Impuguke mu butegetsi kuri psychologiya y'abagabo, gutoza ku mubano w'intare ya LeSevatov mu gitabo cye gishya "BDSM: imana ku muntu we. Kubona, gukurura, igikundiro, "gitanga inama zingenzi kubagore, uburyo bwo gutekereza no gukora muburyo bushya, bashaka umunezero nubwenge, bwiza.
Ingamba "Gukunda - Gusunika" . Iyi niyo ngamba zingenzi kumugore uwo ari we wese. Iyi ni ingamba zubuzima, kandi ni ngombwa gutunga muburyo butunganye. Byose mubuzima bwumugore - haba kwigunga, cyangwa ubuzima burebure kandi bwishimye bushingiye kuri iyi ngamba.
Noneho. Icyiciro cya mbere - Kubagore. Yego, kandi yego na none yego! Indabyo ikurura bumblebe igaragara hamwe na isura yayo, kuko bumblebee itazaguruka inyenzi. Kubwibyo, birakenewe kuba indabyo. Ntibishoboka gukurura umuntu umwe wafashwe, ntabwo ari ugushimira abagabo benshi.
Abagore bose bakunda imvugo: "Umugabo agomba kuba umuhigi, reka ankore." Kuri bamwe, iyi myanya idashidika ihinduka interuro yubuzima. Nta kibazo. Reka dukemure.
Ishyamba rero. Umuhigi ufite imbunda anyura mu gutwika. Mu buryo butunguranye, mu buryo butunguranye kubera igiti cya Noheri, Bunny yagaragaye. Amatwi yazunguye, umurizo wa rotator. Umuhigi yavuze (Aha!) Yiruka inyuma ye. Mugihe bahunze, gutsinda inzitizi muburyo bwimizabibu, umwobo, ibiti byamenetse. Kurwana igihe cyose mbonye urukwavu imbere yanjye. Hare akimara kubura - umuhigi yarahagaze. Bunny yongeye kugaragara mubikorwa bitaziguye bivuye mu muhigi, kandi isiganwa ryakomeje.
Niba urukwavu rumaze kugaragara muri kilometero uvuye mu muhigi ku gihungo, guhiga bizarangira vuba nk'uko byatangiye, kubera ubudaco bw'ikirere.
Iki nigisubizo cyikigereranyo kuri abo bakobwa binubira ko gitunguranye umugabo arashira cyane. Cyangwa birashoboka ko yamenye ko uri kure ye?
Garuka mu gukurikirana. Kunesha ifu ya Tantalum, umuhigi aracyafata urukwavu, amufashe yitonze mu ntoki. Amarade y'agaciro, ku gice cya kabiri cy'ishyamba yagombaga kwiruka n'amaguru mu maraso.
Niki gukora kugirango umugabo ahige?
Noneho ibyawe no kubagabo. Ibintu byose ukunda kimwe kimwe no muribigize byasobanuwe haruguru. Kugira ngo uwo mugabo atangira guhiga, akeneye kwerekana ko (yitondera!) Hariho amahirwe. Kandi abakobwa benshi banyura mu mihanda bakinyanye ko batinya kubegera!
Ni iki kibera mu mitwe y'abagore benshi? "Noneho, hano birakwiye, birakonje cyane, none iki? Nanjye ndakonje! Ashobora kuba atekereza ko abagore bose bafite ibirenge ?! PFF, ikindi kintu! Yego, niba atekereza ko, niba ameze neza, sinkeka ko, nta bidasanzwe, nzamuha igitero, nzokwitwaza ko atanshimishije. Reka akure kandi azatangira kunyageraho! Hanyuma abagabo bamaze gushyira byose! Bamenyereye kubuntu! Hano muri Amerika ... "
Ariko amaherezo, ntakintu kibaho. Kandi byose kuko twe, abagabo, imbabazi, ibicucu. Ibi biragoye kuri twe!
Abagabo bakunda? Kumwenyura - birakenewe kwegera no kumenyana, ntabwo ndamwenyura - sinabikunze, nzava hano. Hano turoroshye.
UMURONGO ICYITONDERWA YANDITSWE "Chase":
Icyiciro cya 1 - Gukurura.
Icyiciro cya 2 - Umugabo yitwaye kandi akururwa.
Icyiciro cya 3 - Shyira.
Icyiciro cya 4 - cyongeye gukurura.
Icyiciro cya 5 - Umugabo utsindira inzitizi kandi ikundana.
Wasohotse kumuhanda umugoroba mwiza wo kuwa gatanu. Mu mbaga y'abahinyura nyakwigendera neza hamwe nuburyo buhebuje (gukurura!) Abagabo 100 barabonye.
Muri iyi × 100, bahisemo kwegera no guhura 15. Muri iyi × 15 ya kane, washimishijwe. Mugihe waganiriye no gusezerana, byumvise imyumvire yawe myiza no koroshya itumanaho (gukurura!).
Mu gushyikirana nawe, numvaga ari ikintu muburyo budasanzwe. Umurambo watangiye kugaburira ibimenyetso by'ubwonko - birakonje, ntabwo ari tupi. Ubwonko kandi butangazwa no gushyikirana bishimishije (kurwanya amateka yabandi bakobwa), kandi yihuta cyane atanga ibimenyetso kugirango agikomeze kumenyera, ugereranije, harimo nibikorwa byabagabo.
Umugabo arashaka guhamagara no kuganira, ariko urashidikanya gato (kwangwa!), Kandi hari ibirori byo gutakaza umukobwa ushimishije kugaragara, bigenda byiyongera cyane agaciro kawe muriki gihe. Nyuma yigihe runaka, umugabo aracyabona umubano wawe kandi akaganira inama. Wasezeraga, ariko kuba yaragombaga gutsinda mucyiciro cya mbere, wongeyeho uburyo uri mwiza (igitsina gore, byoroshye) kuyobora. Umugabo aragutekereza mugihe utari. Arahangayitse. Impungenge. Imizingo yaziranye. Kugerageza kubona mumiyoboro rusange, ibintu byose birakomera kandi bikomeye mu rukundo, tutabizi. Nibyiza, noneho - byinshi.
Kuki ikora?
Tuzahugura rwose ubu buryo (gukururwa, kandi uzabona uburyo byoroshye kandi bigira akamaro. Mfite ibirenze ibirenze kubabaza impamvu? Kandi imikorere nk'iyo ituruka he? Igisubizo nticyahatiwe gutegereza igihe kirekire - iyi nicyitegererezo gisanzwe. Nubwo bimeze bityo, abantu ni inyamaswa, nubwo imibereho, kandi mbere na mbere dufite imyifatire, hanyuma ibindi byose.
Kubwibyo, mubijyanye n'imibanire, inyigisho z'abagore, erners hamwe n'imyitwarire bagira uruhare rwa kabiri. Ni ngombwa cyane ko umuntu yumva iyo uri hafi.
Ndabona, ufite ibibazo, kandi usoma byose witonze! Icyo gukora, kugirango amahanwa yahise yumva uburebure kuri wewe akabona?
Yoo, ibyiza byanjye, uzabyigaho nyuma gato, kandi tuzasubira muri ubu buryo buhebuje bwo gukora kurundi ruhande. Noneho sobanukirwa gusa na Mechanism ya swing (gukurura / gusunika), ibuka kandi wige kubona ibyo bigaragarira mubuzima.
Nibyo, ndabyumva, kugirango nkoreshe umwanya wawe ukora byibuze bidasanzwe. Ariko birakwiye gusa guhura na psychologiya yabagabo, kandi ubwoba buzatangira kugabanuka. Reba ubwanjye!
Gukora vs Passive
Guhura: Uyu ni Nikolai, afite imyaka 40, nyir'umuryango wa resitora i Moscou, nashakaga umugore mushya.
- Nikolay, mbwira uwaki umugore ukeneye, kugiti cyawe? Ariko ntitukavuge kubyerekeye isura, ariko kubyerekeye ishingiro.
- Ninde nshaka umugore? Nabonye ko ubuzima bwari bukiriho, neza, niba atari intambara, noneho urugamba. Kurwanira umutungo, ku munsi w'izuba. Kandi akenshi muri uru rugamba i nk'igice cyo kurwana no kwangiza. Ibi biranyeganyega. Abahesha abanyamasezerano barahageze, isosiyete iratandukana, inshuti yahemukiwe, gusenyuka kw'ikirenge kuri siporo, n'ibindi hamwe na ba rwiyemezamirimo bacu, ibintu byose ntabwo buri gihe bitera kandi byoroshye. Ibinyuranye, dutsinda iteka ryose binyuze mumaraso, ibyuya ndetse no kurira. Kandi hano, imvugo ngendaptoric, naguye kumavi imwe kurugamba, yose mumaraso. Armon yakubiswe, ariko igikomere nticyica. Umugore wanjye yiruka hano ati: "Mana, mbega ubwoba, uko! Nibyiza, ufite iherezo ryiteka! Nibyiza, nkwiye gukora iki ??? Ndumiwe, maraso aragenda! Navuguruye gusa Manicure! Kandi muri rusange, sinzi icyo gukora mubihe nkibi! Buri gihe umbabaje! Kwitegereza n'ibibazo byanjye! Ndashaka ubuzima bwumuryango! "
Nkuko nzabyitekereza, guhita uhinda umushyitsi bifata. Oya, sinshaka ibi. Ndashaka kimwe, nubwo kuba mwiza kandi ufite igitsina, mugihe gito ashobora gufata imashini iremereye kandi azarasa kugeza igihe nzabyuka ndeka.
Kandi umugore uzaba, nkaho hari ... emmm ... arimo kuzunguruka mururimi ... hamwe numwanya ukora mubuzima, muri! Niba, iyo uhuye hanyuma ugashyikirana, ndabona pasiporo, ndumva ko uyu ari ubuzima bwose busigaye. Umugore ukora arambwira ati: "Nanjye ubwanjye ncunga ubuzima bwanjye nhitamo abo bantu ndashaka kuvuga mubuzima. Nshinzwe umunezero wanjye! Kandi ni byiza! Ndumva rero ko umugore azi neza. Numuntu mukuru, ntabwo ari uruhinja, nurwego rwamazisi hejuru yabandi benshi. Nzayoborwa mu muryango, ariko nibiba ngombwa, azakemura ikibazo ku ivuriro ry'umwana wacu, azazana amahitamo y'ibiruhuko mu biruhuko, mugihe nfunguye akazi, kandi nzigaragaza muyindi mirima. Iyi ntabwo ari igipupe cyiza gusa gifite iminwa yinkongo, ni umushyitsi, umuntu wuzuye.
- Cool! Kandi ni iki uvuga ko abagore batinya gukora bagategereza ikirere mu nyanja, baravuga bati: Ndi umukobwa!
- Ibyo nzabivuga: Twebwe, abantu bo mubucuruzi, burigihe reba ingufu cyangwa kubura imbaraga kumuntu. Urashobora kuba pasiporo, ariko mugihe kimwe cyuzuyemo ishami. Nabonye uko ibintu bimeze mu cyumweru gishize: Umugore yagiye muri resitora yacu, yicara kumeza atangira guhitamo ikintu muri menu. Namwitegereje, kandi ntiyabyihanganira. Ariko mbega ukuntu! Ntabwo washyinguwe gusa mubyanditswe, ahubwo urebye mumaso yanjye, noneho hari ukuntu bacecetse kandi, bihutira, bitwikira mu maso imikindo ye. Byari byiza cyane! Birumvikana ko naregereye guhura, ariko ikibabaje nuko yarubatse. Passive? Kumugaragaro yego! Ariko icyarimwe yuzuyemo imbaraga zumugore. Kandi ntibishoboka ko tutabyumva. "
Kandi dore ibitekerezo byatanzwe nabahwitse! Ariko ndumva iki? Hagarara! Iri jwi ni irihe? Byinshi, ijwi! Ijwi ribi cyane!
"Abakobwa, ntibamwumve, ni iki ku bikorwa bitameze neza? Niba umugabo ubwe ntacyo yakoze mbere, ntiyashakaga kandi kwerekana umuntu akabihuma. Mbega byinshi! Ni ngombwa kuba ubwacu gusa, kandi abagabo bazagaragara kandi bakora byose. "
BYOSE BYINSHI! Iyi ni Svetlana Semenovna! Nibyiza, reka tumenyereye ... Afite imyaka 52. Akora mu ivuriro, kandi yari wenyine ubuzima bwe bwose. Buri gihe yaba afite ijisho ryijimye, nubwo yabana mwishywa. Ntafite abana be kandi ntazigera. Yahisemo. Abagabo baramubaza, kandi yasobanukiwe icyaruta umwe. Ashobora kugaragara mu kiganiro twagiranye nawe, kuko Svetlana Svetona Semenovna ari muri buri mugore, nanjye nawe. Nubwoko bwubwoba, aho bugarukira, ubugome, gutenguha no kwiheba hamwe. Hano. Kubyerekeye gutegereza ibikorwa byumugabo. Hariho amarushanwa menshi cyane nigihe gito kugirango utegereze ikintu. Nibyiza, kugutegereza, niki? Nta na kimwe! Reka gutegereza! Igihe kirageze cyo gukora!
Umugore, ariko ukore! "