungekudala, ngamnye wethu kufuneka afunde kwiimpazamo zabo, kwaye akukacacanga ukukhusela kulo mntwana. Kuya kufuneka unike inkundla ethile kwishumi elinanye. Eyona ndima ibaluleke kakhulu kweli nqanaba iya kudlalwa ngokukhuliswa kunye nezikhokelo zokuziphatha okwazile ukumnika umntwana wakho. Ngaba ufuna umntu okwishumi elivisayo ukuba abe noxanduva, onyanisekileyo, onwabe, onwabile? Umzekelo, umzekelo, ukukhuthaza amaxabiso ofuna ukutyalela imali emntwaneni wakho.
Enye yezona ngxaki zibalulekileyo zabemi abafikisayo kukungaqiniseki. Sukufumana ecaleni kwabo baqokelela iimfanelo kunye neempawu zonyana wakho okanye intombi yakho, ndikholelwe, ebomini babo kwaye ngaphandle kwakho kuya kubakho abantu abaninzi abanjalo. Yazisa ingqalelo yakho kumaxesha amnandi. Oku akuthethi ukuba kufuneka udumise umntwana kwaye ngaphandle, kuthetha ukuba umntwana wakho ufanele azi ngamandla akhe. Kufuneka umxelele ngazo.
Yiba ziinyani. Ewe ungumzali, akukho mntu umaziyo umntwana wakho njengoko uyazi. Kodwa oku akuthethi ukuba uyazi yonke into kwaye wazi eyona ilungileyo. Kuvuyela iimpazamo zakho, ngamava amnandi kuwe, nakwishumi elivisayo. Eyona nto ifunekayo ilinde kuwe nakwabanye, kunjalo ke yinkqubela phambili, hayi imfezeko.
Lixabise ixesha elichithwe nabantwana, kwaye zama ukucwangcisa imicimbi yosapho. Nokuba ngoku okwishumi elivisayo bakho banxulumene namaphulo adibeneyo kwi-cinema okanye ukupheka isidlo sangokuhlwa, qiniseka: kwixesha elizayo ngokuqinisekileyo uya kuba nombulelo ongazenzisiyo. Ixesha lakho sesona sipho sibalaseleyo onokuzenzela abantwana bakho. Kwaye zama ukungaphumi kakuhle. Ngamanye amaxesha ihlaya lelona nyango lihle loxinzelelo.